Finally catching up on on Unfamiliar Family and I just can’t with Big Noona. (Just finished ep. 11, and half of 12.) She is the most selfish, spiteful, hateful person. Look, I have deep sympathy for her situation, both the marriage and the birth secret. But honestly, sitting her siblings down and being like “I’m done with you. Also treat mom better.” is just so f*cking hypocritical on her part. (And I know, I know, it doesn’t stick, but that doesn’t make it less cruel.)
Eun-joo literally treats her mom like trash her entire adulthood and then, the moment she finds out the truth she’s mom’s number one cheerleader and the other two (who are still her freaking siblings) are apparently terrible children who don’t deserve her, even though those two are the ones who gave mom the love and affection she needed for most of their lives.
I get her pride, and I get that she’s a gooey marshmallow on the inside of a cold shell. I get that so much. But that doesn’t negate her treatment of people. She is spiteful and causes pain to others just because she is in pain and seems to think that it’s an eye for an eye situation. I even understand her pride making it hard for her to accept that her father really loves her (even though it’s so obvious that he genuinely and sincerely adores her and sees her as only his child). I get how hurt and betrayed she feels by her parents and husband. I’ve been there – family betrayal is the worst. That still doesn’t excuse her behavior.
And here’s the thing – I get that Eun-hee is no saint, basically cutting people out of her life for a single infraction in the past. She continues to make mistakes, but she also seems to want to grow, even if she does repeat her mistakes. (Also, this entire family needs to stop assuming the worst with the bare minimum evidence.) She so clearly regrets her past; she doesn’t condone her own behavior. It’s equally clear that these are the kinds of things that have caused a strain on her self-esteem – I think it’s not so much that Eun-hee was mad at her sister and Chan-hyuk as she was at herself. I think it was a punishment for herself as much as them.
But back to my main point – Eun-joo. I know she gets better in the episodes to come. I’ve read the recaps. The sister bonding is happening now and I love it. I know she can’t really let go of her family as easily as she acts like she can. That doesn’t make me any less angry at her. You don’t treat people the way she does. I also have a complicated family, and I get it. But I can be a b*tch, and even I don’t think I have never been that terrible.
(Also, I lowkey think Eun-joo was the result of an assault which would explain a lot about mom, but I kind of hope not, because that would be too cliche and kind of unnecessary at this point. Also, I don’t really want to see how Eun-joo reacts to that information.)
She almost had a personality transplant. Or maybe not that extreme but some thorns were definitely removed in 13/14. Because it’s a drama i can forget her horribleness but if my sister ever acted the way EJ did, i don’t know what I’d do! At least EH knows she’s made mistakes and is actively trying to do better, but EJ..not so much it seems.
Yeah, I read the recaps, and it’s like they all have selective amnesia as to her horrible treatment of everyone. Like, I understand forgive and forget, but that doesn’t make this less awful of her. If my brother ever did that to me I’m pretty sure the trust between us would be broken. Like, Eun-joo literally treats her family like they’re disposable and the only relationships that matter a blood ones (all of a sudden too, because remember, she treated her mom like trash before this). I honestly agreed with her husband when he said he found it laughable that she wanted a child when she treated her own family so terribly. It was a cruel thing to say in the moment, but it holds a lot of truth too. And that’s not to say Eun-joo would be a bad mother, but she does seem to lack compassion and has this God-complex where she is only ever right or else she’s the victim.
She’s such a deliciously grey and complex character, I loved her for that! She was only one who pushed everyone’s buttons, including us viewers. Without siding or disagreeing with her at any point, I loved watching her make her decisions. I found it a study in how to sketch a character (scriptwriting as craft, etc).
Oh, I definitely agree with that – she’s a great character study for sure. She’s grey a lot of the time, and I understand a lot of her motivations and empathize a lot with her. I even understand her clod reactions to things. I get that she isn’t an emotional person, and she’s pure rational thought, which I love seeing in a female character. I actually relate a lot to her because I too do not like being openly emotional and tend to spell things out bluntly for people.
But her treatment of her family is terrible – and I know she has her reasons – but like…it’s not justified in any way. Her reactions are bigger and crueler than any situation warranted. And I’ve dealt with similar situations in my life, I know what it’s like to learn things are a lie. Her husband’s family – they’re awful, I do not blame him from distancing himself. But her family, while they are messy and can be tough on one another, truly love each other, and the way she disregards that over and over started to grate on me. Especially her 180 on her mom and then acting as if she had been a great daughter and the other two were terrible. And I realize a lot of that is her own guilt and insecurity coming out, but that doesn’t make it right. But it does make it interesting.
Haha – I relate to her a lot as well, for exactly the same reasons you mention! She felt a lot like me, unlike Eun-hui, whom I could not relate to at all.
I hear you on the treatment of her family, but I think everyone has treated everyone badly in this story – either wilfully or mistakenly. So for that reason, I don’t especially hate on EJ :/ I can understand her reasons, just as I can understand maknae’s reasons for what he does towards the end (won’t spoil, if you haven’t reached there), and Eun-hui’s for cutting off etc.
TBH, this was one show in which I didn’t feel emotionally invested, but was just fascinated at how the plot developed. I was looking at it consistently as craft – writing, plotting, acting, directing – unlike, other shows where I will the heroine into doing something that really I want done. So my take on the show has been at a distance.
As a meta exercise, I found my own viewing of this show very different and interesting. I begin to think it’s an evolution of myself as a viewer, I felt 😀 But then I start watching something as giddy happy as Memorials and I’m right back where I started….
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SnarkyJellyfish
July 20, 2020 at 12:29 AM
Finally catching up on on Unfamiliar Family and I just can’t with Big Noona. (Just finished ep. 11, and half of 12.) She is the most selfish, spiteful, hateful person. Look, I have deep sympathy for her situation, both the marriage and the birth secret. But honestly, sitting her siblings down and being like “I’m done with you. Also treat mom better.” is just so f*cking hypocritical on her part. (And I know, I know, it doesn’t stick, but that doesn’t make it less cruel.)
Eun-joo literally treats her mom like trash her entire adulthood and then, the moment she finds out the truth she’s mom’s number one cheerleader and the other two (who are still her freaking siblings) are apparently terrible children who don’t deserve her, even though those two are the ones who gave mom the love and affection she needed for most of their lives.
I get her pride, and I get that she’s a gooey marshmallow on the inside of a cold shell. I get that so much. But that doesn’t negate her treatment of people. She is spiteful and causes pain to others just because she is in pain and seems to think that it’s an eye for an eye situation. I even understand her pride making it hard for her to accept that her father really loves her (even though it’s so obvious that he genuinely and sincerely adores her and sees her as only his child). I get how hurt and betrayed she feels by her parents and husband. I’ve been there – family betrayal is the worst. That still doesn’t excuse her behavior.
And here’s the thing – I get that Eun-hee is no saint, basically cutting people out of her life for a single infraction in the past. She continues to make mistakes, but she also seems to want to grow, even if she does repeat her mistakes. (Also, this entire family needs to stop assuming the worst with the bare minimum evidence.) She so clearly regrets her past; she doesn’t condone her own behavior. It’s equally clear that these are the kinds of things that have caused a strain on her self-esteem – I think it’s not so much that Eun-hee was mad at her sister and Chan-hyuk as she was at herself. I think it was a punishment for herself as much as them.
But back to my main point – Eun-joo. I know she gets better in the episodes to come. I’ve read the recaps. The sister bonding is happening now and I love it. I know she can’t really let go of her family as easily as she acts like she can. That doesn’t make me any less angry at her. You don’t treat people the way she does. I also have a complicated family, and I get it. But I can be a b*tch, and even I don’t think I have never been that terrible.
(Also, I lowkey think Eun-joo was the result of an assault which would explain a lot about mom, but I kind of hope not, because that would be too cliche and kind of unnecessary at this point. Also, I don’t really want to see how Eun-joo reacts to that information.)
parkchuna ❤️🍉
July 20, 2020 at 5:50 AM
She almost had a personality transplant. Or maybe not that extreme but some thorns were definitely removed in 13/14. Because it’s a drama i can forget her horribleness but if my sister ever acted the way EJ did, i don’t know what I’d do! At least EH knows she’s made mistakes and is actively trying to do better, but EJ..not so much it seems.
SnarkyJellyfish
July 20, 2020 at 11:05 AM
Yeah, I read the recaps, and it’s like they all have selective amnesia as to her horrible treatment of everyone. Like, I understand forgive and forget, but that doesn’t make this less awful of her. If my brother ever did that to me I’m pretty sure the trust between us would be broken. Like, Eun-joo literally treats her family like they’re disposable and the only relationships that matter a blood ones (all of a sudden too, because remember, she treated her mom like trash before this). I honestly agreed with her husband when he said he found it laughable that she wanted a child when she treated her own family so terribly. It was a cruel thing to say in the moment, but it holds a lot of truth too. And that’s not to say Eun-joo would be a bad mother, but she does seem to lack compassion and has this God-complex where she is only ever right or else she’s the victim.
pickleddragon
July 20, 2020 at 10:17 PM
She’s such a deliciously grey and complex character, I loved her for that! She was only one who pushed everyone’s buttons, including us viewers. Without siding or disagreeing with her at any point, I loved watching her make her decisions. I found it a study in how to sketch a character (scriptwriting as craft, etc).
SnarkyJellyfish
July 20, 2020 at 10:55 PM
Oh, I definitely agree with that – she’s a great character study for sure. She’s grey a lot of the time, and I understand a lot of her motivations and empathize a lot with her. I even understand her clod reactions to things. I get that she isn’t an emotional person, and she’s pure rational thought, which I love seeing in a female character. I actually relate a lot to her because I too do not like being openly emotional and tend to spell things out bluntly for people.
But her treatment of her family is terrible – and I know she has her reasons – but like…it’s not justified in any way. Her reactions are bigger and crueler than any situation warranted. And I’ve dealt with similar situations in my life, I know what it’s like to learn things are a lie. Her husband’s family – they’re awful, I do not blame him from distancing himself. But her family, while they are messy and can be tough on one another, truly love each other, and the way she disregards that over and over started to grate on me. Especially her 180 on her mom and then acting as if she had been a great daughter and the other two were terrible. And I realize a lot of that is her own guilt and insecurity coming out, but that doesn’t make it right. But it does make it interesting.
pickleddragon
July 21, 2020 at 10:11 PM
Haha – I relate to her a lot as well, for exactly the same reasons you mention! She felt a lot like me, unlike Eun-hui, whom I could not relate to at all.
I hear you on the treatment of her family, but I think everyone has treated everyone badly in this story – either wilfully or mistakenly. So for that reason, I don’t especially hate on EJ :/ I can understand her reasons, just as I can understand maknae’s reasons for what he does towards the end (won’t spoil, if you haven’t reached there), and Eun-hui’s for cutting off etc.
TBH, this was one show in which I didn’t feel emotionally invested, but was just fascinated at how the plot developed. I was looking at it consistently as craft – writing, plotting, acting, directing – unlike, other shows where I will the heroine into doing something that really I want done. So my take on the show has been at a distance.
As a meta exercise, I found my own viewing of this show very different and interesting. I begin to think it’s an evolution of myself as a viewer, I felt 😀 But then I start watching something as giddy happy as Memorials and I’m right back where I started….