This is a throwback Love, February from 2019. I’d thought I’d share it again because there’s this sportsball something happening today and it reminded me of one of my greatest social missteps.

I’ve enjoyed everyone’s posts this year, and maybe next year I’ll have the words to play along. But in the meantime, enjoy this epic love story again.

A True Story
The manager hired a handsome boy. We sold men’s clothing, from casual to formal, and his off-season minor league baseball form was sleek in that suit. “Good marketing,” said the manager. The both of us were shy. I tried to hide my red face while I marked up the suit for the tailor. His athletic frame did not have the soft waist of suburban dad customer, and the handsome boy’s neck was pink when I reached up to adjust the jacket shoulders.

For weeks we barely spoke. Just furtive looks and sometimes catching eyes in a mirror. Folding a table of shirts from opposite ends to meet in the middle, or accidentally brushing together in the tight space behind the cash register. Glances, smiles, stuttered questions, switched shifts (oh everyone knew, watched, conspired).

End of the day. Everything folded, straightened, tidied, counted, put away. Our coats were on, and he adjusted his gloves only to pull them off again. We stopped just outside the storefront. Twisting his gloves, he asked, “Would you… ”

I looked up. He was so tall. The mall lights were dimming, and only the echo of workers eager to go home lingered after a busy day. The pause went on forever. My hands clenched hard around the strap of my bag, but I wanted to reach up and push that fall of hair from his eyes. Then I heard him exhale. “Would you like to go to a Super Bowl party with me?”

“Can I bring a book?” The gate fell with clang.

The End
Love, February

Random whining today about the state (or lack) of my drama watching led to a particular wish to be able to watch Because This Life is Our First for the first time again. So, because that particular wish can’t come true without some very real and probably horrendous brain damage in the process, I will have to make do with yet another rewatch.

Now, I have been randomly rewatching favorite scenes over the last week for, well, reasons that don’t need to be brought up here and now. But when @mindy reminded me that today is THE 4TH ANNIVERSARY, I just had to press play on episode one.

Do you know that this is an excellent episode one. We have in depth character set up. We get a thorough base for the main plotline and even some secondary storylines. And it’s taut, it’s well paced, and not a moment is wasted or skimmed over. I loved it the first time I watched it, but now I really really appreciate how well written and directed the beginning of this drama is.

Not to mention, Ji-ho and Se-hee have the best meet cute. Seriously. It’s not super contrived. There is no weird power imbalance. There’s no TOD. No one falls into a kiss. It’s two people (albeit roomies even if they don’t know it) coming together over a shared interest.

Maybe I don’t need to watch this for the first time again because maybe this watch will be just as good as a first.

I had to pause episode one of Oh! Master after a certain scene because of post traumatic drama syndrome. But when I returned after stress cleaning the kitchen counters it was all good.

Me and dramas in 2021:

Watches 1 or 2 episodes.
Oh, that was quite enjoyable. I definitely like this one.
Never watches another minute.

This trend better not continue this week.

Today, I woke up missing people.

Some are gone forever. Some are far away. And some are slowly fading.

But when I reach for a bowl from the cupboard my fingers graze the leaded glass panel of the door. The colored squares and clear rectangles were soldered carefully in place by my father to my exact specifications. Tracing the lead lines, I recall sifting through his bins of glass to find just the right colors.

That’s when I realize I’m surrounded by the people I’m missing. Dad’s glass art is here on my kitchen cupboard and scattered throughout my house.

The birdhouse I see from my window was made grandpa. The soup I made last night came from the recipe card with grandma’s fine handwriting.

I’m wearing a scarf sewn by a sister. Another sister painted the portrait of my children that’s propped up on the bookcase. And yet another made the glass suncatcher hanging in the window.

Just last night I warded off a chill with the blanket crocheted by my mother. And this morning my feet are hugged by the socks knit by my daughter. I have enough for every day of the week. Jealous? You should be.

Over my desk hangs the quick sketches another daughter did for an art class. I stole them from her sketchbook. I steal her art a lot. She doesn’t mind. Much. I say it’s on loan, but if she becomes famous, I reserve the right to sell them. I might be teasing. Maybe.

The framed photos in my office show the buildings that caught another’s daughter eye as she wandered through Europe. I didn’t steal those, but I would have. She also gave me a small pottery dish she made, and I’m glad because it’s perfect for catching pocket detritus treasures.

I’m still missing people, but now I see they’re here. They’re here all around me. I just need to see them.

Love, February

Dear neighbor,

Your commitment to lighting the block with festive Christmas cheer is exemplary. The swags of red and green lights arching over and under the giant yellow stars make me smile in February. I really do think it’s a bit of charm and whimsy in these charmless times.

Love, February

P.S. can you not let your dog bark for in the front yard for 45 minutes every night? I really really don’t want to call the city, but it is very annoying and we do have a noise ordinance.

Crabby, All Year

Day 2

The screech is loud and shrill.

So is the laugh that follows.

The interruption makes me look up.

From the window, I see the tops of two heads wagging back and forth. One small with a pink puffy pom-pommed hat. The other is larger with grey thinning hair. There’s some arm flailing, and legs kicking, until finally they get up and walk on, the tiny girl pulling her grandpa to go faster, faster.

Later, when I walk to the mailbox, I see the imprints of two angels in the snow. One big. One small.

Love, February

I’m just here to inform you of the three best lead characters of 2020:

Nana as Goo Se-ra bringing sexy back

Into the Ring

Jung Yu-mi as Ahn Eun-young keeping the world safe one jelly at a time

School Nurse Files

And Bae Doona as Yeo-jin is just perfectly perfect.

Forest of Secrets 2

I’m not saying you have to watch these dramas to be my friend… well yes, I am saying that. Not that having me as a friend is an incentive. But well, why wouldn’t you want to watch the perfect political drama, the best fantasy adventure, and Bae Doona? Huh? Why?

And you know what none of these dramas has? Romantic angst and irritating and whiny second leads. So, go. Go watch.

(as always, gifs stolen from @mindy who needs to make more from these three dramas)

Hey Beanies,

Hi. How’ve you been?

I swung by this evening, and I see some angst on the wall.

Something called Brahms seems to be causing you some pain. I’m not sure what the issue is, but I do remember when I was a wee angsty black clad adolescent egads, I might have worn out a Brahms Concerto cassette tape by playing and rewinding it in an incessant rotation with my favorite Cure cassette tape in my handy Walkman. (Some of you might have to google that, but just know I’m old, and way back in the day we had to deal with flipping over the tape and making sure you had spare AA batteries on hand at all times. Kids these days with their fancy Spotify have no idea how difficult we had it.)

Anyways… want to counter the angsty Brahms brouhaha?

Might I suggest Into the Ring?

Just do it. You will thank me. I promise.

(gif courtesy of the amazingly talented gif maker @mindy)

Scene: Egads is watching FoS2 ep 13. Mr Egads is reading in his favorite chair.
Mr Egads: This looks good. Can you fill me in so I understand?
Me: Uhhh. (Thinks of 1.75 seasons of back story) Nope.

Day 7: A book that made you laugh: Assasination Vacation

I’m a trivia nerd. I’m was that kid who read encyclopedias and almanacs for fun. (Why yes, I did have friends. Why do you ask?) If Helene Hanff (of 84 Charing Cross Road fame) is my chain smoking scriptwriter alter ego, then Sarah Vowell is my nerdy historical rabbit hole writer alter ego. No tangent is too weird or off track for Vowell, and my trivia loving soul adores her for it. Anyways, even if you don’t care a bit about the assassinations of American presidents, check this one out anyways, because no one, and I mean no one makes assassinations or weird historical coincidences quite as much fun as Vowell. I also recommend her book about those Puritans no one else wanted the Wordy Shipmates, and if you’re a big Hamilton fan, check out Lafayette in the Somewhat United States. Hmm, I should reread that one and picture Daveed Diggs, who is always worth picturing.

Side note: Vowell is the voice of Violet in The Incredibles, and the audio versions of her books are fantastic and studded with celebrity actors, personalities, and writers.

It’s been much too long since she’s released a book. I should probably send an angry email.

Day 6: A book that makes you sad: Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala

This is perhaps the most brutal and moving book about grief I have ever read. Deraniyagala’s family, her husband, her two sons, and her parents were all swept away and killed by the December 2004 tsunami across the shores of the Indian Ocean.

This is not an easy read, but it’s also not one you should shy away from. Deraniyagala reveals the black hole of her loss with stark clarity, made perhaps even more intense as we go along on her years long journey to finally return to their home in London, only to find the mundane, yet devastating, remains of their life before they went on holiday in Sri Lanka. Her prose is beautiful without being overwrought, though who would fault her for any overwroughtness to be honest. But I was struck at how she captured her state of mind in the initial minutes, hours, and days after the disaster with the structure of her writing, and then this continues as she and the grief keep on. There is an end to the book, but this is no novel, so there is no neatly tied up resolution and pithy comments on the processes of grief. This real, and like all real life, sometimes there is no real resolution or revelation, there is just remembering.

I almost picked this up to read again the other day, but in the midst of this pandemic, and with the recent loss of my father, just moving it from one shelf to another made me a bit teary. I’m not ready to revisit this one yet, but it’s waiting.

Day 5: A book that makes you happy:84 Charing Cross Road Here’s another book about books, or rather people who love books, and as an epistolary biographical story that is such a breezy quick read that is neither shallow nor trite, it hits a lot of my bookish happy notes. If you’re like me, you’ll wish you could also strike up a friendship with a bookshop in London, so you can send snappy letters berating them for not finding and fulfilling your esoteric literary needs quite fast enough. And yes, when I went to London I had to make a pilgrimage, and well, finding a McDonald’s there was a bit of a letdown. Anyways, this charming book is worth a look, but do also watch the film version. Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins are perfect.

But seriously, it took me all day to figure which one book to write about here because, well, books in general make me happy.

I’m catching up to isa’s book challenge. Will I stick with it? Well, we’ll see. Or I might bring it over to my own dusty blogsite. Anyways @isthatacorner, here’s your tag.

Day 1: Best book I read last year: Last year, I read far far less than I normally do, but Dreyer’s English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style hit my nerdy language loving, books about books loving, chatty footnote loving reading bone early in the year. So much so that I wrote about it here https://www.dramabeans.com/members/egads/activity/717026/
Yes, it’s a book about grammar and such, but it’s a fun book about grammar and such. Trust me.

Day 2: A book that you’ve read more than 3 times: I’m a re-reader. If I like a story, and it hits my reader spot just right, chances are I’ll give it another go. So, how to choose just one? I guess I’ll choose the one I last re-read: The Blue Castle. If you want my in depth thoughts on it, well, I wrote about it here https://www.dramabeans.com/members/egads/activity/793069/

Day 3: Your favorite series: Again, with the favorites, Well, since I’ve got LM Montgomery on the mind, I guess I could say Anne of Green Gables. But there’s also the Little House on the Prairie books, Dana Stabenow’s Kate Shugak mystery series, Ursula LeGuin’s Earthsea series, the Harry the Dirty Dog picture books, Harry Potter (even though the author has all but ruined it for me). You see my problem here. How do you choose just one?

Day 4: Favorite book of your favorite series: Anne of Green Gables would have to be the favorite of this series. Though that doesn’t mean I don’t also love most of all the books that followed. Someday, when the pandemic is over, and Canada once again will allow me across the border, I will be going to Prince Edward Island. I’ve got some places to stay picked out and everything. Also, Anne is great, Gilbert totally deserved to have that slate broken over his noggin, and this series definitely was and is a bosom friend.

January 2020, when @leetennant and I got dark and didn’t have a clue how very very prescient we were.

*whispers* Is the video thingy gone for everyone? Is it gone for good? Can I celebrate its demise?

I think this kdrama home is going in my top five. It’s good to see Shin Dong Wook in it too, despite the fact that there is something skeevy about his character in My Unfamiliar Family.

I haven’t been here much lately, so I’m not sure what this 30 day drama challenge is about. But I when I see the words “Best Male Lead” and don’t see this man:

I give all of you a stern glare.

I\’m struggling to watch new dramas, and you know, that\’s okay. I wrote a little bit about it here: https://booksandbeans.org/2020/03/23/rewatch-reread-relax/