All right my lovely beanfriends.I’m gonna be a bit controversial with my Brahms take thisweek:
I’m not mad at episode 12.
Yes, it was incrediblypainful to watch. Yes, it sucked seeing Song-ah get kicked while down over and over. (I mean, we get it show, she’s not got a future as a violinist, you donot need to keep torturing her – and us – with the reminders).
But the thing is – it also was what she needed to hear. Maybe not in that way (Joon-young’s agent and her professor can both go jump in a fiery pit lined with nails) but she needed tobe realistic about her future. Now I’m not saying to give up the violin, or even her dreams, but she needs to adjust them a bit. Or else get better.
My thought since the start has been – and what I think the show is trying to get at ultimately with Song-ah’s arc – is that she can be good, but she has to believe it herself. There seems to be something in Song-ah that completely doubts her ability to be good and it’s clearly playing a large role in what holds her back. And I get that – she started late, she’s the lowest ranked, she doesn’t have the background or outside support from her family and she knows it. Maybe I’m projecting, but this was and is how I feel a lot. I have this idea in my head that I will never be good enough or that what I have is a fluke, and it’s there in the back of my head despite everything, and that idea is holds me back. Nothing else. Talent, work – it’s all doable if I put the energy into it. I may not be the best, but I can also be more than merely competent if I work hard enough. And I think Song-ah, while she’ll never be great, she has it in her to be good if she can overcome this hurdle.
Song-ah doesn’t believe in herself (cheesy as that sounds) and so it holds her back. I know because I did the same to myself (and sometimes still do) and it did hold me back for a long time and it hurt me a lot. It’s hard to admit that much aloud sometimes, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter how much other people love you, support you, care about you, cheer you on – if there’s a persistent enough voice in your head saying you’re never going to be good enough, it will bring you down. Song-ah needs to turn inwards and ask herself why she wants this. Why it’s so important to her to be a violinist. Obviously, she loves music. But we also know that part of her motivation was Dong-yoon at the start, and I think she needs to reckon with that. I also think she needs to examine what she wants with her life, because that’s not clear – either to us or her at this point it seems.
It frustrated me to no end seeing Song-ah’s face fall at the end of episode 12 because it is so stupid of her to thinkthat Joon-young cares for anyone but her. But at the same time it makes perfect sense. (I know I just contradicted myself but go with me here.)
Joon-young has been 100% honest with Song-ah about his feelings from the start. Moreover, his actions reenforce his words (which is so rare in dramas I can’t even). He says he cares, and he shows it too. He keeps her handkerchief and puts Jung-kyung’s away when he realizedit hurt her to see it. He keeps her umbrella with him all the time. He tells her the things he’s never told others, even his two closest friends. He apologizes when he screws up. Joon-young’s only real misstep is that sometimes he forgetsto tell her the things he thinks are irrelevant – because they are to him. Things like he’s entering a competition again, or that he’s playing the same piece as Song-ah with Jung-kyung. (I do have some quibbles with him not telling Jung-kyung that he went home with Song-ah, but I believe that was out of consideration for both women; though I assume it will come back to bite him in the ass because one or both of them will get it twisted.) To us as outsiders, we see that these are truly innocent mistakes. We see how cold he is with Jung-kyung now. We see that there truly is nothing left there.
(Seriously. Has Song-ah seen this smile?)
But imagine you’re Song-ah, and you already doubt everything you have. You doubt your ability to play, your worthinessas a musician. No matter how much actions should speak louder than words – it doesn’t matter that he blew off rehearsal with Jung-kyung to show her his hometown and introduced her to his mother – Song-ah is going to ignore all those truths over the stupid words that Jung-kyung says. And it’s so stupid. It’s manipulative of Jung-kyung, but most of the damage comes from within Song-ah herself. She holds onto the wrong things for the wrong reasons.
So yes, episode 12 was painful to watch. But it was also the kick in the pants that Song-ah needed. She needs to – to put it nicely – get over herself. It sucks to be down and out like she is,and it did not help that she saw Joon-young and Jung-kyung in the taxi at the end, but we know that will almost definitely resolve itself in a moment next week, but the fact that she hasn’t cleaned up her own inner self will not. Until and unless Song-ah really faces herself and reality, I don’t know if it will ever be possible for her to be totally comfortable in any relationship.
I know what it’s like to doubt yourself — to have what some people call “impostor syndrome”. I do get where Song-ah is coming from. (I also think you and I very similar in some ways with this, @snarkyjellyfish).
But I’ve also had experiences in my life where I really liked something, was dead-set on doing more of it if I could (maybe even turning it into a career), and then came up against the limits of my ability. No matter what I tried, I hit a stumbling block and found that the people I was surrounded by were simply better than me. So my perspective here is that this isn’t always an internal thing. Sometimes it really is about reaching a place where your capability runs out and, try as hard as you might, you just can’t go any further.
After watching all of these episodes, I think it would just be unrealistic for Song-ah’s problem to be merely internal. It would be too convenient and I think it belies her entire experience with the violin. Given that musicians like Hyeon-ho — who is almost certainly more talented than Song-ah — can’t find jobs, I just can’t see Song-ah making a career out of this. So while I agree 100% about the imperative to be realistic, I think realism in Song-ah’s case would involve looking for a career where she can be close to music, a career where she might even be able to play the violin sometimes, but which doesn’t involve a career as a professional violinist.
I agree that she’s never going to be a violinist – at least not in the way that Joon-young is a pianist. But what I mean is, that she maybe has it in her to at least be more than what she is. She has it in her to be good (not great, not remarkable, not special, but just plain good). So far, we know she is not good, but she is passing. I think she could push her ability enough to make it at least in a small orchestra or something similar like a part time gig. I’d be disappointed in the show if she suddenly became great overnight because that makes no sense (and if it follows from the idea that it took a dude to bring that out in her – ughhhhh don’t even get me started).
There will always be people who are better. That’s just life. But that doesn’t mean Song-ah can’t be good. She’s obviously got enough talent to have gotten into a great program even if it took her some time. And that was through persistence and practice. I think a lot about that question she asked Joon-young – “How did you feel about your performance?” – along with the comment that was made to Joon-young about how a performance that moves at least one or two people is more special than getting across the board good marks at competition, seem to be the two pieces that need to come together for Song-ah. She’s constantly being told that her music lacks her taking it into control, she simply follows the music instead of making it her own. It doesn’t take greatness to be creative. If she could find that in herself, to make a performance that makes her happy, maybe she can find the inner peace she needs.
What I was trying to get at is that maybe she’s not yet at the limits of her talent. Even if Song-ah’s talent isn’t ever to be a great violinist, there is still space for her to grow her ability, and she isn’t taking up that space because of how she feels about herself.
I agree that she probably has more in her, talent-wise. But I also sort of feel that, her own passion and interest notwithstanding, persistently pushing in this direction might not be in her best interests. She might improve and she might (finally) be able to reach a place where she’s at peace with herself, but it’s also possible she wont. The environment she finds herself in completely poisonous; it’s destroying her sense of self and sense of her own worth. She has so much more to offer. At this point, I think her best option would just be to remove herself from this environment as soon as possible while maintaining a connection with music and the violin. After all the unhappiness and agony she’s been put through (she’s put herself through?), I think she owes it to herself to let this go with the knowledge that she gave her goal her best shot.
I agree – but I think that’s the whole point of her arc? From the start I assumed her arc would be her coming to terms with not being able to fulfill her dreams the way she wanted to.
It seems like the theme that runs through the show is reaching for a dream that you may never get to hold (much like Brahms and his ill-fated love). I think that’s why it resonated with me so much from episode one. I actually wrote something then that I never posted, about how I related to Song-ah, because there was something she said that resonated with me: “There are so many dreams, except for the one I’m looking for.” I think this can describe all the characters – they are all looking for something, but it’s not quite what they wanted or expected.
(I also have a massive essay in me about the parallels of Song-ah and Jung-kyung in terms of career and relationship to music, but I don’t have the time to write it now. Plus I want to see a bit more of how Jung-kyung’s story plays out next week to cement my theories.)
Totally agree on how you see/perceive Song Ah. 👌
Not to mention, one of our beanies posted an interview of our drama writer and it showed how she really prepared the story, give thoughts on our lead characters story. I honestly love the narrative of this show; how it used metaphors so that someone/viewer can actually give their own meaning to it. I am looking forward to your essays! 😉
Ha, thanks. We are often our own worst enemies. Been there, done that. Nothing can help until the person who it’s happening to comes to terms. That’s just life.
Yes. I think the biggest obstacle for Song Ah is not the selfish professors, the manipulative manager, the two-faced classmates, the selfish friends or even Jung Kyung. It’s herself. Her lack of confidence in herself and all the insecurities are what’s setting her back from seeing the bigger picture. Honestly we’ve all been there or will have moments like this in our own lives, which is probably why we find it somewhat frustrating to watch, because we are Song Ah. We are rooting for her to be happy because that is what we are also searching for within ourselves. Sometimes when our minds are driven by the thought that there is only one path for us, we can be blindsided by the other opportunities out there and become stubborn in our mindset. Although she may not see it yet, I’m confident that Song Ah will figure out the right path for her and once she does, she’s going to give it her 100% and gain the confidence boost she needs to be happy. When that happens, she will also find happiness with Joon Young.
Agreed – it’s not all on her obviously. All those factors don’t help, but realistically, even if she never met Joon-young and Jung-kyung, the rest was all coming for her anyway. At the end of the day she needs to refocus and recognize that she’s done all she can, and now it may be time to reevaluate her dreams a bit.
I’ve been hiding from Dramabeans ever since ep 12 because I can’t deal with the pain. Reading your post makes me feel a lot better (and more hopeful), so thank you!
You’re welcome! I actually saw a lot of the posts after episode 12 and was having the opposite reaction to most beanies, which is why I decided to air my thoughts.
I think it’s really easy with this drama to get caught up in Song-ah’s perspective and lose sight of her reality, which is why I think so many beanies were mad or disappointed with episode 12, whereas to me, it seemed like the natural progression of her arc and I was actually waiting for this to happen. I mean, I don’t want to see her knocked down like this, but she needs to be realistic because it’s very clear at this point that her relationship with the violin is affecting every aspect of her life and it’s becoming toxic.
I haven’t finished episode 12 but this is brilliant. I can see how it’s frustrating to watch as a viewer but I totally get Song Ah. Also, regarding the little things she’s oblivious to, as far as she knows JY still has the handkerchief in his desk. She doesn’t know he put it away. We know and we love him for doing those little things. It’s sweet that he does things that show his affection and concern for her in private because it reinforces that he’s being sincere. But at the same time Song Ah does need to know these little things! She probably thinks he’s still holding on to JK in a way. So I get her and I hope Show will address her insecurities you mentioned as it does reflect on her relationships, not just with JY, but with others too.
Right – and that’s the problem with Joon-young. (I could write an essay like this on him too.) He’s definitely getting better at communication but he still misses the mark sometimes. And that’s totally on him and not Song-ah, because of course she would be bothered by seeing the handkerchief. I actually don’t have a problem with him keeping a piece of Jung-kyung – we all have people who will remain in a tiny part of our hearts no matter what, and I think that’s ok.
The good thing is it is so clear that he has totally and completely moved on from her, and it is just little misunderstandings at this point. Literally, the first person he told about playing for Jung-kyung was Song-ah, to prevent misunderstanding. This is his way of saying good-bye to his past and ending it cleanly instead of making it bitter the way it is with Hyun-ho. Jung-kyung may not be there yet emotionally, but that’s not on Joon-young. He’s very clearly drawn the line. And maybe it wasn’t the best way to say good-bye, but is such a Joon-young way to end things.
YESSSS. LOVED IT. it shocks me to no end how people can go from the amazing kyootness love of ep11 to being totally out after ep12. i think it’s ’cause 1) the pain of career hits hard; 2) the passivity of SA is something to get used to and 3) the chamber dinner was too well made haha. loved your defense and your views!
That chamber dinner was so painful to watch. I wanted to cry for Song-ah. It was just too cruel.
I don’t blame people for reacting the way they did. The eposode focused so much on Song-ah that it was really easy to forget all the good stuff. I think the writer and director (and Park Eun-bin) did a fantastic job building to the end of the episode in such a way that you really are viewing things from her perspective by the end of the hour. It was well done and I think the feelings of a lot of beanies was what they aimed for. The drama has been really good about focusing on the contrasts between dreams and reality and today it was Song-ah’s turn to wake up.
*tear *sniff @ “I think the writer and director (and Park Eun-bin) did a fantastic job building to the end of the episode in such a way that you really are viewing things from her perspective by the end of the hour.” AMEN.
would you like to be dylb protection squad/avengers with me? hehehe
your mentioning of dreams v. reality reminded me of a good tweet you might like (if you haven’t seen it). the show pays homage to surrealism in ep11 while SA discusses with JY about whether she should change pieces: https://twitter.com/sunset_xi/status/1313881737622028288?s=19
I love that analysis! And now I want to write an essay on dreams in this drama but I also want to go back and explore surrealism (or any other art movements) in the show aesthetics (I have a whole thing in my head about the styling of the characters too). I haven’t even been looking at the use of musical terms, though lots of other beanies have been good about talking about that stuff.
And I have no time to do any of this. GAH. I have so much work next week. And today (I should be working now but need a brain break). And I have to go home this weekend. Why is there not more time in a day? I guess I can sneak something in if I finish the brief I’m working on in time. My brain hurts already.
same! I find myself taking too many brain breaks during work to stan my favorite shows/kdramas but wishing I had the time to truly gush through blogging like my high school/college days. 🤭 guess dramabeans is a happy medium.
are you a fellow attorney? cause you used the word “brief” and wrote a good “defense case” haha.
I am (unfortunately) a fellow attorney. And I was incorrect – it was not a brief, but a petition I needed to finish. Which I did not. But that’s what Monday and coffee are for. Also my boss is sure it will get denied (totally will) which makes me annoyed I have to do it at all, but alas, client contracts etc. I do, however, also have a brief I need to get done. But isn’t that always the case?
sorry to hear about your tough week, fellow attorney.
i think that’s why we like dylb (kdrama in general). after a long day of living in microsoft word, it’s nice to live briefly in the world of kyoot daejeon dates, steinway kisses and defending show online. ☺️ see you after your brief/petition … and dylb armageddon!
Haha thanks. Yeah, I may be a bit late with my thoughts this week because of work. (Two depositions on Wednesday – I hate taking depositions. Bane of my existence, but so much easier when over zoom. I guess there are some pros to a pandemic.) Funnily, I started watching dramas because of law school, so I guess it makes sense that it’s still my happy place.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 7, 2020 at 7:58 PM
All right my lovely beanfriends.I’m gonna be a bit controversial with my Brahms take thisweek:
I’m not mad at episode 12.
Yes, it was incrediblypainful to watch. Yes, it sucked seeing Song-ah get kicked while down over and over. (I mean, we get it show, she’s not got a future as a violinist, you donot need to keep torturing her – and us – with the reminders).
But the thing is – it also was what she needed to hear. Maybe not in that way (Joon-young’s agent and her professor can both go jump in a fiery pit lined with nails) but she needed tobe realistic about her future. Now I’m not saying to give up the violin, or even her dreams, but she needs to adjust them a bit. Or else get better.
My thought since the start has been – and what I think the show is trying to get at ultimately with Song-ah’s arc – is that she can be good, but she has to believe it herself. There seems to be something in Song-ah that completely doubts her ability to be good and it’s clearly playing a large role in what holds her back. And I get that – she started late, she’s the lowest ranked, she doesn’t have the background or outside support from her family and she knows it. Maybe I’m projecting, but this was and is how I feel a lot. I have this idea in my head that I will never be good enough or that what I have is a fluke, and it’s there in the back of my head despite everything, and that idea is holds me back. Nothing else. Talent, work – it’s all doable if I put the energy into it. I may not be the best, but I can also be more than merely competent if I work hard enough. And I think Song-ah, while she’ll never be great, she has it in her to be good if she can overcome this hurdle.
Song-ah doesn’t believe in herself (cheesy as that sounds) and so it holds her back. I know because I did the same to myself (and sometimes still do) and it did hold me back for a long time and it hurt me a lot. It’s hard to admit that much aloud sometimes, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter how much other people love you, support you, care about you, cheer you on – if there’s a persistent enough voice in your head saying you’re never going to be good enough, it will bring you down. Song-ah needs to turn inwards and ask herself why she wants this. Why it’s so important to her to be a violinist. Obviously, she loves music. But we also know that part of her motivation was Dong-yoon at the start, and I think she needs to reckon with that. I also think she needs to examine what she wants with her life, because that’s not clear – either to us or her at this point it seems.
It frustrated me to no end seeing Song-ah’s face fall at the end of episode 12 because it is so stupid of her to thinkthat Joon-young cares for anyone but her. But at the same time it makes perfect sense. (I know I just contradicted myself but go with me here.)
Joon-young has been 100% honest with Song-ah about his feelings from the start. Moreover, his actions reenforce his words (which is so rare in dramas I can’t even). He says he cares, and he shows it too. He keeps her handkerchief and puts Jung-kyung’s away when he realizedit hurt her to see it. He keeps her umbrella with him all the time. He tells her the things he’s never told others, even his two closest friends. He apologizes when he screws up. Joon-young’s only real misstep is that sometimes he forgetsto tell her the things he thinks are irrelevant – because they are to him. Things like he’s entering a competition again, or that he’s playing the same piece as Song-ah with Jung-kyung. (I do have some quibbles with him not telling Jung-kyung that he went home with Song-ah, but I believe that was out of consideration for both women; though I assume it will come back to bite him in the ass because one or both of them will get it twisted.) To us as outsiders, we see that these are truly innocent mistakes. We see how cold he is with Jung-kyung now. We see that there truly is nothing left there.
(Seriously. Has Song-ah seen this smile?)
But imagine you’re Song-ah, and you already doubt everything you have. You doubt your ability to play, your worthinessas a musician. No matter how much actions should speak louder than words – it doesn’t matter that he blew off rehearsal with Jung-kyung to show her his hometown and introduced her to his mother – Song-ah is going to ignore all those truths over the stupid words that Jung-kyung says. And it’s so stupid. It’s manipulative of Jung-kyung, but most of the damage comes from within Song-ah herself. She holds onto the wrong things for the wrong reasons.
So yes, episode 12 was painful to watch. But it was also the kick in the pants that Song-ah needed. She needs to – to put it nicely – get over herself. It sucks to be down and out like she is,and it did not help that she saw Joon-young and Jung-kyung in the taxi at the end, but we know that will almost definitely resolve itself in a moment next week, but the fact that she hasn’t cleaned up her own inner self will not. Until and unless Song-ah really faces herself and reality, I don’t know if it will ever be possible for her to be totally comfortable in any relationship.
Maq
October 7, 2020 at 8:17 PM
I know what it’s like to doubt yourself — to have what some people call “impostor syndrome”. I do get where Song-ah is coming from. (I also think you and I very similar in some ways with this, @snarkyjellyfish).
But I’ve also had experiences in my life where I really liked something, was dead-set on doing more of it if I could (maybe even turning it into a career), and then came up against the limits of my ability. No matter what I tried, I hit a stumbling block and found that the people I was surrounded by were simply better than me. So my perspective here is that this isn’t always an internal thing. Sometimes it really is about reaching a place where your capability runs out and, try as hard as you might, you just can’t go any further.
After watching all of these episodes, I think it would just be unrealistic for Song-ah’s problem to be merely internal. It would be too convenient and I think it belies her entire experience with the violin. Given that musicians like Hyeon-ho — who is almost certainly more talented than Song-ah — can’t find jobs, I just can’t see Song-ah making a career out of this. So while I agree 100% about the imperative to be realistic, I think realism in Song-ah’s case would involve looking for a career where she can be close to music, a career where she might even be able to play the violin sometimes, but which doesn’t involve a career as a professional violinist.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 7, 2020 at 8:49 PM
I agree that she’s never going to be a violinist – at least not in the way that Joon-young is a pianist. But what I mean is, that she maybe has it in her to at least be more than what she is. She has it in her to be good (not great, not remarkable, not special, but just plain good). So far, we know she is not good, but she is passing. I think she could push her ability enough to make it at least in a small orchestra or something similar like a part time gig. I’d be disappointed in the show if she suddenly became great overnight because that makes no sense (and if it follows from the idea that it took a dude to bring that out in her – ughhhhh don’t even get me started).
There will always be people who are better. That’s just life. But that doesn’t mean Song-ah can’t be good. She’s obviously got enough talent to have gotten into a great program even if it took her some time. And that was through persistence and practice. I think a lot about that question she asked Joon-young – “How did you feel about your performance?” – along with the comment that was made to Joon-young about how a performance that moves at least one or two people is more special than getting across the board good marks at competition, seem to be the two pieces that need to come together for Song-ah. She’s constantly being told that her music lacks her taking it into control, she simply follows the music instead of making it her own. It doesn’t take greatness to be creative. If she could find that in herself, to make a performance that makes her happy, maybe she can find the inner peace she needs.
What I was trying to get at is that maybe she’s not yet at the limits of her talent. Even if Song-ah’s talent isn’t ever to be a great violinist, there is still space for her to grow her ability, and she isn’t taking up that space because of how she feels about herself.
Maq
October 7, 2020 at 9:38 PM
I agree that she probably has more in her, talent-wise. But I also sort of feel that, her own passion and interest notwithstanding, persistently pushing in this direction might not be in her best interests. She might improve and she might (finally) be able to reach a place where she’s at peace with herself, but it’s also possible she wont. The environment she finds herself in completely poisonous; it’s destroying her sense of self and sense of her own worth. She has so much more to offer. At this point, I think her best option would just be to remove herself from this environment as soon as possible while maintaining a connection with music and the violin. After all the unhappiness and agony she’s been put through (she’s put herself through?), I think she owes it to herself to let this go with the knowledge that she gave her goal her best shot.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 7, 2020 at 9:59 PM
I agree – but I think that’s the whole point of her arc? From the start I assumed her arc would be her coming to terms with not being able to fulfill her dreams the way she wanted to.
It seems like the theme that runs through the show is reaching for a dream that you may never get to hold (much like Brahms and his ill-fated love). I think that’s why it resonated with me so much from episode one. I actually wrote something then that I never posted, about how I related to Song-ah, because there was something she said that resonated with me: “There are so many dreams, except for the one I’m looking for.” I think this can describe all the characters – they are all looking for something, but it’s not quite what they wanted or expected.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 7, 2020 at 8:52 PM
(I also have a massive essay in me about the parallels of Song-ah and Jung-kyung in terms of career and relationship to music, but I don’t have the time to write it now. Plus I want to see a bit more of how Jung-kyung’s story plays out next week to cement my theories.)
hazelnuts
October 7, 2020 at 9:28 PM
Beautiful reflection!
SnarkyJellyfish
October 7, 2020 at 10:00 PM
Thank you!
hazelnuts
October 7, 2020 at 10:10 PM
Totally agree on how you see/perceive Song Ah. 👌
Not to mention, one of our beanies posted an interview of our drama writer and it showed how she really prepared the story, give thoughts on our lead characters story. I honestly love the narrative of this show; how it used metaphors so that someone/viewer can actually give their own meaning to it. I am looking forward to your essays! 😉
Midnight
October 7, 2020 at 11:29 PM
I haven’t watched this show but I agree SO deeply about everythibg you said on a very personal level.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 9:28 AM
Ha, thanks. We are often our own worst enemies. Been there, done that. Nothing can help until the person who it’s happening to comes to terms. That’s just life.
Midnight
October 8, 2020 at 10:04 AM
Exactly!
letseatcookies
October 8, 2020 at 12:07 AM
Yes. I think the biggest obstacle for Song Ah is not the selfish professors, the manipulative manager, the two-faced classmates, the selfish friends or even Jung Kyung. It’s herself. Her lack of confidence in herself and all the insecurities are what’s setting her back from seeing the bigger picture. Honestly we’ve all been there or will have moments like this in our own lives, which is probably why we find it somewhat frustrating to watch, because we are Song Ah. We are rooting for her to be happy because that is what we are also searching for within ourselves. Sometimes when our minds are driven by the thought that there is only one path for us, we can be blindsided by the other opportunities out there and become stubborn in our mindset. Although she may not see it yet, I’m confident that Song Ah will figure out the right path for her and once she does, she’s going to give it her 100% and gain the confidence boost she needs to be happy. When that happens, she will also find happiness with Joon Young.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 9:26 AM
Agreed – it’s not all on her obviously. All those factors don’t help, but realistically, even if she never met Joon-young and Jung-kyung, the rest was all coming for her anyway. At the end of the day she needs to refocus and recognize that she’s done all she can, and now it may be time to reevaluate her dreams a bit.
purplesheesh
October 8, 2020 at 12:21 AM
Thank you for saying this. It gave me a better perspective of Ep12.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 9:24 AM
I’m glad I helped – I actually was surprised by the reactions I saw to episode 12, which is why I wrote this.
stberry
October 8, 2020 at 1:48 AM
I’ve been hiding from Dramabeans ever since ep 12 because I can’t deal with the pain. Reading your post makes me feel a lot better (and more hopeful), so thank you!
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 9:22 AM
You’re welcome! I actually saw a lot of the posts after episode 12 and was having the opposite reaction to most beanies, which is why I decided to air my thoughts.
I think it’s really easy with this drama to get caught up in Song-ah’s perspective and lose sight of her reality, which is why I think so many beanies were mad or disappointed with episode 12, whereas to me, it seemed like the natural progression of her arc and I was actually waiting for this to happen. I mean, I don’t want to see her knocked down like this, but she needs to be realistic because it’s very clear at this point that her relationship with the violin is affecting every aspect of her life and it’s becoming toxic.
yongsital 🐧 ❄️
October 8, 2020 at 8:48 AM
I haven’t finished episode 12 but this is brilliant. I can see how it’s frustrating to watch as a viewer but I totally get Song Ah. Also, regarding the little things she’s oblivious to, as far as she knows JY still has the handkerchief in his desk. She doesn’t know he put it away. We know and we love him for doing those little things. It’s sweet that he does things that show his affection and concern for her in private because it reinforces that he’s being sincere. But at the same time Song Ah does need to know these little things! She probably thinks he’s still holding on to JK in a way. So I get her and I hope Show will address her insecurities you mentioned as it does reflect on her relationships, not just with JY, but with others too.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 9:11 AM
Right – and that’s the problem with Joon-young. (I could write an essay like this on him too.) He’s definitely getting better at communication but he still misses the mark sometimes. And that’s totally on him and not Song-ah, because of course she would be bothered by seeing the handkerchief. I actually don’t have a problem with him keeping a piece of Jung-kyung – we all have people who will remain in a tiny part of our hearts no matter what, and I think that’s ok.
The good thing is it is so clear that he has totally and completely moved on from her, and it is just little misunderstandings at this point. Literally, the first person he told about playing for Jung-kyung was Song-ah, to prevent misunderstanding. This is his way of saying good-bye to his past and ending it cleanly instead of making it bitter the way it is with Hyun-ho. Jung-kyung may not be there yet emotionally, but that’s not on Joon-young. He’s very clearly drawn the line. And maybe it wasn’t the best way to say good-bye, but is such a Joon-young way to end things.
ahjussi clown
October 8, 2020 at 7:45 PM
YESSSS. LOVED IT. it shocks me to no end how people can go from the amazing kyootness love of ep11 to being totally out after ep12. i think it’s ’cause 1) the pain of career hits hard; 2) the passivity of SA is something to get used to and 3) the chamber dinner was too well made haha. loved your defense and your views!
SnarkyJellyfish
October 8, 2020 at 8:27 PM
That chamber dinner was so painful to watch. I wanted to cry for Song-ah. It was just too cruel.
I don’t blame people for reacting the way they did. The eposode focused so much on Song-ah that it was really easy to forget all the good stuff. I think the writer and director (and Park Eun-bin) did a fantastic job building to the end of the episode in such a way that you really are viewing things from her perspective by the end of the hour. It was well done and I think the feelings of a lot of beanies was what they aimed for. The drama has been really good about focusing on the contrasts between dreams and reality and today it was Song-ah’s turn to wake up.
ahjussi clown
October 8, 2020 at 8:38 PM
*tear *sniff @ “I think the writer and director (and Park Eun-bin) did a fantastic job building to the end of the episode in such a way that you really are viewing things from her perspective by the end of the hour.” AMEN.
would you like to be dylb protection squad/avengers with me? hehehe
your mentioning of dreams v. reality reminded me of a good tweet you might like (if you haven’t seen it). the show pays homage to surrealism in ep11 while SA discusses with JY about whether she should change pieces: https://twitter.com/sunset_xi/status/1313881737622028288?s=19
SnarkyJellyfish
October 9, 2020 at 1:41 PM
I love that analysis! And now I want to write an essay on dreams in this drama but I also want to go back and explore surrealism (or any other art movements) in the show aesthetics (I have a whole thing in my head about the styling of the characters too). I haven’t even been looking at the use of musical terms, though lots of other beanies have been good about talking about that stuff.
And I have no time to do any of this. GAH. I have so much work next week. And today (I should be working now but need a brain break). And I have to go home this weekend. Why is there not more time in a day? I guess I can sneak something in if I finish the brief I’m working on in time. My brain hurts already.
ahjussi clown
October 9, 2020 at 11:23 PM
same! I find myself taking too many brain breaks during work to stan my favorite shows/kdramas but wishing I had the time to truly gush through blogging like my high school/college days. 🤭 guess dramabeans is a happy medium.
are you a fellow attorney? cause you used the word “brief” and wrote a good “defense case” haha.
SnarkyJellyfish
October 10, 2020 at 6:45 PM
I am (unfortunately) a fellow attorney. And I was incorrect – it was not a brief, but a petition I needed to finish. Which I did not. But that’s what Monday and coffee are for. Also my boss is sure it will get denied (totally will) which makes me annoyed I have to do it at all, but alas, client contracts etc. I do, however, also have a brief I need to get done. But isn’t that always the case?
ahjussi clown
October 10, 2020 at 11:57 PM
sorry to hear about your tough week, fellow attorney.
i think that’s why we like dylb (kdrama in general). after a long day of living in microsoft word, it’s nice to live briefly in the world of kyoot daejeon dates, steinway kisses and defending show online. ☺️ see you after your brief/petition … and dylb armageddon!
SnarkyJellyfish
October 11, 2020 at 10:05 AM
Haha thanks. Yeah, I may be a bit late with my thoughts this week because of work. (Two depositions on Wednesday – I hate taking depositions. Bane of my existence, but so much easier when over zoom. I guess there are some pros to a pandemic.) Funnily, I started watching dramas because of law school, so I guess it makes sense that it’s still my happy place.
velvetstuff
October 8, 2020 at 10:25 PM
I feel this so much! Thanks for writing this all out!
SnarkyJellyfish
October 9, 2020 at 9:54 AM
You’re welcome! Thank you for reading!