i was thinking about this….i think many of us will have survivors guilt.
if you are on the east coast of the US you definitely know people who were affected, someone who died, or had devastating results. not to mention the houseless and those in prison.
as cases rise it’s almost impossible not to feel sick that you were the lucky one. that you are the lucky one. that you’re valued more than others so you are here and don’t have to risk your life. from a totally removed standpoint, life “post” is going to be fascinating. but i think the trauma will take years to get over.
maybe with all this time a lot of creators are taking the time to write well and learn more. that’s all i can hope for the future at least in media, including kdramas. how all of this is connected sociopolitically etc. my heart is constantly at the pit of my feet.
i had to be prescribed xanax (which i hate taking) because things are so bad anxiety wise. having no control is so difficult. i hope that you are all okay and your families are. i am guessing it is more than likely that someone has lost a family member to this, or a job, or something just awful. there’s nothing that platitudes can give…but i am sorry.
i haven’t been outside in months. i recently just started to see my therapist irl (i crashed my car b4 this and it’s a long story but i don’t have one and wont have one lol and my parents r nuts and i cant use theirs.) sometimes i want to cry everyday. at other times i draw, i watch a lot of my favorite comedy things over and over again. i try not to think. i listen to a lot of music (fiona apple), i read some stuff to get better with my political education—though honestly not enough but half the time i can’t stomach it—and i think about how i’m going to make the most of my life now.
i don’t have any positive words anymore but i do know that this whole thing has made me even more sure that life is too complicated, long, short, awful, good to not do the things you want to do. see you soon x
Get better soon and if you are motivated to listen to something good about politics in french there are several podcasts on France Culture radio and last week was dedicated to Marx. It was an interesting listening.
its good to hear from you and i hope you are doing as well as you can. i hope your therapy is going well!
im very tired of being in a constant state of anger. im also just tired. i havent gone outside in months, and somehow i have never been more tired. not thinking sounds good, i will try to do that too.
i know things are hard. i cry just about everyday. but i think that the anger can be used—i don’t know how to have that fuel again yet, since we are stuck inside, but something will get better. this will pass and when we look back we’ll be so proud we made it through. hang in there because i know the pain is hard.
it’s really good that you are being considerate. my father had chemo and that’s pretty much what keeps me motivated to stay inside. this shit is horrid. i am glad to see people are taking it more seriously than i feel like we see or we witness all the idiots constantly. but still.
and i think it will or at least we the people (CRINGE) are just gonna keep going. i mean it’s always been this way but even though this time is atrocious think of all the things we woudl have never thought possible. i’m not optimistic today but not as weepy lol. we should get a medal for living here!!!
amara
July 27, 2020 at 2:32 PM
i was thinking about this….i think many of us will have survivors guilt.
if you are on the east coast of the US you definitely know people who were affected, someone who died, or had devastating results. not to mention the houseless and those in prison.
as cases rise it’s almost impossible not to feel sick that you were the lucky one. that you are the lucky one. that you’re valued more than others so you are here and don’t have to risk your life. from a totally removed standpoint, life “post” is going to be fascinating. but i think the trauma will take years to get over.
maybe with all this time a lot of creators are taking the time to write well and learn more. that’s all i can hope for the future at least in media, including kdramas. how all of this is connected sociopolitically etc. my heart is constantly at the pit of my feet.
i had to be prescribed xanax (which i hate taking) because things are so bad anxiety wise. having no control is so difficult. i hope that you are all okay and your families are. i am guessing it is more than likely that someone has lost a family member to this, or a job, or something just awful. there’s nothing that platitudes can give…but i am sorry.
i haven’t been outside in months. i recently just started to see my therapist irl (i crashed my car b4 this and it’s a long story but i don’t have one and wont have one lol and my parents r nuts and i cant use theirs.) sometimes i want to cry everyday. at other times i draw, i watch a lot of my favorite comedy things over and over again. i try not to think. i listen to a lot of music (fiona apple), i read some stuff to get better with my political education—though honestly not enough but half the time i can’t stomach it—and i think about how i’m going to make the most of my life now.
i don’t have any positive words anymore but i do know that this whole thing has made me even more sure that life is too complicated, long, short, awful, good to not do the things you want to do. see you soon x
BC
July 27, 2020 at 4:24 PM
Get better soon and if you are motivated to listen to something good about politics in french there are several podcasts on France Culture radio and last week was dedicated to Marx. It was an interesting listening.
https://www.franceculture.fr/emissions/entendez-vous-leco/des-nouvelles-de-marx-14-dans-la-peau-de-karl-marx
https://www.franceculture.fr/emissions/series/karl-marx
amara
August 12, 2020 at 4:39 PM
LOVE MARX and omg! thank you so much! it was my major in college (fr) but i lost all of it. this is great. thank you
saturtledaisy
July 28, 2020 at 2:22 AM
its good to hear from you and i hope you are doing as well as you can. i hope your therapy is going well!
im very tired of being in a constant state of anger. im also just tired. i havent gone outside in months, and somehow i have never been more tired. not thinking sounds good, i will try to do that too.
amara
August 12, 2020 at 4:40 PM
have you taken a walk since?
i know things are hard. i cry just about everyday. but i think that the anger can be used—i don’t know how to have that fuel again yet, since we are stuck inside, but something will get better. this will pass and when we look back we’ll be so proud we made it through. hang in there because i know the pain is hard.
saturtledaisy
August 14, 2020 at 10:05 AM
due to a second wave and housemates with fragile health i have not been taking walks sadly – i miss the outside
the hope that “something’s gotta give eventually even if my entire country is made out of idiots” is the only thing that keeps me going
amara
August 14, 2020 at 2:34 PM
it’s really good that you are being considerate. my father had chemo and that’s pretty much what keeps me motivated to stay inside. this shit is horrid. i am glad to see people are taking it more seriously than i feel like we see or we witness all the idiots constantly. but still.
and i think it will or at least we the people (CRINGE) are just gonna keep going. i mean it’s always been this way but even though this time is atrocious think of all the things we woudl have never thought possible. i’m not optimistic today but not as weepy lol. we should get a medal for living here!!!
sirena
July 28, 2020 at 7:00 AM
I am sorry that you’re going through this. Things will get better.
amara
August 12, 2020 at 4:41 PM
thank you so much for saying so and you’re right. this too shall pass
sirena
August 13, 2020 at 6:19 AM
@boughtabride Any time 🙂