I was chatting on rabbit yesterday and mentioned that I almost wrote an essay on why I love Noona romances. @mindy said to write it. Sooooo. I did. Soooo its below if anyone wants to read it.
It was Spring 2015 I was working 3rd shift as an assistant supervisor at a university. I knew the supervisor from a pervious job and we got along well. Our friendship grew during our time at this job as we were both late 20s-30 somethings and slightly cynical and surrounded by the pure optimistic bent of the college students we supervised. We became quite adept at catching each other mid-eye roll. We were jaded humans.
On this particular night we were bored out of skulls. I had finished my homework and didn’t bring a book to read. She had finished all her supervisory requirements for the evening. We only had one student with us that night—Delightful Gal A—and she was totally engrossed in what she was doing; watching a drama. She was laughing so hard that she was snorting. We finally out of sheer boredom asked her what she was doing. She answered that she was watching a k-drama and did we want to watch? She was too far ahead in what she was watching for us to join her but she could set us up with something else? We said sure why not, there was nothing else to do. And this thing that had captured the attention of a 17 year old could surely keep us entertained for at least one night. We’d be sure to plan better the next night.
Feel free to laugh uproariously at this bout of arrogance.
We devoured the first four eps of Coffee Prince that night. The next day, my supervisor friend looked up at me as I came in and said, “Sorry. I couldn’t wait for you. I’m on ep 10.” And didn’t look up for the rest of the shift. That was fine—I checked out a laptop and did the same. And the next day, I did the same. And when I worked with DGA again my first sentence was, “WHAT DO I WATCH NOW?”
She gave me Boys Over Flowers. I devoured it. By the time I worked with her again 3 days later I had watched it all. I asked for a list of dramas to watch. She laughed and wrote down:
Heirs
Pinocchio
You’re Beautiful
There were a few more on the list—but I lost it. But, that was ok. You’re Beautiful lead to Heartstrings and Heartstrings lead to me trying to find “Because I Miss You” by Jung Yong-Hwa which lead to my becoming obsessed with CNBlue and their music and wanting to watch more things with Jung Yong-Hwa. By this time the school year was over and my position was let go until the Fall. I had all summer to watch dramas. The only place I knew to look for dramas was on youtube. I hadn’t discovered viki or dramafever or any of the sketchy sites. And the only keywords I knew were: kdrama
Korean drama
Flower boy drama
and now—thanks to my love of Jung Yong-Hwa—I could use his name for a search as well. The first drama that I watched that Summer was A Gentleman’s Dignity.
I was….stunned. I was surprised. I had never seen a drama like this before. These weren’t cute boys on the screen. These were men. If you haven’t seen it A Gentleman’s Dignity is about four men who have been best friends since their school days
days and their love lives. One is a widower who for reasons painfully unclear to me (theirs was BY FAR my least favorite of the romances) had fallen in love with one of his best friends much younger sisters. A second was the older brother of the sister. He was ready to marry his long-term girlfriend. She wasn’t particularly interested. The third friend had been married for quite sometime but couldn’t keep it in his pants. He was always out and about prowling the town for PYTs to entertain—on his rich wife’s dime. They spend the majority of the drama on the edge of a divorce. The final gentleman—and the male lead is a dyed in the wool bachelor. He’s never been tied down and has never been interested in getting tied down (unless maybe for some kinky bedroom shenanigans….) and he meets our female lead. And falls. HARD. The female lead is the best friend and roommate of the long-term girlfriend who isn’t ready to marry. And she’s had a massive crush on her roommate and dear friends boyfriend for longer than the two of them have been together.
I was obsessed. This was the first drama I rewatched. These weren’t PYT’s. These weren’t tiny little waifs who were in the throws of first love. These…why…these were adults. They worried about careers not part time jobs. They stressed over bosses (if they weren’t their own bosses) and clients not teachers and homework.
I was settled into my career. I had reached a somewhat awkward point with my friendships that year. My friends were all mostly married or had moved away in a mass exodus earlier that year (seriously—all of my friends left the state at once.) My friendly acquaintances were all at least 10 years younger than me—early 20s and still in college. Their priorities were different than mine. I loved the dramas that DGA had introduced to me but much like her they were mostly school dramas and youth romances. Because that’s where she was in life. As much as I loved them, I could see myself easily giving them up. In @ally-le’s post earlier this week she talks about representation. I’m a romcom girl at my heart. I would have kept on watching until something else new and shiny caught my eye because as much as I was enjoying them—I didn’t see myself in them. My 30something year old self didn’t find much to relate to with the steady parade of Candy Girls and her Oppa who was 10 years younger than me.
But—how did I find more dramas like me? How did I find more dramas with 30somethings or 40somethings?
Ah. That’s still a question that I don’t know the answer to. Mostly characters in that age range are dealing with adultery. Or divorce. Or their children. Which is fine. But something that as a viewer I can’t relate to.
So. I watched A Gentleman’s Dignity and I loved the kickass and competent and the fragile and the adultness of the relationships. I still squeed over tentative handholds. Stolen glances. First (and second and ALL) kisses. But, they felt different. There was still giggling and
There was still giggling and hand waving and chatting with their best friend. But with adults—they had done this before. They’ve been in and failed in previous relationships. That knowledge adds a weight to the squeeings as they prepare to enter and entrust their hearts to someone new that school and youth romances don’t offer because their characters are young. They’ve never risked their hearts and had them shattered. Their flutterings are all of a does he/she like me back and what-do-I-do if they DO!!! Nature. With adults, especially adults who have had their hearts broken before there’s a wariness there as they have to decide if giving their heart away is really worth the risk of the potential heart break. And OOF it hurts so good as they try and decide and ultimately give in.
I kept searching. Using my minimal keywords:
kdrama
Korean drama
Flower boy drama
It was my search of Jung Yong-Hwa that brought me to dramabeans for the first time. He was in Marry Him if You Dare and for the love of pete did I not like that drama. Where was it going? What was happening here? Who was she going to choose? Why was this SO. BAD? There’s a recap. I read that instead of finishing the drama. And by reading the recap I found more recaps and finally—I found a word. Noona
I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. But in the course of my reading the recaps for the dramas that I had already watched the word had come up repeatedly. I found a list of noona romances. And…jackpot. Here were the women who reminded me of myself. The grown up candies who didn’t get swept off their feet by a conveniently located chaebol. Here in the noona romances were single 30 something year old women. Women who had had their hearts broken but still wanted to fall in love. Women who had focused on career and family and looked up and all the men their age were married or a blind date or 12 revealed exactly why they weren’t (um. Yikers)
And I watched. I watched every one I could get my hands on and most of them (all of them?) to the bitter end even if they went off the rails into loony town and purely bad storytelling (Oh, hey Whats Up Fox and Pretty Noona)
Not every romcom that’s not a youth or school romcom is a noona romance. I have no idea how old Oh Hae Young and Pyo Na Ri are supposed to be. I’d guess late 20s to mid30s. I loved them. They were my very first live-watches. I had no idea that live watching was a thing and how lucky was I to get to do it at a truly excellent time? Dude—there were SO MANY EXCELLENT DRAMAS THAT SEASON. OHY, Jealousy Incarnate, W, Lets Fight Ghost –and I think there were more? All on at the same time. I haven’t had a packed live watch schedule like that since. There were one or two dramas to watch every day. None of them were Noonas.
So…why do I watch and love Noona romances? Because. I see myself in them. I watch Noona romances and the girly part in me that made me a romcom girl to begin with wakes up and tells
and tells me that just because I’m not 22 or 24 doesn’t mean it wont happen to me. I may not have found it in my 20s but that doesn’t mean there’s not a PSJ or a PBG or a SIG waiting somewhere in this decade for me.
WOW….I enjoyed reading this soo much…Thanks for sharing it….
Like you, I watched a gentle man’s dignity and loved it a lot. Another drama like noona romance is the woman who still wants to marry. That drama is a gem. I watched it before I was 20 and I enjoyed it as of that time I love career women and I still do. Now I will be 25 this Sunday, I will like to watch it again. I am curious about how I will feel this time around…
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 3:09 PM
I was chatting on rabbit yesterday and mentioned that I almost wrote an essay on why I love Noona romances. @mindy said to write it. Sooooo. I did. Soooo its below if anyone wants to read it.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 3:10 PM
It was Spring 2015 I was working 3rd shift as an assistant supervisor at a university. I knew the supervisor from a pervious job and we got along well. Our friendship grew during our time at this job as we were both late 20s-30 somethings and slightly cynical and surrounded by the pure optimistic bent of the college students we supervised. We became quite adept at catching each other mid-eye roll. We were jaded humans.
On this particular night we were bored out of skulls. I had finished my homework and didn’t bring a book to read. She had finished all her supervisory requirements for the evening. We only had one student with us that night—Delightful Gal A—and she was totally engrossed in what she was doing; watching a drama. She was laughing so hard that she was snorting. We finally out of sheer boredom asked her what she was doing. She answered that she was watching a k-drama and did we want to watch? She was too far ahead in what she was watching for us to join her but she could set us up with something else? We said sure why not, there was nothing else to do. And this thing that had captured the attention of a 17 year old could surely keep us entertained for at least one night. We’d be sure to plan better the next night.
Feel free to laugh uproariously at this bout of arrogance.
We devoured the first four eps of Coffee Prince that night. The next day, my supervisor friend looked up at me as I came in and said, “Sorry. I couldn’t wait for you. I’m on ep 10.” And didn’t look up for the rest of the shift. That was fine—I checked out a laptop and did the same. And the next day, I did the same. And when I worked with DGA again my first sentence was, “WHAT DO I WATCH NOW?”
She gave me Boys Over Flowers. I devoured it. By the time I worked with her again 3 days later I had watched it all. I asked for a list of dramas to watch. She laughed and wrote down:
Heirs
Pinocchio
You’re Beautiful
There were a few more on the list—but I lost it. But, that was ok. You’re Beautiful lead to Heartstrings and Heartstrings lead to me trying to find “Because I Miss You” by Jung Yong-Hwa which lead to my becoming obsessed with CNBlue and their music and wanting to watch more things with Jung Yong-Hwa. By this time the school year was over and my position was let go until the Fall. I had all summer to watch dramas. The only place I knew to look for dramas was on youtube. I hadn’t discovered viki or dramafever or any of the sketchy sites. And the only keywords I knew were: kdrama
Korean drama
Flower boy drama
and now—thanks to my love of Jung Yong-Hwa—I could use his name for a search as well. The first drama that I watched that Summer was A Gentleman’s Dignity.
I was….stunned. I was surprised. I had never seen a drama like this before. These weren’t cute boys on the screen. These were men. If you haven’t seen it A Gentleman’s Dignity is about four men who have been best friends since their school days
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 3:11 PM
days and their love lives. One is a widower who for reasons painfully unclear to me (theirs was BY FAR my least favorite of the romances) had fallen in love with one of his best friends much younger sisters. A second was the older brother of the sister. He was ready to marry his long-term girlfriend. She wasn’t particularly interested. The third friend had been married for quite sometime but couldn’t keep it in his pants. He was always out and about prowling the town for PYTs to entertain—on his rich wife’s dime. They spend the majority of the drama on the edge of a divorce. The final gentleman—and the male lead is a dyed in the wool bachelor. He’s never been tied down and has never been interested in getting tied down (unless maybe for some kinky bedroom shenanigans….) and he meets our female lead. And falls. HARD. The female lead is the best friend and roommate of the long-term girlfriend who isn’t ready to marry. And she’s had a massive crush on her roommate and dear friends boyfriend for longer than the two of them have been together.
I was obsessed. This was the first drama I rewatched. These weren’t PYT’s. These weren’t tiny little waifs who were in the throws of first love. These…why…these were adults. They worried about careers not part time jobs. They stressed over bosses (if they weren’t their own bosses) and clients not teachers and homework.
I was settled into my career. I had reached a somewhat awkward point with my friendships that year. My friends were all mostly married or had moved away in a mass exodus earlier that year (seriously—all of my friends left the state at once.) My friendly acquaintances were all at least 10 years younger than me—early 20s and still in college. Their priorities were different than mine. I loved the dramas that DGA had introduced to me but much like her they were mostly school dramas and youth romances. Because that’s where she was in life. As much as I loved them, I could see myself easily giving them up. In @ally-le’s post earlier this week she talks about representation. I’m a romcom girl at my heart. I would have kept on watching until something else new and shiny caught my eye because as much as I was enjoying them—I didn’t see myself in them. My 30something year old self didn’t find much to relate to with the steady parade of Candy Girls and her Oppa who was 10 years younger than me.
But—how did I find more dramas like me? How did I find more dramas with 30somethings or 40somethings?
Ah. That’s still a question that I don’t know the answer to. Mostly characters in that age range are dealing with adultery. Or divorce. Or their children. Which is fine. But something that as a viewer I can’t relate to.
So. I watched A Gentleman’s Dignity and I loved the kickass and competent and the fragile and the adultness of the relationships. I still squeed over tentative handholds. Stolen glances. First (and second and ALL) kisses. But, they felt different. There was still giggling and
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 3:11 PM
There was still giggling and hand waving and chatting with their best friend. But with adults—they had done this before. They’ve been in and failed in previous relationships. That knowledge adds a weight to the squeeings as they prepare to enter and entrust their hearts to someone new that school and youth romances don’t offer because their characters are young. They’ve never risked their hearts and had them shattered. Their flutterings are all of a does he/she like me back and what-do-I-do if they DO!!! Nature. With adults, especially adults who have had their hearts broken before there’s a wariness there as they have to decide if giving their heart away is really worth the risk of the potential heart break. And OOF it hurts so good as they try and decide and ultimately give in.
I kept searching. Using my minimal keywords:
kdrama
Korean drama
Flower boy drama
It was my search of Jung Yong-Hwa that brought me to dramabeans for the first time. He was in Marry Him if You Dare and for the love of pete did I not like that drama. Where was it going? What was happening here? Who was she going to choose? Why was this SO. BAD? There’s a recap. I read that instead of finishing the drama. And by reading the recap I found more recaps and finally—I found a word. Noona
I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. But in the course of my reading the recaps for the dramas that I had already watched the word had come up repeatedly. I found a list of noona romances. And…jackpot. Here were the women who reminded me of myself. The grown up candies who didn’t get swept off their feet by a conveniently located chaebol. Here in the noona romances were single 30 something year old women. Women who had had their hearts broken but still wanted to fall in love. Women who had focused on career and family and looked up and all the men their age were married or a blind date or 12 revealed exactly why they weren’t (um. Yikers)
And I watched. I watched every one I could get my hands on and most of them (all of them?) to the bitter end even if they went off the rails into loony town and purely bad storytelling (Oh, hey Whats Up Fox and Pretty Noona)
Not every romcom that’s not a youth or school romcom is a noona romance. I have no idea how old Oh Hae Young and Pyo Na Ri are supposed to be. I’d guess late 20s to mid30s. I loved them. They were my very first live-watches. I had no idea that live watching was a thing and how lucky was I to get to do it at a truly excellent time? Dude—there were SO MANY EXCELLENT DRAMAS THAT SEASON. OHY, Jealousy Incarnate, W, Lets Fight Ghost –and I think there were more? All on at the same time. I haven’t had a packed live watch schedule like that since. There were one or two dramas to watch every day. None of them were Noonas.
So…why do I watch and love Noona romances? Because. I see myself in them. I watch Noona romances and the girly part in me that made me a romcom girl to begin with wakes up and tells
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 3:12 PM
and tells me that just because I’m not 22 or 24 doesn’t mean it wont happen to me. I may not have found it in my 20s but that doesn’t mean there’s not a PSJ or a PBG or a SIG waiting somewhere in this decade for me.
Ally
September 16, 2018 at 3:54 PM
Awesome read! Thanks for the mention too. And surely, there are many younger men out there that would be happy to have a Noona Romance with you!
Safeenah
September 17, 2018 at 1:25 AM
WOW….I enjoyed reading this soo much…Thanks for sharing it….
Like you, I watched a gentle man’s dignity and loved it a lot. Another drama like noona romance is the woman who still wants to marry. That drama is a gem. I watched it before I was 20 and I enjoyed it as of that time I love career women and I still do. Now I will be 25 this Sunday, I will like to watch it again. I am curious about how I will feel this time around…
egads aka Dame Maggie
September 16, 2018 at 4:09 PM
What a fun read. May your very own PSJ come into your life.
Carolina
September 16, 2018 at 5:23 PM
Great read! I also burnt my grilled cheese because I was too busy reading your story and rewatching this PSJ clip.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
September 16, 2018 at 7:02 PM
Maybe I’ve got too many serial killers on the brain but does it not look like theres a toothpick in her eye?
mugyuljoie is preciousss
September 16, 2018 at 11:48 PM
I thought it was a tear at first.
Madkdr
September 17, 2018 at 3:32 AM
what a great read!!