EPISODE 352. Broadcast on September 18, 2011.
girlfriday: Wow this viewer’s tour is lasting forever. Not that I’m complaining, because it’s adorable. But the boys are on their best behavior because of all the elders, so there’s less misbehavin’ afoot.
javabeans: I think I read that they decided to add the fourth ep when all that Kang Ho-dong stuff went down. Not that they had to scramble for material, I’m sure, since there’s just so many people.
girlfriday: Yeah I’m still torn up about the fact that the viewer’s tour is the last thing we’ll see Ho-dong do on 1N2D.
javabeans: It’s sad that they decided against a farewell trip, but on the other hand, I can’t imagine that it would be a happy trip and not a depressing one anyway.
girlfriday: Yeah, I understand his decision to stick with his retirement and not come back for the farewell, but even if it WERE a cryfest, I feel like it would somehow… help me move on? Hahaha.
javabeans: We’ll all have to move on. Sadly, probably much sooner than later.
girlfriday: *sniff* BUT I DON’T WANNA.
javabeans: Man up, woman!
girlfriday: *pouts* Okay, so we land in Busan and they go from the plane to another row of buses, and I’m wondering if we’re gonna spend the whole one night and two days in transit. Ho-dong and Shi-kyung end up sharing a bus with their teams, and they play 3-6-9 and the perfect pitch game with Grandma 90. She’s better at those games than Tae-woong!
javabeans: (Not that that’s hard. Hee.)
girlfriday: Grandma 91 Kim Sam-soon tells Ho-dong that her team captain Shi-kyung is purty (So. Cute.) and Ho-dong makes a point of saying that he’s rather average, and that he’s 100kg. Shi-kyung’s eyes widen, “What kind of ballad singer weighs 100kg? I think sometimes you think I’m one of your wrestling hoobaes!”
javabeans: Haha. At first I was trying to figure out which of the 20-something ladies she meant, until she clarified she meant Shi-kyung, haha.
girlfriday: And then he sings (kind of to prove that he’s not just a random pretty captain to Grandma, which is awesome).
javabeans: But it’s totally all the 20-something ladies who swoon.
girlfriday: And when he ends with “Grandma, I’ll love you,” everybody swoons. It’s a one-line all-kill.
javabeans: And then it’s Pimp (Grand)Daddy’s turn to sing. Actually it’s not the singing itself that’s hilarious, but the way he delivers the performance.
girlfriday: Ha. It’s the upturned expectations. He totally pulls the rug out from under everybody when he announces an upbeat song and then sings it like… well, like something a 100-year old grandpa would sing.
javabeans: The buses pull into the basecamp, and the teams separate into their rooms. You can see everyone having fun mugging for the fixed cameras, kind of fiddling with it like it’s a toy. The younger teams play games, and then they cut to the 90-year-olds’ rooms, with sageuk music playing in the background and the captions written in that formal ancientspeak. I love how most of the other groups are in summer camp mode in their little rooms, and the 90s room has staff to set things up, make things comfortable, serve, etc., in this huge room.
girlfriday: I like that the teens, 20s, and even 30s groups are doing… the EXACT same thing. It’s pretty funny that once you’re at camp, whether you’re 10 or 39, you play the same games.
javabeans: Shi-kyung slips out to a convenience store to buy ice creams for his team with leftover lunch money, and even buys an extra one to give Na PD. I love that smile on Na PD’s face, like half-pleased and half-abashed, like, “This isn’t how it works, you know!” And then Shi-kyung jokes, “That’ll be 800 won!”
girlfriday: Hahaha. I love how immediately Na PD’s face falls. Like it was the first time anyone’s ever been nice to him, and then his heart got dashed into a million pieces.
javabeans: Dinnertime! Man, this footage makes me hungry. Aw, the little girl has training chopsticks! I don’t think I’ve ever seen or used those, and now I’m wondering how I learned.
girlfriday: I’m sure you learned the same way I did — the hardcore way, where your parents tell you to eat with your chopsticks or starve. Korean people are a little obsessed with proper chopstick usage. It’s nothing short of barbaric to use them improperly, for some reason.
javabeans: I know! I have a cousin who holds his in a weird grip, and he gets flak for it, every single time. It’s part wonder, part disgust.
girlfriday: Yeah it’s the kind of thing my grandma would see and be like, what’s wrong with his parents? Like it’s an affront to civilized dinner tables.
javabeans: So does 3-year-old Ha-eunie have uncultured hippy parents then?
girlfriday: Or maybe the etiquette police has finally loosened up. After a few centuries.
javabeans: I guess my utensil upbringing really stuck, ’cause part of me is thinking, “How will she learn if you just give her a toy? Might as well just give her tongs and a shovel. Do you want her to grow up thinking she’s going to be coddled forever? Do you want her to fail at school and life and become an artist or something?”
girlfriday: *facepalm* I’m thinking the exact same thing! Sigh. I guess that means our grandmas win?
javabeans: The grandmas always win. In the thirtysomething group, Na PD asks which guest is Tae-woong’s year, and when he sees it’s a woman with two children, he gives Tae-woong more grief: “What have you been doing with your life, hyung? You’ve led an empty existence.” But then it backfires on him, when the woman next to him asks, all surprised, “Wait, you’re his hyung?” As in, Na PD looks oooolllllld.
girlfriday: Well that’s what happens when you replace your heart with a lump of coal. You age faster. It’s the price of being an evil mastermind.
javabeans: Omg I love Shi-kyung. He talks to the Kim Sam-soon granny, who had written his name on her hand, but now it’s washed away. They go through a few tries of getting his name right (“Sohn…Sam-ryong? Ah, Sohn Shi-kyung. Oh, Sung Shi-kyung?”). “It’s okay if you don’t remember…” “That’s right, when you’re old like me you don’t have to remember.” “….Kim Sa-soon grandma.” So cheeky.
girlfriday: Hahaha. He points out that they made a drama with her name in it, and she’s like, “Yeah what the hell were they doing with my name?” She swears just like the fictional character! Maybe it really WAS based on her.
javabeans: There’s some downtime while the staff prepares for the evening event, so time for more games and personal talents. Are they all going to perform at the mini-concert? Somebody in the 20s group even brought a violin.
girlfriday: The 20s group visits the grandmas and grandpas, and performs a mini concert. Wow, they actually have someone who can play the gayageum?
javabeans: She plays and sings in the pansori style, and of course the first grandperson to stand up and dance is our resident pimp daddy, showing the younguns how it’s done.
girlfriday: It’s pretty cool, just to see these two age groups interacting in this way. What luck to have someone who can entertain the elders. It puts a huge smile on Shi-kyung’s face.
javabeans: Although he’s the one who totally counts himself out as the team leaders all practice their “twist” number. Aw, Shi-kyung, if Dog Feet Tae-woong can do the twist, I’m sure you can too.
girlfriday: O.M.G. Hyun-moo! Is that dancing? You give new meaning to the term Dog Feet.
javabeans: Ho-dong: “If you’re not trying to be funny, this is a big problem!” The guys all convene to try to teach him, but it’s as hopeless as teaching Tae-woong how to play soccer. Or school games. Or multiplication.
girlfriday: I’m DYING. How can he be so bad? It’s so hilarious to watch everyone attempt to get through to him somehow, but none of it works. It’s almost funnier to watch Ho-dong’s face, just slack-jawed at the badness.
javabeans: It’s actually not that funny at first, but the longer it goes on, it just gets so absurd. It’s the Simpsons rake joke. One rake, eh. Two rakes, meh. Three rakes, yawn. And then you pull out and there’s Sideshow Bob stepping on like three dozen rakes, and it’s hilarious.
girlfriday: Yeah this is 300 rakes.
javabeans: Shi-kyung: “If you’ve learned to dance from ME, that’s really humiliating!”
girlfriday: What puts me over the edge is when Ji-won and Jong-min, the real dancers, turn Hyun-moo’s wrong dance into a new dance altogether.
javabeans: I was just gonna say — do you love them being our Greek chorus?
girlfriday: They’re killing me.
javabeans: And then Ho-dong steps in to say that if Hyun-moo really can’t get it, they’ll all do it the wrong way, aka, Hyun-moo’s way.
girlfriday: Finally Shi-kyung has to puppet-man him, like stand behind and hold his arms and swing them in the right direction. He starts to do it on his own… but then they tell him to stop and start again… Aaaaaand it’s right back to the Hyun-moo dance! PFFFFFT! I’m crying right now.
javabeans: I wonder if Tae-woong loves having someone around who’s worse than him. He’s dying. (Then again, so is everyone else.)
girlfriday: Even Tae-woong couldn’t be this funny if he tried — there’s something just inherently hilarious about the way Hyun-moo moves, like every limb is on a half-second delay. And dyslexic. After a little more practice, it’s time for the big show.
javabeans: Aw, they’re gonna make the grannies sit in the rain? Well, there’s a tent up, but it’s raining.
girlfriday: They don’t seem to care when Hyun Chul shows up onstage. I guess he’s like the gradma’s version of an idol star? Hehe.
javabeans: You think they were trying to get someone who would appeal to everyone, and skewed too safe? But they wanted someone you could sing along to, like at all those concert programs. And the older people seem to be having fun.
girlfriday: And then Jong-min takes to the stage with Koyote, which gets the other half of the audience all riled up. Aw, I love to see Jong-min so confident and energetic onstage. It reminds me that he has that other side to him. He’s like a different person when he’s dancing.
javabeans: It’s funny that way. I remember when I first started seeing Jong-min on variety shows, and being like, “That’s the same guy who’s in Koyote?” Now it’s like the reverse, what with Koyote’s hiatus (Jong-min’s army duty, Bbaek Ga’s brain tumor) and 1N2D’s popularity.
girlfriday: Next up is Ji-young’s salsa with Hyun-moo. I’m already chuckling in anticipation. How come the worst dancer has more dance routines than anybody else?? I’m nervous. Wait… what is he DOING?
javabeans: Not any salsa I’ve ever seen. More like…the Roger Rabbit. I thought the So You Think You Can Dance-ish highlight reel of their rehearsal sessions would have prepared me for this, but no, it did not. He flaps, he slips, he falls! I’m crying. Naturally, they replay the sequence a hundred times, from every possible camera angle. And if you’ve seen this show, you’ll know, there are A LOT of camera angles.
girlfriday: I really didn’t think it was possible to laugh this much from one man’s very limited dance skill set. And then, due to the rainy slippery dance floor, they call for a re-do. Okay, this time I’m at least expecting some dancing to go on…
javabeans: Do you love how vehemently Hyun-moo is blaming the slippery dance floor, while Ji-young is standing there in four-inch strappy heels?
girlfriday: I know! But then the jig is up, because they wipe the floor and start over… and he does the same dance all over again, no better, just less falling.
javabeans: Considering what we’ve seen tonight, I think that’s a victory.
girlfriday: Yeah that is a man who is NOT in control of his own body.
javabeans: It actually looks like he’s a comedian parodying how bad he is. I think it’s even funnier because Ji-young’s so good. Not that he needs anybody present to make him look terrible. But she’s awesome, and he’s like Big Bird, so….
girlfriday: As a performance it’s a letdown after last year’s duet with Ho-dong, but as a comedy routine, they should take that on the road.
javabeans: They’ve had the performances for the senior crowd, for the thirties crowd, and now…the young crowd. Idol band BEAST makes a showing, and the screaming is nonstop. Hey, there’s that pretty boy chef from My Princess.
girlfriday: I was just gonna say, I’ve never seen these guys before, but then I recognized that kid. I love that original idol boy Ji-won is backstage dancing their routine along with them.
javabeans: Ha, a grandma in the 70s group is a BEAST fan, even if she gets Lee Ki-kwang’s name backward and says her favorite is Lee Kwang-gi. Ho-dong asks if he’ll give granny a hug, and she runs into his arms like a teenager. It’s so cute.
girlfriday: The fangirl inside never dies.
javabeans: And of course you can’t correct her, or embarrass her, so Ho-dong keeps calling him Lee Kwang-gi, and leads granny in a cheer, “Lee Kwang-gi fighting!” Finally Ki-kwang corrects her, and she’s all, “But Ho-dong, you said it with me!” Then it’s Shi-kyung’s turn for the mic, and it makes me wish everyone else sang live too, like him, because it’s just so much better. Even if notes get missed, you just can’t compare with live.
girlfriday: All the women go starry-eyed, and for good reason. Aw, the grandmas and grandpas all wave their hands proudly for their team captain.
javabeans: Do you love the twin dorks backstage, with Seung-gi miming playing the violin and Hyun-moo lip-synching along, all faux-passionately? And then for the part I’m sure to rewind a dozen times, the Shi-kyung / Seung-gi duet.
girlfriday: Here we go…. Bromance Duet Time! What, no quip from Shi-kyung about Seung-gi coming out dressed like a prince again? He’s sure to gripe about that later. They didn’t pick a song everyone could sing along to, but there’s a whole lot of soulful staring into each other’s eyes, as promised. Well I’M a happy camper.