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Beans of Wisdom: A healthy K-drama-watching life

This week in Beans of Wisdom…

Jamie shares this gem in last week’s “Beans of Wisdom: Tree Oppa and an abundance of Kims” comment #16:

With all this Goblin discussion, I came back because I could not resist adding a link to The World of Dave’s Goblin in 4 minutes(Drama parody), uploaded today on Youtube. So ridiculous–enjoy!

 

“Saimdang, Light’s Diary: Episode 1” had a lukewarm response among beanies but at least some of us are happy. Like YY in comment #19:

SSH is back! Will he

…brood?
…shower?
…brood AND shower?
…fly into a rage and hurl things about?
…fly into a rage and smash his fists into a mirror?

jomo:

YESSSSSS!

1..Check, if staring strangely out a window counts.
2..Yes, maybe not with modern plumbing but he can find a waterfall or pond. He is kinda like a human divining rod. He douses regularly.
3..Yes, of course, because if not, life has no meaning.
4..Check. Did you see his room? It wasn’t like that before the help interrupted him while he was painting.
5..Check. In this episode, he smashed the mirror using the dove’s wings flapping, which a clear signal of his long forgotten rage over being interrupted while painting.

I was not at first interested in watching this show until, YOBOSAYO, the Hand Towel. Then I thought, wow, I will write poems, and there will be YY, and VOILA here you are!
Thirty episodes? Are you kidding me? We will have so much fun. <3

 

Sarai writes in “Hwarang: Episode 13” comment #25:

*WARNING*
DESIRE TO BE THOUGHTFUL AND PHILOSOPHICAL

Hwa-gong’s metaphor about the pond to Sun Woo.

I LOVED that. I think that this is honestly something the everyone could benefit from studying. Just because something looks a certain way to you on the surface doesn’t mean you know everything about it as fact. We can’t take experiences… or especially people… at “face” or “first” value. We’ve all got deeper roots. We’re all made up of hidden parts. And yes, some of those parts are dark, cold, and frightening, but only when you begin to explore then unknown can you truly hope to KNOW… and learn… and grow as human beings.

I know I’ve made this mistake countless times. Looking at ideas or people through what I know, see, (or sadly sometimes just hear) about it/them. Instead of seeking truth, searching deeper to find what lies beneath surface level. I think this can be applied to education, to jobs, to ways of thinking, and most to humanity. No pond is without secrets, but the secrets don’t have to be something we ignore – nor something we fear. We simply have to be willing to put aside what we “know” (or see) as truth and take a risk to learn and try and understand that which is unfamiliar.

And then… what if I’m the pond? What if I am hiding my truest self for fear others will not want to see… or won’t like what they see. “To be seen as we truly are, is the biggest risk we will ever take.”

 

While Dominique Lola talks about the weight of a crown in “Hwarang: Episode 14” comment #23:

I feel like no matter what sweet strong stuff Sun Woo says about being king, and the responsibility for the people he has no freaking idea what it means to be King. It’s not just caring for each individual citizen in your damn country. It’s far more than that. Making sure the economy is stable, the political climate is smooth, it’s always the kingdom before the people first. If the kingdom falls so does the people.

 

paramount writes in “Solomon’s Perjury: Episode 11” comment #2:

the scene that stood out to me in this episode was the one with kyung-moon & so-woo at the river (nothing good ever happens at the river…)
it was disgusting & disturbing that an adult would say such hateful things to a high school student who he KNEW had been in a psychiatric hospital, but at the same time i understood an iota of kyung-moon’s frustration. when he called out so-woo for blaming society, i immediately thought “external locus of control.”
when someone views their circumstances as a product of the society they are living in/forces beyond their control as opposed to decisions they have made to get to that point, that person has a strong external locus of control. i remember a professor of mine claiming it was often associated with depression, & to me so-woo was the walking embodiment of this example.

honestly, it can be very difficult to deal with someone who consistently believes their life is controlled by factors they cannot influence. because if they truly feel that way, it’s very difficult to give them hope. but in today’s corrupt society i can’t exactly blame so-woo for thinking that way. i just wish someone had been there to tell him “it really does get better.”

this drama is so heartbreaking & raw. i’m thoroughly impressed with the actors & look forward to following them in the future.

Steph:

It almost seemed to me that his breaking point was when KyungMoon started saying all that vile and disgusting stuff to him.
Much of this was like a pile, and it just kept growing and growing. First the school strands him, no longer being able to help as the Night watchman, and as a result he no longer received any of the contact that he was used to. He was cut of from all the other students in whom he wanted to help, and in return he felt a sense of camaraderie, even if he had to hide in the shadows.
Yet, he was able to endure. He was cracking but he wasn’t completely broken yet. He could have been repaired. I feel like when KyungMoon said, “Don’t be so delusional just because you’re treated as a hero on the internet. In the real world, no one would accept a person like you.” And those words were uttered to him, it was a direct attack that broke a piece inside of him.
Much like a fragile glass, when it has small cracks it can still be repaired and it can still be used. Yet when a glass is shattered, all hope is lost and it can never be regained again. And that’s what it seems like happened to SooWoo.
They did such a good job at showing how much words can actually inflict pain and bring despair. Rather than suffering from physical abuse, it was the mental abuse (including his history of mental illness) was what made him break down and cry.

 

While the finale inspired a lot of beanies to share how the show touched them in some way. Starting with Candy’s comment #11 in “Solomon’s Perjury: Episode 12 (Final)”:

Ji hoon shouldn’t be blamed for running away. Sure,his friend was depressed but let’s not forget that they are just kids. How mature are we at that age? He did everything he could but when emotions take over your senses..well.. Suicide is a split-second decision sometimes. Ji hoon may not have fully grasped just how fragile So-woo was at that moment. Remember,he himself was emotionally shaken after seeing his mother’s ashes. I do wish we had more information about So-woo’s family though. Was there nobody who cared for him? It’s a sad world where children have to grow up by themselves,starving for affection and wondering if anyone will ever care for them,warts included. Only when you move past that stage you realise that life can get better and that everything is just a phase which passes. But when the world you grow up in has never had any light,how can you know if it ever will? That’s why such children need elders to tell them that it’ll surely be alright one day. Imagine then,the trauma to his young mind when Kyungmoon tells So-woo that he’ll never be accepted in the society? Ji hoon,Joon young and Woo-hyuk…3 boys who could have ended up like So-woo. And all 3 on different,better paths in life (partly) thanks to him. I wonder how many more lives will change for the better as an aftermath of this trial.
Closing with a line from Healer- “There are too many people who suffer unjust deaths but don’t merit so much as a mention in the newspapers. Even if we can’t tell all of their stories,we wanted to tell at least one of them. We remember you.” Dear So-woo,I hope you didn’t drink the tea so you can come back and see how you’ve touched the lives of the people around you. If you have,then farewell Magpie. You will be remembered.

 

Katy in #13:

You know, at first I was really mad at how jihoon just left so woo. But while a part of me is still upset, his final interaction with so woo is an extremely important lesson. When ones emotions overcome their senses, awful consequences follow. Jihoons anger overcame his sense that his friend would commit suicide, and as a result his friend died. Sowoos depression overcame his sense that spring would come, and as a result he committed suicide. This is a valid and important lesson that everyone needs to know. And I’m glad that this show executed this lesson in many different ways throughout the show. This is a kdrama everyone should see. While not flashy, the show has a lot of impact, which is what truly matters in my book.

 

MistyIsles (#23):

This was my favorite kind of story: dark and sad and haunting — at times delving crushingly deep into despair — and bursting with hope. It left me wanting literally nothing more than just a little more time with the characters, to see what kind of amazing adults they turn out to be. Everything wrapped up very neatly, but it didn’t have to — they each made their own happy endings (beginnings, really) possible by never giving up or letting go, and instead learning to stand up and speak out against injustice. They proved they could change their world, and it makes me want to live in the world I’m confident they’ll go on to create. I’m sad this show went so unnoticed because I find its message so powerful and inspiring and needed. We can’t know what the future will be like — good or bad — but that should be a source of hope, not a destroyer of it. Uncertainty means we have the power and the opportunity to have a say in how things will turn out, both for ourselves and for others.

But I can’t stop thinking about the darkness of it, too, because I’m so impressed and horrified that it went so deep. To think that Ji-hoon threw his whole self into trying to find an answer for why So-woo should live… and he failed. And he broke himself in the process. So when they were face-to-face on the rooftop, he could only lash out in pain and he — who loved So-woo most, the one person So-woo turned to for a reason to live — told him just go ahead and jump. And. So-woo. Did. And Ji-hoon was left, alone, buried in guilt, still without an answer to So-woo’s question or even fully understanding why So-woo was asking it in the first place. I think that’s what he was really looking for in the trial: more than just to expose the school’s corruption or find out exactly who said or did exactly what to make So-woo lose all hope, Ji-hoon was still trying to answer that question for himself — to prove that wrongs can be righted and things do get better. It’s interesting, because the answer he finally arrives at is quite similar to what Seo-yeon told Joon-young way back in the first episode, but the difference is now Ji-hoon has learned it from the others AND proven it to himself.

 

starlightvtn shares this quote in “Cheese in the Trap movie courts Park Ki-woong to play Baek In-ho” comment #2.7.2.3:

“One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgemental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are.”
by Sophia Dembling.

 

Where would our sageuks be without corrupt and oppressive nobles that inspire revenge? WishfulToki starts an interesting discussion in #2.1 of “Rebel: Thief Who Stole the People: Episode 2”:

There is a basic moral question here, which I love and always leaves me torn: do the ends justify the means? I can’t condone the fact that Ahmogae was stealing, but I so wanted him to buy his and his family’s freedom. He didn’t really have another way of making money since his master refused to free him and made it very difficult (I mean, how could he expect to get 10 rolls of cotton for some rotten-looking fish?) I profoundly detest the greedy wife and have the impression that even if Amogae had procured money by honest means she would have found a way to take it from him.

pogo:

I can’t find it in my heart to hold it against people when they break the law out of desperation, or because of systemic injustice. And slavery counts as a pretty good example of both, Amogae’s plotting/stealing his way to freedom actually makes me like him more as a character.

Kiara:

These upper class yangbans and landowners are so rich and untouchable because of their high status. They make the law to protect themselves while they exploit and steal from the lower class peasants.
For example, the peasants/servants had to pay taxes to their masters and on top of that there is another tribute tax that is being imposed on them.
When these so called masters pay tribute to the states the money and goods are being charged and paid for by the poor servants who has very little and nothing to begin with. Then there is grain loans etc etc that the show might explore later.

When the peasants steal from them the law punished them severely. This is pretty messed up.

There is no moral on both sides but I do sympathized with the poor peasants. They have no voice, the law, the government are clearly not on their side.
Where and who should they turn to for justice?

pogo

They make the law to protect themselves while they exploit and steal from the lower class peasants.

It’s surprising how applicable that sentence is, even today. Tax breaks/tax evasion galore for the rich, while the goods common people consume are taxed i.e. money comes out of the pockets of regular people, including the poorest and most vulnerable.

You can read the rest of the discussion here.

 

Arya asks for help balancing kdramas and life in comment #51 of “Open Thread #485”:

Hi, guys, this is my first time commenting here. I’m always reading everyone else’s brilliant commentary. ?

I wanted to ask about some tips on how to balance school work (college/high school) and watching dramas. Sometimes I just feel so frustrated with the lack of time. I am also a procrastinator which definitely doesn’t work in my favor. I will be starting college soon and I’m pretty nervous, even though I know it will be fun, I just tend to overstress these kinds of things. Any tips on balancing school life, and about doing well in college?

Thanks!

hasy:

I can DEFINITELY chime in here!!! Since ten years later, I’m still doing it at work. ? First of all, I know dramas are very important but having a social life is VERY important as well. I think one thing you would notice is that college life may seem to pass you by.

I can only say that you should limit to what dramas interest you most. STICK to those. Or even WAIT until the episodes come out, then marathon it with your new college friend. There are A LOT OF people in college who ALSO watch korean dramas. Bond with them over that. It may seem hard, but school and your social life SHOULD come first. ? You can watch dramas ANYTIME, even YEARS later. Experiences can’t always be made up. Have fun!

Cozybooks:

Hi there! Welcome to OT! ^^ That’s a constant question for me too (I just started college recently). I think the biggest thing for me is making sure I have a single set time when I’m watching dramas. If I allow myself to watch them whenever… I watch them all the time. So I’ve been working really hard lately to limit my drama watching to a set time of day, and then I have to force myself to be productive/social during the rest of the day. Good luck! ^^

harmonyfb:

I’ve found that setting up a schedule wherein I get to do nothing but watch dramas helps.

For example: It doesn’t matter how busy I am at work, during the week I spend my lunch hour watching a drama. I’ve given myself permission to spend that hour relaxing.

I use it as a reward, too – if I fold laundry, I get to watch a kdrama while I’m doing it. If I finish all the adulting on Saturday, I can binge-watch on Sunday.

I’d advise setting yourself a schedule. If you finish your coursework & studying, you get to watch XX number of episodes, that kind of thing. That way, you build that internal self-discipline, AND you make watching even more enjoyable, because you can feel superior about it. ?

 

Feel free to share more tips below! (We know we’ll be reading all of them…)

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my work (well one of them) is such that I can do it while watching dramas: embroider, sew, knit and such. it would be too boring to pull out threads from a finished felt if I didnt have a drama on the background. and often I don´t finish it well into the night, so I can see several episodes during that time.

most of all, to FEEL like there is a balance between work and play, don´t cheat yourself. if there is a project I need to finish I do that and then watch dramas without guilt. (but usually I still can´t JUST watch, I have to like repair socks or something. cause I know if I don´t have something in my hand, I will grab the mouse and fast forward.)

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Ahhh, the challenge of balancing drama watching with school and your social life. I'm a Junior in college and think I've learned a lot about this. Let me give you some tips.

- Don't make the mistake I did: watching dramas or even just reading recaps while waiting for class to start. At least not during your first year. You might also want to avoid doing it while eating lunch. These times are great times to strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Trust me, you don't want to find yourself having no one to talk to in your class halfway through the semester because you didn't bother to talk to anyone at the beginning.

- Any time someone invites you to do something, don't use drama watching as an excuse even if you're in the middle of a really good episode. The drama can wait!

- Don't try to take drama watching breaks in the middle of studying or writing a paper. It won't work. You will end up watching way more than you intended to. Instead, figure a reasonable amount of work that you should get done that day and THEN, once you have completed everything, watch your dramas.

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Ditto all of this. It's been a long time since I was in college and I followed these rules. Now that I'm a working professional, I also follow these rules. Real people first. Dramas can wait. Will just sleep a little less. :)

It's also better to save marathoning for long weekends and vacations. I remember sticking to on air dramas so I only have 1 or 2 hours of new material to watch each day.

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The marathoning advice is also good! I do the same thing, the only time I watch completed dramas during the semester is when no current dramas interest me.

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That's a good way of thinking about on air dramas! I usually prefer to marathon over the weekend, but lately I've been watching airing dramas as a way to officially switch off from academic work at the end of the day. Otherwise, if I work too late my mind can't stop thinking even when I go to bed, and I end up having sleep problems.

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I'm extra busy this semester since I'm working part-time too at night... but I made a deal with myself that I'd watch one or two drama/kshow per day. Good thing is that there's a lot of new dramas these days, so I'd be extra picky. I'll watch the pilot episode first and if I like it, I'd stick to that drama... I can marathon the other dramas another time cos there's bound to be that one drama that you wouldn't
ike... or it might get so boring halfway, then I'd dropped it immediately and then start a new dramas.n

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Wow. I never thought of the way people interpret quiet people. I have always been deemed shy growing up so because of those comments I always try to put in the effort to engage in a group or conversation and not expect people to approach me. I've learned that being quiet is not always a good thing and this quote has certainly solidified it. Because sometimes it's true.

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Yeah, I realised long time ago that my shy nature was being interpreted as aloof and arrogant (WHAT). Since then my strategy is basically to join a group with a smile (unless it's so awkward that I'd just rather not), mainly as a listener, and then ask questions to contribute to the conversation. Other times, if I don't feel like joining in I won't, and let other people think what they will.

That is, except when I randomly run into someone who watches dramas or is a Lord of the Rings fan. Then we have plenty to talk about. :)

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As a fellow LOTR fan, there's a deep question that must be answered:

Tom Bombadil, in or out?

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On first reading the book, I thought out. But re-reading made me change my mind. Anyway, definitely out for the movie version.

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Oh, I LOVE Dave's "Goblin in 4 Minutes"! It's hilarious and actually pretty accurate. I thought it was weird and lame at first, but when I kept watching, I found myself dying laughing because of all the references and how true everything was. His interview with actor Ma Dong-seok is pretty entertaining, too! Also love his pronunciation video with his friends where they pronounce words in American, Chinese, Korean and Japanese accents.

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is Saimdang being recapped? I missed the first recap and when I didn't see a graphic for the show below "in progress" I guessed not. As unbelievable as that seemed!

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The constant struggle! I haven't been around these parts as much because I've been trying to "balance" better. Miss my DB when that happens, though!

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My advice about watching dramas would be to watch it and think if it as time for yourself, after having a stressful day or having spent days on a hard essay, but social life and sleep are also important so watch what really interest you and won't feel like wasted time. If there are too much dramas or your daily ife is busy just save it to marathon it later ;) there will always be a vacation or holiday or day-off that you'll wonder what to do! Just watch it with crisps and popcorn and enjoy it then, hope I was a bit of help?

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Oh my! That Goblin in 4 is pretty funny.

I actually like Saimdang, even if it feels old school. We don't need logic or reason or reality to like a show.

We didn't see any of SSH in 3 or 4, but he has to come back, he's the lead. Or are they tricking us and actually making it Yang Se Jong?
Beware - spoilers for ep 2: Here is my first poem for the beautiful man.

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Oh jomo, a poem as lovely as the man! so excited to forward this to my best friend, SSH is her KD true love. Almost her first love, but CTH beat him to it. How about that, a woman so broad-minded that her loves span those two faces? (Joke, I'm hoping she sees this).

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That was an awesome recap, jomo, I like how you highlighted the important parts only and left out the entire plot. Who cares about the story, anyway.

Beware! Spoilers for ep 2 ahead!

When A Man Loves Saimdang: Episode 2

1. Hand Towel is sooooo beautiful.

2. The tall hat brings out the blackness and thickness of those brows to perfection. Why, I could pen an entire sonnet about how that tall hat complements the curve, shape and thickness of those brows.

3. Beneath those brows, those incredibly long, curl-at-the-end eyelashes fan out like a fan. There’s this scene where he has his eyes closed and he is just so heartbreakingly beautiful. What can I say, no one does eyelash scenes as good as he.

4. He looks mighty grim and serious in his serious scenes. I can’t tell what he’s feeling, except it’s SERIOUS, because he’s put on his Unsmiling Face, but hey, our guy’s like that: cool as a cucumber, unfathomable like The Great Wall of China. Heck, who knows he could have that same grim, serious expression in his eyes if he were thinking homey things like how tight his new breeches feel, and that his legs are sweaty, and he can’t, just can’t, abide another second without showering. Ah, the enigma of this man makes me swoon.

5. The most emotional part for me was when he’s sparring with his aunt, and she’s threatening to kill herself, and he uncoils those beautiful, long, clothed legs of his, and mutters, “Oh, my legs!” this scary voice started shrieking, “Your legs are fine! You just need to take off those breeches! They’re squeezing the life out of them beauties!” Gave myself quite a shock when I realized that voice was coming out of ME.

6. The scene where he meets the heroine: such an intense scene, with him staring at her for like forever, as she sails beatifically slow-mo past him. I’m not sure what that stare was meant to convey: sadness? Anger? Regret? Shock? Sometimes he can be TOO enigmatic. I burst into a fit of giggles when I saw him standing there in the distance staring at her. Now you know why I love Hand Towel so much. He always makes me happy.

7. He hasn’t gotten angry yet. I realise he’s fine as long as he doesn’t get angry. He’s like The Hulk. Because he becomes POSSESSED the moment he gets angry. Strange, weird things happen. He starts tilting. His eyes start rolling. His eyes get so BIG I worry about his eyeballs falling out. He smashes things. Like the mirror (he loves to smash glass). He throws things about (paper stuff like books…guess he’ll have to settle for paintings here). He hollers AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Sometimes he hollers BEFORE he does all the tilting and eye stuff. Sometimes he hollers AFTER the tilting and eye stuff. It depends. But the hollering is a given. It’s like Xmas presents during Xmas. It’s part of the whole package.

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I'm going to die before Saimdang is over if Jomo and YY continue like this, Chai!!!!

Too bad its not being recapped at db

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There is no surviving YY. You just have to die every time you read her posts.

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Goblin in 4 minutes is just lolololololol
Feel like i rewatching the drama all over again.

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I'd like to add my two cents to that people interpreting your silence discussion:

The quote does not mean for you to actively change who you are in order to not be viewed as rude/aloof/depressed. I saw this quote before on Instagram, and it struck me deep. I've always been shy since I was a small kid, but it's been slowly fading away. However, in new situations with new people, I'm still considered quite shy. Thus I spoke out more, to the point where my words didn't quite ring true and my energy was drained trying to be someone I was not comfortable with being. So the moral of this is please don't change who you are, because that's not the purpose of the quote.

On one hand, this quote can be taken as an eye-opener. Humans are egocentric by nature, so we've always viewed our worlds according to us, how stuff affects us, etc. It takes a lot for us to realize that how we view ourselves may not be how others perceive us - so we have to tell them. This can remind you to be more open and vulnerable to your loved ones or close friends, especially at those times when you tend to bottle up your feelings more or whenever a misunderstanding occurs (you won't believe how many problems occur just because two people believe that each's perspective about the other is the correct one and thus do not communicate).

On the other hand, this quote can also be a firm reminder for you: that no matter how much you try, you will never be able to control how others see you. You simply can't. People will form opinions of you based on their own perspectives, experiences in life, judgments and things they've seen/heard about you, which may or may not be true. They fill in the gaps about you using their own feelings and instinct. Hence, who you are in their perspective is NOT who you are in real life. This is why I keep telling others not to base your self-esteem on others' opinions and be firm in knowing who you are. If you know who you are and who you aren't, opinions of other people will roll off you like wind. You'll be able to live life more freely, with a much more open heart. For me, that's how I perceive this quote to be. :)

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Your interpretation does actually make it more clearer. It's rather hard being yourself in a group that's more outgoing than you really are. Being told I'm shy growing up made it seem like a life goal to prove them all wrong. But I shouldn't have put their opinions into consideration in the first place.

I like the positive interpretation you made of this quote. =)

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What a balanced interpretation, thanks!!!

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On starlightvtn's comment or quote above I hope it doesn't serve as justification for any victimisation that shy, quiet or introverted people may feel regarding how they are perceived by other people.

The truth is that introverts are just as capable of passing judgments or making up stories about people they don't know, whether quiet or not. In a coaching training based on Meyer Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) I participated in some years ago, introverts and extroverts are asked to give their impressions of their opposite personality types. While introverts are expectedly described as shy, aloof, quiet and non-social, extroverts are described as noisy, attention seeking, insensitive etc.

Not surprisingly, both sides vehemently disputed all these assertions and gave reasons as to their behaviour. Introverts: I prefer to observe and see how I can make myself useful/I don't believe in making a lot of noise to distract people.
Extroverts: I need to liven up the atmosphere and start the flow of ideas, encourage people to interact etc.

Hence whether introvert or extrovert, we are all responsible for overcoming any wrong perception of ourselves and the best way is to keep lines of communication open, interact with sincerity while harbouring compassion.

On the other side, when it comes to passing judgments or deriving perceptions of other people, sarai's comment above on needing to look beyond the surface value of things is particular pertinent, because I recall an earlier post where a commenter remarked that the Sunny character in Goblin is shallow and superficial since she does nothing much in the show except for eating snacks and waiting for a prince.

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extroverts are described as noisy, attention seeking, insensitive etc.
Extroverts: I need to liven up the atmosphere and start the flow of ideas, encourage people to interact etc

You said the same thing but in a different manner, giving it a positive spin. For an introvert, sometimes 'to liven the atmosphere' is akin to making noise. Silence is not bad or uncomfortable. And 'ecouraging people to interact' when the introvert takes it slow and might not wish to interact, is being insensitive. But on the other hand, we do need extroverts to liven up the atmosphere and quicken the speed of interaction. So it comes down to persceptive, mood and a strong impression of an incident.

I don't know how extroverts think about introverts. So i cannot comment on the other half.

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I'm a college student right now and I have been suffering from serious drama binge watching in my year 1 and 2 because I only watched completed dramas. In Year 2 Fall semester, during my finals period of 2 weeks, I completed four seasons of God Quiz. I screwed up one course with a C+. I was on exchange in Year 2 Winter Semester last year so I marathoned Signal and Reply 1988. Did pretty well with minimal studying. Last semester I decided to change my drama watching habit because I was on the brink of failing one module which I didn't understand completely. I decided to watch only currently airing dramas and it works. One episode every single day. One hour per day and I can't marathon the drama. I passed the course that I thought I would final with a B+ and that was good enough for me.

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Hi guys, since we are discussing finding balance,I thought I would ask for a little help.

I'm new to kdramas (started watching BOF in December 2016 & my life has never been the same)

I feel like im struggling with being emotionally Balanced when I watch dramas. E.g. I'm watching hwarang at the moment & my heart literally beats faster at the story line (FYI it's frustrating) I had the same feeling when I was watching Descendants of the Sun. I get really nervous especially when something huge is happening or things are not going the way I expect them to.

I have watched a lot of TV shows/series (not kdrama) & I don't think I have been this affected by anything else. (Is this a kdrama side effect that I should be worried about?)

I think I'm struggling with getting too emotionally and mentally involved with these dramas & I want it to stop. I just want to watch a good show without feeling drained because of the story line. How can I stop myself from getting so involved?

Any advice will be welcome.
Thanks,
A Kdrama Newbie

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I had similar feelings when I first started watching dramas, being so caught up in the story that I was literally biting my fingernails, pausing the screen if the suspense was too much, and gasping when something happened. Once you realise that these are just stories, not real, you can step back and not get too invested.

Also, after watching a number of dramas you learn to read the tropes of the story (car of doom, noble idiocy, cliff of death, etc.) so things don't seem that exciting anymore. I used to consider a drama good when it wrung my emotions (yeah, I know) but lately dramas don't even make me feel anything. FYI that is frustrating.

Finally, you may want to choose your dramas carefully. I can't watch thrillers because it overwhelms my senses and imagination. I can't just walk away afterwards like nothing happened. I tend to prefer rom-coms, slice of life, coming-of-age, fantasy and historical dramas.

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Dear Newbie: Before I started watching Kdramas 4 years ago, no US/UK TV show was even mildly interesting. Then my son introduced me to BOF. I was completely sucked in. I cried, swore, and cried some more. Why did it bring up such powerful feelings? I thought maybe it was a one time thing. Then Secret Love Affair happened, and it pushed nearly every emotional button I had and then some. I knew when I threw my tablet into the local riverbed after the last episode I had gone way too far emotionally. I literally cried for weeks after show ended. I finally found my way back to some semblance of balance after writing 100K words of FF, taking up the piano, and starting a blog where I can write my emotions about Kdramas in a (hopefully) constructive way instead of destroying electronic devices.
I highly encourage you to write when you get those nervous feelings when you watch dramas. Even if no one but you reads it. You might be surprised at the insight you will gain in other areas of life. There's a reason you feel the way you do, and the show is bringing it to your attention.
I agree about choosing your shows carefully. If you find the content disturbing, drop it. Life is too short, and there's too many other dramas available!

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KDrama newbie. If you're at that first stage of drama watching, when everything is bright and shiney and oh so new, and the FEELS are overwhelming, I suggest that you keep off watching Answer Me 1988 for a while. That drama gutted me - jaded drama watcher of decades that has watched every Song Jinah drama live - so much that I had to do into denial hibernation for 12 hours after crying buckets of tears. So if anyone tells you to give it a try, just don't. Walk away slowly and watch Answer Me 1997 instead.

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Somehow I never got around to Reply 1988... I really struggle with the long TvN episodes.

Reply 1997 was a breezy, easy watch. Recommend it for feels that leave you with a smile on your face. Also Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo.

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Reply 1988 comunity is amazing. There was a charecter I didn't like in earlier episodes but at the end of it I cried when she did. Even if you remove the OTP, the ending is heartful. It is just the beanies here scaring you cause their ship sunk.

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Hello friends,

Thanks for the advice above. I will definitely take it on board. Reading your responses has given me some relief about where I am right now & im glad you also gave me some pointers. Especially the one on choosing my dramas properly.

Thank you, thank you, thank you !

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