EPISODE 420. Broadcast on January 6, 2013.
javabeans: Feast time! The race is over, the loser designated, and the cast and crew all head over to their banquet. It’s octopus theme night, with all sorts of dishes that make me super hungry and a little bit squeamish at the same time. (The live octopus is something I’ve always been curious about but never eaten — the kind that is technically dead, I think, but still wriggling around on the plate and sticks to your mouth.)
girlfriday: Yeah I’m sure that’s a food group I’m missing out on in some way, but I’m okay with that. I like things to be dead before I eat them.
javabeans: Everybody digs in, and then the moment dinner’s over the PD goes up to Jong-min: “Your credit card, please.”
girlfriday: What’s worse is that Jong-min himself had to eat ramyun like all the other losing teams, which makes paying for the feast especially painful.
javabeans: Everyone files out of the dinner hall thanking Jong-min, and he wears that shell-shocked expression on his face where he’s trying to be the gracious host while reeling at the hit to his bank account. I feel like every Korean dad knows this feeling, having fought over the bill for his pride’s sake but secretly wincing in pain on the inside.
girlfriday: Yeah the “No, it’s fiiiiii~ne.” *dead inside*
javabeans: They head over to basecamp, where Bird starts handing out gifts to the members. Aw, it’s a photo album of the guys’ most memorable moments on the show thus far. What an awesome year-end gift. I can’t believe this cast has already been on 20 trips.
girlfriday: Hee, Shi-kyung starts flipping through his book and complains, “Did we really need to make this one a memory?” The photo: smushed face trying to break through double plastic wrap.
javabeans: I love watching the guys’ reactions, because they’re just like us. Marveling and giggling over the hilarious memories. Every now and then someone bursts into laughter, and it’s just so cute.
girlfriday: It is actually amazing that this cast already has so many memories. They still feel new to me.
javabeans: Time flies… when you’re old. Then Bird starts handing out a whole new round of presents to the cast, starting with Seung-woo. Ha, he introduces this gift as “something Kim Seung-woo always carries around with him” and Jong-min guesses, “Curses?”
girlfriday: Heh. He hands Seung-woo a giant box with a scroll and inside are… chocolates? Pffft. Not even very many chocolates. In all fairness it IS what he asks for on every trip.
javabeans: He’s all, “C’mon, I don’t ask for it ALL the time”—all while popping a Twix into his mouth.
girlfriday: He does the smart thing though and asks Bird if he can keep these as his stash and eat them without restrictions when they’re shooting. Bird gives him the okay, which turns the present into something more worthwhile I think.
javabeans: Tae-woong gets the next gift, and the guys guess, “Is it a dog?” Aw, but it turns out to be a bunch of baby booties. Y’know, Tae-woong always exhibits this extra flash of supreme happiness whenever he’s talking about his marriage or his baby that you can’t hide or fake. I love it.
girlfriday: It’s so cute. And his present is way better than chocolates.
javabeans: I was totally just thinking that. But hey, not much trumps brand-new wife and baby.
girlfriday: Okay, Su-geun’s gift is pretty hilariously bad too. He gets lifts for his shoes and a Pororo microphone. Is it supposed to be insulting?
javabeans: TERRIBLE. I’m cracking up. Is it the Pororo lie detector, for Lying Su-geun? Or is it just the most infantile mic they could get for the MC?
girlfriday: LOL, okay it gets worse because Tae-hyun opens his gift next, and it’s kind of awesome. Are they alternating good present/bad present? He gets a neck pillow and fuzzy socks, and other travel sleeping things, because he’s always shuttling back and forth for Jeon Woo-chi. Everyone squeals jealously.
javabeans: Seung-woo bursts out in mock anger (that only seems half-mock) that they’re totally showing favoritism, and that his chocolates were way cheaper. Shi-kyung is next, and everyone jokes that they gave him an empty box because it’s so light. Bird says it’s something he’ll really need.. and he opens it to find a coupon for a trip to the food truck. Okay, that’s a good one. Also super super stingy of the show.
girlfriday: It’s kind of a toss-up which is stingier, this or Seung-woo’s chocolates, though at least he can use his for the next dinner game he loses.
javabeans: Shi-kyung opens up his scroll and reads the messages scrawled on it, which freaking crack me up. They’re all back-handed insults: “Kim Min-jong is the best!” “Best at Ballads: Shin Seung-hoon.” LOL.
girlfriday: Okay, that’s funny.
javabeans: You know what, I think this whole gift thing would’ve been a funny gag if they hadn’t gotten cute with Tae-woong’s. Like if they gave him dog collars instead.
girlfriday: Yeah Tae-hyun and Tae-woong got real presents, which throws the whole thing off balance. But maybe the petty jealous bickering is what they were going for.
javabeans: Omg, Jong-min’s is worse, because it’s also a back-handed insult: It’s a chart on how to learn hangul that Su-geun jokes came from his son’s wall.
girlfriday: Pfft, that’s not even sort of useful.
javabeans: Joo-won gets a box of charcoal? PSSSSH. Shi-kyung: “I feel better now, after seeing that.”
girlfriday: Hee, it’s a pun gift? They say he lacks soot-gi [boldness], so they gave him soot [charcoal].
javabeans: It totally is a pun gag, though I suppose if you’re from the West it carries extra (unintended) connotations. You know, the proverbial lump of coal and whatnot.
girlfriday: Yeah he totally got a lump of coal. Bird Santa sucks.
javabeans: Although, Seung-woo does admit that he was really happy about his chocolates, before he saw the others.
girlfriday: Then it’s time for sleeping games, where they’ll do 3:3 team games with one MC who gets to sleep indoors with the winners.
javabeans: Su-geun suggests that they let Jong-min referee because he’s nursing a back injury. Jong-min looks so touched at the gesture… except that gets everyone balking. They start listing their own complaints for why they should also get special treatment: Seung-woo has a cold, Tae-hyun has a headache, Shi-kyung’s got a concert coming up, and Tae-woong pipes up that he’s got a wedding. LOL. “Weddings are stressful!”
girlfriday: You can’t give an inch on this show. They relent in the end and Jong-min gets to MC. He sets the teams by the order they’re already sitting in (lazy MC!) so the teams are: Su-geun, Seung-woo, Tae-hyun (Marrieds) and Shi-kyung, Tae-woong, Joo-won (Bachelors). The first game is a butt-cushion race. These PDs have a butt thing, don’t they?
javabeans: Not that we’re complaining, I’m sure.
girlfriday: Well no, you can never have too many butt games, butt jokes, or butt dances.
javabeans: They’re just scooting across the floor, but why does it look like Seung-woo’s giving birth to that cushion?
girlfriday: They’re thrashing like they’re riding bulls, only they’re just cushions and they’re not moving forward nearly as much as they’re flailing about.
javabeans: Tae-woong loses to Tae-hyun, and Jong-min quips that he’s Dog Butt now.
girlfriday: He demonstrates how he tried but kept returning to the same spot instead of moving forward on his cushion, and I’m dying of laughter. How does he move that much… but not move at all?
javabeans: Marrieds win the first game, so it’s on to the second game: pillow fight!
girlfriday: Is it wrong that I like the violent games best?
javabeans: I like the humiliating ones. If they happen to also be violent… all the better. Seung-woo goes up against Tae-woong, and goes through this whole gag routine with Su-geun that has me laughing out loud. He really could’ve been a comedian. How will I ever be scared by him now?
girlfriday: I know right? Good thing he’s also a good actor. But it’s hilarious how easily he picks up things that Su-geun tosses out, and puts this Kim Seung-woo flair on it. So anyway, the game: two guys sit on top of a stack of cushions, and rock-paper-scissors. The winner pelts the other with a pillow, and they keep playing till one of them falls. It turns out that hitting puts you in more danger (of toppling over) than being hit.
javabeans: Seung-woo discovers this when he goes in for a hit that has him toppling more than Tae-woong, so then he launches himself at Tae-woong like a missile to try to take him down too. Ha. He doesn’t succeed.
girlfriday: Tae-hyun knocks Tae-woong down in one blow, but Shi-kyung gets revenge for his team pretty quickly. When Su-geun goes up against him, he cries at Shi-kyung to stop making scary faces and fists before hitting. Ha. They last a while, but Shi-kyung knocks him down in the end. So the overall score is tied, and the last match is the Zombie Game.
javabeans: Oh, fun. The Bachelors opt to hunt first, and don blindfolds while the Marrieds are set to the task of evading death (being grabbed and “eaten”).
girlfriday: HAHAHAHA. So the Bachelors put on their blindfolds and get ready to start, and the Marrieds are cackling away at some secret plan. Suddenly the captions point out: “Where is Su-geun?” Cut to: Su-geun holding hands with the zombies, pretending to be one of them.
javabeans: HA, that’s brilliant. He pulls the zombies away from his own teammates and generally just confuses them all. Hee! Then at one point the zombies grab a hold of some of the non-zombies and a frenzy of grabbing ensues—only, they’re madly grabbing each other in the confusion, while the Marrieds are actually attacking the zombies from behind, confusing them even more. Ha, cheeky “victims”!
girlfriday: That’s the thing about zombies. Hungry, but not so bright. Finally Shi-kyung manages to grab a handful of Tae-hyun’s pants, and drags him down, and then Joo-won gets him in a deathgrip headlock.
javabeans: Omo, so blindfolded Tae-woong gets a good hold on Seung-woo, and Su-geun swoops in to try to save his teammate. Only then Tae-woong grabs them both in headlocks and I love the image of the blindfolded guy overpowering the two able-bodied, seeing ones.
girlfriday: It’s a total Hulk moment. Except, maybe, minus the part where he’s biting Seung-woo in the unmentionables. At least that’s what it looks like. I don’t even know where Su-geun is in all this. I see his feet, but that’s about all.
javabeans: At the end of the round—when Seung-woo finally yells “I give up!” after being bitten, literally—there’s just this huge mess of rumpled boys and shredded clothing. It was a pretty vicious round, really. Then they swap places, and the Bachelors will have to beat 3 minutes 14 seconds to win over the Marrieds. But honestly, they could go a lot longer than that if they weren’t all possessed by the compulsion to fuck with the other team, like jabbing them in the butt from behind and taunting them.
girlfriday: It’s like free taunting rights because they’re sitting ducks, so they have to take advantage. I mean, when else can the maknae smack the mat-hyung’s butt and get away with it?
javabeans: The Marrieds were awesome as the hunted, but they’re sorta bumbling along as the zombies. They keep grabbing each other (and cameramen), and Seung-woo keeps running headfirst into pillars. The Bachelors take full advantage by shoving the zombies into each other, which results in a frenzy of “GOT ONE!” *CHOMP* “Ow ow it’s me!” Finally Tae-hyun just sits down and grumps, “I can’t do this anymore!” Shi-kyung actually speaks up: “Is this what we looked like earlier?”
girlfriday: Seung-woo finally gets a catch and goes to town, not realizing that it’s Jong-min he’s caught. Jong-min barely has a chance to scream “I give up!” just to get him to stop. Meanwhile, Tae-hyun and Su-geun gang up on Joo-won, who does a good job of squirming around them for a while, but then they chomp down. He finally caves with a high-pitched, “I give up~!”
javabeans: He actually has bite marks on his skin, of a full set of teeth. Ha. So the Bachelors win indoor sleeping rights and are told they have no wake-up mission. On the other hand, they have shooting plans… which mean they have to be up by 5:30.
girlfriday: Eeek. At least they all get breakfast.
javabeans: Tae-hyun shoots Bird a suspicious look, wondering what horrors are in store after breakfast. Ha, it does seem too easy otherwise.
girlfriday: Yeah the wake-up time is suspiciously early too. The boys get ready for bed, and aw, I just love moments like this — Tae-hyun coughs a little, and Su-geun worries about him like a mom, making sure he’s tucked in. It’s funny to see him get babied, but he’s the maknae on this team so it’s super cute.
javabeans: They get woken up at the crack of dawn and ushered to the beach, where they await the sunrise… and wait… and wait. It’s overcast, and finally the guys are like, “Uh, did we miss it?”
girlfriday: Lol, I so know this feeling. You wake up all early to go catch the sunrise, and it’s just too damn cloudy to see a thing. Wah waaaaaah.
javabeans: So they do their little outro and bow for the new year, and walk off because this is the end of the episode… except we still have a half hour left to the show. Looks like they were right about added plans, because surely we’re not going to watch them eat breakfast for 30 minutes.
girlfriday: Holy crap, that’s a lot of food. So they get to stuff their faces with all kinds of dishes, all featuring this one kind of fish, which is already suspicious. And sure enough, after breakfast, Bird PD says it’s time to go catch that fish. Only two people have to go, so they’ll play a speed quiz game, where each member calls someone on their own phone and has one minute to get answers out of people.
javabeans: Seung-woo calls Lee Jong-hyuk, awesome! It rings and rings, but finally he chooses to call Hwang Jung-min instead. And then Ji Jin-hee. And then Gong Hyung-jin. What I’m getting from this is that A-list actors aren’t up early on Saturday.
girlfriday: Would you be if you were them?
javabeans: Ha, I’m not anyway. I guess it’s not a star thing. I am, however, once again impressed at Seung-woo’s network—especially since these are just the guys he’s willing to call on a Saturday morning for a random telephone quiz.
girlfriday: Gong Hyung-jin gets five questions right for Seung-woo, and then cries, “Is this what you’re gonna use me for?!” Hee. And then Tae-hyun calls Park Bo-young! Cute!
javabeans: She’s so cute. She gets seven right, and he’s like, “I’m not going on that boat, no way!”
girlfriday: Omg I love that she still calls him Dad.
javabeans: Aw, Joo-won calls his Ojakkyo hyung Ryu Soo-young.
girlfriday: So much cuteness! I love this game.
javabeans: I love some of the wayward answers. “It’s the opposite of truth!” “Not truth!” Tae-woong calls Lee Bo-young, his Equator Man co-star, and she’s really cute too. Wow they get a lot right, which I think is a lot because he gives good clues. Meanwhile, Jong-min is so terrible that the PD actually lets the clock keep running after time’s up, just to hear more of him. His clues are like, “This is what you do when you sit up!” and the word is “sit-up.”
girlfriday: It’s hysterical. Sadly, it also means he loses and has to go fishing. Su-geun too, for being in 6th place.
javabeans: I think Shi-kyung is about ready to send Jong-min’s friend (Kim Na-young) a gift basket just for rescuing him from fishing — he looked pretty miserable at the thought that he’d have to go, only to be saved at the last minute.
girlfriday: The rest of the boys then get taken to an RV campsite where they’re told they get to rest. But the camper is rigged with cameras in every nook and cranny. Hm.
javabeans: While Su-geun and Jong-min busily get to fishing, the five others sit back and relax, and start to get restless, asking for coffee and snacks. They’re told they’re already in the car, and they find boxes of snacks hidden in random places. Ha.
girlfriday: It’s kind of amazing how fast Seung-woo zeroes in on that chocopie. He really is a chocolate monster. So then a little more time passes, and then suddenly their walkie talkie buzzes. Bird PD: “You are now locked inside.” Evil! Though isn’t it funny — if you’re there by choice you’re perfectly content to sit around, but once you know you’re trapped, you gotta get the hell out.
javabeans: Bird locks the door with a combination lock, then tells the team that they can pool their brains with the fishing team to figure out the code and escape. There are clues: one inside the RV, and another out on the muddy field that they were just looking at.
girlfriday: Su-geun and Jong-min arrive, and Tae-hyun sticks his head out to tell them that they’re trapped. Su-geun doesn’t much feel the need to help them, but all it takes is one chocopie to get them onboard. It’s a good thing they got snacks.
javabeans: Bird explains the scenario, and Su-geun cottons on fast: So they’ve gotta catch the four crew members just hanging around, and then they get the hint? As if on cue, the four men all start running around on the muddy sand. They literally play a game of keep-away with two balls, which I bet have numbers on them.
girlfriday: Man, Su-geun and Jong-min are really having a rough morning. The boys in the camper have gone over everything, and the only things that the crew put inside (other than cameras) are the snacks. They all gather around the snack boxes, wondering if there are numbers on them, and then they realize… they’re all PIES. Lol. They’re all, “Is it Pi? It’s Pi!”
javabeans: They’re told they need both teams to provide numbers, so they decide it’s 3.14 plus the other hint. Hilariously, while they’re waiting Tae-hyun actually climbs out of the tiny RV window, and Bird has to push him back in saying that he can’t leave without guessing the hint.
girlfriday: The hints are 3.14, X, and 7. For some bizarre reason, they decide that X means nothing, and try the combination with 3147. People, you figured out pi but not X?
javabeans: So then they try 314 times 7, and that does the trick. Haha. Good thing Shi-kyung’s on that team because I was wondering if it was some kind of algebra involved. You know, like solve for x. Like the circumference of a circle with diameter 7, or whatever. See, I can do math! Just enough to get me into trouble.
girlfriday: For the boys who sweat bullets at the addition game? I don’t think the PDs would be THAT cruel.