Beanie level: Loan shark with a heart of gold

There’s a Vincenzo size hole in my world right now. Everything is bleak now that there’s nothing to look forward to this week.

17
0

I had to pause episode one of Oh! Master after a certain scene because of post traumatic drama syndrome. But when I returned after stress cleaning the kitchen counters it was all good.

7
21

Me and dramas in 2021:

Watches 1 or 2 episodes.
Oh, that was quite enjoyable. I definitely like this one.
Never watches another minute.

This trend better not continue this week.

11
7

Today, I woke up missing people.

Some are gone forever. Some are far away. And some are slowly fading.

But when I reach for a bowl from the cupboard my fingers graze the leaded glass panel of the door. The colored squares and clear rectangles were soldered carefully in place by my father to my exact specifications. Tracing the lead lines, I recall sifting through his bins of glass to find just the right colors.

That’s when I realize I’m surrounded by the people I’m missing. Dad’s glass art is here on my kitchen cupboard and scattered throughout my house.

The birdhouse I see from my window was made grandpa. The soup I made last night came from the recipe card with grandma’s fine handwriting.

I’m wearing a scarf sewn by a sister. Another sister painted the portrait of my children that’s propped up on the bookcase. And yet another made the glass suncatcher hanging in the window.

Just last night I warded off a chill with the blanket crocheted by my mother. And this morning my feet are hugged by the socks knit by my daughter. I have enough for every day of the week. Jealous? You should be.

Over my desk hangs the quick sketches another daughter did for an art class. I stole them from her sketchbook. I steal her art a lot. She doesn’t mind. Much. I say it’s on loan, but if she becomes famous, I reserve the right to sell them. I might be teasing. Maybe.

The framed photos in my office show the buildings that caught another’s daughter eye as she wandered through Europe. I didn’t steal those, but I would have. She also gave me a small pottery dish she made, and I’m glad because it’s perfect for catching pocket detritus treasures.

I’m still missing people, but now I see they’re here. They’re here all around me. I just need to see them.

Love, February

34
11

Dear neighbor,

Your commitment to lighting the block with festive Christmas cheer is exemplary. The swags of red and green lights arching over and under the giant yellow stars make me smile in February. I really do think it’s a bit of charm and whimsy in these charmless times.

Love, February

P.S. can you not let your dog bark for in the front yard for 45 minutes every night? I really really don’t want to call the city, but it is very annoying and we do have a noise ordinance.

Crabby, All Year

Day 2

27
2

The screech is loud and shrill.

So is the laugh that follows.

The interruption makes me look up.

From the window, I see the tops of two heads wagging back and forth. One small with a pink puffy pom-pommed hat. The other is larger with grey thinning hair. There’s some arm flailing, and legs kicking, until finally they get up and walk on, the tiny girl pulling her grandpa to go faster, faster.

Later, when I walk to the mailbox, I see the imprints of two angels in the snow. One big. One small.

Love, February

29
4

I’m just here to inform you of the three best lead characters of 2020:

Nana as Goo Se-ra bringing sexy back

Into the Ring

Jung Yu-mi as Ahn Eun-young keeping the world safe one jelly at a time

School Nurse Files

And Bae Doona as Yeo-jin is just perfectly perfect.

Forest of Secrets 2

I’m not saying you have to watch these dramas to be my friend… well yes, I am saying that. Not that having me as a friend is an incentive. But well, why wouldn’t you want to watch the perfect political drama, the best fantasy adventure, and Bae Doona? Huh? Why?

And you know what none of these dramas has? Romantic angst and irritating and whiny second leads. So, go. Go watch.

(as always, gifs stolen from @mindy who needs to make more from these three dramas)

21
12

Hey Beanies,

Hi. How’ve you been?

I swung by this evening, and I see some angst on the wall.

Something called Brahms seems to be causing you some pain. I’m not sure what the issue is, but I do remember when I was a wee angsty black clad adolescent egads, I might have worn out a Brahms Concerto cassette tape by playing and rewinding it in an incessant rotation with my favorite Cure cassette tape in my handy Walkman. (Some of you might have to google that, but just know I’m old, and way back in the day we had to deal with flipping over the tape and making sure you had spare AA batteries on hand at all times. Kids these days with their fancy Spotify have no idea how difficult we had it.)

Anyways… want to counter the angsty Brahms brouhaha?

Might I suggest Into the Ring?

Just do it. You will thank me. I promise.

(gif courtesy of the amazingly talented gif maker @mindy)

24
12

    But sometimes we just want to make drama choices that make us sad. And then sit in our rooms alone and cry thinking about it. Seriously. This one is a downer.

    *Teenage depressed CS had a cassette tape that was the Cure on one side and Depeche Mode on the other side. I was tons of fun.

    3
    2

      First big non-local band concert: Depeche Mode

      I was also super fun.

      3
      0

      Oh you didn’t have Joni Mitchell on tape along with James Taylor? Oh and I had tons of tapes with Bonnie Raitt that I listened to endlessly.
      I just never understood Depeche Mode

      4
      1

        Oh, I cried plenty of nights to Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor, too. I was an equal opportunity depressive! Right now, I love a cover of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” that Bon Iver does. It’s beautifully heartbreaking. 🙂

        0
        0

    It’s much more depressing than Chocolate – so much so that I’ve thought about how much fun it would be if someone would just put anti-depressants in the water. I’ve hoped for a well timed ToD many times to bring some fun to my viewing experience. I’m waiting to finish this angst fest and then I’ll bring some joy back by finishing Into the Ring.

    4
    1

    BUT, but there’s no other “Into The Ring”. I am in a total slump after FoS.

    All I want is something as delightful as Into The Ring – but none around. It has set the bar too high now.

    3
    0

    “amazingly talented” You flatter me, egads.

    I’m the type of person who drops a drama as soon as it annoys me too much.

    You know what drama never annoyed me?

    Into the Ring~~~

    3
    0

Scene: Egads is watching FoS2 ep 13. Mr Egads is reading in his favorite chair.
Mr Egads: This looks good. Can you fill me in so I understand?
Me: Uhhh. (Thinks of 1.75 seasons of back story) Nope.

19
8

    My dad asks me to do this all the time when I’m already at the end of a show…

    3
    1

    Also, Mr Egads put some soup cans in the canned vegetable portion of the pantry, and I just quietly moved them to their proper home without saying a word. Someone nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize.

    Confession: If I lived alone, there’s a pretty good chance my pantry would be somewhat alphabetized. I realize this is too much for others so I suffer with the chaos of garbanzo beans and black beans just mingling willy nilly.

    14
    2

      You deserve one! My pantry is organised chaos but it drives me nuts when my lovely husband helpfully puts the jam away where the cans go or something.

      3
      0

      My trigger is soft plastic in the😡 recycling bin. 😡😡

      3
      1

    Impossible – make him work for his pleasure.

    3
    0

    Lol. I tried the same thing, its hard to explain why I’m biting my nails though, as I’m trying to explain about prosecutors vs. Police rights and who are the shady characters and why …
    Luckily he wasn’t around for previews of ep14, he’d never understand why I was having a meltdown because a character (Shi-mok) YELLED. Omgomgomg

    3
    0

Day 7: A book that made you laugh: Assasination Vacation

I’m a trivia nerd. I’m was that kid who read encyclopedias and almanacs for fun. (Why yes, I did have friends. Why do you ask?) If Helene Hanff (of 84 Charing Cross Road fame) is my chain smoking scriptwriter alter ego, then Sarah Vowell is my nerdy historical rabbit hole writer alter ego. No tangent is too weird or off track for Vowell, and my trivia loving soul adores her for it. Anyways, even if you don’t care a bit about the assassinations of American presidents, check this one out anyways, because no one, and I mean no one makes assassinations or weird historical coincidences quite as much fun as Vowell. I also recommend her book about those Puritans no one else wanted the Wordy Shipmates, and if you’re a big Hamilton fan, check out Lafayette in the Somewhat United States. Hmm, I should reread that one and picture Daveed Diggs, who is always worth picturing.

Side note: Vowell is the voice of Violet in The Incredibles, and the audio versions of her books are fantastic and studded with celebrity actors, personalities, and writers.

It’s been much too long since she’s released a book. I should probably send an angry email.



14
3

Day 6: A book that makes you sad: Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala

This is perhaps the most brutal and moving book about grief I have ever read. Deraniyagala’s family, her husband, her two sons, and her parents were all swept away and killed by the December 2004 tsunami across the shores of the Indian Ocean.

This is not an easy read, but it’s also not one you should shy away from. Deraniyagala reveals the black hole of her loss with stark clarity, made perhaps even more intense as we go along on her years long journey to finally return to their home in London, only to find the mundane, yet devastating, remains of their life before they went on holiday in Sri Lanka. Her prose is beautiful without being overwrought, though who would fault her for any overwroughtness to be honest. But I was struck at how she captured her state of mind in the initial minutes, hours, and days after the disaster with the structure of her writing, and then this continues as she and the grief keep on. There is an end to the book, but this is no novel, so there is no neatly tied up resolution and pithy comments on the processes of grief. This real, and like all real life, sometimes there is no real resolution or revelation, there is just remembering.

I almost picked this up to read again the other day, but in the midst of this pandemic, and with the recent loss of my father, just moving it from one shelf to another made me a bit teary. I’m not ready to revisit this one yet, but it’s waiting.

8
5

Day 5: A book that makes you happy:84 Charing Cross Road Here’s another book about books, or rather people who love books, and as an epistolary biographical story that is such a breezy quick read that is neither shallow nor trite, it hits a lot of my bookish happy notes. If you’re like me, you’ll wish you could also strike up a friendship with a bookshop in London, so you can send snappy letters berating them for not finding and fulfilling your esoteric literary needs quite fast enough. And yes, when I went to London I had to make a pilgrimage, and well, finding a McDonald’s there was a bit of a letdown. Anyways, this charming book is worth a look, but do also watch the film version. Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins are perfect.

But seriously, it took me all day to figure which one book to write about here because, well, books in general make me happy.

12
5

    Hmmm, now I really want to become penpals with a London bookshop. It seems like a pandemic friendly dream.

    1
    0

    Oh, this sounds interesting – I’m adding it to my reading list. I adore an epistolary novel.

    I feel you on how hard it was to choose a book for this one. You should see the document I wrote my posts in – it’s a mess of books. I’m trying not to repeat much, so there will be a lot of digging into my nostalgic faves over the next month. I half wish I were at my mother’s house so I have access to the majority of my library to refresh my memories.

    1
    1

    I haven’t read this, I’ll have to look out for it because it sounds like something I’d enjoy.

    I had heaps of trouble deciding as well – in the end I’m saving some of the other ideas I had for later categories so as not to repeat myself 😊

    1
    0

I’m catching up to isa’s book challenge. Will I stick with it? Well, we’ll see. Or I might bring it over to my own dusty blogsite. Anyways @isthatacorner, here’s your tag.

Day 1: Best book I read last year: Last year, I read far far less than I normally do, but Dreyer’s English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style hit my nerdy language loving, books about books loving, chatty footnote loving reading bone early in the year. So much so that I wrote about it here https://www.dramabeans.com/members/egads/activity/717026/
Yes, it’s a book about grammar and such, but it’s a fun book about grammar and such. Trust me.

Day 2: A book that you’ve read more than 3 times: I’m a re-reader. If I like a story, and it hits my reader spot just right, chances are I’ll give it another go. So, how to choose just one? I guess I’ll choose the one I last re-read: The Blue Castle. If you want my in depth thoughts on it, well, I wrote about it here https://www.dramabeans.com/members/egads/activity/793069/

Day 3: Your favorite series: Again, with the favorites, Well, since I’ve got LM Montgomery on the mind, I guess I could say Anne of Green Gables. But there’s also the Little House on the Prairie books, Dana Stabenow’s Kate Shugak mystery series, Ursula LeGuin’s Earthsea series, the Harry the Dirty Dog picture books, Harry Potter (even though the author has all but ruined it for me). You see my problem here. How do you choose just one?

Day 4: Favorite book of your favorite series: Anne of Green Gables would have to be the favorite of this series. Though that doesn’t mean I don’t also love most of all the books that followed. Someday, when the pandemic is over, and Canada once again will allow me across the border, I will be going to Prince Edward Island. I’ve got some places to stay picked out and everything. Also, Anne is great, Gilbert totally deserved to have that slate broken over his noggin, and this series definitely was and is a bosom friend.

13
4

    Ohhh so many good reads! I read THE BLUE CASTLE thanks to your post a year ago, and really enjoyed it.

    I still get immense satisfaction watching Anne break that slate over Gilbert’s head for calling her “carrots”. I loved Anne of Avonlea too, and the last book in the series (Rilla of Ingleside) broke my hearteu.

    6
    0

    So many good books! I very nearly chose Anne of Green Gables for my favourite series – I’ve read them about a million times and they still make me cry in the sad bits. And Harry the Dirty Dog! We LOVE Harry round here.

    2
    0

    Oohh The Blue Castle! I’ve only read it once, but I really enjoyed it.

    I, of course, also have a deep love for the Anne of Green Gables series. I have fond memories of my mom reading them to me as a kid and then reading them on my own when I was older. Prince Edward Island has been on my destinations list for a long time although I’m almost scared to go there for fear it won’t live up to L.M. Montgomery’s descriptions.

    2
    0

    Anne Of Green Gables as one of the first books which made me laugh out loud and I will always love it for this

    1
    0

January 2020, when @leetennant and I got dark and didn’t have a clue how very very prescient we were.



17
6

    Omg…

    3
    0

    *shivers*

    4
    0

    Fast forward 6 months…. The darkness within us only intensified over the period.

    6
    0

    I was looking at my Instagram and my post from January 8 is literally “It’s only been 8 days and already 2020 has been a RIDE” and now I laugh and laugh and laugh (until I cry) at how young and naive I was. Ah, youthful folly.

    7
    0

    I was searching for something in an old text and saw that I texted “Everything You Need to Know About Coronavirus “ on January 22nd. 🤦🏼‍♀️
    How innocent we were.

    2
    0

    Yikes!!!! Please write something better for 2021 okay?

    2
    0

*whispers* Is the video thingy gone for everyone? Is it gone for good? Can I celebrate its demise?

17
9

    The darn thing is no longer showing up.. maybe?

    3
    0

    Oh, it’s gone for me, too. I honestly hardly noticed it anymore.

    I didn’t mind it much, aside from a few bad MV choices of problematic artists. The site is obviously still not getting enough revenue even with people being able to directly donate, so I am willing to welcome something mildly irritating if it keeps the site online.

    Also, it wasn’t present on the fan wall, which is where I spend most of my time.

    9
    0

    I just got back and omg yes!!

    1
    0

    I hope they took it down for good…
    I thought it was cool at first but it was getting annoying. I’m pretty sure beanies know where to go if they want to see/listen to Kpop.

    5
    0

    Huh it was really annoying but now it’s gone and I didn’t even notice 😅 You get used to anything. I need to work out how to donate because I’d be sorry to see this site disappear.

    3
    0

    Oh my, I didn’t even notice it was gone until I read this.
    ***I’ll celebrate quietly with you……***

    1
    0

    🤣😄

    0
    0

    It seems so! Yesterday it was a black screen all day long and today it seems to be gone for good.

    1
    1

I think this kdrama home is going in my top five. It’s good to see Shin Dong Wook in it too, despite the fact that there is something skeevy about his character in My Unfamiliar Family.



12
8

I haven’t been here much lately, so I’m not sure what this 30 day drama challenge is about. But I when I see the words “Best Male Lead” and don’t see this man:

I give all of you a stern glare.

22
5

I\’m struggling to watch new dramas, and you know, that\’s okay. I wrote a little bit about it here: https://booksandbeans.org/2020/03/23/rewatch-reread-relax/

10
4

    Thanks for sharing, egads! That’s so spot on! I started watching and really liked many currently airing dramas but found myself unable to continue on, and it’s more me than them. This week, I’m finding comfort in re-reading old favorite fanfics from Sherlock and ofc, the Untamed.

    3
    0

    Thank you. This is perfect.

    1
    0

    I was about to leave a comment underneath, and then I remembered I accidentally deleted my account, so:

    You summarised me beautifully, Egads. I’m one of those people who just never grew out of watching films on repeat. When I’m stressed, I retreat to my favourite dramas. Right now, Gokusen. When I’m in a slump with my reading, I’ll go back to my favourite book. Right now, If We Were Villains. At heart, I’m a joy chaser, and that can be seriously useful in times like this.

    2
    0

    I’m having problems with my account so I dont know if I actually sent my comment so I’ll put it here just in case.

    Yes! I’m so guilty of this. I rewatch Six Flying Dragons every year since it ended (sometimes more than once). My other go to rewatches are: Deep Rooted Tree, A Poem A Day, and Reply 1997. Super Junior shows are also on repeat. I feel like a big portion of Choding Junior video views on youtube is mine.

    Interestingly though, I am watching four airing dramas right now (after being on a long drama slump). I am not stuck at home though so maybe it will be different once they close down child care centres.

    Sigh. I wish I can go back to reading books. My attention span is just too short now, I can’t sit down and read a book. 😦 But for re-reads, one book that stands out for me is The Little Prince. It’s differenrlt every time I read it. I first read it when I was younger and thought the adults in the book are so awful and I felt more for the Little Prince. However, reading it again in College, I was more on the fence. Then reading it a few years ago, I felt more for the adults because I’m living their lives now. There’s always something new we pick up when we re-read or re-watch so I say just do you!

    P.S. Children are exactly what you described. I’d go to the library to get them books every week but they made me read one book all the time. I had to extend the borrowing period for it twice! It’s not even in English!

    3
    0

After months of talking about it, I finally pressed publish on something on that book blog I\’ve been procrastinating starting. It’s bare bones. I don’t really have a plan right now. But let’s talk about books, but it seems I don’t have anything to say about dramas lately and I sort of miss talking to many of you. So, here’s the link, and remember don’t be a troll. https://booksandbeans.org/

27
5

Discord is down. My friends are all discord beanies, so now I\’m truly isolated.

5
2