Sometimes I think I had a slightly weirder childhood than most.
I loved the fairy tale in It’s Okay to Not Be Okay a lot for several reasons. (I’m refusing to call it a “dark” fairy tale, for reasons discussed below.)
It reminded me a lot of the Edward Gorey books I used to look over as a kid. If you’re not familiar with Gorey, just know that his books are…not child appropriate (though he did illustrate several children’s books and novels, including the excellent John Bellaires books). I love his style of illustration because it’s very gothic and complex while employing only the use of pen and paper. I saw an exhibit of his work a few years ago which just reminded me so much of what I loved about his work growing up.
I grew up obsessed with fairy tales. I sought them out – tracking down every version of common stories like Cinderella like it was my job. I think if I had chosen the academic route I would have specialized in fairy tales. I shelves of fairy tales at home, and I take great comfort in them. The thing I love most about fairy tales is that they are often not as clear cut as the sanitized versions we know today. A lot of them don’t really present a single clear message, and often the heroes and heroines of such tales make large sacrifices to get what they desire in the end. They are dark. They teach lessons that can’t be understood merely by simple ideas of “good” and “bad”. Many of them are very dark and disturbing, but I never grew up thinking of them that way, or that they weren’t appropriate for children. They never scared me. In fact, other than Disney, I really hated saccharine stories.
Like I said, weird childhood. My parents never really censored what I read or watched. They made sure to expose me and my brother to all sorts of ideas and cultures through art, travel, and books. One of my favorite movies was (and still is) Labyrinth. I remember making my mother read me Macbeth at age seven or eight. I’ve always been grateful for this freedom from censorship because by giving us the chance to explore the world freely allowed us to become used to the idea that things are not always black and white – much like the fairy tales I loved. Happy endings exist, but they have to be earned, and getting there means will not be a painless journey.
Which brings me back to It’s Okay to Not Be Okay. I loved the story because it taught a lesson but it wasn’t preachy and it wasn’t pretty. It was real and also very simple. We need pain to understand happiness. I don’t care whether you believe this or not, but it certainly holds weight to me. Maybe not as a child, but as an adult I have learned to understand and appreciate my happiness because of my understanding of pain. I can’t wait to see more of this drama simply because it seems to straddle the world of fairy tales and the real world, which are much more closely related than we know. I hope we get more fairy tales and even though it’s a drama and will have a happy ending, it’s nice to know that the road there won’t necessarily be lit by bright lights.
From The Grashlycrumb Tinies – Definitely not a kids book
I love fairy tales and children books. I love illustrations, my dream was to illustrate children books but life took the more strange path and my dreams are locked in very high shelf for now. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever find the key of that iron box which starts to be rotten.
I came across fairy tales and children’s literature while I was studying it and I was surprised how it’s breathtaking in every aspect and more thrilling than adult stories. It’s really hard to find not a sanitised version of them that’s why maybe I love Astrid Lindgren and her little heroes which made ruckus in adult world.
Fairy tales of northern countries where life was really hard and nature more savage are full of cruelty but brothers Grimm’s fairy tales were very dark as well and there’s available an english version of their work before it was rewritten by themselves. Each nation has stories which are very similar and it’s fascinating how they’re transmitted from one generation to another. There’s this story of Charles Perrault La Barbe blue which I know in different version but it made my nights difficult by having my imagination making overtimes. It’s a first story I ‘ve read in french and it’s horrifying and you can know some bits of it from kdrama Strong Woman Do Bong Soon.
Last time my son was asking him to read a book he got from library and it was lovely but for him very scary. It was about a girl who could get an domestic animal like a cat or dog. Once she brought home a lion. Her mom moved out for long-term vacation and little by little people from the town started to disappear. The illustrations give us more clue – shoes and accessories stay untouched in the spot the person was seen for the last time. At the end even the girl disappears and finally the lion is happiest in savanna between other animals around him. A 5 years old was claiming that the lion wasn’t nice because he ate everybody so it was my turn to explain him why I was laughing at the end what was the message.
I know the feeling about locking up dreams. I wanted…a very different life from the one I have now. I’m grateful and happy now, but I took a lot of paths I wish I hadn’t to get here. I think I became obsessed with fairy tales right after I learned to read. I remember checking out all of Andrew Lang’s fairy books from the library. I later explored Grimm, Andersen, etc. One of my favorite books growing up was my mother’s beautiful illustrated copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince and Other Tales. I did multiple projects and papers throughout both my school and university days on fairy tales.
I’m sort of fascinated by the sanitization of these stories, because they are so much more powerful to children when we leave the harsh parts in. I have found that kids are more engaged with the stories even when they don’t fully grasp the moral or understand the meaning like your son. I understand your son’s reasoning – here’s this lion eating people, even when we know eating people is bad. And I think these types of stories are so important for young minds because it helps them grow and think complexly. It really causes them to stop and think about the world and people’s motivations as going beyond “good” and “bad”. I’m glad you explained to him why you saw the story your way.
I know not all kids will like or relate to the same things, but I also think we do them a disservice when we hide the realities of the world from them. I remember I never thought the witches in movies and stories were scary, per se, just a little misguided; but when my nieces were small they found them scary, and I had to reexamine how I saw the story. It’s always fascinating to see the world through children’s eyes.
Also: I have definitely read a few versions of Bluebeard…that’s one of the very few I would probably keep from young children without edits. It is quite disturbing – I had to read it again when I was in university and it was a whole new experience as an adult.
SnarkyJellyfish
June 21, 2020 at 11:55 AM
Sometimes I think I had a slightly weirder childhood than most.
I loved the fairy tale in It’s Okay to Not Be Okay a lot for several reasons. (I’m refusing to call it a “dark” fairy tale, for reasons discussed below.)
It reminded me a lot of the Edward Gorey books I used to look over as a kid. If you’re not familiar with Gorey, just know that his books are…not child appropriate (though he did illustrate several children’s books and novels, including the excellent John Bellaires books). I love his style of illustration because it’s very gothic and complex while employing only the use of pen and paper. I saw an exhibit of his work a few years ago which just reminded me so much of what I loved about his work growing up.
I grew up obsessed with fairy tales. I sought them out – tracking down every version of common stories like Cinderella like it was my job. I think if I had chosen the academic route I would have specialized in fairy tales. I shelves of fairy tales at home, and I take great comfort in them. The thing I love most about fairy tales is that they are often not as clear cut as the sanitized versions we know today. A lot of them don’t really present a single clear message, and often the heroes and heroines of such tales make large sacrifices to get what they desire in the end. They are dark. They teach lessons that can’t be understood merely by simple ideas of “good” and “bad”. Many of them are very dark and disturbing, but I never grew up thinking of them that way, or that they weren’t appropriate for children. They never scared me. In fact, other than Disney, I really hated saccharine stories.
Like I said, weird childhood. My parents never really censored what I read or watched. They made sure to expose me and my brother to all sorts of ideas and cultures through art, travel, and books. One of my favorite movies was (and still is) Labyrinth. I remember making my mother read me Macbeth at age seven or eight. I’ve always been grateful for this freedom from censorship because by giving us the chance to explore the world freely allowed us to become used to the idea that things are not always black and white – much like the fairy tales I loved. Happy endings exist, but they have to be earned, and getting there means will not be a painless journey.
Which brings me back to It’s Okay to Not Be Okay. I loved the story because it taught a lesson but it wasn’t preachy and it wasn’t pretty. It was real and also very simple. We need pain to understand happiness. I don’t care whether you believe this or not, but it certainly holds weight to me. Maybe not as a child, but as an adult I have learned to understand and appreciate my happiness because of my understanding of pain. I can’t wait to see more of this drama simply because it seems to straddle the world of fairy tales and the real world, which are much more closely related than we know. I hope we get more fairy tales and even though it’s a drama and will have a happy ending, it’s nice to know that the road there won’t necessarily be lit by bright lights.
From The Grashlycrumb Tinies – Definitely not a kids book
BC
June 21, 2020 at 2:05 PM
I love fairy tales and children books. I love illustrations, my dream was to illustrate children books but life took the more strange path and my dreams are locked in very high shelf for now. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever find the key of that iron box which starts to be rotten.
I came across fairy tales and children’s literature while I was studying it and I was surprised how it’s breathtaking in every aspect and more thrilling than adult stories. It’s really hard to find not a sanitised version of them that’s why maybe I love Astrid Lindgren and her little heroes which made ruckus in adult world.
Fairy tales of northern countries where life was really hard and nature more savage are full of cruelty but brothers Grimm’s fairy tales were very dark as well and there’s available an english version of their work before it was rewritten by themselves. Each nation has stories which are very similar and it’s fascinating how they’re transmitted from one generation to another. There’s this story of Charles Perrault La Barbe blue which I know in different version but it made my nights difficult by having my imagination making overtimes. It’s a first story I ‘ve read in french and it’s horrifying and you can know some bits of it from kdrama Strong Woman Do Bong Soon.
Last time my son was asking him to read a book he got from library and it was lovely but for him very scary. It was about a girl who could get an domestic animal like a cat or dog. Once she brought home a lion. Her mom moved out for long-term vacation and little by little people from the town started to disappear. The illustrations give us more clue – shoes and accessories stay untouched in the spot the person was seen for the last time. At the end even the girl disappears and finally the lion is happiest in savanna between other animals around him. A 5 years old was claiming that the lion wasn’t nice because he ate everybody so it was my turn to explain him why I was laughing at the end what was the message.
SnarkyJellyfish
June 21, 2020 at 2:34 PM
I know the feeling about locking up dreams. I wanted…a very different life from the one I have now. I’m grateful and happy now, but I took a lot of paths I wish I hadn’t to get here. I think I became obsessed with fairy tales right after I learned to read. I remember checking out all of Andrew Lang’s fairy books from the library. I later explored Grimm, Andersen, etc. One of my favorite books growing up was my mother’s beautiful illustrated copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince and Other Tales. I did multiple projects and papers throughout both my school and university days on fairy tales.
I’m sort of fascinated by the sanitization of these stories, because they are so much more powerful to children when we leave the harsh parts in. I have found that kids are more engaged with the stories even when they don’t fully grasp the moral or understand the meaning like your son. I understand your son’s reasoning – here’s this lion eating people, even when we know eating people is bad. And I think these types of stories are so important for young minds because it helps them grow and think complexly. It really causes them to stop and think about the world and people’s motivations as going beyond “good” and “bad”. I’m glad you explained to him why you saw the story your way.
I know not all kids will like or relate to the same things, but I also think we do them a disservice when we hide the realities of the world from them. I remember I never thought the witches in movies and stories were scary, per se, just a little misguided; but when my nieces were small they found them scary, and I had to reexamine how I saw the story. It’s always fascinating to see the world through children’s eyes.
Also: I have definitely read a few versions of Bluebeard…that’s one of the very few I would probably keep from young children without edits. It is quite disturbing – I had to read it again when I was in university and it was a whole new experience as an adult.
korfan
June 21, 2020 at 6:20 PM
Yes! Edward Gorey’s illustrations/drawings is what the show reminded me of.
SnarkyJellyfish
June 22, 2020 at 8:28 PM
I just cannot get enough of his work, and now I’m thinking I need some prints even though I don’t know if I have anywhere to put them up.