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Spill the Beans: Real-life drama support groups and spreadsheet conversions

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Rosedalian may have one of the most interesting tales yet on how media has shaped her life:

It is no secret that my life has been largely shaped by my love of films and TV. A teenage obsession with Braveheart led me to my Scottish husband. Indiana Jones? A career in archaeology! Goodbye, Lenin? Hello, PhD in Eastern European history! And K-drama? Well, needless to say, my love of K-drama changed my life.

It all started when I was working on my dissertation, and I foolishly (gloriously?) took a break to watch Boys Over Flowers on Netflix. It was awful. It was wonderful. It was the beginning of at least a three year extension to my writing process… after all, who wants to write about communist waste water systems when you could be watching City Hunter? Unfortunately, my PhD started taking so long that my department threatened to throw me out if I didn’t finish within the year. I clearly needed help. So, I got myself an academic coach, and with her assistance, I found a way to balance my love of dramas with my love of not destroying my life. I finished my PhD. (Phew!)

After graduation, my previous K-drama, er… drama… led me to take a job at the university learning center where, among other things, I run a program for students on academic probation. Unsurprisingly, a significant number of these students are on probation because of K-dramas! That’s right. I now basically run a K-drama support group. (I know you all were wondering if such a thing existed—well, it does. Possibly at your university.) And that is how K-drama changed my life and led me to a much more satisfying career in student support, rather than a life discussing 1960s rural hygiene. (No seriously, people actually do that for a living…)

 

 
Learning when to put a drama addiction on hold is a skill I’m sure we all wish we had. Mary shares her story:

Hello Dramabeans,

I guess that most drama addictions either start by watching Boys Over Flowers or You’re Beautiful. Mine was no different. I started getting addicted to the beautiful world of Korean dramas after watching You’re Beautiful, which my sister got from her friend.

In no time, I had watched every single drama that aired until 2012, and didn’t wait to watch the currently airing ones, too. I was totally taken into this perfect world, mainly because it was so different from what real life is… well, taking into account me being Indian. Korean dramas were an escape, an escape so good that I often forgot I had a life other than that.

It did not take much time for my studies to mess up. I did really poorly for three years, which is when I had to prepare for the medical school entrance exams. Because at that time, the only thing that gave me hope was my dramas.

But thank God I came through at the last minute and pulled myself together, and got into a medical school. Till now I have watched more than fifty dramas, and I even watch variety shows. Even my morning routine starts by checking into drama news sites like Dramabeans. I have loved the Korean language so much that now I can understand the dramas without subtitles—though there are blanks here and there, I am pretty proud of it.

And even though I am still an addict, I know when to shelf my addiction.

 

 
September may have one of the coolest friends ever:

So I’m a pretty recent K-drama convert. In high school, I had friends who liked them, but me and my BFF, we had our own stuff. Mostly American TV shows and horror flicks. But I think around 2014, after deciding to brush up on her Korean language skills, my best friend (who is Korean, “whitewashed” by her own admission) started to become more interested in Korean culture, which soon naturally extended to K-dramas. And, well, she’s never been the type to half-ass anything.

She went full-on K-drama fan. Soon she wanted to share her obsession with me too. I wasn’t particularly keen on it. And I can be pretty stubborn about my likes/dislikes. I dodged her pleads for a while. But my best friend can be very determined. So determined, that she wrote me a goddamn 250-word essay about why I might enjoy K-dramas, accompanied by a spreadsheet where she listed her favorites (organized by genre) with a brief summary, a rating out of 10, pros and cons of watching it, reasons why I specifically would love it, and how long a time commitment it was. Yup. There was nothing else I could do.

I told her she was completely nuts, and then I picked something to watch from the spreadsheet: Healer. So at first it was weird getting used to subtitles. And remembering Korean names. And, uh, sixty-minute-long episodes TWO times a week? But so so so many good things: a fantastic romance wrapped up in compelling action, complex heroes and villains, multiple awesome female characters who are awesome in different ways, so much cuteness, surprisingly excellent cinematography (lighting, lens quality etc were all far better than I expected), a complete and cohesive story, and sixty minutes TWO TIMES A WEEK.

So yeah, I loved it (even with the slightly unsatisfying ending). And I had such a fantastic time, (and even though my best friend was absolutely insufferable about being right) that I decided to give another drama a try. And like, ten dramas, a lot of “I told you so’s” and many many coffee-fueled late night Skype discussions later, here I am. And, well, I’m not even halfway finished with the spreadsheet, but my friend’s evil plan has succeeded. No one could have predicted it, but I have been converted. Actually, right now she’s blowing up my phone about the last episode of W. (JULES I LOVE YOU.)

 

 
It wouldn’t be an awesome community without readers like you, appie!

Hi Beanies,

So I got introduced to dramaland in my 9th standard which was three years back. My sister introduced me to it. My first drama was Boys Over Flowers, and even though I make fun of it now, it was addictive as hell. But in two years—that is, till the end of 10th standard, I had managed to watch only three dramas as I had no one to gush about them with.

Last year I changed schools, and there I met my best friend who was also a K-drama fan and reintroduced me to it. It was You From Another Star that totally did it for me, and hence my life as a fangirl began. It was also during this stage when I discovered Dramabeans, and I can never thank you guys enough for this site. Seeing fangirls like me and having people to gush about K-dramas with is really a blessing for me, as not many friends of mine watch dramas.

By now I have watched around 30-40 dramas and made my sister a total fangirl too. Now I address her as “Unni,” and even made our parents learn a few Korean words. I don’t know whether the K-dramas are boon or bane for me, but I am really thankful to my best friend for introducing me to dramaland, and to Dramabeans for being an awesome community.

 

 
Dear yhang, please send us pictures of the Running Man puppies. The world needs to see them.

My love for K-dramas started casually, I think back on 2003. A local network here in my country aired a dubbed version of Successful Story of a Bright Girl, where Jang Nara was the lead. I was only nine years old. It was a breath of fresh air during that time because most of the foreign shows on TV back then were mostly Mexican dramas and some Taiwanese dramas. (Fact: K-dramas are known as Korean novelas here in the Philippines.) From Winter Sonata to Dae Jang Geum, Goong, and a lot more, I was able to watch them from our TV, in my own language. Let’s just say that that was the phase of my life when TV and I were one. That appliance was as good as my first love.

But during my teenage years I somehow fell out of love of television ’cause I met the internet. My dad bought me my first laptop and finally had our home connected to a decent internet. Everything went down for real after that, especially when I learned that you could download videos from the good ‘ol internet. At first my mom didn’t understand my hype. She found it odd (and actually irritating) that I liked watching shows that were not of my own language. She knew that I spent too many sleepless nights watching, and that just ticked her off. That and the fact that I was able to drag my siblings with me.

Aside from dramas, I also discovered Korean variety shows. I first watched Running Man while it was only on its fifth episode, and I’ve seen every episode that came after since then. I made my siblings watch it once, they binge-watched the previous episodes, and it has become a weekend routine since then. Right now, 1 Night 2 Days has also become part of it.

Eventually, my mom got curious about what we’ve been watching every Saturday on our TV (I download Running Man episodes), complaining that we were being too loud, and decided to sit down with us. And months after, my dog gave birth and Mom named the puppies Haha, Kookie, Kwang-soo and Ji-hyo. (Do you know how weird it is to call your own dog Haha? I do.) After that I slowly introduced K-dramas that I like to her. And now I have a list of dramas that I’ll tell her to watch. The latest one ticked off my dramas-mom-will-probably-like list was Oh Hae-young Again. It was currently airing then, but she watched the first five episodes in one sitting. For the rest of the episodes, since I just go home every weekend, she’ll bother me every time for the new ones. I learned then to see to it next time that I’ll make her watch something after the last episode’s broadcast. Or else I’ll face the wrath of the impatient mother.

My dad, too. He works mostly overseas, but he easily bonds with us when it comes to what we watch. He loved the Korean movies I recommended most, and I remembered well how much he laughed when I made him watch Cha Tae-hyun’s Speedy Scandal. Just a few weeks ago, my mom told me that she watched the copy of Salute D’Amour that I gave to her with him, and they find it sweet.

It’s not odd anymore when friends, aunties, and cousins approach me if there is already “a new one,” referring to the raw drama episodes I get online. It’s like I’m the friendly neighborhood dealer who’ll help you feed your growing addiction.

Before K-dramas and K-variety, my family mostly spent the weekend in our own rooms, minding our own business. But now, we learned that the best way to watch something is when you are with family. The laughter is louder. I was able to find out their likes and dislikes through the shows. And we even get to hate on the show together if it turned out to be boring in the end. We found a common ground that everyone enjoys, even if it’s not anything Korean-related. As long as there is the monitor, a decent sound system, shows to binge-watch, and some snacks to nibble, our weekends will never be boring again.

 

 
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This edition of Spill the Beans made me smile so widely on my morning commute. ?

I always felt that K-dramas weren't just, well, K-dramas the way art isn't just art. And philosophy isn't just philosophy.

(I would elaborate if my brain is more functional but fingers crossed that you get what I mean) and shoutout to the Beanies featured in this article - ???

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I get what you mean.

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@Klava ???

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Appie!!! I don't know who you are but I will find you and befriend you. We have EXACTLY the same situation. I'm also from the Philippines, my family also bonds by watching Running Man, which my sister downloads every Wednesday and my dad also works overseas but he enjoys kmovies as well. We don't have dogs though.

I'm very happy seeing people who share the same love as mine. Thank you for bringing us together, Dramabeans!

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hello sissy
im from the Philippines too.. Ive been addicted to Kdrama since i cant even remember lol.. i may have seen 60 to 80 dramas all in all.. i lost count.. I knew that lots of us filipinas are also kdrama addict.. its just nice to read comments written from my own country..
DRAMABEANS is my lifeline.. i may not comment much but i open this site every single day..
cant thank enough

saranghaeyo..

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I'm a Filipina too and a kdrama addict. So happy with this spill the beans write up this week. I can totally relate. ?

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Always such a great kdrama community on dramabeans!! I remember watching boys over flowers while studying for my finals in college, glad I still made it through despite all the late nights hunting for the most updated subs :p
I can relate to watching all the episodes of running man. Can't believe how many hours of my life I've spent on it. But I love having seen the show mature, and growing to know the cast members and characters so well!
Dramas and variety shows are still my little escape when I need to be reminded of the happy coincidences that sometimes happen in life, or when I just want a good laugh. And they make time at the gym that much more tolerable ;)

Love all you beanies <3

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Aww, these stories are so adorable! :) Made me so happy- I want to share my story here too!

I've always been a big anime fan (since 3rd grade), and starting watching a bit of JDorama too in my teens (I can understand and speak a smattering of Japanese still :D). Anime is one of the biggest loves of my life, and I had heard some mangas were adapted in Korea too and were highly popular (such as Hana Yori Dango- Boys over flowers).

My limited exposure to Korean cinema came through university, where tons of girls would have lots of Korean Rom Coms (My Sassy Girl, Millionaires first love, My little wife or something like that). There's only so many times you can rewatch all the 80's and 90s high school Romcoms (my great weakness, especially before exams). So I watched these movies and really enjoyed them.

I moved abroad and started working a few years ago, and I found myself with no time to actively follow US TV series, my main squeeze. Most of my favourites were ending, and quite a few I liked were flagging.

I needed to satisfy my Binge watching needs, and Netflix one day recommended My Love Eun Dong. After that, it's history.

I love tales of difficult Romances, forbidden love, Angsty melodrama. I blame a childhood growing up on clichéd Indian TV serials. :P I really adored My Love Eun Dong, because it managed to convey that love and pain, without being absolutely over-dramatic. I started some of Netflix's other offerings, then heard about Dramafever and Viki. And started satisfying my need for binge watches.

I like how most series are miniseries, you go in, watch it and go out. Less commitment over several seasons, and most of the good ones are nicely wrapped up. And such a wide variety of unique dramas! (Though I wish there was more sci-fi).

And now, just like Japanese, I can understand a smattering of Korean. I can also sing in them. :D

And the best part, making friends/connections. I was in the supermarket yesterday (in the Middle East where I live), where I heard girls giggling over a clip that sounded 'Ya! Gukbap issekiya!' (from MDBC) and started giggling right in front of them. I explained I also follow MDBC, and we bonded for 10 minutes about the show while my puzzled colleague looked on. :P

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Yhang. I'm also from the Philippines and honestly I envy you since your family gets to bond through Korean dramas. My family doesn't understand my obsession and they think it's only an obstruction to my studies. However, I'm excelling in school in despite of all the dramas I watch. And the fact that I enjoy watching Korean dramas more than watching our local Filipino dramas. Stories have more variety in Korean dramas in contrast with Filipino dramas.

For me, K-dramas is more than what it is. Especially, since we have this community, Dramabeans! I enjoy reading all your insights about the show we all love and watch. Thank you to all the Beanies out there.

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I loved all the stories today, can't stop smiling.
Hmm i might name my plants Park hae jin, Doong ki, Hyun bin,Ji chang wook, Lee sang woo and Eric.

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These Spill the Beans stories were great! Thanks for sharing!

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Spills the Beans and Boys Over Flowers are inseparable. BOF is the culprit for starting kdrama addiction. Each time I read Spills the Beans, there will always be someone who falls into its trap. It's like a drug. It's bad but it makes you feel good. And then you will start to look for other kinds of 'drugs' too. Your life will never be the same again.

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Loved every story today! :)

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❤️

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Awwww, this is great I feel like less of a crazy person with my binge watching! I just discovered Korean dramas 5 months ago in the midst of closing my business, getting married, moving to a foreign country, learning a difficult language, adjusting to the culture, laying to rest a grandmother and finding out my sister has breast cancer (she's beating it!). Life is so lifey and all these shows are such a great escape, I get to cry out all my frustrations and there's always the happy ending to boot.

I'll have to curb this addiction a little and join the real world, but in the meantime, it's easing my mind :)

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But @DanishDork, why should we curb this "addiction"? I put addiction in quotes because I don't consider it an addiction. We are in a very satisfying love affair with K-dramas. We can stop watching whenever we want...but why would we? If it ain't broke right? I loved the story about the support group and I was about to say "sign me up!" then I realised that would be like saying I have a problem...I don't. I mean sure I sometimes go through that day's classes feeling like a zombie(although I'm not entirely sure how zombies feel) because I slept at 4am watching K-dramas but that's normal. Who needs 8 hours of sleep anyway? And sure I'm learning Korean so I can communicate with my oppas when I go to Korea to visit them but there's nothing weird or creepy about that. Nothing at all. I do not have a problem. I'm in love with K-Dramas and no it's not an addiction...

......I may be in denial :(

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Had to delurk and say how much i love the way you say you don't have a problem you are just in love with K-dramas and no it's not an addiction.

Denial nooo what's that ;) Btw i 100% agree with you so should there a "non support group" for people not addicted just deeply devoted i'll join asap!

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Thanks so much for my new favorite phrase, "life is so lifey". A happy welcome to our club, glad you found us. Say "hi!" to the real world, look forward to seeing you back here soon ?

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Fellow Filipino here. I stopped watching Filipino dramas by 2007 and just watched Korean dramas up until now( although I've already watched tons of kdramas since 2003).
I find Filipino dramas to be overly cliche and Korean dramas tend to have more variety to choose from.

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Me too started watching korean dramas in cable since 1998 when bae yung joon was still a teenager and now im a grandma 65 y/o still watching the latest drama and rewatching my favorites old ones. Its making my life complete after my husband passed away in 2011 it makes my days livable and happy. Thanks K dramad

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I can totally relate to Mary word to word including the fact that I had got my addiction from my sister who got it from her friend except in my case its my chartered accountancy exams instead of medical.my addiction started in 2005 from Green Rose then full house and ultimate favourite of everyone goong ,boys over flowers and it's still continues till date .
My daily routine starts from checking drama sites and dramabeans.with a week to go for my exams ,I haven't found a solution to my addiction yet .

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May I ask why isn't there a recap of jealousy incarnate episode 17 and 18?

Thanks

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Ha ha.. That’s how I ended up on this post as well Leci. While I was looking for JI recaps. I reckon the recaps are out on the weekends.

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Yet.

The recaps come as our recappers' schedules permit. Sometimes they're super fast and we rejoice at our luck, and sometimes not. Our gratitude knows no bounds, whenever we get them.

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Mary you have to tell me how did you shelf your addiction! I too have to prepare for Medical Entrance Exam and I have no idea how to stop watching dramas and study.

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The first Korean drama that I've ever watched was Endless Love starring Song Hye Kyo and Song Seung Hoon (and Won Bin!). But I didn't know the actors name back then. I was an elementary student when it was being aired at a TV channel in my country. Some K-dramas were being aired after Endless Love. But the main gate to my K-drama addiction was Queen Seon Deok where I found my first sageuk crush Bidam. Thanks to Kim Nam Gil, I started to find out actor's names everytime I watch a drama and felt more familiar with Korean actors-actresses more than the celebrity in my own country.

Dramabeans is the only place where I can pour out my thought and feelings about k-dramas now since I have no one to talk to about it in my workplace.
Thank you Dramabeans and Beanies :D I love you all to the moon and back !

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I didn't know there were support groups!

That's like the moment you realize that pressing the steam button on the iron makes ironing go so. much. faster...

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I am an African that went to school all over the world, i guess that's one of the reasons i can adapt easily with different cultures.

I lived in Malaysia for 5 years and my roommates were from Thai and best friend from Indonesia. They converted me to Kdrama, specifically Full House (Rain...hottie).

Till this day none of my family members can watch Kdrama, and none of my friends are here with me in US, i am kinda alone when it comes to watching it.

Dramabeans is the only site i come to comment and also read from my fellow addicts.

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I treat my drama watching like alcohol: living in a rainy climate made binge-watching acceptable and I found myself ignoring duties and commitments, so....no binge-watching (unless it's a drama with mini-episodes) and no watching before dinner. After dinner, it's like sitting down several glasses of wine. After 2 (at the most 3) episodes, I cut myself off. This works out well for me--

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Wooow! It's so interesting that most stories of drama addict sound the same! How odd is that Boys Over Flowers seems to be the trigger?? ??? My addiction also started with BOF. During my last semester of my Master's degree, a friend introduced me VIki, and woow! I cannot count how many dramas I have watched so far! No one around me understands this, so I am very glad I found this website. Kdramas really help me escape reality, and they make me look forward to something, every day, every week. I like this feeling, although I know I need to learn how to live a more balanced life.

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What a great collection of stories! I love all of them (the spreadsheet, though, sounds crazy cool and is now emblazoned in my mind).

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I've never been interested in a subject long enough to be good at it. So it is an absolute wonder that I picked up Korean just because I love watching Korean dramas.

My mum loved Korean dramas so much that I eventually gave in when Dae jang Geum and Full House aired. 5 years later I decided to try to learn Korean just by watching dramas. I realised I was familiar with the sentence structure and could differentiate the vocab and the grammar. So I took mental notes whenever a character kept repeating a particular word. For example, in W, it was 맥럭. Within 6 months, I could understand 60% of dramas. I remember my mother being shocked when I started interpreting what was on TV. haha (kbs world news was not subbed and I only interpreted what a foreign basketball player said in basic korean)

Around the same time, star golden bell had this game segment where guests would have to come up with words starting with ㅁㅁ,ㅁㄹ and so on. Hangeul seemed easy so I decided to memorise it. The kbs world website taught me and I memorised it in 30 mins.

By the time I started learning Korean formally, level 1 was a breeze because I knew all the 1200 basic vocabulary words already. But I didn't know how to spell many of them and had almost zero knowledge of korean grammar. It started becoming really difficult at level 4 though. I made many grammar mistakes and Hanja is such a pain. urgh.

Until now, I know more words than I have read. So I don't know how to spell most words and have to look up the dictionary.

I keep saying this but I think dramabeans fueled my addiction. In high school I had to juggle school and theatre and did not have time for dramas. So I read dramabeans on the train. It was so much fun that I didn't find the need to watch the dramas. I don't like to read but dramabeans sucked me in with her wit and taught me vocabulary that I wouldn't otherwise know. Dramabeans helped me appreciate character motivation and the intentions of the director, the writer, the actor. Which helped me in theatre... as well as my own catharsis at points in life where I did not understand what was going on or could not explain what i was feeling. Kdrama was like a best friend.

I haven't been able to make Kdrama a part of my main career though. Which is a small dream of mine. I admire all those in this column who have been able to do so.

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Me toooooo~ I got hooked on DB because the recaps were so good and there was a time when my internet was crap and it's not worth it trying to stream shows. With DB, there's no need to wait for subs anymore, plus they explain the cultural stuff which adds extra meaning to the scenes. And even if you don't comment, it's just fun reading others reaction to the ep.

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Oh, I wasn't clear, haha. I meant me too about the "It was so much fun that I didn’t find the need to watch the dramas." part. ^___^

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Hold up hold up hoolllddddd upppp. MARY. You're a doctor?? OK I suddenly have so much hope. It is possible to be a kdrama fanatic and successful in life?

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I've cut the cable and become reliant on my ROKU and Apple TV boxes. One eve, about 2 years ago, I was finding nothing that interested me on NETFLIX or AMAZON but was scrolling NETFLIX anyway..yawning, bored, low in expectation. Then I saw the promo pic for MOON THAT EMBRACES THE SUN and paused, thinking "those costumes are pretty, I wonder what this is about?" So, I checked it out.

"Wait, this is KOREAN? Oh what the hek, I'll give it a try." I was intrigued w/ the 1st episode and decided that no matter how "foreign" it seemed to me, I would continue w/it. Then Kim Soo Hyun appeared and I was..."dang, he's actually rather...handsome, I'm definitely gonna keep watching this!" Well, there I go broadening my perception of masculine (sex)appeal. Next I watched CITYHUNTER, SECRET GARDEN, YOU FROM ANOTHER STAR...I know, I chose well right out the gate. These shows sealed the deal, I was hooked.

The biggest culture shock was getting used to male tears. In the U.S. that is not an openly accepted thing for men to do, it has to be a major emotional punch in the gut for people to empathize w/ a man crying; he could find himself shoved into a trunk of a car until he gets ahold of himself.

However, KDramas make it look like Korean men cry ALL THE TIME, almost daily. Ok, whatever....I've gotten used to it, and I keep reminding myself these KDramas' are cousins to our Soap Opera's...for the most part, not a very broad or realistic representation of a country's true culture. Soaps, Telenovas, and KDrama's are, mostly, about entertainment.

I found DRAMABEANS soon after I started KDrama's and go to this site almost daily to check out news, recaps and reviews. I'm "woman of a certain age", so, very few of my contemporaries would consider this "normal". Pre-dementia, perhaps? It's good to know there are others like me:)

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Thanks as always, beanies, for speaking me.

September - tell Jules she is not the only one with a spreadsheet! Mine counts, rates and tells me how many hours a day I have watched since I started in 2014. (I'm down to just over 4 - and I still work full time.) I share the spreadsheet with the one friend I managed to infect - thank goodness I have someone to call and squeal to when watching something special. (And there are SO MANY... ;-) )

Culturally I am not as shocked by male tears as I am by the nonchalant apparently acceptable bullying in all walks of life - BOF was electrifying with the student bullies but the bosses, colleagues, mothers and sisters in law - all the hierarchies that are abused in dramas. whew. I hope that is more entertainment fantasy than reality.

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Wow. There must be something seriously wrong with me. I always see people talking about becoming K drama addicts and listing how they're up to 30-40 dramas. This made me go count and my excel spreadsheet is up to 97 completed dramas. (I had to manually count in order to not include the movies on the list.) This is not counting the ones that I've completed in the last few months but, because I moved from one state to another, I haven't updated my list for the last 4 months. Now the embarassing part, I only discovered K-dramas in October 2014. And with all these dramas under my belt, I feel there are still so many more I need to catch up on!

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I was surfing Netflix for something to watch & got a "Recommended for You: Vampire Prosecutor, Season 2" message.

Well, vampire + district attorney? Hell to the yeah! So I watched it. And kept watching it. And then holy frijoles there was Kwon Hyun-Sang being SUPER menacing and I completely fell in lurve.

When it was over, I had to find Season 1 (which wasn't on Netflix.) Google led me to Dramafever, and suddenly I realized that there were YEARS worth of spooky TV shows that I had never even HEARD of, let alone watched!!!!!!

So I might have gone a little hog-wild-and-pig-crazy, as they say. I think I binged four shows in a month. (I'm less obsessed now, but still push K-dramas on everyone I know.)

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