[K-drama lessons] Learning to thrive

by Guest Beanie

By @ohsoenthusiastic

When I saw this month’s theme, I knew I wanted to write something. I’ve watched many dramas over the years and have been deeply moved by many of them. They’ve been a source of comfort in hard times, a place to find kindred spirits in their characters, full of plentiful opportunities for swooning and laughter, as well a chance to get away from the stress of real life. But most of the time, what I look for in a drama is something I can relate to, something that will speak to my own experience, not a story with something to learn. So despite my desire to write for this month’s theme, I was stuck on how to go about it.

Most of my favorite dramas involve female leads who are mousy, socially awkward, unpopular, the ugly duckling, put-upon and taken advantage of, struggling to fit in and find their place. Basically, women I find deeply relatable. Or they’re the kind of women I aspire to be, feisty and go-getter, the life of the party, free-spirited, fun, fun, fun, not afraid to face their fears or take on new challenges. And they’re always kind and sincere and often very, very earnest.

I watch these characters as they meet their lives head on, face their fears, and stand up for themselves without letting their circumstances turn them bitter or mean, and it gives me hope that I can do the same. That’s where it always stops though — at hope. But if the last few years have taught me anything, it’s to bring me to the realization that that is not enough. It’s not enough to watch others find and lead fulfilling lives of purpose. At some point, that hope has to turn into action.

When I finished Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-ju for the second time last year, I felt a push in my spirit, one I hadn’t felt during my first watch. It was one of many pushes I had felt throughout the year, one of many little moments that said, “Give yourself a chance. Use your gifts. Do the thing.” An Instagram post here, a YouTube video there, something I read in a book, a Bible verse reminding me of my gifts, a small whisper saying, “Do it! Do it! Do it!” But something about that push coming from a drama made it hit different.

Even though Kim Bok-ju’s final words in the finale are about the hope and promise of youth, and I am certainly no longer in my youth, they struck a deep cord, leaving me crying in front of my computer screen. They were confirmation of all the little pushes that had come before telling me, “This is your time. Step out in faith. Pursue your calling.”

Radiant Office is another drama I rewatched last year, and while it has its flaws, it’s a beautiful story about making the choice every day to really, truly live. With the belief that she is dying and has little time left, Ho-won chooses each day to be brave. She challenges the way things are, standing up for what’s right and taking the reins of her life even though she knows she’ll only hold them for a short while. And much like Weightlifting Fairy, Radiant Office’s story felt like a timely reminder. Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even your next moment, so you should use every moment you have well. You don’t have to wait to find out you’re dying to start living. You can start today. I can start today.

Dong-baek’s life in When the Camellia Blooms often teeters into bleak hopelessness. She’s overcome with feeling like things will never change, like she’ll forever be trapped in a cycle of hope and despair, wanting to keep trying and wishing she could give up. I know this feeling of hopelessness; I know this feeling of being trapped; I understand wanting to give up.

But When the Camellia Blooms is also a story of perseverance in the face of said hopelessness, a clinging to life and refusing to let go. Dong-baek tries, again and again, to choose not to be defined by her circumstances, no matter how much others might judge her for them or how much she might judge herself.

When I think about the kind of woman I want to be, how I want to navigate my life and the trials it brings, I often think on these dramas and these women (among many, many others). These women faced challenges and overcame them, fought to keep going, refused to give up, and came out the other side victorious. And I think that is the lesson I want to learn. To let their example spur me into action. Do. The. Damn. Thing. Because if they can thrive, I can too.

 
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