hey all! i am sorry i have been using this as a personal diary. i just feel like i was able to be more fun and enjoy dramas and clown on them and analyze and now…it was one thing that could keep me less anxious. there isn’t anything that’s so far caught my fancy. i have so many films to watch, a lot of art to do, soooo SOOOOO much to read. for knowledge, pleasure, my future.

i do PA work for this black woman who has noted many theaters that haven’t spoken up on what’s happened. so i am glad that i have that. when we can truly mingle and go outside (though with many changes i am sure) i hope my better personal life comes.

anyway…i digress. i really love to just…talk about my thoughts. and have people share with me. or even know someone is listening. i know you will all say, “don’t apologize” but DB has been a very peaceful place for me. a place where i have kind of gotten to know myself more. i always wish i could be more present for you. sometimes i don’t know if i’m actually being human but know that my feelings for you all, especially those i interact with frequently, are sincere.

i am way better right now. i can’t go back full-force into organizing (and i can’t even go outside, really but people have been doing trainings and stuff…) i haven’t been able to talk to org friends bc frankly they remind me of pain. just knowing they are there with me. i can barely talk to them. but i’m not going to die so there’s that. my parents are…who they are (LOL) but hm. i am getting finances together and after 28 years of life i am finally getting a credit card (anyone who has had toxic parents probably knows how little you seem to know about the world whilst being mature.)

all over the place as usual. have you been watching anything good? i was honestly sick of hearing korean lol and the storylines were bugging me. and i am not particularly pleased with korean media rn. but i miss it here…i will be back. then you’ll be like “shit, she’s fucking bugging me and won’t shut up.”

hope you can answer, hope you are well. i think some of you may like this, “Is Prison Necessary? RWG might change your mind” and here is the link https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/17/magazine/prison-abolition-ruth-wilson-gilmore.html

oh and i had to buy a new computer and it is refurbished and i despise mac and seeing that money go from my account…mate….i can kinda make bad jokes again!!!

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    please know i think of you. i feel like i ask a lot of emotional labor. i know that’s probably my own guilt and feelings i have to move on from. but i just can be better. i hope you’re having fun today.

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    No need to be watching kdrama to hang out here, just drop by and be yourself! We read you (and miss you when you don’t show up for a while)

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    im glad youre doing better!

    i havent really watched any new kdrama since apoym ended. nothing has caught my interest. kdramaworld has forsaken me when i needed it most…!

    anyway, nobody thinks you’re bugging anyone and i personally enjoy reading about your thoughts on kdrama, life, the world, activism, and anything else, even if i dont always have anything interesting to say about it, and i live on the other side of the ocean. i bet many others feel the same. so… dont worry about it!

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      i hope something catches you soon! that’s the last thing i saw as well (though i haven’t finished.)

      omg it really does seem like when we need it the most it’s just (poof) nothing then when we don’t….it all comes rushing at once….

      thank you so much for saying so, i will keep that in mind. i love the world so on the other side counts for me too like i hope you’re doing okay and safe.

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    *in mom voice* Build your credit slowly by using your credit card sparingly and paying it off all at once when possible so you don’t give the bank your money.

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    Haven’t watched much Korean dramas either. Don’t worry about it. Just watched the classic TW-drama Bromance. Amazing chemistry and makjang-like story.

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      u liked it???? omg tell me more

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        It’s about a girl Pi Yanuo who knows how to fight and dresses as a guy to hide her gender until her 26th birthday (because reasons). She gets involved with the rich, handsome Du Zifeng, the son of an powerful family. Because she saves him and his sister in the same day, she is asked by his mother to be Zifeng’s friend, which translates to being sworn brothers (complete with a blood promise).

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