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[Escapism vs. Realism] From Cinderella to the girl who looks a lot like me


Boys Before Flowers

By @yellowlemonfairy

My first induction into the K-drama world was like many others at my age—through Dae Jang Geum (Jewel in the Palace). I remember watching my grandma religiously follow the series every day and my aunts crowding around our boxy TV screen. One aunt had her eyes glued to the TV 24/7 until her DVD player started smoking up. Back then, I simply couldn’t fathom why they were so obsessed with a bunch of court ladies with fake wigs. The kitchen eventually closed and when my grandma’s tears had dried up, she moved on to soap operas from Taiwan and Korean dramas never really came into my life for a period of time.

Then Boys Before Flowers arrived.

Like all the other pre-teen girls, I became obsessed with the drama, thus beginning my endless drama journey. At that tender age, the whims and fancies of a chaebol and how he hopelessly pursued the modern-day Cinderella was like a fairytale come alive. As much as Gu Jun-pyo was a class A jerk, there was something so addictive about the storyline that drew me in. It felt like I was seeing the world through Jan-di’s eyes and experiencing how Cinderella might have felt. Knights in their shining armor riding their glorious white horses coming to save the day was my fantasy and I relished that feeling.


Heirs

Fast-forward a few years when Heirs came along. Having thoroughly enjoyed Boys Before Flowers, I thought hey, there’s Lee Min-ho, it’s a poor-girl-rich-dude storyline, what is there to say no to? Boy was I wrong. There was just something missing, that special spark that I was looking for. The usual drama tropes that used to enchant me just didn’t work anymore. I went through numerous dramas, yet nothing truly felt right. Sure, they helped me pass the time, but I never felt fully invested in the characters and the storylines were pretty much just rinse and repeat, hand-grabbing and all that jazz. Past a certain point, the eye candy wasn’t working its magic anymore and I yearned for something beyond the typical arc.

When the sleeper hit Answer Me 1997 had come along, my friend had constantly asked me to give the series a go, but I never did until a few years later when I was so dry on dramas to watch that I decided to try it. Never did I expect to find myself so emotionally absorbed in this drama about teenagers. Maybe because certain elements of their lives mirrored mine—the everyday struggles of being a teen and that awkward phase that we all grapple with at that point in time. I found myself weeping along with the characters in ways that I never had before while watching dramas.


Answer Me 1997

As an introvert who likes to keep my thoughts and emotions to myself, dramas became a source of comfort. I hated crying and in a way, I think these dramas gave me an outlet to express myself and cry along with these characters, releasing all the pent-up sadness and anger that I held within me. I found myself slanting more and more towards dramas that had characters undergoing problems that mirrored mine, like Fight My Way, that provided just the right amount of relatability and humor.

I realized that over time as my ideals shifted, dramas that truly had an impact on me were not those involving superpowers or anything out of this world. In fact, the most stripped-down storylines told the best tales. During a period in my life when I felt helpless, Answer Me 1988 reminded me of the importance of surrounding myself with positive company. And that no matter what happens in life, my family will always have my back.


Answer Me 1988

It took many years and dramas to discover what truly fit me. And when I discovered what worked, it’s like finding that one comfort food that you can’t get enough of, that pick-me-up that never fails, or that tree hole for you to whisper your secrets into.

While I enjoy drams that are grounded in the daily lives of the average Jane Doe, I’m not saying that fantasy has no place in my world. I’ll still enjoy my fair share of shows like While You Were Sleeping and Pinocchio (Who can say no to Lee Jong-seok?). Dramas may serve as a getaway, yet I believe that we are constantly searching for something at different points in our lives, and our drama preferences closely reflect that. Consciously or otherwise. Maybe we can never truly draw the line between realism and escapism. After all, behind this pragmatist lies a dreamer still searching for the glass slipper that fits.

 
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LOVE your last line, and I identify so much with it. How are we terribly practical people who are still unbelievably fanciful? I don't know, I just know that it's so. You are absolutely right, different dramas are right for us at different times in our lives.

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hehe thanks for reading my random musings and it's always nice to meet fellow kindred spirits that view dramas the same way I do :)

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You didn't write a very long speech and yet you managed to write something very meaningful and deep."As an introvert who likes to keep my thoughts and emotions to myself, dramas became a source of comfort. I hated crying and in a way, I think these dramas gave me an outlet to express myself and cry along with these characters, releasing all the pent-up sadness and anger that I held within me."YESSS.I feel exactly the same,sometimes I feel that I live my emotional life through dramas rather than reality LOL.
"Dramas may serve as a getaway, yet I believe that we are constantly searching for something at different points in our lives, and our drama preferences closely reflect that."I never thought of that and there is so much truth in these words.I think no matter how good or bad the plot is,what makes a drama special to each and every one of us is how we identify with the characters and their emotional/life struggles.

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@iuly093 I'm glad you relate to dramas the same way as I do, often people overlook dramas and view it as a way to pass time but its amazing how dramas can lead us to different places such as this very site where I've found a lovely community of drama addicts!

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Your drama journey is so similar to mine except that I started with BOF and Heirs was my third show. After Heirs I too drifted to slice of life, I came for the fantasy but stayed for the realism.

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@wapz there's always still something magical about fantasy eh? Nice to have stumbled upon a fellow drama lover that shared the same experience and drama growth(?) (is this even a thing HAHA)

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I totally agree. I sometimes find myself needing those dramas that make you cry, and at other times, something lighthearted and fluffy. Yes, the point which you are in your life (And your maturity) does make a drama good to watch

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@justme fluffy is always the best pick-me up and a bundle of soft things to cushion hard things in life isn't it?

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A special spark that connects you with a drama - better be ready to ride the emotional rollercoaster. Why? What is it? Why am I drawn in? It's all about personal experiences and how we relate to the characters. The characters validate the experience. But many times a character can show us a different side and how to relate.
Ditto "There is a right drama for everyone "!

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@blktibetanquartz totally agree with how there's a right drama for everyone, to each his own I guess and that's the beauty of having a whole range of dramas to choose from (until too many good shows air at the same time and you are spoilt for choice)

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THIS totally expressed everything I want to say about my kdrama journey but can't articulate as well as OP did. For me it was Autumn in My Heart that got the whole family camping out in front of our TV and my first kdrama, followed by Dae Jang Geum, Jumong, Goong and Coffee Prince. When I learned to use the internet and discovered its powers along with DB, I stopped relying on our local TV channels for kdramas and the rest is history.

Like OP I loved shows like Boys over flowers, in fact I loved the entire Hana Yori Dango series from Meteor Gareden to its other drama adaptations. Earlier this year I tried rewatching BoF when I was going through a hard time, I wanted something to pick my spirits up, but instead of helping me escape from reality and suck me up to its world like it did years before I ended up rolling my eyes at the characters' absurdity. I ended up looking for other dramas with more realistic characters and depth when I thought I needed fluff. The series still holds a special place in my heart though I don't think I'll be revisiting it in the near future. Now it serves as a reminder of how much time has passed and how much older and more mature I've become. It made me realize that my fantasies as a child are gone, that my head has come down from the clouds and that I've become more grounded with a different, more morbid view of the world.

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@sophee thanks for enjoying the read as much as I enjoyed typing this! I still occasionally trawl youtube for BOF related things (although its strictly SoEul couple related). And it's true how we can look back on the series and there is this certain sense of nostalgia that is attached to that time period in my life where I was a crazy F4 fangirl :)

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What's with this month's writers & their grand concluding Para's & even more awesome concluding sentences?! Are you all pros?!
I've yet to find a "last sentence" in this month's theme articles that I didn't LOVE. You guys are genius!

**Please shower me with a bit of your wisdom!!**

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Oh & thank you for the pleasant read @yellowlemonfairy :-) such a cute handle BTW

And just like you, my first drama was dad Jan geum, which I love till this day actually. And after a few years of dry spell, BOF became my gateway drama to both k-dramaland as well as DB , hence I've a bit of respect for that show even if I find it so much cringy right now lol.
(I also think LMH did very good acting in bof even through it was his debut)

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@fatcat007 thanks sweetheart! (you are literally the only one that appreciates my handle hehe) it's funny how whenever you think you are done with dramas there's always that new show that pulls you right in again, at least we'll always have constant entertainment!

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"And when I discovered what worked, it’s like finding that one comfort food that you can’t get enough of, that pick-me-up that never fails, or that tree hole for you to whisper your secrets into."

Bingo! It's the truth. 💁🏼

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"Dramas may serve as a getaway, yet I believe that we are constantly searching for something at different points in our lives, and our drama preferences closely reflect that." --- yup, I can't say how much I agree with the statement. As a teenage girl, I yearn for that magical moment where a prince charming will carry me away and solve all my problems for me.

But now that I'm a full grown adult, I search for characters who go through the same problems I have now and learn vicariously how to overcome them, and if a prince charming is in the said story? Well then, that's just a bonus for me. :)

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@xhuizini no one ever says no to Prince Charming eh? I'm still actively searching although sometimes I wonder if my Prince Charming is actually an ugly frog. Guess we'll never know

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"After all, behind this pragmatist lies a dreamer still searching for the glass slipper that fits."

Well said.

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What a great piece, @yellowlemonfairy !
I identify with your journey a lot and I'm thankful to this community for showing us that we are not alone in our preferences and the way we cope with this world.

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@liliz thank you dearie :) Indeed Dramabeans has introduced me to a whole host of like-minded drama addicts and nice meeting you!

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This is my first time to comment in this platform. I like how you articulate your words. Direct to the point and relatable. Yes, me too, I watch dramas so I can cry. It is difficult for me to cry in front of someone. But my tears are in a free fall once I watch dramas.

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@crissedream Thanks sweetie for enjoying the read as much as I enjoyed typing! Occasionally when I cry watching dramas I like to think that I cry as prettily as the main girl then I look into the mirror and get a reality check lol.

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As an introvert who likes to keep my thoughts and emotions to myself, dramas became a source of comfort. I hated crying and in a way, I think these dramas gave me an outlet to express myself and cry along with these characters, releasing all the pent-up sadness and anger that I held within me.

I feel this^ so much!

And literally, same-

Maybe we can never truly draw the line between realism and escapism. After all, behind this pragmatist lies a dreamer still searching for the glass slipper that fits.

Thanks for the write-up! I was nodding my head in agreement half the time! :)

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@obsessedmuch thanks lovely! it's always great to meet new people that have such similar experiences, there's always something refreshing about a relatable drama eh? :)

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To be fair tho...Heirs absolute crap. lol So no wonder you got averted! but i totally see your point. I never thought something like Misaeng or Answer me 1997 would so up my alley and so relatable

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