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Kill Me, Heal Me: Episode 18

This was an episode of two decided halves: One to say goodbye to the past, and the other to usher in the future (and anyone else who wants to come along for that ride…).

The last of the secrets are spilled, and Se-gi proves not only that he dresses better than Do-hyun, but that both Ri-jin and Do-hyun definitively need him to kickstart their reconciliation. And maybe a few others.

EPISODE 18 RECAP

Ri-jin and Ri-on come home from walking their dog. Ri-jin’s impersonation of flirty Yo-na quickly persuades her brother to get the dog’s food.

While she waits, Ri-jin receives a visitor: Se-gi apologizes for being late.

He wants Ri-jin to run away with him, away from their terrible memories. Both of them remember their childhood promise to run away together somewhere far away, and deliberately echoing her past self, Ri-jin says she doesn’t have money. Se-gi acknowledges it with a smile and repeats his reply then — he has lots. She takes his outstretched hand.

Ri-on finds out by text from Ri-jin that she’s left with Se-gi. Another message tells him not to worry, she can handle Se-gi.

Aww it’s the return of the Segimobile (which is a Ford Mustang, not a Ferrari — apologies!). They drive, while in voiceover, we hear the rest of her message to Ri-on. She tells him how Se-gi is the most wounded piece of Do-hyun. She’s connected to him by a common wound, so examining his is the same as examining her own, and that’s what she means to do.

Se-gi asks Ri-jin where she wants to go — her wish is his command. She asks him why he acted like he didn’t know her when they first met. Se-gi didn’t want her painful memories to surface, and confesses that he hoped she would choose him with or without them. He asks if she already remembered everything, and she’s surprised that he knows about that.

Se-gi explains how he shared memories with Do-hyun. Ri-jin finds out Do-hyun discovered the truth about his/her name, and Se-gi says the shock was so deep it made him check out.

Ri-jin asks how he came to take the name Cha Do-hyun, and we go back to the day of the fire. Little Se-gi throws a lit match on the spilled kerosene. The fire catches immediately, whooshing under the locked door, into the basement room where his dad and Ri-jin are. Dad struggles out, and catching sight of his son, calls out, “Joon-young!”

One look at his face makes Dad realize Joon-young must have set the fire. But the boy faints, and choking on smoke, Dad brings him out. Joon-young comes around and cries for Dad to rescue Do-hyun.

Dad passes his son onto a firefighter and runs back inside. Joon-young is rushed to an ambulance, unconscious, while a paramedic tries to rouse him. She repeatedly asks him his name. Struggling, he replies, “Cha…Do-hyun. My name is Cha Do-hyun.” Oh. He cries inside that it’s his fault.

Dad returns to the inferno for Do-hyun, frantically calling her name. Grandma’s voice narrates the last thing Dad said before his coma: that when he went back for her, she was already gone. We see Ri-jin’s mom at the scene of the fire, hurrying away with a hidden bundle — the girl, Do-hyun.

Grandma’s voiceover continues: Some days later, she got a letter from a friend of Seo-yeon, asking her not to look for the girl. In the fiery basement, Dad collapses.

In the time following the incident, Joon-young doesn’t respond to his name, no matter how much his mom calls him. She tries, “Do-hyun?” and he turns around immediately. Oh my chills.

Mom gathers him up in an embrace. With tears in her eyes, she agrees that he should forget everything — the fire, his father, the girl and what happened in the basement, even his own name. He can just be Cha Do-hyun, the sole heir to Seungjin.

In the present, Se-gi tells Ri-jin that young Joon-young believed she had died in the fire that day, and out of his despair and guilt, his mind created an alter in the image of her seven-year-old self. Ri-jin finally understands the mystery of “Nana,” a personality who had been dormant until Do-hyun met Ri-jin again now.

Ri-jin asks if the fire happened because of her. Se-gi replies that it was to save her. She argues that he could have died, but he smiles that she lived. We cut back to when Do-hyun found out the truth about who set the fire. Grandma realizes that his mind must have broken back then. He stumbles out, head ringing.

Memories loop and mix. Little Ri-jin’s voice inviting him to play overlaps with mom’s telling him to stay as Do-hyun. His child-self pounds at the basement door and Dad punishes Ri-jin. Se-gi revisits the memory of the scene of the fire, the first time he appeared. Looking over his younger self with sad satisfaction, he thinks, “The one who saved that child was me.”

Ri-jin worries that Do-hyun’s DID happened because of her, but their conversation is cut short when Se-gi gets a phonecall from Alex, the U.S. friend Ki-joon was investigating. He tells Se-gi that he was offered half a million for his secrets. He needs the money, but he wants his friend to make a better offer, and they arrange to meet.

Ki-joon’s secretary reports to his boss about their offer to Alex, and also tells him about the man’s gambling debt. Alex claims to know explosive secrets about Do-hyun that will ruin Seungjin, and will go to the papers unless they buy it. Ki-joon is reluctant to go along with his terms.

Se-gi tells Ri-jin that Alex is a parasite who’s lived off threatening Do-hyun since high school. While he rants about killing him, Ri-jin thumbs off a secret text to Chief Ahn about Se-gi, Alex and where they’re going.

They arrive at the meeting place and Se-gi tells Ri-jin to stay in the car. She tells him to stay — she’ll deal with this. Even though her contract with Do-hyun was terminated, her deal with Se-gi stands, which means no violence and no ruining reputations. She reminds him that he said her word was law. Trapped by his own promises, he can only curse.

The darkness of the warehouse makes her nervous. She looks for Alex, who suddenly emerges from the shadows. She introduces herself as Do-hyun’s secretary, and he tells her to double Ki-joon’s offer. But giving her a once over, he leers that he could take Ki-joon’s money if she’ll get friendly with him.

Ri-jin backs away as Alex steps closer. She flails madly, and somehow (lol hooowww?) she ends up with her fingers rammed up Alex’s nose. He bleeds and swears and oh my god, help, I’m dying so hard here.

Outside, Se-gi paces and curses, but Ri-jin’s scream sends him inside. Alex has her backed up with his hand over her mouth when Se-gi flies at him. He pulls out a knife, and Se-gi blocks it with his bare hand. He’s so enraged Alex messed with his woman that he begins to choke him.

He’s deaf to Ri-jin’s entreaties to stop, and she screams, “Cha Do-hyun!” The effect is immediate — Do-hyun returns.

In the car, Ri-jin bandages his hand. While she chatters, he just stares at her. Finding his voice, he asks if she remembers about the name “Cha Do-hyun.” He apologizes taking over her name.

He tells her, smiling, how much he likes the way she calls his name. She asks him not to be sorry towards her. Among her painful memories were also good ones, she says, such as her mom rescuing her, and little Cha-gun who kept his promise to meet her every night. When she was scared and alone, he was there for her: “The reason why my mind wasn’t shattered into pieces was probably because of you, Cha Do-hyun.”

Crying, she apologizes. Because of her, his mind was shattered. She acknowledges how hard he struggled against his other personalities, in order to protect that name. “So I’ll give it you as a gift, the name ‘Cha Do-hyun,'” she tells him. He wells up.

She instructs him to answer confidently, “I’m Cha Do-hyun,” when anyone asks, just like he used to. He wipes her tears, and the background song is perfect: “Although I can’t say ‘I love you’…I love you.”

It’s late by the time Do-hyun drops Ri-jin home. He says goodbye (but why does it still sound so final?) by telling her to be well. But everything he wishes, she turns back on him: He shouldn’t be in pain anymore, or have nightmares, or worry about her.

After she leaves, Do-hyun clutches his ringing head. A moment later…oh lol, it’s Perry Park! Dad (who finally meets the real Perry) runs into him, and is so pleased that he keeps clapping him on the head with excitement, much to Perry’s disgruntlement. Perry perks up at the mention of fishing, and the two ajusshis fall into easy banter.

Dad takes him in for a drink, and they call the (very confused) kids to join them. Dad wants to adopt Perry as his little bro instead of Ri-on’s friend, and Perry immediately calls Dad ‘hyungnim’. Dad is so happy that he orders out the special liquor, which Ri-on objects to since Dad doesn’t even give it to him.

Perry compliments Dad, saying that his daughter grew up well because her dad was so great. She’s strong and has a loyal heart — but, he confides, she really can’t dance. Dad is suspicious that they’re dating, but Perry easily dismisses it, telling hyungnim to perish the thought.

Just as he’s about to drink the hallowed liquor, his consciousness interferes. He struggles to just take one sip, but ultimately fails. He spills the precious drink and knocks out. This is the twins’ cue to rush him away before he exposes himself.

They deposit him on Ri-on’s bed. He asks Ri-jin what’s going on. But she’s as confused as he is, and they leave to discuss it. On the bed, Se-gi twitches and comes around. But I’m thinking that ain’t Se-gi…

Over tea, the siblings try to figure it out. Ri-jin thinks that because Do-hyun has been going through so much lately, the instability of his core made the alters come out. Ri-on offers his writer’s point of view, that it’s his subconscious way of staying around Ri-jin, since he can’t do that when he’s himself. But he also thinks the alters are the right people to regulate him in his shaken condition.

Returning to his room, Ri-on is shocked to find it empty. Ri-jin, on the other hand — ohh it’s Yo-sub! Wearing Ri-on’s glasses, lol.

She’s happy to see him, and the way he calls her noona squeezes my heart. He’s been reading Omega, but he doesn’t like it — it’s too lightweight, “It feels like a gash on my soul.” He confides that he wants to write a beautiful poem, but worries that time isn’t on his side. Her face fills with sorrow.

She asks him why his name is Yo-sub. He tells her about the first time he attempted suicide in high school. It sent shockwaves through his mission school, where he was then baptized and given a Christian name (“Yo-sub” is the Korean version of “Joseph”). He also tells her that he always wished he could be his sister, Yo-na (who, like her namesake Jonah, thirsts to live).

Yo-sub thinks Do-hyun is done with thoughts of suicide now. Since he doesn’t know how much time he has until he disappears, Yo-sub wants to say his goodbyes. He comes over to Ri-jin and crouches until their eyes are level. He leans in and drops a chaste kiss on her cheek.

Ri-on bursts in at the wrongest moment. He bellows at “Perry Park” for hitting on his sister and flings poor Yo-sub to the floor. But when Ri-jin tells him it wasn’t Perry, it’s too late — Yo-sub is out, and…

“Oppa~!” squeals Yo-na. Ri-on covers his ears and tries to pretend her away, which obviously doesn’t work. She tacklehugs him to the floor, intent on showering him with kisses, while Ri-jin laughs at him.

Clad in her favorite bunny pyjamas, Yo-na presides over the twins’ argument about where she’ll sleep. Ri-jin says a man can’t sleep in her room, while Ri-on splutters that he certainly can’t have a girl in his. Yo-na tires of their squabbling and makes an executive decision — Oppa’s room it is! The siblings vehemently object, leaving only one way to resolve their impasse…

Rock, Paper, Scissors: Ri-jin loses.

Yo-na primps in front of Ri-jin’s mirror, which makes Ri-jin suspicious. What’s she getting pretty for in the middle of the night? She suggests they go out for ssambap, which Ri-jin doesn’t even need to shoot down.

Next, Yo-na oh-so-casually says she’s off to the bathroom, but Ri-jin’s got her number — she knows Yo-na is looking for any excuse to be with Oppa. Yo-na’s frustration at being foiled makes her claim the bed, but Ri-jin orders her to the floor. Ohmylols, Yo-na getting schooled is gold.

But this girl isn’t one to give up, and her next excuse for a trip is water, for her raging thirst. Thirst for Oppa’s blood, you mean. Ri-jin decides it’s time to take emergency measures, and uses some cord to tie Yo-na to her. Ri-jin warns her not to dream impossible dreams. Still pining for Ri-on, Yo-na eventually falls asleep.

But she does dream of Oppa, and a jerk of the cord lands Ri-jin on the floor. Still asleep, they inch closer together, and Ri-jin slips into a dream of the first time she and Do-hyun met as children. Laughing and playing, they tumble down beside each other, face to face, just like Ri-jin and Yo-na now.

Do-hyun wakes up, himself again. His eyes widen to see Ri-jin beside him. He tries to make sense of his bound wrist, but the bunny pyjamas answer his question. He settles down again, and watches Ri-jin’s sleeping face.

Her eyes open. “Yo-na?” she asks.

“I’m Cha Do-hyun,” he replies, and I’ve never been so happy to hear that line. She lets out a happy sigh. He tells her how the words he’s said and heard the most in his life are that name, Cha Do-hyun. He feels like the two of them have always been connected through it, even though they parted in their childhood.

He explains that he sent her away because he thought it would be too painful for him to see her in pain while being next to him. Instead he found it was worse when she was away from him. In other words, “Don’t go. Stay with me,” he asks her now. He folds her hand into his.

Suddenly, the lights come on and OMG RI-ON STOP INTERRUPTING THE MOMENT!!

Do-hyun and Ri-jin spring apart, struggling with their bonds while Ri-on looks on with interest. He asks what’s going on. Do-hyun tries, “Oppa?” but forgets his voice. In an adjusted falsetto, he makes an excuse to leave. Ri-on (totally on to him) blocks “her” and asks if she’s going out dressed like that.

It looks like the answer to that is “yes.” Bunny Do-hyun makes for his car and Ri-on wonders how a highschooler is going to handle driving it. Ri-jin cringes on the sidelines while Oppa has his fun.

The moment they’ve seen Do-hyun off, Ri-jin tries to escape, too. But Ri-on holds her back. That was Do-hyun right? He boasts that he knew it wasn’t Yo-na since there’s no way she’d have been able to leave him.

Alone later, Do-hyun and Ri-jin separately think about their moment with quiet elation.

Do-hyun shocks the board the next day by showing up to take charge of the Seungjin shareholder meeting. In his office, Ki-joon fumes at this turn of events. But his mood lifts when he receives a piece of mail from Alex, and finds a locker key inside.

Do-hyun tells Grandma he’ll do his best at the company, but she should temper her expectations. He says it’s not a show of modesty, but a warning. He plans to do everything his own way, and then leave on his own terms. Strangely, Grandma doesn’t look displeased at his fighting words.

Uncle tells Ki-joon that Do-hyun is a fake who took on the identity of the missing child 21 years ago. Ki-joon is floored by the revelation, but Uncle chuckles that with Seungjin, anything is possible. Ki-joon asks the important question: What happened to the real Cha Do-hyun?

Uncle must tell him, because once alone, Ki-joon ponders over Oh Ri-jin, “the real Cha Do-hyun,” and wonders what Alex’s key unlocks.

Do-hyun returns to his office, and is met by Chief Ahn — and Secretary Ri-jin. She greets him brightly and Chief Wingman explains that he took her on because of her proactivity, blah blah (riiight) but leaves it to Do-hyun to decide whether she’s hired or fired. He leaves the lovebirds alone.

Do-hyun walks right past her, and she catches his arm, reminding him he wanted them to stay together. But he didn’t mean resuming her doctor duties on a defunct contract, he points out. Playful Ri-jin urges him to just write a new one — one that omits the “thou shalt not fall in love” clause. Instead, it should say, “Parties A and B, no matter what trial they face, get through it together.”

Grinning, Do-hyun declares the reset with a snap of his fingers. Then he calls “Start!” and holds open his arms to her. Dying of cute. They’re both so happy but Ri-jin, still plays hard to get. She teases him for being desperate, but he just laughs and spins her around, into his arms.

COMMENTS

If this show were to end right now, this is totally enough for me. Their resolution now is so much better for being hard-earned rather than an untested promise. On the other hand, it can’t end yet: Now they’re a team again, now that the battle lines have been drawn, now that Do-hyun has his sense of self back, now that Ri-on is their active ally…I’m stoked to see how the finale plays out.

This show has laid an intricate groundwork of motifs and counterpoints right from the beginning, and several of those elements came full circle this episode, characterizing exactly what this show does so well. I can’t talk about all of them, but let’s look at a few. The theme of inversion has run throughout, both literally (mirrors) and figuratively. But the poetry of it multiplied this episode. The best occasion was the reframing of Do-hyun — not as a failed protector, but a savior. The simple beauty of Ri-jin returning his name was highlighted in the words that came with it — that where he felt he had failed her, she told him he gave her hope. Where he saw himself as stealing her name, all she sees is how he guarded it. When he sees himself as hopelessly broken, she sees that he took the strike that saved her from his fate. So in every way that matters to her, he saved her.

Read this line with the weight of a thousand words: I LOVE RI-JIN. Both her gratitude and her distress over his pain are real. As we draw to a close, the second half of the show’s title matters more and more. That vote of confidence from her, that display of faith, it’s what he’s needed all this time to undo his burden of guilt. This is how they heal each other. Being someone with the capacity to protect and save his people is absolutely necessary to Do-hyun’s being. Failing her is what broke him in the first place, 21 years ago. Ri-jin is the only person who can restore him, because she is the root — the origin, if you will — of his fracture. For a moment, though, I was afraid that she would simply take on Do-hyun’s crushing guilt as her own burden. But this is Ri-jin. Like a bomb, she defuses it and puts it aside. And when they finally jettison the guilt, they are able to give strength to each other.

I loved everything about how she returned the name to him. It was so much more than just what he should be called. It was giving him back permission to exist, and to live — not like a shadow, but fully. It was giving him haven. The truth of how he took her name was even more tragic than anything I imagined. He had splintered once already, that first time, and in the aftermath of the fire Se-gi set, the horror of losing Ri-jin is so great that he splinters again. Because he thinks she’s dead, protecting her name is the only way left to him for protecting — how better to save her than to be her?

Erasing Ri-jin’s existence like we thought last week really was too terrible to be premeditated, and while I still don’t like Grandma and Do-hyun’s mom much, I’m glad that the revelation has returned shades of grey to them. It highlights again how people are rarely wholly bad, but bad choices lead to bad ends. To cite Harry Potter again, Do-hyun’s dad is basically Snape. A sincere person to start with, he becomes twisted by anger and resentment, and eventually crosses too many lines for forgiveness. When he went back for Ri-jin in the fire, he showed an unexpected nugget of humanity, but it isn’t enough for redemption. And so, for the most part, his fate is fitting. Just don’t wake up and complicate things, unless you’re going to repent, okay?

This show has done a killer job with the unreliable narrator aspect, which is one of my favorite devices (Megan Whalen Turner, anyone?). The flashbacks are integral part in constructing it throughout, so they haven’t felt pointless to me. Instead, I find them layered, iterative and changing, capturing effectively the confusing nature of both memory and mental disorder. For example, when Do-hyun has the devastating realization a few episodes ago that the memories he thought were his, were actually fabrications of his wounded psyche. His acute desire to have been the one who suffered in Ri-jin’s place drove his mind to create that version of the memory. But more profoundly, they weren’t even offered up willingly by his psyche (even the false memory was too painful), but shrouded in a thick layer of amnesia. It’s almost bizarre, when you think about the lengths the mind goes to — burying false memories, and even deeper inside the false memories, the truth.

The rewriting of memory is another central and repeated theme. Ri-on does it for Ri-jin, and has done for a long time, but for them, it’s a way of taking the teeth out of her fears. On the other hand, the Seungjin family create an illusory world that puts them on the right side of the moral divide. In fact, everything in this story starts with lies and deception, and everyone has a hand in it. Grandpa forces Seo-yeon back and presents Ri-jin as Dad’s daughter. Later, Dad hides her, and Mom and Grandma enter Do-hyun in the family register under a name that wasn’t his. And that brings us to the most important theme of all: truth.

While I think we finally have the truth this episode, it doesn’t end there. So let’s hope that the truth wins them justice and a happy ending.

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First! Yes. This episode stole my heart. I love that Ri-Jin gave her name to Joon Young/ Do Hyun. And we can thank Se Gi for finding her and basically stopping the angsty separation between the OTP.

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yeah Camille, this stole my heart too, and all of the episodes captured my heart, even the most angsty episodes

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Loved the episode and can't wait for the finale!

However, I have to disagree with writer's comparison of Do-hyun's dad to Snape. Snape never disliked/abused/tormented harry. His actions were driven by his ultimate goal in life: protect harry. His character is tragic because despite being the good guy inside, he has to embrace the cold outer shell and never let anyone in. As harry himself says, Snape was the bravest man he ever knew. When we knew about his truth, everything made sense that he was, always working for the greater good. Whereas, Do-hyun's dad chooses his anger/hatred overcome his conscience and be the evil person he never was in the first place. His actions are totally unforgivable

Sorry but my inner potterhead did not let me not say anything about this comparison!

Always grateful for the effort put into these reacps!

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As a Harry Potter fan and huge fan of Snape at the end, I think Saya is refering Snape from the time when he was in Hogwarts with Lily and James. He has loved her and done many wrongs in the process of hating James that at the end, he wasn't able to safe Lily.

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He didn't abuse or Harry, but Snape let his hatred and resentment of Harry's father affect the way he treated Harry. I think Saya means that Snape had the potential to be good, but because he couldn't let go of all that ill feeling against James, he took it out on Harry, like Joon Pyo transferred his hatred and resentment of So Yeon to Ri Jin.
He did try to save Harry, but only as repentance for not being able to save Lily.

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I also disagree, moreover it brought a dissonance in an otherwise brilliantly compsed review :)
Not because I deny that snape's srtrong hatred influenced his treatment of harry (though snape isnt an abuser but a protector)
But because snape (if we have to compare) is more like se gi. Heavily abused as a child by his father and witnessing his mother beaten up daily does somehow sets you back. Then, the scorn of his surroundings first the british middle class for his dysfunctional and poor family, then at slyrherin being a half-blood ( again, a poor one) so snape was relying on lily to be his only friend, basically, he gave her all his love and dedication. And then

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... the bullying at school, in front the queeen of griffindor, the girl he loves. ..poor teenager.
True, he joined malfloy's hitlerjugend and later the SS. But it wasn't because he was a sadist, rather a sharp, intelligent, vulnerable boy with intellectual pursuits well above the average. The dark arts... magic is the core of his word, so naturally he wants to research it. And became strong, he knows only to well the feeling being weak and helpless. But snape, tho he is traumatized and not always in control of his feelings is NOT a sadist; he'll never lock anyone in a basement and visit for sessions of abuse, let alone a kid. He protect all the kids at school however harsh he can be with what he regards stupidity (poor neville) He wanted to belong, and the 'Death Eaters' was the only group he was needed (for his brainsss)
Someone mentioned nietzsche
in the earlier recaps? Sure, snape looked up on young Siegfried-Lucius and as he never was part of society he couldnt care less about the threat of his organisation to society. Then his actions brought the death of the only person he cared for and made a godess of in his inverted vision...for which he repents and atones all his life, sacrificing himself, still never being accepted by others. (Hint: useless Order of Phoenix - Not even fully accepted rather used by Dumbi, the white king, the chessmaster playin'with human figures and lamb sacrifices to defeat the perv blackie king) snape is truly a tragic figure.

Okay, thats it, defending snape's honor, totally off-topic :(

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Thank you for the recap! I can't get enough of this episode...kept rewatching and rewatching..probably until Wednesday night. Even after re-watching I'll probably read your recap over and over.

Questions:
1. What does YoNa mean when she laughed and said Ssambap while fixing ORJ's hair?
2. What is the relationship between the uncle and the grandmother? And isn't the uncle - Do-hyun's dad's brother?

Thank you in advance for replies.

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I don't know about 1) but fir 2) I think "Uncle" (Ki-Joon's father) is the son of the younger brother of Grand-Ma husband

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In regards to your Ssambap question, I think Yona was basically calling Rijin an ahjumma (a middle aged woman). Since ahjummas usually run Ssambap restaurants and maybe their hairstyles are similar to how Yona parted Rijin's hair. I'm not positive but that's my guess.

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ssambap ahjumma... fated to love you anyone?

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Yona say that they goes to ssambap gib (shop) means Ri-jin's hair style that Yona maked is like 'Perilla Leaf'.
'Perilla Leaf' hair style used teenaged girl is so tough girl(who bully others?) something like Yona.

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'Cha Young-pyo' is younger cousin of 'Cha Jun-pyo'.
Cha Gun-ho (pre-chair man) is uncle of cha Young-pyo.
So grand mother is aunt (the wife of CYP's father's older brother)

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Which is the 7th personality of Cha Do Hyun?
I don't remember seeing the 7th persona?

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It's Mysterious X

He/She hasn't appeard yet, but probably will in the last two episodes. People assume or have a theory that he is something like the all knowing personality who finally connects all personalities and so Do Hyun is a full piece again.

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Thank you for the recap

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OMG A FELLOW MEGAN WHALEN TURNER FAN LET ME DANCE A DANCE OF JOY!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S UP SOUL SHEEESHTER??!!!! You are awesome, great recap, LOVED this episode and can't wait for next week. BRB got to go reread the Queen of Attolia for the twenty seventh time.

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YES. Megan Whalen Turner needs to hurry up and write a 5th book to continue Sophos and Eddis's story! She's such a wonderful writer.

On another note, if people like reading about unreliable narrators, try "The winter prince" by Elizabeth Wein. It has the most successful and poignant use of 2nd person narrator I've ever seen. It's incidentally also an arthurian retelling.

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Add Code Name Verity to that! And Jennifer Nielsen's False Prince trilogy. Love.

And not exactly an unreliable narrator, but if you like complex fantasy in the vein of Gen et al., then practically my favourite fantasy of all time: Robin Hobb's Farseer trilogy (i.e aaaalll the Fitz books). Love x 4363463

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Also a Robin Hobb Farseer fan!!! Love her characters!

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::taking diligent notes::

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ME TOO!

Added all these to my ever growing list of books to read

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Aw, it's awesome to see fellow kdrama fans who ALSO happen to love GOOD fantasy! I've been waiting with baited breath since 2006 (holy cow, that's 9yrs ago!) for Megan Whalen Turner to finish (or continue) that series :) She's so amazing, but she is the opposite of Brandon Sanderson- the gap between each book being published is agonizingly long!

The first book in Jennifer Nielsen's The False Prince trilogy reminded me quite a bit of The Thief actually. The unreliable narrator being more than he seems and whose arrogance is more than a little justified. I guess I'll also have to go check out the Farseer Trilogy since you all seem to love it.

As for my recommended contribution, I recommend The Raven's Shadow Trilogy by Anthony Ryan. It's actually adult fantasy, not YA, but it's excellent, with complex characters and well thought-out world building. I stayed up into the wee hours of the night reading the first book and went to work with dark circles down to my chin for 3 days!

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OMG the Farseer Trilogy (or both trilogies I should say) is one of my all-time favorite book series <3 <3 I miss Fitz...gotta read those again!

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Here goes: Megan Whalen Turner ❤❤❤

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AAAHHHH. What. I can't believe I found fellow fans here!!

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Hail, fellow fans of Megan Whalen Turner! I read King of Attolia at least once a year, it is so subtly sexy. Yeah, she really needs to write a new book...

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Thanks for the recap, Saya!

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"unless you’re going to repent, okay?"

How about, no? I say we continue the Harry Potter analogy and give him a similar fate as Snape, he doesn't even have to die - he just needs to stay in that coma: FOREVER!!

On a another note, the first time I saw this episode(live stream), I was like "Holy whiplash, Batman!" The reversal threw me for a loop at first; dark and brooding one minute to fun times with Perry Park, the next. However, after I watched the full episode (with and without subs) I was grinning like an idiot, even now, I'll re-watch the last 5 mins, and I'll just SMILE! :) :D

Seriously, it seemed like such a perfect note to end a drama on.

I'm curious to see what the writer has in store for us for these last two episodes because I'd almost forgotten and KJ and his father's corporate shenanigans were a thing. All I need from the final 2 eps are a proposal and a wedding. Everything else, outside of an official family meeting/sit down, will be a viewed as simply background noise.

Make it happen, writer-nim!!!

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I kinda feel that the father should wake up from the coma - not because I want to see him alive or in any scene - I just don't want CDH to have the added guilt of being a murderer.

If the father wakes up and then dies from any other cause, even seconds later, I'd be happy.

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Problem is, we have only two episodes left to resolve the conflict, wake up sleeping marquise de saad, tell us about why we needed the second female lead and barbie-uncle in the plot. Also as cdy interests me the least and segi & yo sub the most I ama bit sad waiting for 19-20.

Ithink the best thing gram can do is take off joon pyo of the respirator, except we've seen som hand movements of the comatose patient when segi & gram were playin hide-and-seek with daddy dearest. Which probably means the scary ghost from the deepest nightmares of the kids will wake up

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Here's my theory guys: CDH is only helping Grandma so he can finally destroy Seungjin Group with his own, planned expose of his DID condition. Sec. Ahn got rid of Alex and planted his own cache of documents picked by CDH to finally ruin the reputations of the people who destroyed he and Ri Jin's lives. Then CDH and ORJ get married and have babies. Also, we discover Chae-Yeon has a not-so-elegant past as a teenage sasaeng fan and is partially the model for Yona. Cue romance between her and ORO. The end!

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Love your CY possibility!!

What about the sauna key to the locker of knowledge? Taht is where the ruinous documents are?

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Perfect ending !!! (I DEMAND plenty of babies for DH and RJ)!!!

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millions of little Rijins and DoHyuns

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YES please!!!! And I hope each babies are like: Eldest = Bad boy/Sexy/Cooool like Segi, then next is a twin: one boy, one girl like The adorable Yo Na and the book-geek/genius Yo Sub(not suicidal though). And baby like Nana hehe.

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waaahhh!!!!
I love your ending!!!
Actually I wanted a time jump for I also want to see them married with babies and because I know that DID needs a long-term treatment so I am okay with a time jump than an open ending! :)

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wow, can they name the babies, YoNa, YoSub, Perry and ShinSeGi, whoaaah, that will be perfect

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haha..I love it :)
I also don't mind and I will love it too if they will once again break the fourth wall during the ending :) lalalala...

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@lara4liwa! this was the ending that I said I want before :) just fitting to remember all the personalities that once were painful memories but it will be thought of as love from now on well except for Yo Na hahahhaha

she was just all Oppa Ri On!!!! hahahahaha

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yeah gf, YoNa will be forever ORO...LOL..one of my fav scenes in this episodes, when YN meet ORO and when Daddy OH meet Perry bwahahahaha

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they were awesome together hehehehheh

gah! I will miss everyone in KMHM!!!!

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Oh man now I want a Ri On and Chae Yeon pairing.

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No! Ri On deserves much better!

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want MORE "Aww!" ?
https://twitter.com/search?q=%23KillMeHealMe&src=tyah

this episode YESSSSS but is Yo Sub gone for good? :-(

ahh I love how they reminded themselves of the PROMISE. I am all for keeping promises, unless it is to blow up a house...UNLESS it is a promise made by Perry (and why is this show tormenting Perry?

ahh I can´t. when I watched BTS I couldn´t decide... whther they were enjoying it, really REALLY enjoying it, or... being slightly embarrassed. I think Park Seo Joon feels a bit like a victim... no wonder.

I just read about Ji Sung hurting his vocal chords during filming and felt partially guilty for all the pressure to put all out.... ahh, sorry, Ji Sung ( feel weird calling him "Oppa"...if he plays "Yo Na" longer I will think he IS a girl now...)

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oh, oops, why is it not the picture I wanted to link? I am so bad at this. there was a picture of Ji Sung & the little girl playing young Ri Jin...or should I say young Do Hyun...
glad she gave the name to him cause it would feel too weird to call HER that

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Yes. And Awww!

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+1 for adorableness

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thank u for all the Awww, redfox

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That's so cute. awwwwwwww

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That was adorable!

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I love your recaps saya, and your comments...theyre spot on and brilliant. Just one small thing... pls cease with the harry potter analogies ;)

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Thanks, youre the best!!!

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Thanks for the recap. Love your take on RJ granting DH her name. It was a beautiful moment.

Another awesome moment emotionally was when RJ called out CDJ to stop SG from killing Alex. Suddenly RJ and DH were "together" for the first time since CDH saw RJ cower in terror at her recalled memories of his father's abuse.
Their sudden awareness of each other, which included a tacit acknowledgement of a shared and lingering pain, made me draw a quick breath. I think it was my favorite moment of the series between the actors. No words spoken but so much communicated. Even with Sec Ahn interrupting, they held on to the other's gaze as if their lives depended on it. Not to mention, of all the beautiful Ji Sung moments, this was one of the most powerful. I don't know if we will SG after this. His main goal in life of protecting RJ is extremely dangerous.

I made a banner, too, mostly for me, but I figure this crowd would like it.

I don't want to say good-bye to Yona, PP or SG. I even named my phone Shin Segi so we will always be "connecting" LOL. I am confident this creative team will make their last appearances epic so we can leave them in peace as CDH takes on the world as One + One with RJ.

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we need a LOAD of Kill Me, Heal Me banners here, so as to ease the ain from separation of all those characters!!! so that we can see them and think, ah there they are they did NOT disappear completely!

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Oh yes! That moment was so well acted.

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LOVE IT! Please make it, JB or GF! :D

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+ 2 I second the motion. But we do have two color palettes here re: KMHM. It's under KMHM recaps. They're really well done.
And what about a KMHM banner, yes?

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I meant a KMHM header. :p

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once and for all: which Team are you?

#TeamPerry - most strongly support Perry and all tendencies for freedom, and I think Do HYun is taking his freedom now too

#TeamSeGi best for training a puppy

#TeamYoNa I love "her" but I had a friend like that once and... *sigh* so tiring. If I were in her team I would be the manager who is always stressed and never sleeps

#TeamDoHyun always a safe team to pick. He doesn´t win so often but the world is his. (reminds me of a song we have here, "you might have the apartment, you might have the car, you took all my time, but the city is mine!")

#TeamYoSub, who kinda feels like an underdog compared to others, but I love him so much, he has intelligence (not that others don´t, but...) and he is artistic

#TeamNana so is she an incarnation of little Ri Jin or the bear? i am confused. do I like little girls or do I like bears? Neither sounds normal

#TeamMrX as in Come out already! Sheesh!

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Just my two cents, but I think Mr X from the posters probably represents Cha Joon Young.

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Yeah. I think so too. The fact that his mouth is covered probably means that he's silent, that no one knows about him - like Joon Young.

Very nice twist (again) by the writer.

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Especially since nobody knew his name until the cause of the split was revealed. He didn't exist before.

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always #TeamPerry and #TeamMrX from the beginning

PS
can I have both teams *evilgrin

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#teamyona

Hahah! I just love her. She maybe let people to be tiresome to stay around her but she is really sassy and fun.

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I agree with @gleap1984. Mr. X might probably be some type of representation of Joon-Pyo. Maybe he'll wake up and Do Hyun will turn into that alter, who knows?

Oh and I'm #TeamDoHyun (first and foremost), #TeamSeGi and #TeamPerry. :)

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I am battling between my love for Yo Sub and my love for Se Gi. I love Yo Sub to pieces, but there is something about Se Gi that gets under my skin. That I think of them as different people is a testament to how great an actor Ji Sung really is. I heard he lost his voice, I hope he gets better soon.

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Cha Do Hyun/Oh Ri Jin and Cha Joon Young/Cha Do Hyun...they really do heal and complete each other.

The way Ri Jin has handled everything really speaks to her level of empathy and knowledge as a Doctor as well

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Thanks for the recap!

I thought nothing could be funnier than Yo Na, then Do Hyun started acting as Yo Na. Gosh I just died!

I loved the whole episode. I hope the writer doesn't pull a 49 days on me and kills off someone important.

But even so, I'd still keep this drama as my number 1.

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there will be killing of evil ambitions mostly, I think

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yeah :)
Instead of killing people, they will end all those evil roots and punish all those who did wrong and worthy to be punished in the most effective way possible.

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yeah Aria, that will be more interesting plot

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Yes I can't wait Chingus. These people really deserves to be punished for their greed. They always drag innocent people into their plot to takeover power. It's time for them to see what they are doing is wrong!

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Well, actually, all of our beloved characters will die.
I can hardly stand thinking of a world without SG and YN!
:(

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Oh God! You're right. And poor segi, who wants so much to live. I hope at the end he realizes that he'll always be alive in do hyun.

And I wish Perry park gets to drink that drink he wants so much. At least yo na got to kiss ri on, so I think she's got a dream.

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I really felt so bad for him. I even yelled at the screen for them to let him have his drink. He deserves it on many different levels.

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I don't think that Do hyun's dad went back to save Ri jin from the fire out of the goodness of his heart. i think he went back because if not then the child living in the basement would have been discovered and the fact that she was abused since he had just beat her a few minutes before the fire.

But i did think that he went back out of the goodness of his heart at first so it could be either way.

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He definitely saved out of goodness of his heart. He resented the girl, for being his ex wife's lovers daughter. But, at that moment, Dad could have just taken his son out and let the fireman take care of the girl. At that point, it was an automatic reaction/response to save someone from fire, not being calculative about the world finding out about the girl. They could've easily said, it was one of the caretakers daughter, with Seungjin group anything could have been possible. I just don't understand why she was in the basement in the first place.

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I was thinking about that part too:

One is a man, coughing from smoke, wearing a tuxedo. The other is man, trained for emergencies, wearing a fire protection suit with a mask. ......why would he give the child & run back into the smoke (without a rag? without any additional tools/equipment?) to save a girl he didn't love?

We can talk about 'oh who can think straight in a fire' or maybe that the fireman doesn't know who else is there, and Joon-pyo doesn't want the world/people to know that there was another child in the home or that the child was bruised or whatever in the basement/fire.....but yea, that was an odd moment. Are we supposed to sympathize and side with Joon-pyo who has now paid for his months(?) horribleness with 21 years of coma?

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I'm not cutting him any slack.

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I do not want the show to make us sympathize with the father. Of the many things I can tolerate in a drama, child abuse is not one of them. He did not just exhibit rage fueled violence, but was downright cruel to both. To favor one child over the other is one thing, to deliberately physically punish one for another's mistakes is quite something else. If it was automatic action/response, he would have come out of that room with Ri Jin the first time around itself.
As such, I would like to know at what point his heart turned to ice and did it suddenly thaw in the fire? Or was it just fear that made him go back

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People are such complex, diverse creatures. It's possible to have pity even empathy for the man and still condemn what he did as plain horrible. That the drama was able to show this level of complexity, in what would otherwise have been your usual cardboard cut villian, is a testament to great and very layered writing.

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An example of a good layered villain is Lee Tae Joon from the recent drama Punch. If they are trying to model the dad into a Heathcliff of sorts, then they need to show it that way so that we can sympathize.

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I agree. However, in the case of Punch, the show had several episodes to develop Lee Tae Joon's character and he was such a major arc of the show. A luxury this show doesn't have for such a minor character. I still think that they were able to flesh out Joon Pyo very well considering what little screen time he got and based on other people's recollections of past events.

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The father's actions were so cruel. He was ill and CDH's mom and grandma were enablers and contributed to the abuse. As adults they should've stopped it if the father was that mental and couldn't recognize it himself. All of their greed made the adults turn a blind eye.
I did like that we saw at one point he was a good and patient father to CDH prior to going back to the mansion. I think that time when CDH was loved was enough for him to know that his father who he looked up to was not the same and he did not repeat the pattern of abuse. Unfortunately the abuse was so bad it broke his soul.
Last thing, I don't know anything about coma's but he was in one for 21 years so I was impressed he could do a sit up. But I also do not think he is cured of being a sociopath.

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Beautiful recap, Saya :)!

And yes, those snippets of childhood memories were vital, even if some felt that they were repeated ad nauseam. Every time those childhood flash backs were shown, we got something different. Initially, they were filtered through a faulty memory lens. Now we at least have the full picture, even if we would like to ask Daddy why caved into feelings of inferiority, anger, etc., and abused two young children. We viewers probably won't get answers to those types of questions, but I feel satisfied in other ways. Let's have a Killer (pun intended;nothing wrong with puns, lol!) ending show!

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Sorry about the typos and accidental omissions! I meant "...even if some individuals...."

And "...even if we would like to ask Daddy why he caved...."

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RiJin giving her/his name back to DH was my favorite part, too.

DH (and his alters) is a wonderful man (I want him!!!!) RJ is PERFECT!

This drama is close to perfection.

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+ 1

true

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Thank you for the awesome recap @Saya!!

I agree with each and every word you've said and I couldn't say it better.

I can't believe the show is ending this week! Can't we convert it into a daily instead?

That being said, I am gong to watch every project of this writer, every project of Ji-sung, and every project of HJE after this.

Waiting for Mr.X!!

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me too :)
They should take their on respective breaks and by the time they chose their next project, we'll welcome them with open arms :) (a movie from them is more than welcome)

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DEAL!!!

then we will meet again in every next project of them

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deal :) and sealed :) I will never forget it :)

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Thank you for the recaps Saya!!!

"Read this line with the weight of a thousand words: I LOVE RI-JIN. Both her gratitude and her distress over his pain are real."

~Me too :) Returning DH's name as a gift is my favorite part here. It's so significant for both of them now :)

This is the first time that I am glad that I woke up that it isn't Wednesday yet. I still need to process and calm myself that 2 days from now, this drama will soon end. I know we have a good line up of actors in 2015, but I will never ever forget that this drama is the first one that made me emotionally invest in it. So please, give us a very satisfying ending! ~

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me feel the same way too Aria, I have time to calm my heart and my mind, so they wont misplace again and yes please for the most satisfying ending in kdramaland history *winkwink

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PS

I'm so looking forward on how the writer get rid of that Lady Fox, or should we drag her out of the screen...LOL

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haha..lol
Actually, I want her to back-off with our couple and get her own happy ending :)

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--This was an episode of two decided halves: One to say goodbye to the past, and the other to usher in the future (and anyone else who wants to come along for that ride…)--

No Saya nooo, you said it so beautifully again, I know that I'm not ready for the ride but I dont have choice huhuhu, anyway thank u so much for the recap

I love RIJIN too, even from the beginning of the show, dont care how people say about her loudness, style blablah, I love her even more in every new episodes, she's one of my very lovable kdrama heroine, not like any other heroine I've encounter in dramaland

Does anyone find a way how to cure this withdrawal symptom to come please...please

*DYING

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you know, I just imagined what this years´year end Beanie award best drama character (male) category would look like... khmmm. all together or separate? no, wait, but then Yo Na...is in the male or female character category? Or would we have our very first gender neutral character? but Yo Na is as girl as can be... at least that time is still far.

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LOL

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I also am one of those who never mind the loudness(they say is intolerable) coz I know that's her character and we're right :) She's my favorite kdrama heroine..
Back to the drama..
TT.TT
I don't know what kind of dying I'll feel when Thursday comes.. Dying from missing the show or dying from happiness brought by the happy ending of our couple..
After KMHM ends, I'll watch the other dramas they are in that I haven't watched (few of them) coz I watched almost all of HJE's dramas and a few from JS...

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@lara4liwa
This happened again chingu!!! This comment ^above should have been m reply to yours...

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Lol..its okay Aria

you know I even rewatch Moon Embraces the Sun too, just to feel the vibes of this writer, but I still think that KMHM is her masterpiece

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I watched it too almost 2 years ago :)
Maybe because writernim improved more and what else can he wish for with our leads?..Their portrayal are one of the reasons the writing became even more poignant than ever :)

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You should see "Secret love", also known as "Secret", with both actors, they are excellent, and "Kim Soo Ro" with Ji Sung, he looks great and handsome, with the long hair and everything... That's my suggestion!

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actually that's the reason I watched KMHM in the first place chingu..hahaha :)
And I've been rewatching that drama each week waiting for another KMHM Episodes..
Secret and KMHM are my favorite dramas :)

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Thank your recap and excellent, insightful comments on a magnificent episode.

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AH~ yay! THANK YOUU!!

this episode was peppered with cute and sad, funny and tragic ~ all mixed up deliciously!

I like your Harry Potter analogies, having thought of one myself (mwa haha_

And I think... in tying with the whole identity thing - that if Do-hyun's dad wakes up from his coma (and I think he will, because kdramas love some karmic justice) he will have forgotten himself - lost his identity. You may think that's unfair because he wouldn't be 'properly punished' for being an abuser, but it's plot-wise fitting because little girl-Do-hyun was hidden in the basement, then hidden in Do-hyun, and now after he's healed/healing, little-girl-Do-hyun will be 'living' on in the the blank slate of Joon-pyo. I dunno, is that poor narrative to wrap the little girl up like that? It's fitting because Ri-jin our fierce and feisty heroine is perfectly fine and happy in her life - the past is left and buried in the now-powerless and weak Joon-pyo...

just speculations O__O

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true..and he will not be fully functioning because it's been more than 2 decades..

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im going to miss all the alters...this ep return to its place...we're really riding in a rollercoaster ride...from suspense(alex) to crying(Do Hyuns Name as a gift) to laughing(alters) to heartfluttering(ending) in just one ep..what could we ask for?...i might get D.I.D in here...i love you show..

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me too :)
I just realized I always say that I love this drama but not directly..so let me say this now before this drama ends :)

"I love you Kill Me, Heal Me!"

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Your declaration just reminded me of p.s. partner, another ji sung movie. His declaration ended up in a slightly different vein, but it started out exactly like yours. Made me smile. :)

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Tbh, I'm really curious with Mr. X.

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+1

same here

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Me too! I guess everyone is dying to find out and they have 2 more eps left!! Oh god, I'm ready for the drama!! :D

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wohooo!
Bring it on!!! :)

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This episode was awesome. I'm glad it wrapped up the past details well enough and we're back to the present. Seeing all of CDH's personalities again was bittersweet because I feel like we're not going to see them anymore. Yosub's scene was so precious and sad.

Yona cracks me up so much!! But CDH acting as Yona and failing was even more funny.

*sighs* Don't want this show to end..... Not sure what drama will fill the void.

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Episode 18 was a sum of every single reason as to why I love this show. Pathos, comedy, romance, and rollicking fun! I cannot praise Ji Sung and Hwang Jung Eum enough. They have this incredible ability to make you feel everything their character is feeling. They make their characters three-dimensional in a manner that I wish all other actors could learn from. Just as in Secret, these two took what they were given and made what could have been terrible cardboard-like characters blossom to incredible heights. I’m ruined for all other dramas. For eternity, or until these two pair up again.
I wanted to tear my hair out during that conversation outside Ssangri. I was like “Honestly? What’s keeping you two from each other now? And BAM, along comes our favourite ahjusshi! I love how this show pokes fun at itself sometimes. This was quite noticeable in Perry’s irritated comments. It’s satisfying, humourous, and ridiculously meta to see that this scriptwriter knows EXACTLY what she’s doing and even hilarious moments like these have a deeper purpose. Got to admit I was expecting Yona the moment Dohyun awoke. I’m beyond glad that Yosub’s back, and ridiculously sad if this might be the last of him. If anyone’s time was limited, it was Yosub. He was born out of Dohyun’s and his own depression, and for that to disappear would mean that he has no reason to exist. I’m still not sure what path this show is going to take in terms of ‘integration’ and I stick to my previous dream that all the alters will continue to exist, as Rijin said in episode 8, as a super awesome puzzle inside a super awesome being, but I hope that today wasn’t Yosub’s farewell. I loved that gentle kiss he gave Rijin though. I hope he stays and finds a new reason for existing instead of death. Write that poem, Yosub-ah, live for your dream. Go on and insult Omega to his face (I’d love to see how that goes), just don’t leave.
Queen Yona the Fantastic returns once more to wreck havoc on poor Ri On’s heart. See this is what I loved so much about this show the unusual humour popping up right when you expect a weepfest. We’d plenty of the latter the last three episodes, so I literally screamed for joy when the alters began to go in and out of Dohyun’s body like a revolving door (yes, that was a IHYV pun). But even that has a purpose besides giving us a belly of laughs. It’s amazing how just two sentences on Ri On’s part can make so many lightbulbs go on. Dohyun has thought of himself and the alters as fragments of a monster for an incredibly long time, and even they’re aware to some extent of how they do make life difficult for him (though most like Yona, Perry and Segi, just don’t care about it) so it’s amazing to see how they’re protecting him now, aware that he doesn’t have the courage to face Rijin but they sure as hell do. What’s even better is that they all truly like Rijin and are willing to cover for her and Dohyun’s relationship. From Perry insisting that he wasn’t the one dating her,...

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...to Yosub sadly admitting that Dohyun won’t be attempting suicide, to Yona ‘fixing’ Rijin’s hair, these people all love Dohyun and her in some strange fashion. Once can say that there’s some self-presevation in there, because if Dohyun dies, so do they. I’m not saying they’re entirely altruistic (Yona, especially) but they do care, in an odd fashion. The very personalities Dohyun believed made him broken, are now the people who are trying to make him whole and that is ridiculously heartwarming.
I really, really love Rijin. I love her inner strength, and outer strength (whoa she sure gave that Alex fellow what for) and wacky sense of humour (did you see that look her face when Yona was trying to tumble her brother?) but best of all I love her empathy and sheer love for Dohyun. Once he finally puts his hand out to her, admitting to just how much he cares, she’s more than willing to do the rest and jump in once more. Only it’s even better now, because there aren’t any secrets between the two. Thank goodness for Rijin’s continued awesomeness to change that first clause into something I’ve been clamoring for since ep 15. That’s it you two, work it all out together. The upcoming obstacles almost seem paltry, in the fact of this new happiness. Alex, Seungjin Group, whatever the hell Chaeyeon and Evil Grandma are planning, all of that vanishes the moment Dohyun takes Rijin in his arms. I swear I felt like I was watch Beauty and Beast, or intruding on some couple’s playtime, when Dohyun whisked her away in that twirl at the end. Holy, moly ravioli, I nearly died of pleasure. Now don’t let go of each other you hear me? Rijin, just tie him up against if you have to. That’s a total of three bonds, contractual, physical, plus that red string of fate. Dohyun’s never getting away again. As Rijin said to Evil Grandma, which Dohyun has learnt through much hardship, rather than creating a new beginning what’s important is to begin anew and create a wonderful ending.
And that is what I’m expecting from you, you brilliant beautiful show. Somehow I know I won’t be disappointed.
PS: Props to King Segi, himself, for obeying Rijin’s every command and I died of laughter the moment he gave up trying to keep rule number three.
Further thoughts and screencaps at: http://unstoppablesun.com/2015/03/06/kill-me-heal-me-ep-18-review-and-were-back-on-track-baby/#more-4150

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I ♥ your comment :)
And I agree that maybe the one that can top this drama can only come from another FUTURE drama of JS and HJE.

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Thanks for writing pretty much everything I wanted to say but didn't have the energy to type out. Oh, I love this show.

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"They have this incredible ability to make you feel everything their character is feeling."

I agree with this 100%!!! The scene at the beach where Do Hyun and Ri Jin separated made me so emotional that I felt as though I was going through a break up. Same goes with the hospital scene from the day before where Do Hyun asks Ri On to let him spend one more day with Ri Jin and they both start to cry why Do Hyun mentions all the meaningful things about Ri Jin.
Never in a drama have I felt CRAZY emotional to the point I felt like I was a character in that drama!!

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Thanks so much Saya! This is a great recap and analysis.

I really like the motif of inversion, of coming around full circle and of how both Ri Jin and Do Hyun heal themselves and each other.

If there's anything to be taken to heart for our own lives from this show, it's to not just go for the obvious, 'most natural' reaction to pain inflicted by others (such as revenge), but rather to have the will and ability to respond to the needs of even the flawed 'bad' characters, to reframe a situation so that there can be healing instead of more pain and guilt. The choices Ri Jin makes in the face of so much trauma, are a lesson to take home.

When we consider that there is both shadow and light in our lives, and so much grey... can even the dad of Joon Young's/Do Hyun's boyhood who laughed and loved his son not be given a route to redemption? Or Do Hyun's mum or grandma?

In two more episodes, I hope we get to find out if the original Chairman and Seo Yeon died due to an accident or not, and who might have been responsible, what Chae Yeon's meddling will do for the love triangle trope and how Do Hyun will overcome Ki Joon's machinations. I hope 2 episodes are enough!!! :)

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+ the amalgamation of the personalities..

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True, Aria! Must not forget integrating Do Hyun.

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I didn't really enjoy Ep 17 tbh but thank goodness for this episode because Yo-Na!!! Yo-Sub!! Perry Park!!! And I didn't even realise I'd missed Shin Se-gi (and his eyeliner) until he turned up!! I'm so happy we got to see more of Yo-sub - he's always been one of my favourite personalities.

Also, the hug at the end!! I cringed so bad at the slo-mo, but it was so sweet. :D

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I can't help but think if Lee seung-gi could have pulled it off like Ji-sung.
This drama is my new crack. Somehow, all the awesome dramas(I have seen) this year, till now have the word "heal" in them. :p
This OTP just kills me.
Now come heal me by signing a movie together.

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waaa!!!! me too :)
I wanted a movie from them..
Maybe a year from now? :)

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*fingers crossed* i hope so.

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The fun part is back. Thanks Saya and Purplecow for writing the recaps. It's approaching for its last week and i sincerely hope our writer nim will listen to my prayer that there is no OTP separation again!

I laughed hysterically again when I saw Rijin imitating Yona. It is so so SO FUNNY that I want to tear. I didn't see it coming for Joon Young to imitate Yona. Hahahah. (Laugh again).

Isn't Yosub the sweetest when he kiss Rijin on her cheek? It felt real for little boy who harbour some romantic feelings for a Noona who sort of saved him. I was really touched and I'm glad that he is healing. :')

As for Yona scenes, I rewatched it at least 10 times raw or sub. Hahaha. It is so funny that I couldn't contain my laughter every time I watch it. The bunny Pjs is her signature look!

I think all personalities love Rijin. It does not matter whether they carry romantic feelings or not, but they love her in their own way. It is sweet and it is one of the most meaningful character development I watched in a drama for a long long time. It is always love to heal both of them. :'))

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Same here :)
This is the very thing that never occurred to me before this drama started. I never thought that I would fall or even care for all the personalities at the start. But boy, I am very wrong. It now saddens me that as much as this show, the more I will miss are all the interactions of the characters especially with RJ and the alters.
I just wish there will be a proper goodbye for each and everyone so I can also feel relieved and happy for I care so much in everything in this show.

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SAME HERE. I got a nice Yosub farewell which made me feel so happy! I hope every single of them get their happy ending. :D

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LOL, yes, those bunny PJs!

How is it that whenever they appear, Se Gi always manages to find a leather outfit, Perry always digs out a Hawaiian shirt, and Yo Na - does Ri Jin have multiple bunny PJs lying around wherever she goes?

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lol don't they have separate boxes of clothing for themselves? and I guess Ri Jin just keeps her PJs out in case Yo Na shows up lol :P

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I liked this ep. so muchh... SeGi never disappoints to cut Do hyun's melo and go for RiJin. Even if it can mean he might "disappear" he seems to be rooting for Do Hyun to recover and be with RJ... I loled with how he was all "not using violence: damn it! damn it!" cursing himself in the sexy Segimobile for the promises he made ROFL Perry Park,still with Do Hyun's teary eyes, complaining about the "melodrama" DH was filming with RJ was epic!!! I was like about to cry but started loling! My baby YoSub that makes me want to cry without saying a word made me cry again with his farewell and how he talked about how Yona and him were born... The forever fabulous Yona dolling herself up in the middle of the night was priceless xD Hope we can see them all one more time before they merge for good

Im kinda relieved it was JY that came with the idea of preserving Do Hyun's name as NANA inside him and not something that awful mom or crazy grandma thought of but they still are awful people that could stop all that and didnt... When Grandma said DH might be broken since he was a kid made me want to slap her... REALLY? how u expect a kid forced to witness such abuse to have no issues?!!

The only thing im disappointed was that I was eagerly W-A-I-T-I-N-G for RJ and Alex encounter... like, I pictured her making him fly with one swift move like when she threw poor Do Hyun but I was like ?? when she stayed there screaming... you changed gurrl :(

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Hey goldeng!

Agree with you on the Ri Jin & Alex's encounter. She talked about Ri On toughening her up all her life in the previous episode and in the end she didn't execute any chops on Alex.

I'll give her the benefit of doubt though. Maybe she was really caught off guard and has never had to protect herself from any real danger before. Her skills are exclusively for her patients perhaps?

Now..just what would Alex's info bring to our plot..HMMMM

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you are right, Ri Jin didn´t actually need Se Gi to save her she could have swung Alex by herself.

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Me too. I think she remembered the true horror of a twisted man, so she haven't fully recover from it.

About Alex: when I saw him betraying his friend, I WAS LIKE "THERE IS NO FAITH IN HUMANITY!" ><

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I don't think Alex was ever an actual friend. He probably just hung around Do-hyun and then started blackmailing him for keeping his DID a secret.

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Thanks for the recap! And here's to an awesome heroine! :)

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Daebak! Masterful insights in the comments, Saya. This is why we keep coming to this site/DB. Thank you.

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Saya I love reading your recaps! So insightful and thoughtful, I enjoy reading them just as much as I enjoy watching KMHM, and that's probably the highest compliment possible. Thank you!!

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I was remembering the time that Do Hyun spoke to Se Gi in his mind, saying, "I am going to be you. You are going to be me." And it mirrors what happened in Joon Young... that he totally lost himself and became Do Hyun. Now he has to say the same thing to 5 or 6? other personalities and get himself properly integrated.

What I find puzzling is how he had so little identity as Joon Young that he has totally forgotten his own self. Although he can and will probably always embrace the name of Cha Do Hyun, will his integration actually bring back Joon Young with all memories intact?

If Ki Joon can prove that Do Hyun is an imposter, can his name be taken from him (and will he be forced to become Joon Young) again?

Will Ri Jin, who is the real Do Hyun, ever have the chance to be heir to SJ Group?

So many questions, so little time!!!

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Well, it's not that Joon Young become Cha Do Hyun. It's more like he took her name and not her personality, so technically he didn't forget his own "self".

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While it's true that he did not lose his personality, he lost his identity. To hear his own name and not recognize it at all as the name he had been given, is the self I was referring to.

Come to think of it, both children protected themselves so well from the trauma that both did not recognize their own names or remember their pasts. Ri Jin could not even recognize her own mother. Scary amazing and sad, ... but the only way their minds could continue to function.

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Thanks for the great recap, Saya!

Awww at Ri Jin "giving" the name (back) to him. He's fought long and hard to protect the memory/identity of "Cha Do Hyun", even to the extent of fighting his own identity - if anyone's grown into a name and earned the right to it, he certainly has!

I think that Se Gi was born out of the need to save little Ri Jin, and afterwards, Joon Young's other personalities were created in response to the guilt of not being able to save her (which led him to live life for and on behalf of his dear lost friend), and the tremendous pressure of suppressing his core identity.

It's tragic that Jun Pyo's abuse of Ri Jin/DH started with the Chairman luring Min Seo Yeon back with the promise of legitimising her daughter (thereby accidentally de-legitimising Jun Pyo's son in the process and setting off the chain reaction), and it's equally tragic that it was the little boy himself decided to become "Cha Do Hyun", and Greedy Mom was originally just going along with it to try and recover her son's will to live after the fire.

My favourite moment was when they were lying facing each other on the floor and he said to her: "Don't go. Stay by my side." They're tied together by the string of childhood connection and fate (and the actual rope), but then they also choose to take each other's hands and affirm that unbreakable connection, thereby validating everything they've gone through so far, both together and apart.

According to Seungjin Group's warped mindset, these two children were identities that couldn't co-exist, but at every chance, Ri Jin and Do Hyun/Se Gi seek to validate each others' existence and self-worth. This episode showed just how awesomely they both lived up to the name "Cha Do Hyun" and in doing so, "Kill Me, Heal Me" has also validated its name 100%!

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Which is the 7th personality of CDH?

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Mr. X, but he's not appeared yet

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Yupp. And i think that mr.x isn't new alter, just like nana, he just sleep and dohyun never recognize him. But come to think it again, yosub seems not knowing him too. Or he just the real personality of dohyun/junyoung?

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can't wait for the finale omg

there's one part I've been confused on though:
in the 1st episode, when Se Gi says something about like, January 7th, 2015, 10 pm sharp-- the time I fell for you, is that referring to his childhood, or the present?

I seriously wonder what Ri On's role in this incident is though ._.

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The date was the present but he was referring to the past promise time of 10PM when he visited her.

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I just realized this

Yosub to Rijin = Noona
Yonah to Rion= Oppa

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I had to laugh at the "Bunny Do-hyun" XD

I'm seriously hoping that Mr. X won't be "Do Hyun/Joon Young when all the personalities are combined" since to me, that doesn't feel like he's completely healed.

During the scene with Yo-Sub, I tried to imagine what it would be like if he suddenly changed to Se-gi. I just couldn't. I already knew that Ji-sung is a really good actor (as we all do, right?) but I kept comparing Do Hyun/JY's character with the other personalities. THAT shows some great acting already, but trying to see Yo-sub and Se-gi as the same person made me just admire his acting even more.

Gonna miss this drama...
I wouldn't mind if there were 4 more episodes or something like that.

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yeah I wouldn´t mind some "special episodes", like, some event with Yo Na that we didn´t witness, or something...

or they can just show us the "making of drama" in 14 episodes LOL

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What a beautiful, breathtaking, awesome episodes! With so many touching and gratifying moments!!! This show really does have the most amazing characters, so loveable!!!
Yo-na, Do-hyun, Se-gi, Ri-jin, Ri-on - damn I'll miss this bunch so much!
Unforgettable
This show beat the odds and became one in a thousand!!!

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awesome episode i loved it it was great to see the alters back i'll miss them. this week is the final two episodes :(

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I pretty much would piggy back on what everyone has said...the episode was excellent. I'm glad most of the melodrama is over and we're back to the original feel of the show. Our OTP is amazing.

Looking back I'm also really happy with Ri-On. As much as he warned our lead that he would be a bad friend but a friend nonetheless....I actually really like him and think he's been very good to everyone. All my concerns about what they were going to do with his character have gone out the window. I do wish they'd kept him as just a really good brother but *shrug* at least they kept the blah parts to a minimum. I think he has a good heart and genuinely cares about others.

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