@turtuallysarcastic
Life can be very hard at times can’t it? Then there are other times when the days are bright and filled with hope. Hang on to those days and try to believe they will come again.

I don’t know how old you are, but I suspect that I have easily more than a couple of decades of ‘life experience’ to draw from compared to you, and can say with all certainty that this will pass. These darks days really will pass.

One thing you need to remind yourself over and over again:
When other people are horribly mean and say such awful things to you – 99.9% of the time it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Instead it reflects what they are thinking about their own work.
Maybe they are blaming you for the poor work they are doing.
Mostly though – it’s okay and perfectly normal to doubt yourself – the important thing is to look on this time as a way to learn from it. Then you will dust yourself off and walk away. But it will take time. Your mental state is bruised and battered and will take time to heal.

Every now and then I have times when I feel like such a total loser compared to other people in my life. Those days have been hard. Last year when I was unemployed for so long, one day I said to myself:
“Okay, you can pity yourself all you want solid for an hour. Just wallow in it as much as you want and then let go.”
I sat on the back porch and resolved to feel how bad I was and that no one wanted to hire me or be my friend yadda yadda. Then I saw the birds at the feeder and they made me smile in their beauty. Then I noticed my flowers needed watering. Soon I’d forgotten about it and was able to let go of myself for the time being. (or else I’m just way to easily distracted and entertained!)

Be kind to yourself – don’t listen to those horrible people at work. Listen to the people who love you for who you are – period. They are what gives you the strength to keep going.

You will get through these times and look back on it and shake your head. But it takes time.

The times that I feel useless and alone and totally needed anywhere I look at the photos of my flowers and then KNOW that I do have something that is unique to me and that I’m good at.

What are you good at? What makes you smile and feel confident?
So I’m sending you some flowers here as if I’m sending a card in the mail. Beanies from around the world all have their arms around you with love and encouragement.

Also, I’d add this poem to your card:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
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    Just so you know, one of the reasons I like to send my cards of encouragement is that I’m really writing to myself.
    This is to all the Beanies around the world who struggle at times and just want to make it through this day and the next.
    You will do it!
    Fighting!!!

    tagging other beanies who have been encouraging to me as well!
    I’m sure that I don’t have all the names
    @eazal, @isthatacorner, @mmmmm, @leetennant, @carlybisek, @snarkyjellyfish, @manichan, @purplesheesh, @pickleddragon
    You are all pretty great!!!

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      Thank you so much for this wonderful post of encouragement Jo! The pictures are gorgeous, so is your heart. ♥️

      I, too, received a card from Jo @turtuallysarcastic. I ditto whatever she wrote, especially on the be kind to yourself part. Dark times taught me that you don’t need everyone in your life -just those who love you are enough. Actually, it’s way more than enough when you can only focus on keeping who and what makes you happy in life. And health is the most important thing, period.

      I had trouble dealing with things, too, sometimes. But I also got so much love and encouragement from Beans and it made all the difference.

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      Thank you so much for these words of kindness @stpauligurl. Its a tough time and my future dreams seem to be so far out of reach but I will always keep your words of encouragement in mind. Thank you for the flowers

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      The flowers from you hang on the wall above my desk, with all their kind and encouraging words, so that whenever the day gets tough, all I have to do is look up and smile. Thank you for caring so much for us, @stpauligurl! Love and hugs back at you!

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      Your words are so thoughtful and beautiful. @turtuallysarcastic is blessed to have such a wonderful and thoughtful friend.

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    I’ve missed your lovely photos. They remind me that one of these years I really need to try to grow a peony again.

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      Thank you @ndlessjoie – the past month was kind of hard for me as well and I once again learned that when I get out with my camera I feel much better.
      Peonies seem to like my garden but I have sunflowers and dahlias growing. yeah!
      I’ll post some more flowers soon.

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    These words are so true. It will pass. It always does. It doesn’t make it easier at the moment, though. But it will pass and you will learn from it, Turtie.
    The best advice is being kind and gentle to yourself, because nobody else has the power to make you happy.
    And I totally forgot to tell you, Jo. A wonderful rose and all the beautiful messages arrived on Friday. Thanks so much for your love, your time and your thoughts!

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      ‘Beanies, be more kind to yourself in 2021’ – Turtie, Open Thread Jan.1st 2021. The irony. 🙂 But you are absolutely right, I just have to be patient for it all to pass. Thank you!♥️

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    I love you ST
    I know how you feel @turtuallysarcastic because I feel the same way about my life hugs

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    Thank you for your kind words, StpauliThey are directed a Turtie, but we’ve all been there. @turtuallysarcastic, hold on to your heart, you’ve got this! Here (*runs for the group hug) 💚💚💚

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    Thank you Stpauligurl Jo 😌🥰😘*hug*

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    @stpauligurl, I have no words to describe how much I love this card, and the flowers, and the poem.🥺 This is so touching and beautiful and I am so grateful to receive this from you! Forgive me if my reply is weird, I am too moved to say more, but thank you so much for the love!♥️

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      You are most welcome – as I wrote, many times they are words directed at myself. Doing this for others the past 15 months has helped me as much as them.
      So who knows, you might get another ‘card’ one of these days!!!!!

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    I love you, Jo! Your card helped me a lot and I still read it from time to time to remind me that I matter. We all matter, no matter how small we see ourselves, we matter.
    And she’s right, @turtuallysarcastic. We may not know each other personally but remember that we are here for you to listen to your rants, raves, and everything!

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