Han River Police: Episode 1 (First Impressions)

by missvictrix

They promised action and they promised comedy and, well, we get both of those things in our first episode. With some fun character dynamics to jazz up a tired premise, if you lean into the ridiculous, this can be quite fun.

Editor’s note: This is an Episode 1 review only. For a place to chat about the entire drama, visit the Drama Hangout.
 
EPISODE 1

Disney+ is now infamous for confusing K-drama fans everywhere with their sporadic series drops, and inconsistent release schedules and streaming access. But of all the ways Disney+ is disrupting the dramaverse, it’s the onscreen smoking that gets me every time. In a more serious drama (like the forthcoming noir The Worst of Evil) it makes sense, but in a drama that feels like a cheesy 1990s disaster comedy? It’s just weird to see everyone puffing and cussing away.

But back to that grade B disaster flick comparison — those are the vibes here. We open the drama with some scenic shots of the Han River environs we all know and love. But then, the peace of a river boat cruise is interrupted by sudden hijackers with bandanas and rifles. It’s all very splashy and feels fake… and thank our lucky stars: it is. It’s actually an operation simulation for a Seoul SWAT unit (who rope in quite impressively). And the “hijackers”? They’re our eponymous Han River police unit, and they’re royally pissed about having to play the bad guys. Or should I say, our hero SERGEANT HAN DOO-JIN (Kwon Sang-woo) is.

Like every hot-headed and prone-to-eye-rolling hero before him, he can’t take a hit to his ego, so when the SWAT team gets a little too comfortable with their rubber bullets, the simulation turns into a fall-out brawl. It’s actually hilarious hair-pulling mayhem, to the point of them accidentally setting off a tear gas canister, and later a flare, which gets the team into even deeper trouble when the Important Politicians are put in danger.

Our three main river patrol guys are Doo-jin, his sunbae LEE CHUN-SEOK (Kim Hee-won), and the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed newbie KIM JI-SOO (Shin Hyun-seung). Chun-seok is hilariously dry-humored and occupies most of his time by trying to get out of everything he can. Their rookie is the exact opposite, naturally, and is obsessed with being in fit condition, and is always ready to rip his shirt off and get into the water. Yes, it’s all really this silly.

After the simulation-turned-disaster, our team of three get their ears chewed off by CHIEF DO WON-IL (Sung Dong-il) who says they were supposed to play terrorists not become them lol. Some punishment training ensues, which serves to reinforce what we’re learning about our characters: Doo-jin shows off his massive lung capacity, Ji-soo obediently does whatever he’s told, and Chun-seok barely gets in the pool before he’s bemoaning a terrible ear infection and immediately removes himself from the situation.

It’s during this training that we also meet the woman who’s in the river police unit — although Doo-jin quips that she’s not a woman, she’s an ex-Marine. But when we meet her she’s very much a woman in a flashy red bathing suit, and DO NA-HEE (Bae Da-bin) proves herself a perky overachiever, competing with Doo-jin to the point where she passes out in the pool. When saved, everyone on the team rushes over anxious to do CPR (lol this show), but Doo-jin does some quick chest compressions instead of mouth-to-mouth. (Though this was quite a professional way to handle the situation, we learn later on that Na-hee is head over heels for him, and she turns up drunk as a skunk all twitterpated over how he “touched her chest.” She’s just as crazy as the rest of them.)

While all the crazy is happening at the river police HQ, we’ve got a Chaebol Bad Guy who’s doing the typical greedy things (except he’s Choi Moo-sung so how bad can he be!). There’s a massive river barge cruise project he’s been championing — with the help of the politicians in his pocket — and it creates the political and social turmoil that’s the backdrop to the drama. Essentially, the project is endangering the river and ruining the livelihoods of the people who work there (for fishing and otherwise), but you know those Chaebol Bad Guys.

But this particular evil chairman has a nephew — GO KI-SEOK (Lee Sang-yi) — who’s mighty anxious to take over the family business, but is instead constantly belittled by his uncle. Before we meet Ki-seok in his chaebol role, though, we meet him on a runaway yacht that our three favorite policemen chase down on the river.

When they decide to do some work instead of snooze on the dock or make ramyun for lunch, our team is actually good at what they do. Chun-seok drives their patrol boat at top speed, and Doo-jin is eventually able to board the yacht. Little does he know he will find a highly inebriated Ki-seok at the helm with a bunch of equally drunk and scantily-clad women. They schmooze Doo-jin, calling him “cop oppa” (even Ki-seok lol) to try to get out of their obvious law-breaking. So, in sum, drunken captaining, womanizing, and chaebol family problems quickly characterize Ki-seok for us. Nothing new in that character, but at least Lee Sang-yi is fun?

As we head into the end of our first episode, disaster strikes. The way-too-big Han River cruise boat is having its maiden voyage, and it’s bursting with passengers — including Na-hee, for some reason. But, when Ki-seok’s hubris has the boat head too close to shore, where the dredging hasn’t been done, the boat quickly hits rock bottom. Literally.

What ensues is a Titanic-level scene of the cruise slowing tipping into the water, with plates, goblets, and passengers flying around like confetti. ‘Tis very dire, and very computer-generated. It’s at this point that our not-at-all-lazy river police unit get the call that there’s an emergency, and they fly down the river in hero-mode to witness the disaster firsthand.

For being both cheesy and predictable, there was definitely still something to be enjoyed in the premiere of Han River Police, by way of the comedy. If the drama wasn’t so sure it wanted to be funny first, it would be unwatchable. But since it cares about its humor above all, the cheesiness is delivered knowingly.

While I definitely chuckled a few times over the silly jokes — and I surely don’t mind spending some of my time staring at Kwon Sang-woo in a backwards cap — I don’t know if there’s enough to reel me in here. The highlight of the show (and the comedy) so far is definitely the banter between Sung Dong-il and Kim Hee-won. The same dry, elbow-jabbing humor they have in real life flows naturally from their scenes together in the drama, and the funniest moments were between them — like when Chief Do knows Chun-seok is shirking his training and asks him why his hair seems to be waterproof. Or, later on, when Chun-seok dumps out the water he’s been keeping in his goggles in front of the chief to “prove” he’s been in the pool.

On second thought, I’ve just realized the perfect time to binge-watch this drama. At only six episodes — and brimming with an outdated cheesiness that’s strangely comforting — I hereby prescribe this drama the next time you’re under the weather and need to spend the day in bed recuperating. Six hours of this drama (and a bowl of hot soup) would be perfect.

 
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