“Hey Sic…”
“Isn’t it like… way past D-Day now?
Weren’t you ever gonna update us on that?
Write a big flowery queenly speech on it?”

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Royal Crier of Melonia:
Harken to the Queen of Melonia!!!
*everyone bows*

Greetings, fairest subjects and travelers from afar.
I am sure you have all been very worried about me due to my unprecedented radio silence; Fear not, I am alive. Mostly. I think.
*what’s that Royal Adviser? I am alive? Oh good to know*

A week thence Her Royal Highness, Sicarius The Queen of Melonia traveled to the far fiefdom of Wellington to visit the fair Lady @babybeast and to taste the ever elusive and haunting Coconut Melona.

Day One:
HRH watched Vagabond on the plane and tried not to laugh too hard at the stupidity of the show, so as not to scare the gentleman next to her.
The Fair Lady BabyBeast met HRH at none other than the Subway of Wellington Airport, as is the tradition in the Continent of Drama and Beans.
Alas Day One produced no Coconut Melonas, as Her Majesty got distracted buying books. Due to a tight national budget, she was only able to buy four books, as opposed to her favoured seven, or the extravagant ten. Nonetheless she is very happy with her purchases:
– An Encyclopedic Dictionary of Language and Languages, David Crystal
– Linguistics, David Crystal
– Folk Tales of Old Korea, Yonsei University Press
– Specimens of English Literature A.D. 1394- 1579, Skeat
The Lady BabyBeast did however take Her Majesty out for the next best thing: Gelato, where aptly coconut and passionfruit gelato was consumed.

Day Two:
HRH slept ghastly so did not rise early, and still woke up with a headache. Once she arose herself however, she walked to the Fair Lady BabyBeast’s small castle.
It was here, that for Second Breakfast, as is the tradition of Middle Earth and Melonia, that the Lady and her Queen finally sampled the Famous Coconut Melona.
The Queen’s Review:
The Coconut Melona was better than I had ever dreamed or hoped for. Rich but light. Creamy but coconutty. Smooth and enticing. Gentle at first but then afterwards it is like a small firework of coconutty stars has exploded on the tastebuds.
Whilst the Original Honey Dew is still preferred, mostly due to having traditional tastes, the Coconut Melona was worth the four hauntings and the two year wait, as it is a close, an impeccably close second.

After consuming the final flavour of the Nectar of the Gods, the Lady and her Queen watched two episodes of Sassy Go Go (Episode 10 and 11) and unanimously decided that everyone should watch said show because it will probably make you a better person.
The Lady and her Queen then departed the Lady’s Castle to find lunch (Singaporean), and then climbed a hill at the expense of the Queen’s knees. But they had fun so it was fine.
They then stumbled down the hill, the Lady shook her head at her Queen’s barefoot habits, and after a brief excursion through the Museum’s Colour Exhibition had Chicken and Waffles for dinner before speed walking to the Asian Store in order to buy Banana Milk and Coconut Melonas, for the Queen to take back home.

To finish this long, tiring but wonderful day, the Lady and her Queen visited the Lady’s Church Community Group where they had a grand ol’ time.

Day Three:
The Queen made the Lady BabyBeast get up earlier than she usually does in order to take her out for breakfast before having to say goodbye.
The Lady did manage to make it without being too late 😉
After another art exhibition that was more science and law than art, the Fair Lady BabyBeast dropped Her Majesty off at the bus station to take to the airport, and they parted ways tearfully, not knowing when they would next meet (jk there were no tears she had to leave cos she’d miss lunch otherwise).
Unbeknownst to the Fair Lady, the Queen actually took an Uber to the Airport with another Fair Lady she met at the bus station, because otherwise the other lady was going to miss her flight.
The lady was a blessing in disguise to Her Majesty, paying for her Uber fare and telling her to Pay It Forward. Her Majesty hopes she can pay this favour forward one day out of gratitude to this unknown lady, who is currently, as far as we know, not a subject of Melonia.

Her Majesty watched Healer on the plane home because why watch shitty shows when Healer exists.

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On this note, Her Majesty has watched nothing but Healer and Ten Things I Hate about You for the last week, is behind on Nokdu, on Extraordinary You, and on her Vagabond Shitposts and her EY Essay but kinda doesn’t care, sorry.
If you get anything out of her for the next week, count it as a nice surprise.

And if you haven’t had Melona of any kind yet, this is a quick reminder that they’re the best stick ice cream in existence.

P.S. The Coconut Melona didn’t quite melt on the trip home. We had a chilly bag and ice bricks and they only got a bit soft 🙂

MISSION : COCONUT MELONA SUCCESS. Her Royal Highness Sicarius Queen of Melonia IS now the undisputed bearer of that title and will not tolerate any revolutions, rebellions or attempted coups.