Beanie level: Loan shark with a heart of gold

Bogummy, anyone? Debut 3/20/19. He. Is. Adorable. Oh, and talented. @bammsie

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Yoo Inna in “How to talk to yourself without looking crazy, but just cute!” #touchyourheart


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    FYI, this is just the second time I’ve been able to use the html code to embed gifs and the first time embedding multiple gifs that are mine! Woohoo! Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Thank you, @hades and @mindy and @greenfields!

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      Congrats! I actually really like how you’ve styled this GIF. It reminds me of a photo negative reel kinda but not if you get my drift.

      Speaking of teaching an old dog new tricks, a fellow beanie pointed out to me the other day that the html code does not require quotation marks. Makes life so much easier in so many different ways. 🤯

      P.S. I don’t know why, but I’m liking this drama. More accurately, Lee Dong Wook and his character are really likable here.

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        Oh? Yeah, the GIF styling was totally on purpose…😆

        Really??? No quotes?!? 🤯🤯🤯 that’s where I usually mess this up!

        And I’m LOVING this drama, more than I expected!

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    she is just so adorable!!!!

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For my fellow Jane Austen-ites:

Sanditon Casting News

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Here you go @hotcocoagirl, because you started it:

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February 14:

In a little corner of the web
Away from prying eyes
Lives love.

You don’t believe in love, you say?
I say, it was only a human touch away.

It’s words spoken,
Songs sung,
Poems and stories written.
Actions done.

And it lives.
I will testify to it.
I’ve seen it.
And, now, you have too.

Thank you, @hotcocoagirl, for a memorable and heartfelt 14 days.

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear Beanies.
You all are beautiful. What you’ve said, what you’ve shared. I am in awe of all of it.

Love,
February

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February 13:

My husband is on his way to a conference today, so I wasn’t expecting anything for Valentines Day. But then these show up at my office. I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I continuously am. And my office smells so wonderful. He also said all the roses looked like crap this year.

Love,
February

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February 12:

I eat lunch with my kids every Tuesday. Well, more Tuesdays than not. It’s something I started when I moved to my “forever” job; hopefully, the one from which I retire. It’s not much, but I hope they know that I do it because I love them. Other parents that do this usually stop when their kids get to middle school, which is where my son it now. I could tell you about what I see in his lunchroom and how it’s a microcosm of our society as a whole, but I’ll spare you. Instead, I’ll tell you that he wasn’t feeling well today, still recovering from being ill last week, and he started crying. He was exhausted, and said he was “depressed.” I told him he only had a couple hours left of the day and to hang in there, which I didn’t know if that was what I should have said at the time. And I gave him some candy in my purse—really, they were cough drops, but he took them all the same. He wiped his tears and I gave him a hug. And back to work I went, wondering if he was really going to be ok. By dinner he was himself again. I worry about him the most of my two kids.

Love,
February

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    *hugs* Middle school in the US can be the absolute worst, especially for the kids who do well in school. I hope he has a few friends that brighten his school day and that he feels all better soon.

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      Thanks. He does have some really good friends, but they have a different lunch period this year. He’s made some new ones, kind of, but everyone is just on their electronics all lunch period. It’s crazy. I’m sure he enjoyed his lunch period last year much more. I know I did.

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    *sends so much love and strength to your son* *and to you*

    Fighting, Ally and Allyson!

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    <3 <3 <3 Hugs to you both. Hang in there, Ally and son. Fighting!

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    Every loving and encouraging words counts, ally.
    When I fell into mild depression around 2 years ago and I couldn’t form the words to tell my parents that I needed help, every encouragement they gave me, every loving words they said despite my silence helped a lot. It’s amazing how they can give me everything I didn’t even know I need.
    *sending strength to you and your son*

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      Thank you for your kind words. Depression runs in my family, so it’s difficult when I see signs of it. I think he’s just sick and run down right now. But I’m just keeping an extra eye on him.

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    *Hugs* Ally and son , tell him that if he wants to talk you listen to anything he has to say and give him more Hugs.
    I don’t want to preach , sorry if it came out like that
    All the love and support for you both 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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      I will! I’m not the greatest listener. I’m a problem solver. But sometimes there are no solutions that we can give.

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        Sometimes only listening would help him a lot with solving and dealing with whatever he is going through 💜💜

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    Ally you are just so plum interesting. It is legit insane. That has nothing to do with this. but there you go.
    I hope your boy is feeling better. Encouragement to you both!

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      I’m not that interesting. I’ve just lived, just like you. You’re far more interesting. You life would definitely fill more books than mine.

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    Sending lots of tight hugs and love to both you and your son!! Being someone who was depressed for a while, it was a huge help when parents listened without judgment and was an emotional support. 😊 I’m sure it was also tough for my parents as I was very toxic, so you’re very strong Ally! 😊 thank you for being an amazing parent as well! ♥️

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February 11:

I interrupt this scheduled inspirational post for this story, because as suffocating as kdrama mothers are, this real life one takes the Valentine’s Day cake. And notice they didn’t even mention she was Asian. Like it’s understood that only our race does this. 😂
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/police-searching-mother-whos-allegedly-harassing-college-women-date-son-190612490.html

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February 10:

A grandmother teaching her granddaughter how to knit, just like she taught her daughter.

Love,
February

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February 9:

Love is:

My husband brewing me a cup of coffee today.

Love is:

Me cleaning the house so he can have his friends over tonight.

Love,
February

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February 8:

Tonight, I had Korean BBQ.
My mom recognized Song Joon-ki on our water bottle.
Now, she wants to buy one.
PPL at it’s finest.

She told the server she knew the person on the bottle.
He asked her if she watched Kdramas.
She excitedly said, “Yes!” Beaming brightly.
They both saw Descendents of the Sun.
Kdramas drawing people together.

She wasn’t done.
She asked if he had seen I’m Not a Robot, (which she’s rewatched four times).
He asked her who was in it.
I told him Chae Soo-bin (whom he knew).
She told him that she would give him a better tip if he promised to see it!
My mom is adorable.

Love,
February

I'M Not A Robot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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February 7:

Dear J,

We met in psychology class. Ironic, isn\’t it? I learned just as much about human interaction and motivation from you as I did from Dr. D–the psychologist that everyone loved, who won every teaching award our high school had. (I don\’t know why that impressed me at the time–he was an expert in human behavior and probably knew how to manipulate that behavior.) I don\’t even know how our paths crossed. You were a year ahead of me in school, on an accelerated track as I was, and you should have had this class the year prior. Or maybe I should have had this class the year after. I don\’t remember. Too many life-changing memories have crowded that detail out. But I do remember the other girls in my year in that class. My friend, S, who I followed me throughout school, and we always ended up on the same science competition teams, later applying to the same medical school together, the same one you went to. And L and K, the best friends who ended up valedictorian and salutatorian a year later. Funny that I remember those three girls, but no boys.

Except you.

And why wouldn\’t I remember you? You were beautiful. Over 6 ft tall, lanky but athletic, and with a face as perfect as porcelain, with glasses that sat upon the most perfect nose I\’ve ever seen then or since . Your features were delicate, but you had that senior swagger that said you knew exactly how your life would go, and in control of your destiny. You were the definition of white privilege, even though we had no idea what that meant at the time. Your blond hair and blue eyes were what probably everyone saw first, and like me, came under your spell. But you were also smart, really smart. You sailed through school without a care in our little existence, debated with that senior brunette every time you could in class while I held on to your every word as if I would die if I let go.

Remember when you held my hand?

At least that\’s what I called it. We were watching a film in class about some psychologist or another and I told you I wanted to see your hand span compared to mine, because being a pianist, this was VERY important to me. And you obliged. And in that dark room, with our hands palm-to-palm, you bent your fingers over mine, and I was thrilled. You and I laughed, and I never wanted those 30 seconds to end. So imagine my shock when you came in arm in arm the next day with that senior brunette, the one you found a reason to argue with at every turn. Your smile was warm to me, but the fire she brought out in you was something more, much more. And I didn\’t understand it, although I desperately wanted to.

And then that semester ended.

But not before I saw Dr. D to pick up my last essay on the psychology of existential crises where he asked me if I would miss his class. But before I could answer, he coyly said he knew who I would miss. Imagine my mortification. And if he knew, everyone knew. But did you know? And as if

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    Miss Serendipity had planned it herself, I met you walking out of that meeting. Did you see how crimson I was? I was also mortified about a pimple I had on my left nose- my flat, imperfect, freckled, red nose- and hastily congratulated you on your graduation and getting into that prestigious 6-year medical school. You still smiled at me, so sweetly, and in doing so, you broke my heart that day.

    A year passed.

    A year of new infatuations, friendships, and heartaches. S and I were still inseparable and we applied to that 6-year medical school you were attending. Before our interviews—yes, we both got interviews—we went on a tour of the school and the dorms. I can’t lie and tell you that I didn’t will your presence to me that day, because I prayed for it, the night before we came up. I wanted to see you, at least your face. I would have been fine if you were 50 yards away. But I got much closer because as we were going up the dorm’s back stairwell you came flying down, flipping around the banister and would have not even seen us, had I not yelled your name. You were obviously late to class, or a meeting, because you had barely enough time to register who we were, and there was no confidence behind those new horn-rimmed glasses you had. There was something I’d never seen: timidity, fear, being overwhelmed. Maybe because you were late, but maybe it was more. And when I asked you how things were going, you had only one sentence to spit out before you continued down the stairs “It’s much harder than I thought it would be.” I just looked at you dumbfounded. The boy that was always confident, now resigned. But the second I saw you, my heart leapt into my chest and I probably turned a hue of vermilion, but that’s probably how I always looked around you. I was definitely affected more than you were. And S teased me all the way back home. She was later waitlisted, while I received a denial letter.

    I really never think about you now.

    I’ve never looked you up on any number of professional social media sites even though I could. We lived in an age before cell phones, social media, and knowing every detail of a person whether you want to or not and I’d like to leave you in that age. I’m content in life as I hope you are to. I don’t know what you’re doing or even if you made it through medical school. S is an orthopedic surgeon now. I know, I bet you wish you would have paid her more attention, don’t you? But that last chance meeting we had where I saw that you were just as human as I was good for me. I didn’t cry that I didn’t get into your school. I was actually happy. I got to experience college life as intended. My college boyfriend was basically you, but more athletic and not nearly as intelligent. And I think nicer. But sometimes I do remember you, because you were my first love, and heartbreak, and healing.

    Love,
    February

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    Just gorgeous. <3

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    gahhh you put me back, back to those moments, those feelings. I’m not sure if I wanted to be back in those moments, but it does tell us something about us, our values and those of those around us, when we look back with hindsight’s 20/20 perspective.

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      I hadn’t thought of writing “love” letters until everyone else was. Well, I did, but thought it would be too cringe-worthy. There were times in writing this where I had a tear form, but never released, and more because of the writing process, and not because of the subject, if you know what I mean. And I wish I would have edited it. But after typing over 1300 words, the last thing you want to do is edit them!

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My Ahjusshi, Ep 12: Finally! Just too busy to sit down and watch tv right now, so this was an accomplishment. I felt a lot happened this episode, so it kept me engaged throughout, although I had a million things on my mind at the time and watched it out of a sense of obligation to my fellow Beanies. And you all were right, Ki Hoon and the actress grew on me this episode. I love how he was brutally honest with her and how he went to bat for her. She’s still way to immature for me to like her very much, but it’s a start. And Ji-an was a standout this episode. I cried when she was at the questioning. And then again when she told Dong Hoon that he was a decent and good person and then he smiled remembering when he told her the same thing. I wish I could be that good and decent. Where through my normal actions, I would enact change in an individual for the better. Because that’s what he’s done for Ji-an. And my heart just broke for Kwang Il. He had less than a dozen lines, but each one was poetic. The hill he carried her up when she was unconscious from being beat by his father superimposed in his mind every time he went up the stairs to her present home. And the band of friends that are fiercely loyal to each other…Ji-an now has a whole bar of people in her corner, watching out for her. It takes a village, or in this case, Jung-hee’s bar.

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      Ally for my part, I give you permission to finish MA at will or not at all while you move on to other dramas. Every show isn’t for every Beanie. This one was very difficult for me, and having about a week’s perspective I’m still not sure I can say I’m glad to have watched it (although it finally picked up for me … at 14). It felt like physically dragging myself through a highly resistant substance to get to the end. Mostly I’m left wondering why everyone else loves it so and what key part I missed (or am missing).

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        For me, LIVE was a better watch and it was TVN long too. I’m breaking these episodes up into 30-40 minute segments which seems to be going much better. It’s just all depressing all the time. And I’m doing it while working out, which also makes me feel more productive. There’s actually not a lot of talking in this so I don’t have to keep up with reading subtitles as much. My TED talks will have to wait (what I usually watch when I work out nowadays).

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          Right, it’s all depressing all the time. And oy, the episode length 🤦🏻‍♀️ That made it such a hard slog. You’ve found a good way to work around it.

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    The scenes are still fresh in my memory.
    What a beautiful drama this is. Makes you want to be kind and a good soul.

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    Oh, when they walk her home. Loved that. Also, when she was questioned.

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    Favorite part of this episode was when the whole gang walked her home. And that “thank you!”. Such a proud moment for my girl Ji-an. And Dong-hoon knows that it’s a big deal for her too.

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      I loved that simple line too! A person who is so jaded thinking nothing and no one can be good to her without expecting anything in return. The sincerity in her voice was really poignant.

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    One of my favorite episodes.

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    – The scene in which the gang walks Ji-An home is bittersweet to me, because one can see that JA can’t believe that a thing that is so simple and beautiful is happening to her, that is used to be alone and without protection or someone that cares for her.

    – Kwang-Il… so, why are you behaving just like your father, now? One can choose, you know…

    – the interview was beautiful… JA is able to do something for DH (when that thing was organized to destroy him) without even lying. And that Chairman that pops up here and there seems so unrelated to the hell that is that office (above all during the first episodes it reminded me Orwell’s “1984”).

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      You’re right! Orwell’s 1984 was such a classic and compelling movie. I can see why you made that connection.

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    Finally, I finished it again. You are right, Ally, up from this episode is when you get to see why Ki hoon and the actress make sense. I must recognize, the first time I watched each episode, I always fast forwarded Ki hoon and the actress plot, until Lollypip said Yoo ra made her cry.
    And although in real life, I wouldn’t be friends with people like them, simply because we have nothing in common, on the screen it is good to see how they find their own way to be healed.
    For me, this drama is a lot about healing, and that’s why I love it so much.
    Ep. 12 was another stand out for Ji an… I laughed and cried when she told Dong hoon they both pitied each other, but somehow it meant they also liked each other very deeply… (as whatever they are together, but they do), and there I am back again on my feet for this story. I just… I wish I would have someone like that in my life.
    And Dong hoon… he is so interesting! He made me cry when talking to Yoon hee about being lacking. Really, she should have separated from him first. Be honest, etc, but anyway… It is also real. These things happen among couples. Life in a marriage is very complicated.

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February 5:

These are my boys and I love them. And even better that they’re doing Disney here and killing it! #thelionking #highlight

Love,
February

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February 4:

To all my Lunar New Year- celebrating Beanies, HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🎊. Love is family, food, and friends! The first pic is food offered to the ancestors, second is all ours! And Lucky Money for the kids!!!

Love,
February

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February 3:

Love is easy.
Making someone feel your love for them is hard.
Relationships are hard because it\’s hard to keep a person feeling love and respected through all the years you\’re together.
Very hard.
Some days much harder than others.
That may have been today.

Love,
February

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February 2: I had a dream last night. I never, hardly ever, dream, but I was thinking about these “Love, February” essays and was also thinking about dedicating each day to a favorite hallyu star when I fell asleep. This is the only way I can explain what I dreamt. To be clear, I wasn’t going to gush about boy bands and actors, because I don’t think that’s what @hotcocoagirl envisioned. And it would be pretty annoying to read on the fanwall, especially if you don’t care for who I do—and I don’t need an excuse to fangirl anyway! However, as my brain was attempting to organize the thoughts of my day, I dreamt about Doojoon and Yoseob. And probably the rest of Highlight too, but these two were seated next to me and so I interacted with them. And my husband, he was there too.

Setting: A diner, in a booth with a long table, like there were probably 6 people on each side and Doo joon was on my left and Yoseop was on my right. And Yoseop was just touching my face, like my son did when he was a baby, like he was fascinated by my skin or something. So weird but, like all dreams, it was totally normal. And Doo-joon was just being silent and shy. Until I asked him about what he was interested in. And then he showed me some ideas he had about, what else, comic books! I know, my dreams are totally flow of consciousness, as they should be, So guess what DJ likes— DC comics— at least in my dream. And it just so happens that my son loves comics. So there’s that connection. I love my son.

Love,
February

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Today is February 1st. My mom and dad are heading to my house right now. They who rarely gave me a hug or any affirmation growing up. Turns out they love Valentines Day. I didn’t know it until I was in medical school, my first year away from home. They sent me a care package filled with bite-sized chocolates, heart-shaped suckers, mugs with I ❤️ U stamped all over them, and even goodies for my roommate. “Wow! Your mom and dad are amazing!” She would exclaim. All the while, I would look on confused, thinking I was in a parallel universe. I, who never received any outward displays of affection, was now slapped on the face with a box full of it. Maybe that was the beginning. The beginning of respect, love, and affirmation. And every Valentines Day, they continue that tradition.

Love,
February

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    It’s interesting to see the different things and feeling that are revealed when we go away for the first time. My sister is much more verbally and tactilely loving ever since she left for uni, and it shocked some of her friends from back home – sometimes they’d think she didn’t care because she didn’t say so.

    Big <3 for family, and for you sharing.

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      Lol, I was not physically affectionate with those outside my family until I moved ten hours away for uni and suddenly realized I had to get over my dislike of hugs or else go six months at a time with touching another human.

      Needless to say, I’m grateful for making friends I could hug.

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    That’s so sweet

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    *touched, first thing in the morning.*

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    That’s a bit bittersweet, Ally. But it sounds like February 14 is a good day for you.

    My father sent me roses every Valentine’s Day until I was about 25 when he accidentally wrote “From the only man who will love you” on the card rather than “From the man who loves you”. He was so embarrassed at how unintentionally creepy it was that he stopped.

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      Wow! your father sounds so sweet! ❤

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      Your father is so sweet , I like him already 💝💜💝💜💝💜

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    I love that story Ally ~ my first year at uni my parents sent me a huge jar of chocolate covered raisins for Valentines Day, and it was my treasure.

    They are the ones who taught me to love the holiday, my mom was the one who had us do a big family celebration, and used to say that “it’s a holiday to celebrate love, and anyone who thinks romantic love is the only love worth celebrating is an idiot”

    Such eloquence, my mom people.

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    That’s similar to me. My parents would critique and criticize me, sometimes obviously sometimes blatantly. It was a very difficult time growing, but then I moved out of the house and things changed drastically. Familial relationships are very interesting.

    Thank you for sharing!

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    Awwww. Love from missing one another.

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    oh i just love this!! it’s so sweet, in such a genuine and real way. ❤️❤️ and i also love it as a commentary on valentine’s day as a whole—obviously i don’t know your parents, so this is more of a theoretical consideration, but i love that you’ve portrayed val-day as an outlet to some who may not often express things outwardly. it’s ok to be over the top on valentine’s day. the rest of the year we can be ourselves.

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    Aww so sweet 💝💜💝💜💝💜

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@delphy010 is at this concert now! #allhighlightallthetime #goodbye20s #jun-hyung http://mixlr.com/kokonuna

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    My first Idol, oh I feel so old now. I miss all of them, and wish they could enter together this year. Doojoon looks like lost lot of weight.

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