Beanie level: Loan shark with a heart of gold

Week ~

Weeks? I think I am unfamiliar with them now, as Iā€™m unfamiliar with so many different things.

But the things that have become familiar seem even more daunting – when did any of this become normal?

Iā€™d ask to start over, but that seems a fantasy, a little beyond our grasp to tackle ourselves.

Maybe we can start up? start… to the side.

Or maybe just.. continue, in the best way we can, but would you like a flower?

Cos Lord, Iā€™m tired, but more than that, I am tired of feeling tired.

And there is beauty to be found and grasped and held onto, ever so – ever more tightly.
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Calling all Christian Beans!

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I wrote a lot of things down in the past few days, trying to come up with the right combination of words that could properly convey how I felt.

And I came up short.

But still, I wanted to say something, so here I am talking about what I canā€™t do.

Oh, there are so many things I canā€™t do.

I canā€™t execute the turn, the spin, the leap that could express my feelings through movement.

I donā€™t have the proper experience that could be a service to the others I want to support.

I lack the assurance and clarity of mind I need to firmly leap into a decision that will shape my scholarly path.

I canā€™t express to him how much Iā€™d like to simply lie on a grassy hill in the dead of night and learn his hopes and dreams and insecurities – I must wait. (It would help if I wasnā€™t allergic to grass.)

My flimsy speeches are not enough to convince her that sheā€™ll be okay.

I canā€™t even make a dang cake without splitting the almond paste itā€™s enrobed in.

But thankfully, thatā€™s not what loveā€™s about.

Thank you, love, for taking my broken, messy thoughts and actions and life, and making them meaningful.

And thank you that the cake tasted delicious, anyways.

Love,
February

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Here you go, @dramafan90!

https://discord.gg/pBGSzE

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Hullo! @bluewaters20
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Week 48~

Small things that matter (ey!)
Little things that matter
Every one in a while Iā€™mma feel so fly
Thatā€™s ā€˜cause there are subtle things like

Kicking the leaves in the autumn breeze
Donā€™t forget about the sound they make
Doesnā€™t matter if the world is a cold place
ā€˜Cause Iā€™m getting cooler~

ahem

*sprinkles some good olā€™ whimsy into your week, along with a dash of silliness, and a generous helping of cozy*

*kicks the dang leaves with all of my might*

:ā€)
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Me : *ready to have a nice conversation with my close friend/crush*

Yeol Mu :

Me :

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To Sulli – Rest well, and peacefully. I\’m so sorry for what you endured, and that the world wasn\’t kinder to you. Thank you for how open you were with your struggles, and how firmly you stood for what you believed in.
Thank you.

And to all of you Beanies – Love. All of the love right now. Let\’s spread it without abandon.

You are cherished and always deserve to be heard, so please – if you ever feel like you need any kind of help or support, I hope you can always feel like you can ask for it. Always.

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    Dear beanie! Thank you for your kind words! It feels you have penned dow beautifully my thoughts that could not be converted to words. Thank you. I hope that Sulli rests peacefully.

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    Bam – no truer words were written. One thing about depression is that when it’s so deep and dark, it’s almost impossible to find your way out and lift your arm. That deep deep dark place is hard to get away from by yourself.

    So if any of you beanies know someone who is struggling, reach out to them and just be there to listen or give a hug – you can help just be being there. Your presence helps them know that they aren’t so alone.

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      Yes, yes yes to all of this.

      Itā€™s so true and sad and awful but there are things we can do to help each other and be supportive and present and aware, so letā€™s go.

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Oooh, it happened!! *happy dance* (How do I not know any drama examples of a loan shark with a heart of gold, anyways?)
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Thank you for bringing me back to dramaland, Tale of Nokdu. I already love you dearly.

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Week 47~

*kick* Ha! Broken devices canā€™t stop me for long.

Being broken canā€™t stop me for long.

I wept today, embarrassed that I couldnā€™t do this one, simple thing. Embarrassed that everyone was looking. That everyone could see what I was afraid of.

And then.. I stopped. Not slowly, not easily, but I did. And I tried through my tears, and screwed up what I wanted to do, but gosh dang it, I went for it.

And it was all good.

I think.. Iā€™ve noticed that we as people tend to, quite naturally, want to avoid uncomfortable situations. Those darn instinctual reactions that happen every time we do something. Sweating. Crying. Stressing. Anxiety. But.. if we can accept those reactions, rather than trying to suppress them, and keep going, itā€™s kinda cool to see how dang strong and capable we really are.

Because we are.

You nice. Keep going.

Have a wonderful week. 💛
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Week 46~

*realizes that Iā€™m posting something I meant to post last week, but itā€™s still a day before when I *should* post*

Iā€™m not late… Iā€™m just fashionably on time.

Thatā€™s a thing.

Strut your stuff, leap and live, and even if youā€™re late, off-beat, or completely lost your place… you can still stick that landing, yeah? (I have proof. I attempt a chassĆ©, end up falling over, and still [itā€™s a work in progress] grin and pose at the end.)

Pretend you meant to do that. Itā€™s just so much more fabulous that way. In the words of Donald Oā€™Connor… ā€œSlip on a banana peel, the worldā€™s at your feet!ā€

😂 (Or, my way of saying : Thank you for trying and keeping on, even when itā€™s hard, seems unfruitful, or feels embarrassing. I really appreciate it.)

Have a fantastic week.

(Song in lieu of pics this week, because mine didnā€™t turn out very well… and the lyrics are so appropriate:)

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Week 45~

Thereā€™s a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where Calvin looks up to the sky thatā€™s peppered with millions of stars, and yells,

ā€œIā€™m significant!ā€

ā€œScreamed the dust speck.ā€

And nope, Iā€™m not contesting the fact that weā€™re dust specks, because we are pretty darn tiny and finite in the grand scheme of things.

That being said, since when does that have an impact on our worth? Dust speck + significance -> hardly mutually exclusive.

I saw.. many sights this past week. Vast plains, mountain ranges, dunes that never seemed to end… and then at the very end, I saw a little, tiny red balloon floating in the bluest sky Iā€™d seen in a long time.

And with its tiny burst of color, that balloon made the view even more gorgeous than it was.

Youā€™re the balloon.

Thank you for existing, you make the world a better place for being in it.

Go dust specks!

Have a wonderful week!















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Week 44~

To quote my favorite Lin…

MY FRIEND LIKES YOU.

(That friend is me. I like you.)

*grabs my –

(It has just come to my attention that ā€œwandā€ is ā€œbaguette magiqueā€ and now Iā€™m grinning like a fool.)

*grabs my baguette and flicks it, untensing those shoulders, smoothing out that furrow between your brows, and soothing any aches or pains*

*hits stressors in the stomach*

Not today.

Have a fantastic week,
~ The Whimsy















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Week 43~

Brain.. not.. working.. used good words on a course..

*sleepy finger hearts as I shuffle off to bed*

Loveliest of thoughts for all of you, with warm food to keep you company. Thanks for existing, youā€™re a real keeper. <3

Have a splendid week!
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Week 42~

The answer to life, the universe, and everything week.

42, sure. But also, love.

And some words that put things better than I can, right now.

Have a splendid week!
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Week 41~

I wish you… a beautiful escape, to another world with dragons, chaebols, magic…. or maybe just one with quiet moments and a place to breathe in deeply, and soak up new scents and clean air.

*arms you with a book and a cup of something refreshing*

Have a good week~
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Week 40~

Best of wishes and love on this International Day Of Friends! 💖 Cā€™mere, I have a cozy spot on this picnic blanket for you, and a biiiig, fluffy olā€™ pancake that just begs to be shared.

Have a brilliant week!



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Week 39~

In case you havenā€™t had time to stop and smell the flowers and take in all the nature, or maybe donā€™t have them blooming around you right now… or maybe you have…

Well, you have a delivery!

Breathe it in deeply, and have a good week! šŸ¤—















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*ring ding dong*

A-yo, shoutout to @jaelegant! I want you to know that it doesn\’t take a sherlock to see that you\’re so amazing and beautiful, and I hope you have a fantastic day, full of chocolate, love, and good good feelings.

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