I don’t know if I’d ever want to be a parent but if I do I think I will definitely try adoption. I wouldn’t want to willingly bring yet another child into this crappy world and there are so many children out there without homes.

With Hari, I’m sad they didn’t explore adoption. But I have a feeling it’s more than about having a kid. I feel like she wants the whole experience of being a mom, pregnancy included. But that’s the only justification I have. The hope I have is that she believes finding a forever partner is equally as miraculous as getting pregnant. Maybe the idea of adoption may come out later?

As for me, I’ve always thought about adoption. I feel like the only thing that would hold me back is how expensive and emotionally burdensome the process can be for both me and any potential child. In America, newborn adoptions can cost up to 50K domestically and internationally. Foster adoption would cost less but the main goal fostering is to reunite kids back with their biological parents, so if they were unable to reunite with their parents and are now up for adoption, I would need to brace myself for the emotional and psychological damage and stress the kid I adopt may have. I’m not sure if I’m at a place where I can do that alone (since I’m unmarried) but if I were to get married, I would need the consent of my spouse to be able to take on that burden as well. As you can tell, I thought long and hard about this (lol) but it’s still a work in progress for me.

You are not the only one. I am in my late twenties and I do not think I will ever have kids, because I still struggle to care for myself properly, let alone someone else. Also, pregnancy scares me. I once told a mother that I thought it was terrifying to carry another human being in your body for nine months, and she looked at me as if I was a monster. I hail from a day care worker’s nest, so I can handle kids, and I am the cool fairy godmother to my niece and nephew, but I am glad the moment I can return the troublemakers to my sister. My aunt is adopted, and that was explained to us pretty early without any embellishments. She is your aunt. Period. Just like that. However, it is a difficult and expensive process.

I was like you and @mindy as well. Didn’t want to have kids and if than to adopt because there’re so many of them waiting for better life or to be loved. Until I had one when I was 34 and I wouldn’t change it. Now I have a second one and I’m enjoying it to the fullest. With first one I was suffering from severe postnatal depression ( suicidal thoughts, bad mom thoughts and giving up my son for adoption), it did pass but I know now why I was having a hard time then, but that’s another story.

It’s really hard and expensive to adopt even in any European country, mostly you need to be married and have a great financial situation. There were lots of Korean babies, children adopted in France 20- 30 years ago and if those parents weren’t rich they have had it really rough. At some stage, mostly as a teenager, an adopted person wants to look for her/his real parents and adoptive parents need to provide a deep understanding of why it’s like that. That’s why when a child is born to poor parents he/she can’t swap them out and loves or hates them but can’t change.

It’s forbidden for single people. It’s ridiculous. They imagine everyone there already knows this so she doesn’t even think about it.

The point of adoption was discussed elsewhere (perhaps in the fanwall or under the recap). As a mother myself, I can totally relate to the want of becoming a biological mother going through the whole process – a unique natural ‘gift’ for woman. It’s more than about having a child although getting pregnant and have a smooth delivery is never a given.

Coming from a Western country with adoption locally and overseas readily available, I have three colleagues choosing IVF despite the physical and emotional traumas as well as the prohibitive costs – even surrounded by the best possible family support. One succeeded in having 3 children through IVF while the other two remain childless.

At the end of the day, it’s about informed and personal choice. No straightforward answer here, not to mention adoption is a taboo in Korea.

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When this whole adoption discussion appeared in the comments, I tried to look for some information, and what I found (although in non official sites and only forums and comments) is that in SK it is not possible to adopt a child if you are single. So HaRi faces the same problem, and you have to think that adoption is a process that can take years (like 3 or 4).
HaRi has given herself 6 months time to get pregnant. She needs to do that in that time, because she needs to get surgery as soon as possible. Endometriosis is a very serious illness that affects us woman and is not usually diagnosed on time, mainly because we are told that when we have our periods it’s normal it hurts and just take a pain killer. We should all pay attention to our health.

And then there’s this other thing that I like how it’s shown: HaRi never worried before it would be too late because she feels she’s still young. And we can feel young and healthy, but the fact is that woman should better be a mother in her 20’s than in her 40’s. Very few women get a pregnancy in their 40’s the natural way, without any specific treatment, specially if it’s their first child. And we never think about it when we get older. That’s exactly what happened to HaRi, she always thought she had time and then the doctor told her about her probabilities. I know the scene was harsh and it may have seen as her doctor was being even rude, but I think it emphasized the shock of realizing her time was about to end.

And regarding you and how you feel about kids and that you’re not good with them, just think that if you ever become a mother your child would not be a kid but YOUR kid. It’s something different. I have a friend, and she’s never liked children, in fact she was really upset when she found out she was pregnant, and she always say: I still don’t like kids, but I LOVE my beautiful daughter.

I’m not familiar with SK law, but I imagine that if getting a sperm donor is a shut door, adopting as a single parent is probably also impossible!
I live in an European country with a more progressive legislation, and here adopting as a single parent albeit legal is still almost impossible. I work in the school system, so I get to see a lot of adopted children, and they are 98% from international adoptions and adopted by a mom and a dad. International adoptions bring their own set of issues, but, for starters, they are costly and usually you need to fit a mold too: straight, married, under 40, with a steady job but free time, able-bodied, etc.
All this to say that Hari’s outlook on adoption is probably even worst than on conceiving herself, endometriosis* and all.

*I’m happy that this drama talks about endometriosis. It affects women’s work life and intimate relationships, and it can be truly debilitating. People don’t talk enough about it!