Love, February 4th, 2021


    I told myself I’m only allowed to talk about him so many times this Love, February ~ but I’m tired and his hugs have become one of my favorite things.

    When we first met, he wasn’t much for hugs. Physical affection is low on his list of love languages, and he’d much rather go buy someone food or help with their taxes than give an awkward embrace.

    I thought I wasn’t much for physical closeness too, I said when we met. Quality time and good talks are what I love most.

    But then, slowly, then quickly, he became like family to me. A comfort spot, one of the few people outside my mom and sister that I will wear sweat pants and hoodies around. When that happened, what my mom calls my “leaning” started. Where, if I’m next to my loved one, I lean on them, relaxing and relying on them to hold me up.

    My mom and sister HATE when I do that. You’re an adult, or so they tell me, you can’t put all your weight on us anymore.

    Pie Guy didn’t know what to do with me. I catfished him into thinking he was dating an independent adult, then became a clinging girlfriend, constantly holding his hand, leaning, back hugging, etc.

    Somehow our relationship has survived the disconnect between our love languages. I let him do things for me, control is something I hate to relinquish but I know he feels fulfilled when he has a task to make me happy. And he makes sure he holds my hand and stands close enough for me to lean.

    Love, February