I like being in control. If love means letting go, who is strong enough to pry my fingers open?
I like being able to see through people. Dare I even brag, but I enjoy anticipating people’s moves as if we were on a chessboard.
Men demand I play the demure woman, as if a Scarlett could ever become a Melanie! Ha!
They want a Helen of Troy, but I’m Cassandra.
I squirm out of the pigeon holes they try to place me in. I won’t play nice to cater to their egos. I won’t cover over their insecurities when they have failed. They ask me to respect them like men, when they make play at being a man, all the while avoiding bleeding like a real one. They chaff as I dictate the rules of engagement. They fear me. As they should. They resent me. But, it is not my problem they are weaker than I.
I thought you’d be just as easy to predict and control.
But, time and again you defy me. You don’t come when I call. But when I turn, suddenly you’re a breath away.
You throw me off balance. I hate that.
Your gentle gaze unnerves me.
Your soft sway disarms me.
Your words are quiet, but they have the roar of many waters behind them.
Your strength is like a blade of grass growing out of concrete.
And before I knew what I was doing, before I could stop myself, my fingers opened to you.
The day and moment when we finally meet someone whom we can truly let go in front of and be released and not have to worry about being in control in front of them is truly amazing and SO freeing 🤗🤗🤗
It can definitely feel like that, too!! 😅😅😅 Because control—knowing it and having it— gives a sense of security and knowing, but without it, we don’t know what or who to turn to and, yes, it can feel daunting and also as if the world may turn upside down.. But I assure you, dear friend, that everything will be okay 🥰🥰🥰
pineapplegongzhu
February 5, 2020 at 4:28 AM
Day 5: Bingley
I like being in control. If love means letting go, who is strong enough to pry my fingers open?
I like being able to see through people. Dare I even brag, but I enjoy anticipating people’s moves as if we were on a chessboard.
Men demand I play the demure woman, as if a Scarlett could ever become a Melanie! Ha!
They want a Helen of Troy, but I’m Cassandra.
I squirm out of the pigeon holes they try to place me in. I won’t play nice to cater to their egos. I won’t cover over their insecurities when they have failed. They ask me to respect them like men, when they make play at being a man, all the while avoiding bleeding like a real one. They chaff as I dictate the rules of engagement. They fear me. As they should. They resent me. But, it is not my problem they are weaker than I.
I thought you’d be just as easy to predict and control.
But, time and again you defy me. You don’t come when I call. But when I turn, suddenly you’re a breath away.
You throw me off balance. I hate that.
Your gentle gaze unnerves me.
Your soft sway disarms me.
Your words are quiet, but they have the roar of many waters behind them.
Your strength is like a blade of grass growing out of concrete.
And before I knew what I was doing, before I could stop myself, my fingers opened to you.
Love,
February
pineapplegongzhu
February 5, 2020 at 4:54 AM
@katakwasabi
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@bebeswtz
@msrabbit
@kat23
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@yuyuu
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@rukia
@pineapplegongzhu
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Bebe | Nessa❣️
February 5, 2020 at 5:03 AM
The day and moment when we finally meet someone whom we can truly let go in front of and be released and not have to worry about being in control in front of them is truly amazing and SO freeing 🤗🤗🤗
pineapplegongzhu
February 5, 2020 at 5:07 AM
@bebeswtz: I think you mean bewitching and frightening in equal measure…because that is what it feels like. 😱
Bebe | Nessa❣️
February 5, 2020 at 5:20 AM
It can definitely feel like that, too!! 😅😅😅 Because control—knowing it and having it— gives a sense of security and knowing, but without it, we don’t know what or who to turn to and, yes, it can feel daunting and also as if the world may turn upside down.. But I assure you, dear friend, that everything will be okay 🥰🥰🥰
Ally
February 5, 2020 at 5:12 AM
This is sooooooo good. The strength of a blade of grass growing out of concrete. Love this line! And good luck!😉
pineapplegongzhu
February 5, 2020 at 5:18 AM
@ally-le: Thanks…..I’m going to need all the luck I can get. 😅 I just need to convince him now that he is in love with me. 😱
mugyuljoie is preciousss
February 5, 2020 at 1:26 PM
You can do it (but maybe he already knows).