I feel that my Makjang Monday is more sad than funny, well at least to me, but trust, after years of living through this, I’ve learned to just laugh it off… eventually. Check the reply:)

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    This story is about one of the many ways me and my mom just can’t get along. I love my mom, I do!, but, oh man, sometimes we just can’t be in the same room. We are total opposites and both firm on our stance. For the most part, we can live peacefully (for that I would like to pat myself in the back since I feel that I’m the one that tries harder), but during our difficult times, nothing I say or do seems to work out. I’m the eldest of three. To my parents that means I’m the one they call to for anything and everything. My siblings too! It’s flattering that they think I can solve everything, but it can get quite annoying when they want me to do Every! Single! Little! Thing! Anyways, that is not the story I will tell you today.Today, I will tell you about how my mom clearly has a favorite child and, just putting it out there,it isn’t me. I know moms say they love all their children equally (Beanie moms don’t come at me, I completely understand that!), but let me tell you everyone around us, even outside our family, can tell my mom love LOVES my brother, the middle child. How can I tell? Just in the way she talks to us. Example: One night my parents were having an argument. The thing is they are the type of people to yell, in a very makjang manner by the way. (Good thing there was no kimchi laying around!) We are used to it, sadly, and so over it! Usually, I’m the one that steps in and tries to calm everyone down, but I’m so tired of it that I didn’t do anything that night and went on with my own business. My brother stepped up to calm them down. He is Big boy and when he speaks loudly, it’s quite intimidating. My parents quickly stopped their argument, spread out, and went their own ways. The next morning, I’m awake early as usual. Things were tense last night, but I was a good girl, I held my tongue, go me! My mom wakes up and I can tell she is still mad. I say good morning cheerily and she responds back gruffly. Ahhh, she is mad at everyone today, I think. Whatever, mom is being mom and I go back to what I was doing. It’s a weekend so my brother sleeps in, mind you he doesn’t care about being in anyone’s good graces like I do. He wakes up and my mom almost floats to his side to say good morning. I kid you not, my jaw is on the floor from this demonstration. Here I thought he was going to get an earful for raising his voice last night, but no mom just can’t get mad at him. A couple days later I call her out on it in front of some of my family and she is like, “What? Me? No way! I treat all of you the same.” The whole room cackles! I get it, it’s her precious son, but, man, how it hurts sometimes.

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      Like yesterday, my brother decides to cook and I immediately find it annoying. If I didn’t make it clear, it’s hard for me to be on my mom’s good side, so basically I do everything around the house since I work from home and she has a tough job, that’s my way of looking out for her. It’s whatever at this point. The problem here is: I end up cleaning everyone’s messes, especially his! Why? Because my low key ocd self doesn’t like the way he cleans up. I mean, if the stove isn’t clean, then what did you clean up in the kitchen anyways?!! The good thing was that his girlfriend was around. That means to impress her, he at least washed all of the dishes he dirtied. Oh, but guess who was right next to him helping him out?…You got it, my mom. She was like, “Pobrecito (my poor son), look how much my son sweated from washing all these dishes.” All the girls in the house rolled their eyes to the back of their heads. Lady, I love you, but how different would it be if I were a son…

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        Pheww! Third time is the charm! I tried three times and finally found my inappropriate word.

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        Can 100% relate! My younger brother is the only son. I and his wife have to work to keep him in line since my mom babied him so much.

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          My brother is sandwiched between two girls and was probably the only planned baby lol. He knows mom favors him so he does try to back us up when needed, but I see you boyyy. I love his girlfriend since she also keeps him in line a lot.

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        My favourite story about this relates to my younger brother who, admittedly, has always needed more attention and more care. But we had a hammock at home and I was lying on it one day. It was strung up next to the pool under a pagoda over a concrete foundation.
        My 6ft younger brother wanders over to hop on it as well and I say, “don’t do it, it’ll collapse”. He ignores me of course and JUMPS onto the hammock with me. It collapses and I land on the concrete with him on top of me; very nearly cracking my coccyx in the process.

        As I’m lying there half stunned with my brother’s weight on top of me, I hear my mother yell, “MY SON, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!”

        Of course she used his actual name but you get the idea. As you can imagine, she has never lived it down.

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          Oh my goodness! Why don’t brothers listen to us??! My brother is also over 6 ft. But i think he feels like he is smaller so I can totally imagine this happening🤣

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        I am sure you will have more and more beanies agree with you here. I am the oldest and I was ‘trained’ to be a parent than to be just an older sibling. My dad expects me to pay for my siblings education – with my own money – and it is not like he doesn’t have any. I recently paid for my brother wedding – in its entirety! I am blessed thankfully but it is still hard to think my parents think I have been born to look after them and my siblings. It is like I don’t have my own family to look after.

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          As the oldest and being very much aware of our family situation, I always minded how much I wasted and how I spent my money. With any money I made, I always made sure to give some to my parents. In that way, I feel so distant from my siblings who use it mostly for themselves. I feel like I already raised two children and now I’m helping take care of my nephew and my friend’s child since they were babies. I love them so much, but it’s tiring that I wonder if I am ever going to have my own.

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            My perspective to a lot of things after I had my own baby. Holding my baby in my arms my entire world shifted from where it used to be. Now the needs of my child come first before anything else. And I love my siblings and my parents. I do. But now my child comes first and foremost (oh and of course my husband 😬 he is no. 2)

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      Can’t we eldest all identify with this? For me, it’s my sister. I don’t mind it so much because she was basically an only child with me and my brother off to college by the time she was 8 years old. But my hubby hates the fact she’s favored. Whenever I go to family events, she and her hubby get a pass. My husband would love a pass (and I make ample excuses for him when he just can’t anymore)! My makjang Monday is coming, don’t worry. I just don’t know what story to tell 😳.

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        That was hardest part on writing this, choosing a story😂😭

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    Ah, the woes of the eldest child…
    You know what, after years of cleaning up after younger siblings and trying to be the dependable one, I realised that I was frustrated because I expected my family to thank me and appreciate me for it. People don’t realise what you do for them, sometimes those that are closest to you.
    Also, the motherly preference for sons is something I’ve witnessed too. Well, my grandma would swear she didn’t have favourites, and guess what, she sold her house when my grandfather died and gave the money to my good-for-nothing uncles. She’s free to do as she pleases, but *eye roll*

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      Yeah, not getting thanked is the least of it, but not being appreciated is what hurts me the most. Especially since I don’t go out a lot and they know the reasons why. Oh well, I’m trying to live better and that means letting things like this go. It’s hard though!

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        It’s so hard to let go. Especially when you feel like you’ve intentionally been “the responsible one”

        I work hard to be independent, to not be someone my parents worry about, and it’s hard to feel less appreciated than the others that constantly mess up or ask for help

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    As a girl with five brothers, I can understand this. And I assure you, it’s not just an older sibling thing. Four of those boys are my oppas, with the youngest being both the most considerate and most spoiled (being the ninth child must be strange)

    I’ve cleaned for them and cooked for them as long as I can remember, one of them even jokingly called me his little Cinderella sister growing up.

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      Anyways, being patronized as one of “the babies” while still being the one who cleans up after everyone is horribly infuriating.

      I sort of wish they would come to me with their problems, instead of telling me I’m too young and naive to understand… (I’m 25, by the by).

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        My dad calls me Cinderella. He is definitely the most chill out of my parents and can see how I’m teated, but he can’t do much about it either.
        You have it tough! I can barely handle one brother and one sister, but you have 8 siblings😮. My parents love making me do everything for them, yet they always tell me I know nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️ Can’t win I tell you!

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          Oh gosh, they used to seem like the weight of the world ~ as I’ve gotten older I’ve had to let go any notion that I am responsible for any of them, or that my decisions have an impact on their lives, which they don’t (there are too many of us for that). It’s humbling but it also means I live my life the way I want, even if they think it’s boring, and can enjoy the few times we are all together each year

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            I still live with mine and since I had to mature pretty quickly, it felt like I also helped in raising them so I definitely feel responsible for them as well. Thankfully, they are pretty good kids and now that they have graduated high school, I have learned to just let them be since I feel like my job is done, lol. They are more outgoing and spontaneous, so I am also the boring one haha.

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          Boring sister high five!

          I’m glad your siblings have grown up well, you’ve done a good job JellyBn!

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