Hey Beanies!
Happy February! I’m not a poet or as good a writer as all the other missives – but I’m enjoying them a LOT!

However I need to vent for a little bit and I hope you will put up with me. (I’ll add some new flower photos to help make up for this long rant)

Anyway – remember that new fabulous job I started in January that was going to be better pay with better benefits? Well, yes the pay is better – but I got sold a bill of goods from the company that actually hired me to work as a contractor for this new company.

Long story short – I went up in pay but as a contractor have very little in the way of benefits. I don’t even get any paid holidays or vacation – which I thought I did. And the new company is nice – but the drive has been rough on my 20 year old car and it died last weekend. I had it towed to the shop and they replaced the ignition switch to the tune of over 400$$$$ – which I didn’t have. Then I lost 2 days of work without pay (because I’m a contractor).
However with 4 days at home without a car I spent a lot of time playing with my camera and some flowers I brought home.

The drive isn’t bad, but when the weather isn’t good as in raining hard – the drive on the freeway is VERY tense. No amount of kpop on my phone helps…

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night in a rage about this situation as I feel like I went back to my life 5 years ago…
The company sent an email asking for my feedback on them – and boy did they get it. I told them that either the recruiter lied to me or they didn’t train her well OR it was their intent.

I just need to get through this month to get back on my feet, but I’m not sure if I should contact my previous employer and go back to where I was.
The new company likes me and what I’m doing but they are in a hiring freeze – even though my boss said she sees this as a permanent position. yeah, well…..
And no matter how nice they are, the contractors aren’t even on the company-wide distribution list. Who does that?

Anyway – I don’t know if I should say something to my boss at this company and tell her that maybe they should start looking for another writer – or wait to see how my contracting company responds to my missive.

I feel stuck and angry and broke….. and it pisses me off. Apparently the job that sounded too good to be true – was just that – too good to be true.

Trying to find my big-girl panties when I drive down the freeway in the driving rain amidst all the semis and crazy drivers is turning out to be very hard.
So I’m not a big faith person – but I’m struggling.
Thanks for the lovely poems on love for February!!!!! You beanies are the BEST!
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    I hope that you are able to negotiate a better deal for yourself, or that this opens a new door that is everything it needs to be so that you can put this behind you.
    Your photos are wonderful. Wow!
    I send you all the love, stpauligurl.
    💕

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      Thank you @rukia – the past couple of weeks have been hard – but I’m trying hard to make it into a good experience.
      Today I’m going to my brother’s house to watch the Superbowl, and stay with him until Tuesday. It will be nice not to put all those miles on my car. And I get to see him!
      I was thrilled with how the photos turned out! it was all natural light from a skylight and a black background..

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        So gorgeous!
        I am so glad that you are going to be with your brother today and for a few days. I hope that you are spoiled.
        Your photos are really beautiful. I am in awe.!
        Sends more love.. 💕

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          He spoils me with love, good food, alcohol, conversation, and total NON-judgement!!! He’s a good older brother.

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    What gorgeous photos! I am so sorry that you are having this experience at work. I will pray for encouragement, and a better situation.

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      Thank you! Yes we all had such high hopes it would be better. My old boss said that everyone was so sad to see me go and are also upset at how it turned out.
      But hey – I’ll take all the encouragement (and prayers) I can get!

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    Awww.. sorry to hear of your situation. ☹ From the sound of it, this doesn’t seem to be sustainable for the long run. A hard decision to make. I am a believer of faith and believe that if all doors seem to be closed, God will open a window somewhere.

    And those pictures are gorgeous! Thank you for sharing.

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    thank you for those beautiful flowers 😀
    hoping that your situation will get better and bloom like them , having these current struggles as black curtain in the past background for making you shine even more <3
    hwaiting <3

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    Beautiful photos, thanks for sharing.

    I hope your situation gets better, that you can make a better deal. At least, make this job an opportunity to get another one with better conditions.

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      Thanks – I try to take something from each situation as “yes I want to keep doing that” or “NOPE been there done that and don’t want to do it ever again.” If I can’t learn from each experience I have, then what’s the point?

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    Tbh, at first I was confused to see all these “Love, February” posts and felt kinda stupid to for not knowing what was going on but when I read Beanies’ posts one by one I felt a lot closer to them! Those letters made me think about my life, my current situation, my family.. the things I’m thankful for and the ones I need to fix.
    I think I still don’t know the real concept of this beautiful wave but I’m happy that I’m here to read them.
    Thank you for sharing. Nothing is more terrifying than feeling like there has been no progress but nobody knows about tomorrow! I wish you better days dear💜
    And god! Those pictures!
    That tulip stole my heart♥️

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    I’m sorry to hear about what’s happening with work. I hope they they take your feedback to heart but if they’re unable to change anything maybe this is just a short detour while a much better job opens up. Thank you for sharing your photos too, these are beautiful 😊

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    I’m sorry about your work situation. I hope that whatever decision you make leads you to a place where you can bloom and thrive the most.

    Those photos are absolutely beautiful 😍. Thank you.

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    The photos are gorgeous!

    About the too good to be true employer, I’m outraged on your behalf! If you consider the time to work and back, plus the costs in gas and wear and tear on your car, is it worth the increase in pay? Is anyone there willing to put the opportunity for future full time employment in writing? I hope what ever you decide, it works out in your favor.

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      Thanks for the compliment – in all honesty, I’m not sure the extra $$ is worth the stress right now. But the folks at my old job know and I might reach out to my recruiter where I worked before. They all told me I could come back any time. sigh…….

      I forgot to say that I saw two bald eagles flying overhead this week while on my commute. that was pretty darned cool!
      does that make me easily entertained?

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    Beautiful photos !

    Hope the work situation will get better soon, whether you find another job or go back to the previous one. Hang in there until then! I’m crossing fingers and toes for you.

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