Day 11
One good thing
The last couple of years have been awful. Honestly, when I think about it it’s no wonder my depression is at an all time high (low?). But sometimes, one good thing is all I need to get me over the hump to give me the stamina to do all the not good things.
In December my car was stolen for the 4th time in 1.5 years. I had a rental that lasted for 1 month (have you tried asking your insurance company–nicely–to extend it? My ridiculous mechanic to me) and then it was walking back and forth work. It was bumming rides from people to get to various doctors appointments (I apparently almost had a heart attack/stroke,diabetes, burns, mental health, fractured bone in the back) I have a lot of doctors appointments. I was tired and frustrated and sad and mad and a whole host of other adjectives. I was bumming rides all of the time. I hate bumming rides. I hate asking for help. I decided I needed a car and I needed one now now now
Like seriously
Now.
One day I needed to go to the bank, I needed to go to the chiropractors, I needed to go to the pharmacy and a few other places. Uber is good if you’re going from a to b. Getting a ride is fine if you’re going from b to c. But if you’re going from a to h and you need to stop at each letter in between there’s no real way to get to all of those stops. So, for days I didn’t have my meds so I just wandered around in pain. So, I found a car that I wanted. I had my friend test drive it with me and 2 days later I had a car. No co-signer, just me.
I feel like I’m coming into my own.
I’m only 40. (Eyeroll)
Anyway.
Having this one good thing happen suddenly makes it feel like other good things are possible. And even if other good things is a reach, this one good thing feels like it will help me navigate the rest.
So, here’s to figuring it out.
Even if I have no idea what exactly it is.
Love, February
You got this, Isa!!
Even if you have to break some things down to into a few more steps compared to how others would do it, just so you can do it, and will help you to get that thing done that you NEED done, then do it that way. Take things one day at a time if you have to… But honestly, don’t compare— comparing yourself to others is a dumb and bottomless rabbit hole to go down that ultimately doesn’t end well.
And I totally get you— like, GET YOU— about the thing on bumming rides, because I am the same:
I have a physical condition that doesn’t allow me to drive. If I wanted to drive, I forcibly still could, but the work and the patience and the hassle for me to get to that point is just not worth it— most of which, I’d have to purchase a car and then fork out more money to get it modified for me.
Bumming rides feels like a hassle on most days, and on other days, it truly is a blessing, especially when the one you’re bumming off of is a super kind and sweet person and thinks of you asking them for rides is a way for them to bless and help you— like, are you for real???? 🥹
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
February 11, 2024 at 7:29 PM
Day 11
One good thing
The last couple of years have been awful. Honestly, when I think about it it’s no wonder my depression is at an all time high (low?). But sometimes, one good thing is all I need to get me over the hump to give me the stamina to do all the not good things.
In December my car was stolen for the 4th time in 1.5 years. I had a rental that lasted for 1 month (have you tried asking your insurance company–nicely–to extend it? My ridiculous mechanic to me) and then it was walking back and forth work. It was bumming rides from people to get to various doctors appointments (I apparently almost had a heart attack/stroke,diabetes, burns, mental health, fractured bone in the back) I have a lot of doctors appointments. I was tired and frustrated and sad and mad and a whole host of other adjectives. I was bumming rides all of the time. I hate bumming rides. I hate asking for help. I decided I needed a car and I needed one now now now
Like seriously
Now.
One day I needed to go to the bank, I needed to go to the chiropractors, I needed to go to the pharmacy and a few other places. Uber is good if you’re going from a to b. Getting a ride is fine if you’re going from b to c. But if you’re going from a to h and you need to stop at each letter in between there’s no real way to get to all of those stops. So, for days I didn’t have my meds so I just wandered around in pain. So, I found a car that I wanted. I had my friend test drive it with me and 2 days later I had a car. No co-signer, just me.
I feel like I’m coming into my own.
I’m only 40. (Eyeroll)
Anyway.
Having this one good thing happen suddenly makes it feel like other good things are possible. And even if other good things is a reach, this one good thing feels like it will help me navigate the rest.
So, here’s to figuring it out.
Even if I have no idea what exactly it is.
Love, February
Bebe | Nessa❣️
February 11, 2024 at 7:44 PM
You got this, Isa!!
Even if you have to break some things down to into a few more steps compared to how others would do it, just so you can do it, and will help you to get that thing done that you NEED done, then do it that way. Take things one day at a time if you have to… But honestly, don’t compare— comparing yourself to others is a dumb and bottomless rabbit hole to go down that ultimately doesn’t end well.
And I totally get you— like, GET YOU— about the thing on bumming rides, because I am the same:
I have a physical condition that doesn’t allow me to drive. If I wanted to drive, I forcibly still could, but the work and the patience and the hassle for me to get to that point is just not worth it— most of which, I’d have to purchase a car and then fork out more money to get it modified for me.
Bumming rides feels like a hassle on most days, and on other days, it truly is a blessing, especially when the one you’re bumming off of is a super kind and sweet person and thinks of you asking them for rides is a way for them to bless and help you— like, are you for real???? 🥹
Reply1988 -❣️Mother Bean❣️
February 11, 2024 at 11:31 PM
So happy for you finally having ann experience that has brought you hope for more answered prayers in the future. Thank you for sharing, take care.
owl 🦉 🫰
February 12, 2024 at 8:05 PM
Bright spots and one good thing help us look forward. You’ve got this, isa!