Beanies how do you deal with family members who simply refuse to listen to what you have to say and are more comfortable simply staying in the problem? How do you ignore them?

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    Through time, I learnt that people never change unless they really want to change themselves, and that doesn’t normally come from people telling them to. Instead, you can do what makes you happy without changing them (trying to make the best out of the situation you’re in knowing you can’t change it)

    For example, they don’t listen to you. Well, people can be wrong sometimes or some most of the time. Just let them say what they want to say without responding knowing that what they say is simply not true. Some are comfortable avoiding dealing with their feelings/problems. You don’t ignore them. You understand that sometimes, people have misconceptions or thoughts or ways to dealing with problems that are different from yours. You don’t have to agree with them, and at the same time you’re not bound to respond to them/contradict them.

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      Thank you M. Its been hard. Its hard balancing your own mental health while looking out for your younger brother. He confessed to me that he has trouble with anxiety and finds himself overthinking way too much and I am trying my best to be supportive but it is exhausting, especially when I know my parents won’t understand

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    Some people are just procrastinators and you have to let them deal with their problems in their own time or when they can feel comfortable dealing with the problem at hand. You have done your part, you can move on feeling comfortable that you have done the right thing. Also, you have to trust them that they will do what is right eventually. Cannot force them your way even if you think your way is the right one. Sometimes, the more you push your way unto them, the more you will have the opposite effect. You have to be hopefull and remain strong and positive. And be patient. That is one thing I learned with my own children, because I was more impulsive and impatient when I was young like them.
    My advice is to keep your mind preocupied with something else so you won’t feel anxious and think about it all the time. Find a hobby, read a book or watch a kdrama. You will see that time is all that it takes for the problem to be solved. And you will spend all that time doing something pleasant for you instead of worrying all the time. Controling your mind and your fears is probably the hardest thing to learn as an adult.

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      Thank you so much for your advice. I will try to incorporate the things that you have suggested. Adulthood seems harder as time goes on and learning to cope with all the stresses and fears seems to be the actual challenge

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        Adulthood is hard and we all have been trying to manage it as best as we can.
        The best conclusion that I have come is that I should focus on things I can control and that started with me and my own thoughts and fears. But that was not as easy for me as for others. When you described what your brother goes through, the anxiety and the overthinking, it is exactly how I was and how my children are. I started to read a lot about it and I found out that meditation helped to quit the mind. When you try to not think about anything, you will see that the mind doesn’t stop and goes on doing its thing. It takes practice to catch that thought, ignore it and quit the mind again. It helped me later to notice when and why I started to get anxious and to learn how to stop it. There are few books, mainly used for sport psychology, that helped me a lot, The chimp paradox and The inner game of tennis. I also blocked for a few months any outside influence that trigered any unecesary anxiety. For me it was the news or movies, anything that tried to influence my thoughts. I remained in the present with real people around me. It was a period of self discovery and I learned how to deal with stress better. But it is something that I work on all the time, it is hard to break old habits.

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          Thank you. I looked up on ways to support people through anxiety and I did advise my brother to give meditating a shot and willing himself to calm down when he feels things are spiralling. I know that is how much I can do, the rest is up to him. I will definitely check out the books you have suggested

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