... here and here). But the narrator only expresses this within the frame of reference of that love eventually becoming hate.

The motto itself seems confused. In the example scenario given, it’s not even that these two are two different that is really the focus, but that being different will end in hate. Similarly, it’s not “love in spite of” that is the focus, but the “until” that given emphasis.

So, for this show to justify this being its opening line, it must now go out of its way to show that the differences between the leads are irreconcilable, and that it will also end in hate, whilst also trying to balance that with the idea of Love, even if it is temporary, being an ultimately good thing.

---

The reason I have always felt unsure of loving this show, always felt a lurking sense of foreboding, or some impending narrative direction that I knew I would hate, is because of this opening line and because I immediately felt it was confused and would be hard to deliver on well.

But more specifically, it is because after it announced this statement as its opening line, the show then spent the next 10 to 12 episodes doing a quite frankly better and sounder job of telling a story about Communication, about the different forms of communication, about wanting to overcome great obstacles and differences and fears, about the nuances of communication and language and form and semantics, with positivity and strength and hope, than it did telling a story of how we might reach this joint ending-opening point in any kind of satisfying way.

For every hint of dissonance, and temporality, for every line about transience and things being lost or passing, for every lurking shadow of doubt, that pointed back to the proposition, there was a direct thematic idea in contradiction to it, that spoke of overcoming this, of facing conflict and becoming stronger for it, becoming stronger together for it, of growing from scars and past hurt, and of pursuing things and choosing to love even when it is hard.

So the proposition and rejecting the proposition were in competition against each other, and the latter, was narratively stronger and more true than the former.

One can have deliberately conflicting thematic points, and this can be a good thing, for example: if one eventually wins out over the other, or if their juxtaposition serves to shed light onto something.

But, instead of spending time building towards any clear end goal - for the claim, or against it, or doing anything with this contradiction, by having the stronger one mean something, or balancing that tension, either between thematic ideas, or in the initial motto itself - this show spent more time building a kind of thematic ambiguity, so much so that it was entirely...

... possible for this show to swing either in direct opposition to its opening point, just as much as it was possible for it to swing back on it.

---

And then they break up, and the 8th last line of the show is its opening line, confirming my suspicions that to reject the proposition was never going to be its point, that it really meant to end up here all along.

But we have not got here in a way that this felt earnt, and justified. The show has not spent its whole being reaching this point, proving that this, this is how it was supposed to be, as it must, as it should’ve, if it was going to reveal its cards like that at the beginning. And it has not used its contrasting themes to help prove this point either.

And even in ending up here, it then actually ends, not WITH this, but AFTER this; instead of with the opening line as its ultimate final point, it concludes with two other moments that don’t feel wholly satisfying for either possible ending- either the hopeful, overcoming, or the bittersweet one.

Jinwoo introduces himself again, and Moeun smiles, and then we cut to credits.
And over the credits our leads walk hand in hand down their train track and at the end of the end, the end after the end, Jinwoo finally says in voiceover, in echo of the show’s title, “I love you, Moeun”; he finally confesses.

But this too feels like a false ending.

The show’s title is TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME, but its proposition is something entirely different. And Jinwoo never tells Moeun that he loves her to her person, but he says her name out loud, in the only spoken line he has in the entire show, to nobody, in heartbreak after their break up.

For a show about Communication, it feels cheap to have the leads break up due to a breakdown in communication, in the name of some Other Theme that was not shown to be any stronger than this.

But if they get back together without us seeing them overcoming this breakdown, this conflict, then you have not only denied them their bittersweet ending, that you initially chose for them, no matter how unjustified that has been, you have also denied them true development for a happy ending - for the ending that could’ve instead rejected the proposition on purpose.

There can be no whole or satisfying bittersweet ending, and there can be no whole or satisfying happy ending either.

You have only given your audience false propositions, and false promises, and false endings.

1. In being ambiguous in body, instead of picking an end goal and dedicating itself to reaching that goal, thus betraying its beginning.
2. In not balancing its contradicting themes to reach or support that end goal.
3. In its contrary themes becoming stronger and truer than any other intentional theme.
4. In the ending denying either the original claim, or the rejection of the original claim to be the true ending, satisfying the ambiguity, and nothing else.

And I do not know why. And I am left...

... disappointed, but somehow not surprised, and not as heartbroken either as I initially thought I would be, just let down.
I am left wondering if you really intended to end with or meant the opening point at all, such was the ambiguity, but to make ambiguity itself the point betrays too much else to be a rational conclusion, such was the rest of the show’s thematic core.

Because so much of you was Right and True and Beautiful.

But in the end, you have only proven yourself to be False.

.
.
.
 

OTHER

1. There was never any follow up from how her family reacted to her dating Jinwoo, except for her mother commenting about his mother. Her parents never met him again or go to know him again, and there was never a conversation between the siblings about Modam’s reaction, or any exploration of this. I felt this was a disservice to how the show had explored the nuances of how people react to Jinwoo and deaf people before, for this to remain undeveloped.

2. I felt also that Seo Kyung was used for too long as a device to fascilitate the leads’ breakdown in relationship, and not long enough was spent on how she actually overcame the issues between her and Jinwoo. I didn’t hate her, I longed for her to find the closure and forgiveness she was seeking, but it was disappointing that a show that do so many things against the grain had to rely on the stale Second Lead trope to get between the leads. This only contributed to the feeling that no matter how intentional, the show never truly justified this as a narrative direction.

3. Similarly, the show could’ve done with MORE Jiyu and Modam in the last quarter specifically (there was a week where he indeed had no screen time at all.)

4. I also felt that his murals deserved more attention in the thematic development of the last quarter, more than just showing the painting of Moeun from the back from when he first was captivated by her. I am not sure why, I just felt like those paintings held a lot of power and meaning and it was never capitalised on to their true potential. Much like a lot of the show.

THINGS I LOVED:

1. The acting overall was fantastic.

2. Kihyun for Best Friend Forever Award.

3. His students were a delight. Him WITH his students were a delight. The time jump was cruel in light of this. Spinoff about the students with less inconsistent writing when, please.

4. I loved the directing of this show, and all the artistic technical elements - cinematography, art direction, sound design, colour grading, music (it is no secret I still adore the OST) etc. – it was truly a beautiful show in that regard, and it was like a warm hug, and I think this was the reason it was my comfort watch so consistently till about episode 11.

5. One way in which it achieved this so well was the emphasis the show placed on natural greens; the leads were often wearing pale pastel or dark olive greens and the environments were often shot and...

... based around deep natural evergreens and browns and whatever plants or nature was in the frame, despite being predominantly set in the city. When a character needed to stand out or stand in conflict, they would be dressed in red or black. This made for very pleasing and comfortable viewing and contributed to both the themes of comfort, and the natural and soothing tone that the rest of the show sought after and delivered upon.

6. I especially liked the way that this show used and emphasised the different senses and forms of communication, with the above film techniques, to help tell its story about those specific things.
Increasing the volume of the foley and background noises and sounds – steps, cars, rain, wind, trees, etc. The decision and placement of voiceovers. Not translating the sign language at different points to immerse the audience in the difficulty of understanding and communicating. How you can listen without hearing. How you can hear without listening. How some non-deaf characters spoke when signing and some didn’t. Moeun being an actress and Jinwoo an artist, the (traditionally) spoken and visual arts. Johan being a music producer and song writer, vs Jinwoo’s ability to only understand not enjoy music. The way the OST itself emphasised these themes, and the way the show would often have no music at all, and no talking, to draw attention to sign language and the emotion on people’s faces. The way the different characters and actors bought their personality and acting to HOW they signed, in the same way one would when speaking a verbal language. Seo Kyung’s was neat and elegant and efficient, with clean lines and movements. Moeun’s softer. Jinwoo’s dynamic and emotive, and JWS would always lean into it and use his facial expressions a lot. Kihyun’s awkward still but somehow embodying his inherent kindness, his wife’s humorous and welcoming, the students with their slang and all their different vibrant personalities, (and casting Baek Sung Cheol as college Jinwoo, who in Inspector Koo played a mute character who never had any spoken lines.)

And, aND, AND-

I once read someone who described handwriting as the written version of your accent or personal voice. And I have always really liked that, that unless you are trying intentionally to be perfectly formal, your personality will come out in your writing. Like a fingerprint but for handwriting. The way you speak will be unique to you because of your vocal cords. The way you sign will be unique to you because of how you move and emote. And writing systems themselves are visual representations of languages, not languages themselves.
The way you write your ps, if you write them one or two or three ways, the way you flick your rs or giyeok, the way you link your letters, is like a part of your personal individual written voice, a representation of you. Obviously, there are formal ways of writing and styles that are popular, but your...

... personal fingerprint will be on how you write no matter what.

And in the same way that every person in this show signed in a different way, and naturally peaks in a different way, this show also used writing as another means of communication.
First, digitally.
But second, whenever someone would HANDWRITE what they wanted to say, the show would have their handwritten text appear on the screen, and it would change font, change handwriting, depending on who was writing.

The little boy next door hand his written word expressed in his child like hand. Jinwoo’s was his artist’s scrawl. Etc. Etc.

And it was THIS part of the show I LOVED and fell in love with it for! This attention to detail, this awareness of language and communication and writing and meaning and person, in making these character feel alive and real and individual and natural, in how they speak and how they react.

And that made the disappointment, although honestly, I am not as distraught as I thought I would be in an earlier recap, that much keener nonetheless, because it got all these details RIGHT and the potential was so rich and at times so clear.

In fact, it is because of this detail of the written word echoing personal voice, that as a writer, and an artist, and someone into calligraphy and handwriting and linguistics as well, I was saddened that the shows approach to written word as a powerful form of communication in its own right (stories!!!!!! writing systems!!!!!) did not take this itself a step farther, and rather seemed to neglect the written word and even somehow at times look down on it, as a means of clearing up miscommunication, for example, between two people who are struggling with more “vocal” forms (signing, lipreading and speaking), … or even just explore in more depth writing itself as a form of communication to add yet another layer to its tapestry of art, and acting, and stage, and sound, and music, and speaking and signing, and listening and hearing. Might as well go the whole way and delve farther into sight and word and touch and smell. Might as well have made the show TRULY and wholly about that… and not its ambiguity, false developments and false propositions…

*࿔࿐✩˚₊‧🍀‧₊˚✩࿐ ࿔*

total word count: 2925 

I have given much thought to your convincing analysis that the writer did not lay consistent groundwork to justify either their reuniting or staying apart. I finished the drama several days ago, but I'm not ready to leave it yet.

I feel that the writer returned to the opening gambit (Mo-eun's monologue from the play) to indicate that the couple remain apart. Who knows -- maybe “higher-ups” exerted pressure to reunite the lovers (Netflix, bless 'em, like to make us cry but want to leave us happy). Perhaps as a way of protest, the writer demoted the final walk on the tracks to play out under the credits, instead of as a stand-alone scene.

IMO if this under-credits scene is dropped, then ending with Jin-woo and Mo-eun starting over as just friends is earnt. Interwoven behaviors that sometimes pulled them together and other times pushed them apart establish they are emotionally fractured between wanting to be together yet unable to settle into it. Mo-eun in her case, because she resents that silence is sometimes frustrating (unlike wonderful Ki-hyun). And Ji-yoon because he knows this. A tragedy because dignified, sympathetic Jin-woo let himself love Mo-eun, who then could/would not follow through.

My feelings went back and forth as I read Beanies’ comments citing moments that foreshadow a reunion. But I think that those foreshadows were overshadowed when Jin-woo tells Mo-eun about losing all his work in the flood: He realized that he could not assume that what he loved was his to keep -- but he learned to emotionally withstand any loss. For me, the drama was about Jin-woo (and yes, communication). He has a sad strength about him. He is saved by being absorbed into his work, which was finally recognized (hurrah!).

But, I cannot deny that the final scene was their reunion along the track, so I too feel a bit let down. Still, this drama will forever remain special to me for all those things that were so exceptional.

I agree with your interpretation. They got back together. FWIW, that's the interpretation of the Korean media I've seen, so we aren't alone. (https://www.mk.co.kr/news/hot-issues/10922802) (https://www.joynews24.com/view/1677166)

I think Moeun's discomfort with their communication came from the insecurity she felt due to the intensity of Seo-gyeong's connection with Jin-wu. And she felt what she had with Jin-wu wasn't as significant. I think her insecurity manifested into her feeling burdened by the challenges of his hearing impairment.

I think Jin-wu was also insecure. Seo-gyeong's cruel words made him feel undeserving of love so he stayed alone for the next 30 years. When Moeun began to exhibit discomfort, he reverted to that thinking again and decided to break it off with her.

During their year apart, I think they both had opportunity to get closure about their personal issues with respect to other love interests and family, and took the time to evaluate what they mean to each other. I believe that they started over again. They may have obstacles, but so does everyone. No romantic relationship can be guaranteed to last forever. But they love each other now.

I agree that at the end the couple did get back on track. There could be some confusion since there were daydream situations where old memories provoked visions of the other. It was used to show that they still missed each other.

This was not a conventional romance. They did not go through the normal stages of infatuation, lust, passion and commitment. They went straight to companionship without any clear attachment style. They were drawn together by chance and different kinds of loneliness. ME is very insecure especially during her new career isolation. JW is a very sensitive introvert who fears rejection and abandonment. ME was drawn to him because he was nice to her (which is a common low bar for modern Korean women). ME was the pursuer perhaps out of sympathy. But JW had built up thick interpersonal barriers. ME did work hard to get to know JW, including learning a new language (which is difficult for any adult to do). But at a certain point, when one person is putting in the majority of effort and not getting an equal return, resentment can fester. ME got to the frustration point and that is why JW broke up with her (to be in control to lessen his pain of being rejected.) At the break up, I believe ME was in shock since she did not understand the reason why JW was breaking up with her. She never had a chance to talk it out so there was no closure.

The couple never reinforced their affection for each other. “Tell Me That You Love Me” was never strongly communicated to each other. They showed caring to each other but “I love you” was expressed mentally and not directly. In any relationship, that phrase is a risky, ticking time bomb - - - how would the other person react? Would it be too soon? Too fast? Does it push the relationship to an uncomfortable level of commitment? 50-50 chance that the receiver could walk away?

The show did compare and contrast various relationships with the main couple. JW could have been envious of Ki-Hyun’s marriage but he did see the extra effort KH had to put into it. Mo-Dam and Ji-Yu’s had a typical dating start but it was extremely slow (lovey-dovey couple rings at 400 days is 4 times longer than normal). JW and ME were just comfortable with each other. JW and ME never put aside time to discuss a future together because their careers took off at the same time. In this situation, it would be normal for a couple to begin to drift a part.

I do not have problem with ambiguous endings. When the couple gets back together, it is a second chance but in most cases it does not work out because the reason(s) for the break up are still present. As her mother told her, acceptance is the most important aspect of a long term relationship. They re-start with a better understanding of their issues, but realistically, there was never going to be a guarantee that they would accept them.

My view of the ending of the show is as same as yours. I believe it’s not an unfulfilled imagination but a real one that happens. They have grown, and they got their closures for whatever closers they needed. They meet again being the new version of themselves. They start dating again and this time, ME is going to go through it until they hate one another as the monologue goes. The last time she backed out because of her insecurities of the future and fears of the unknown. Now she knows better, and luckily the other person has now made peace with his past and is also willing to give the relationship a try again.

What is the original Japanese ending?

...out the same way.

And, big shoutout to Ki-hyun and So-hee. Mo-eun should have looked at this two each time her doubts were creeping in.

While watching this, I felt myself feeling My Liberation Notes, Call It Love?, and Reflection of You all over again. This is not a comparison of some sort. Joining this tier of dramas in my books is no easy feat. I might have found my best drama of the year this early in the year, two best OST of the year, and the benchmark for what I'll call A-dramas this year.

I have to salute Jung Woo-sung's acting here. This is my first drama watching him( Fly Dragon doesn't count). I've also seen him in Scarlet Innocence. He's good. Too good. And with the way he executed his character with much finesse and care, I can only imagine the thought he put into Cha Jin-woo. That he was booked for this project was what drew me in. And I could see why he took the offer as his return to dramaland. Even if he runs back to movieland, I'm okay with watching this over and over again.

Kim Ji-hyun? When you're SFL/SML, it is very easy to fall into unlikeable territory. But I think TMTYLM casted an appropriate actress in this role. She conveyed her role here excellently. She made sure her character was relatable. Song Seo-kyung is one of those characters who when played by a particular actress, you can hardly find actresses who'll replace them in these roles. And sincerely, I can only think of a few seasoned actresses who'll fit into Song Seo-kyung's shoes to the extent that Kim Ji-hyun did.

As my thoughts broaden I'll put them out in the comment section. But...one thing remains - this masterpiece really went the heartbreak way in a way that felt too personal. But... in retrospect, I'm okay! But I'm definitely not okay with it.

Yes, I too think that it is improbable that they would stay together. I replied to @sicarius that I thought the ending should have been the reintroduction scene (rebeginning as friends rather than lovers), not the under-credits reunion scene.

My issue with Mo-eum is her lack of self-awareness: understanding that she would/could not be like Jin-woo's wonderful best friend, whose life was so enriched by his silent wife and friend as to balance any consequent difficulties. I fault her for pursuing Jin-woo but then causing heartbreak for both by not following through after he let himself love her. What a gem she let slip away. I did like Shin Hyun-bin as Mo-eum though. She has a wonderful smile.

And yes -- wonderful OST.

I think Jin-woo always knew how he felt about Mo-eun. But then over time, I don't know what happened with Mo-eun. The final episodes sure left a salty taste. And a HEA as the closing credits clearly doesn't cut it for all the dejection with how Tell Me That You Love Me handled things.

Your 6th paragraph properly words one of the issues I had with Mo-eun. I was worried if I talked about it, I'd be unfeeling towards her plight thanks to how stunned I was by the whole thing.

@reply1988 This line: "It’s like people choosing to be with a person from another culture or with a disability and can’t deal with the fact being with those people means experiencing discrimination too because of the way the world treats them."
Yes, totally. For me this whole drama resonated with its portrayal of cultural differences. I think it did such an amazing job (whether I like it or not) of showing just exactly what you state: that the person in the majority culture gets to walk away and go back to where it's easy for them to live. The really painful part is that Jin-woo knew this from the beginning.

Yes, I too noticed that Jin-woo rarely smiled — so I’m even more amazed at actor Jung Woo-sung. We knew (through his eyes) when our typically-reserved Jin-woo was happy even without smiles. Recall when Mo-eun awkwardly explains to him that she had messed up by signing “confessed” though intending “converse” — and right afterwards friend Ji-yu remarks that she had never seen him smile so broadly. But neither we nor Mo-eum saw that smile. Such careful details in this drama I much loved.

Your “Cliffnotes” reference is spot on, but I lean towards “the effort of maintaining contact was the reason for breaking up when Jinwoo told her at the start it would be too hard ...”. That’s on her, and so I'm reluctant to sympathize with her when she let a gem of a man slip away.

Yes, a standout drama — one that I cannot forget.

I agree with almost everything you wrote. For me, this is an excellent show.

the actress who plays the FL still has something to learn. Don’t get me wrong, I love the actress in most of the scenes. This is especially true in the first 11 eps. Her acting is, to me, on par with the ML’s. However, when it comes to the part where many things happen, I see inconsistency in her character.

But somehow, I think my love for the show is too much for me to nitpick it. Of course, there are certain things that I think the show could have done without, but for me, it is like an exquisite art piece that I will be looking at it for a long time. There can be many interpretations when one looks at an art piece, and I think this show is just like that. For some, this might spell confusing, but for me, art is always confusing because it has no one correct way to interpret it. Maybe when one likes something so much, one is somewhat blinded. For a show that made me laugh out loud, cry by heart out, giggle like crazy, smirk numerous times, often within minutes after the other, I think the crew has done a brilliant job at crafting this art piece. It restores my love for Kdramas. I really can’t take my eyes off of it.

And I have a feeling that I’ll come to appreciate it even more in my next rewatch. It reminds me of Il Mare, When the Weather is Fine, and My Ajusshi (especially in those heavy episodes). One of, if not the best, Kdramas I’ve ever watched. It’s so beautiful in all aspects.

Part II – Overall feelings about the story
This show is exquisite in that it is so simple and honest in its story telling. It tells stories that we all can relate to because these are ordinary things that happen in our daily life. But the simplicity here, together with its exquisite directing, cinematography, art direction, music and costume departments and others, makes it a standout show for me.

I love that the story is about 2 people, as ordinary as any of us, who have gone through obstacles in their life. They have been hurt, and they are trying to heal. The show keeps highlighting the importance of honest communication, by constantly showing us that open, honest, and gentle communication, regardless of the form it takes, can overcome almost everything. The leads, as well as many side characters, are doing this over and over again throughout the whole show. These conversations can be direct or subtle, but with good intentions in the hearts of the speakers, understanding is bound to take place. On the other hand, when there is no communication, misunderstanding occurs which inevitably leads to hurt.

Another theme here that repeats again and again is love and acceptance. Though I do agree that too many things and complicated feelings happen in between eps 12-15, I still think that the writer did an exquisite job at being consistent throughout the show in showing us that love and acceptance go hand-in-hand. Without one of these, another cannot exist. And acceptance here means acceptance of the other person and acceptance of all of oneself. The clearest example here is how unconditionally accepting and loving Ki-hyun is towards the ML and his hearing-impaired wife (and his first child). We also see ME’s parents coming to terms with their daughter dating a hearing-impaired man because they don’t want their daughter to feel sad. We see Jo-han support the relationship regardless of his feelings (while trying to hide, and sometimes hints) his feelings for ME (lol). We see ME’s brother and friend support the relationship in their own way (i.e., the brother, though not agreeing with his sister’s choice, does not outright show his disapproval). Most importantly, we see this theme in the intertwined relationships between the ML, SK, and Do-hun. When SK faced the reality that she did the ML wrong, it is the first time she really accepted it. She extends this fact to the ML, allowing him to let go of the guilt that has been eating him and preventing him from loving himself. She also finally thanked Do-hun for saving her life, the fact that set him free of his resentment towards her and the ML (if he chooses to, ofc, lol). When the ML finally learns that he did not do anything wrong, when he can finally love himself again, he extends that love to Do-hun by apologizing for disappearing for many years, and let DH alone face the criticism he didn’t deserve. Though I don’t think the ML did him anything wrong, but by being kind he allows his friend to...

…I found the other side characters somewhat superfluous. Jo-Han was at least likeable enough that he didn’t get on my nerves. As a pleasantly plump ahjumma, I wanted to smack skeletal Ji-Yu upside the head every time she said she needed to lose weight. And don’t even get me started on her cringe-inducing romance with Mo-Dam…

Perhaps it’s wishful thinking, but I took the show’s ending to mean that the lead couple got back together. They had come full-circle, with Jin-Woo watching Mo-Eun perform again in the very same play—but this time with a KSL interpreter. The barrier of spoken language thus removed, Jin-Woo was able to enter a part of Mo-Eun’s world that had always been closed to him. It appeared to me that Mo-Eun was extending a hand to invite him into this world, signaling that she wanted to be with him regardless of the inevitable challenges ahead. This time, Jin-Woo didn’t need to read a script after the fact to understand what she was saying.

Footnote #1: While I was unable to confirm it, I suspect that So-Hee and at least some of the deaf students were played by hearing actors. If it turns out to be the case, I hope Korean actors with disabilities will be offered these kinds of roles in the future. I’m hesitant to find fault with the casting of hearing actor Jung Woo-Sung as the deaf protagonist, though, as I’d hate to be deprived of his exquisite performance. And having a marquee name in a leading role will undoubtedly attract a larger audience for this fabulous drama.

Footnote #2: I found this terrific video of a frank conversation between a deaf man and his hearing girlfriend on the challenges of their relationship. I wish Jin-Woo and Mo-Eun could have discussed the issue so directly!
https://youtu.be/CZJNpxC1fJI?si=YlCtqaFrPNv6Qnbj

Yes, his signing and her vocalizing to ensure she understood was so beautifully done. I really loved that too.