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This Week, My Wife Will Have an Affair: Episode 4

It’s an intense hour as Hyun-woo uncovers the truth about his wife’s affair — but rather than helping to clarify things, his newfound knowledge leaves him with even more questions and an ever more uncertain future. He can’t help but continue seeking advice from his community of supporters as he figures out what to do next, and though he may not always like what folks have to say, a well-worded piece of advice may be just what he needs to get out there and take some action.

 

 
EPISODE 4 RECAP

At the hotel, Hyun-woo slips into the same elevator as Soo-yeon and her male companion, coming face to face with his wife. Soo-yeon’s eyes widen in shock when she recognizes her husband, but she tries to recover, lamely asking Hyun-woo what he’s doing at the hotel. Hyun-woo says he’s here for work, his eyes murderous as they flit from Soo-yeon back to the man she’s with.

The other man, glancing at Soo-yeon, hits the “L” button on the elevator, claiming that he and Soo-yeon were headed to the lounge. (Smooth, buddy.) Hyun-woo’s not fooled, and calls out the room key in the man’s hand. Knowing their cover’s blown, the man introduces himself as JI SUN-WOO (Lee Suk-joon), a work colleague of Soo-yeon’s. Hyun-woo quietly suggests to Sun-woo that they continue the conversation in their room.

As they head towards the room, Hyun-woo recalls Yoon-ki’s advice to gather evidence of the affair. So he decides to take a photo of Sun-woo and Soo-yeon just in front of the room door — complete with a loud “Smile!” alert from his phone. Awkward.

Inside the room, Hyun-woo admits that he’d seen the texts from Sun-woo, and says that though he’d tried to talk to Soo-yeon before this day came, he missed his chance. Sun-woo apologizes and says, “It’s all our fault.” Hyun-woo bristles at the word “our,” then asks if Sun-woo is married, and he admits he is. Hyun-woo asks how serious the two of them were about this affair — were they just having fun?

Hyun-woo looks at Soo-yeon, seeing her hands folded together in her lap. He’s startled to see that she’s not wearing her wedding ring and starts to ask about it, but instead asks whether or not Soo-yeon’s feelings for Sun-woo are real.

She doesn’t answer, so Sun-woo jumps in and says that they didn’t start meeting with the intention of ruining their families. But he then adds that he loves Soo-yeon, though he feels sorry to Hyun-woo and both their families.

Hyun-woo then directs his attention to Soo-yeon, wanting to hear directly from her. All she can say is that she’s sorry, and that she blames herself. This isn’t what Hyun-woo wants to hear since he expected her to beg for forgiveness, and he finally loses his temper. “Why are you so calm? You’ve been caught having an affair!” he shouts.

When Soo-yeon and Sun-woo remain silent, Hyun-woo tells Soo-yeon that they should get divorced, and that she shouldn’t even think about coming home. He heads to the door, pausing for one last look at Soo-yeon. Sadly, she doesn’t look back at him, and Hyun-woo punches the door in anger before walking out.

Bo-young’s been detained at the police station for attacking the cheating wife during filming. Joon-young finds the whole situation hilarious, even going so far as to snap selfies with Bo-young behind bars. Thankfully for Bo-young, Yoon-ki calls with the news that she will be released as soon as her guardian arrives. Yoon-ki adds that he’s on his way to Hyun-woo, and Joon-young says he’ll be right behind him.

Joon-young offers to act as Bo-young’s guardian despite her protests. When she’s released, Joon-young meets her outside the station with a block of tofu (traditional post-prison food), which he shoves in her face before running away. LOL.

Yoon-ki and Joon-young intercept Hyun-woo just as he’s about to leave the hotel. With a dazed look in his eyes, Hyun-woo provides a brief update: He told Soo-yeon he wanted a divorce and walked out of the room, and she didn’t follow him. With that, Hyun-woo pushes past his friends to leave the hotel, and they follow.

The three end up at a restaurant, where Hyun-woo tries to wrap his head around what just happened. Hyun-woo shows Yoon-ki and Joon-young the photo he snapped as proof of the affair, but Yoon-ki says he’ll need more information — like how long the two have been meeting and how often — if he wants to get anything from Soo-yeon in court.

Hyun-woo explains that he’d gone to the hotel with a plan, but now, he has no idea what to do. Yoon-ki says Hyun-woo should just end his marriage and live happily. Joon-young, however, says he shouldn’t get divorced — he can’t be the one left miserable while she’s happy. While Yoon-ki and Joon-young argue, Hyun-woo drinks.

That night, Hyun-woo returns to his empty home and writes a new post online, telling the world that everything is now finished. He explains that his wife didn’t beg for forgiveness, and instead calmly told him it was all her fault. “Divorce is the only solution now, right?” he writes.

Hyun-woo jumps when he hears someone entering the apartment, but it’s just his mom looking to stay at his place for a few days. She asks after Soo-yeon, then Joon-soo. At the mention of his son’s name, Hyun-woo panics, then grabs his jacket and heads straight to Joon-soo’s school.

When he gets there, he’s shocked to learn that Joon-soo’s already been picked up by Soo-yeon. Worried that Soo-yeon might have taken Joon-soo to stay with her, he calls her, but there’s no answer. Just a few moments later, though, Soo-yeon calls back. Hyun-woo answers the phone angrily, but to his surprise, the voice that responds is his mother’s — Soo-yeon and Joon-soo are at home.

A subdued Soo-yeon greets Hyun-woo when he returns home. The two look at each other for a tense moment before Hyun-woo tells her that they need to talk. As they disappear into their room, Hyun-woo’s mother looks after them in concern.

Inside, Hyun-woo demands to know why Soo-yeon came home. She says she thought they needed to talk, then apologizes, since she didn’t know his mother would be visiting. He tells her that he’ll take care of his mother, and that she should leave as soon as his mother does.

His mother, meanwhile, has prepared dinner and orders the two to join her and Joon-soo. As they eat, she peppers Soo-yeon with questions, but can’t stop looking concerned at the obviously strained air between her son and his wife.

Later, Mom joins Hyun-woo in the living room, where he asks her to go back home. She doesn’t answer, and instead asks Hyun-woo point-blank if there’s been cheating. Shocked, Hyun-woo tries to deny it, but then gets smacked — oh, she thinks Hyun-woo cheated. She’s particularly angry and disappointed that he’d do such a thing, after watching his father do the same to her.

She asks if Hyun-woo doesn’t feel sorry for his wife, who’s busy with work, Joon-soo, and taking care of their household. Though Hyun-woo keeps insisting that his mother’s got it all wrong, she won’t have it. If he keeps this up, she says, he’ll end up alone.

At the office, Bo-young scares herself silly by watching a horror film with all the lights turned off. She’s too scared to finish the movie, so she closes her laptop… only to see a lone hand just in front of her. She screams and screams before getting a hold of herself. Looking closer, she realizes the hand belongs to Joon-young, who’s passed out drunk on the floor.

She kicks him awake, and he makes his way onto the couch. Barely conscious, he asks Bo-young what it’s like to get divorced, then passes out again. Bo-young looks concerned for a moment, but then her expression brightens. Ha, now she’s able to finish her movie, though she spares Joon-young’s sleeping form a glance every now and then.

Soo-yeon enters Joon-soo’s room as Hyun-woo tucks their sleeping son into bed. She tells Hyun-woo that for now, she’s decided to stop seeing Sun-woo. Hyun-woo jumps all over her for saying she won’t see him “for now,” and tells her he doesn’t want to hear any of it — he wants her to leave the house and leave Joon-soo with him. Hyun-woo climbs into Joon-soo’s bed, effectively ending their conversation.

The next morning, Joon-soo informs Hyun-woo of the family’s plans to head to an amusement park. Hyun-woo’s mom encourages Hyun-woo to get ready and join them, adding that it’s an opportunity for him to earn points with Soo-yeon. Frustrations mounting, Hyun-woo tells his mom that he doesn’t have time for this. Soo-yeon speaks up too, telling her mother-in-law that Hyun-woo has to go to work, but that only makes Hyun-woo angrier.

We check in with our other dysfunctional couple, Yoon-ki and Ara, as they visit an art gallery. While Ara examines some paintings, Yoon-ki sits down at a bench next to a young woman, then causally remarks that the paintings are boring. The woman turns out to be none other than Yoon-ki’s saleswoman girlfriend, who says the “paintings” are also thrilling. Yoon-ki suggests they up the thrill level, then slides his hand over hers.

Yoon-ki and Ara’s next stop is lunch at a fancy restaurant, where they toast with glasses of wine. As Ara takes a sip, Yoon-ki turns his attention to a nearby table, where his girlfriend is enjoying her own lunch. The two raise their glasses to one another and smile. Wow.

At work, Hyun-woo reads through more responses to his last posting, many of them from his “regular” commenters. As usual, the words from one particular commenter, username TUNAMAYO, stick with Hyun-woo.

But this time, TUNAMAYO’s words bother Hyun-woo instead of providing comfort. The commenter asks if Hyun-woo really wants to end things without hearing his wife’s side of the story. She writes, “Why did your wife want to have an affair? Do you think you have no fault in this situation?”

Hyun-woo joins his team in a meeting to review the footage they captured of their unfaithful couple. Bo-young apologizes for messing up their shoot, and says she’s also sorry for not allowing their client to finish his conversation with his wife. She posits that there were probably lots of things he wanted to know — like why she’d have an affair, and if he was to blame for any of it.

As Bo-young talks, Hyun-woo realizes her words echo TUNAMAYO’s latest thoughts. He eyes Bo-young suspiciously.

Meanwhile, Yoon-ki and Ara discuss Yoon-ki’s weekend filming schedule at a flower shop. To Yoon-ki’s dismay, Ara shares that she’s signed up for weekend flower arrangement classes near his office building so they can carpool and check in on each other. On their way out, Yoon-ki notices an attractive young woman handing out flyers for a gym, and he suggests to Ara that he needs to start working out.

Back at the office, Bo-young joins Hyun-woo in the break room and hands him tuna mayo triangle kimbap. Hyun-woo pauses at the mention of tuna mayo; Bo-young says she likes that kind of kimbap the best.

At that, Hyun-woo asks if she invests in stocks. Bo-young says she hasn’t invested since years ago, when Hyun-woo had convinced their team to buy stocks based on a dream he had (and all of them lost a ton of money, ha). She mentions that she does sometimes visit the stocks forum, but before Hyun-woo can ask a follow-up question, she gets a phone call and leaves the room.

The CEO calls Hyun-woo into his office, where he’s got the stock forum pulled up on his browser — aha, that’s where Hyun-woo’s been posting his story, and why he asked Bo-young about stocks. The CEO wants to know if Hyun-woo’s heard anything about Bo-young, as there are rumors flying around that she’s being scouted by a PD named Oh Ki-han. Hyun-woo says Bo-young wouldn’t leave them, but a look of concern flickers across his face.

Cut to Joon-young freaking out at the news, getting so worked up that he’s unable to breathe. Once he calms down, he reports back to Hyun-woo that Oh PD has indeed been looking for a writer, and Bo-young is a candidate. Joon-young mentions that he thinks Bo-young could be meeting with the PD tonight, prompting Hyun-woo to recall the phone call Bo-young received earlier in the break room.

Yoon-ki’s already at the gym, having signed up for personal training sessions with the attractive young woman who he’d seen on the street earlier. He can’t contain his excitement when she demonstrates the squat for him before guiding him through the same exercise. But she turns out to be pretty intense, making him do rep after rep without breaks. It’s not long before he’s unable to keep up. Hah.

Bo-young packs up and says goodbye to her male colleagues (who give her the stink-eye, as they’ve obviously been let in on the rumors about her), then heads outside to say goodbye to Hyun-woo. As Hyun-woo watches Bo-young leave, he thinks back to some of the things she’s said about love and marriage. He then reads the latest post from TUNAMAYO, who urges him to let his guard down first and listen to his wife’s story. TUNAMAYO’s words seem to trigger something in Hyun-woo, and he rushes out of the office.

He calls Bo-young and says he needs to see her, offering to meet her wherever she is. Bo-young looks to be all dressed up, waiting for someone at a restaurant. She hesitates at Hyun-woo’s request, but he pushes, saying that they need to talk in person.

Hyun-woo gets Joon-young to drive him to the restaurant, and the two pause outside of Bo-young’s private dining room. Taking a deep breath, Hyun-woo enters and starts pleading with Bo-young, saying he should have treated her better before something like this happened. He promises he’ll change, and that he’ll treat her well from now on.

Bo-young glances apologetically at the man in front of her, then gives Hyun-woo a strained smile, pointing at her companion. Hyun-woo takes a break from his rambling to greet the man, only to realize that he is not, in fact, Oh PD. That’s when Hyun-woo starts finally connecting the dots, noticing Bo-young’s make-up and clothes, and the fact she’s at dinner with a random man.

He figures out that she’s on a blind date, and, completely mortified, he apologizes profusely before leaving the room. But when Joon-young hears that Bo-young’s on a date, he insists on barging in their room to make a big fuss over Bo-young’s fancy appearance. Hyun-woo has to drag him away, and Bo-young sits there with a slight smirk on her face.

Back at the gym, Yoon-ki’s training session is finally over, but his legs seem to be out of commission — so much so that he can’t even leave the building. Serves him right.

Bo-young sees Hyun-woo outside the restaurant, and he apologizes again, explaining that he thought she was jumping ship to another program. She doesn’t seem that bothered, and tells Hyun-woo that he actually made her feel important.

Hyun-woo asks Bo-young if she’s familiar with the postings by TOYCRANE, and asks what she thinks of him. She bluntly says that TOYCRANE is pathetic, but she’s actually rooting for him, since she identifies with his story. She wants him to not make the same mistakes she did in her marriage.

Joon-young pulls up in his car and offers Bo-young a ride home. When she gets in, she tells Joon-young she’ll kill him if he tells anyone about her blind date.

Hyun-woo watches his hoobaes leave with a smile, then thanks TUNAMAYO (aka Bo-young, in his mind) out loud. He heads back to the office, where he writes to TUNAMAYO that he’s planning to talk to his wife and listen to her story, as he doesn’t want to get divorced. He looks at Bo-young’s desk and smiles to himself.

Once again, Hyun-woo comes home to a dark and empty apartment. His mother texts him to say that Soo-yeon and Joon-soo are spending the night at her place. Determined to talk to Soo-yeon, he calls his mom and asks her to watch Joon-soo for the night, and to tell Soo-yeon to come home.

Bo-young’s back at the office for the night, happy to be back to her makeup-free, casual self. She finds two triangle kimbaps on her desk along with a note from Hyun-woo telling her not to skip meals, and happily digs in.

Soo-yeon arrives home, and she and Hyun-woo sit awkwardly in the living room. Soo-yeon goes first and apologizes, saying that she didn’t do this because she wanted a divorce. Hyun-woo asks how long the affair has been going on. Soo-yeon doesn’t give a direct answer, but tells him that she didn’t intend to deceive him.

This raises Hyun-woo’s ire and he goes on the attack, telling her she should be on her knees and begging for his forgiveness by this point. Soo-yeon pauses, then takes a breath before asking Hyun-woo what he wants to do. He spits out that if this is the way she’s going to be, he wants a divorce. At that, Soo-yeon shuts down; she tells him she’s heading back to his mother’s and that they should talk again when he’s calmer.

Hyun-woo grabs her before she can leave, demanding to know how long she’s been having an affair. She shrugs him off aggressively, then tells him it started six months ago.

Stunned, Hyun-woo immediately asks if she slept with Sun-woo. He grabs her arm and repeats his question over and over again, raising his voice with each word. With fire in her eyes, Soo-yeon finally confirms that yes, she slept with him. Not only that, she missed him so much that she’s the one who asked him to meet with her first. Soo-yeon turns and rushes out of the apartment, and this time, Hyun-woo doesn’t stop her.

Soon after, Hyun-woo writes to TUNAMAYO that his attempt at a conversation with his wife failed. When he doesn’t get a response right away, he heads into the office.

Bo-young’s there, of course, and Hyun-woo plops down next to her as he launches into the events of the evening. Seeing the blank look on Bo-young’s face, Hyun-woo backtracks and starts to confirm that he’s TOYCRANE. Before finishing his sentence, though, he glances at Bo-young’s screen… to see that her username isn’t TUNAMAYO, but PUDDING. Whoops.

Hyun-woo quickly dials it back and says that he’s just here to have a drink with Bo-young since his wife’s not home. But Bo-young’s on deadline, so Hyun-woo returns home and drinks alone.

The next morning, Hyun-woo wakes up on the couch. He then goes through the motions of a normal day as he cleans up and heads off to work. He keeps thinking of Soo-yeon though, and just before he walks into his building, he stops, then turns right back around.

In the office, Bo-young’s colleagues greet her with snickers and take turns teasing her about her blind date. Bo-young immediately asks for Joon-young’s whereabouts, and once she finds out he’s in the conference room, she heads straight there and proceeds to kick his butt.

Hyun-woo posts another update online, and everyone devours the latest in his sad saga. Hyun-woo confirms in his post that his wife cheated, but says he didn’t get a reasonable answer from her as to why. “So,” he writes, “I have no choice but to hear it from him. I can’t forgive my wife, or him.”

It’s not entirely clear, but it looks like Soo-yeon might have been reading Hyun-woo’s post too. In any case, she looks mighty uncomfortable as she resumes her work, which includes a business call from Sun-woo.

Hyun-woo arrives in front of a big office building, which happens to be where Sun-woo works. He looks like a man on a mission, and as he walks in, we hear the last line of his post, which reads: “This week, I’m going to fight the guy who took the most precious thing away from me.”

 
COMMENTS

So, there it is. I thought there was a good chance that Soo-yeon wasn’t really having an affair, but not only did we find out that she most definitely is, we also found out that this affair’s been going on for some time now. I also wasn’t expecting to find out the truth this early on, but I’m not complaining — the early reveal makes room for exploring the aftermath of it all, including the reasons why Soo-yeon actively pursued this other man in the first place.

I’m sure it was devastating for Hyun-woo to actually see his wife with Sun-woo, then to hear directly from her that she’s sleeping with him. But man, Hyun-woo is not doing himself any favors with his behavior, especially in the way he’s dealing with Soo-yeon. He claims that he wants to fight for his marriage, and that he’s open to hearing Soo-yeon’s side of the story. In reality, though, he doesn’t even give Soo-yeon a chance to talk, and twists her words to underscore his own insecurities as he escalates their conversations into one-sided shouting matches. And now, he’s going to fight Sun-woo? What does he hope to accomplish with that move?

What I find interesting is how Hyun-woo seems to have this narrative in his head of what Soo-yeon should have said, and how she should have reacted to being discovered. He can’t even entertain the thought that Soo-yeon may not respond exactly in the way he imagined, immediately thinking that any other sort of response means that she’s ready to destroy their marriage. He seems kind of obsessive all around, unable to let go of something once he’s fixated on it.

So it makes sense to me that Soo-yeon’s response to Hyun-woo’s tirades is to shut down completely — I’ll bet she developed that tactic as a coping mechanism over the years. How often has Hyun-woo steamrolled her in the past, not waiting to hear her words? How many times has he pushed his “ideals” onto her, not being able to see or accept when Soo-yeon’s desires clash with his own? Hyun-woo’s faults don’t serve as an excuse for Soo-yeon’s infidelity of course, but it certainly tarnishes the rosy picture of marriage that Hyun-woo’s painted in his mind. It also makes him less sympathetic as a whole, since he’s not just a victim in this situation.

While we did get to confirm Soo-yeon’s affair pretty quickly, I have to say that the show could use a little bit of tightening up over all. I mean, did we really have to see so many scenes of Yoon-ki struggling through his gym routine, or exchanging expressions of love with his girlfriend while he’s out with Ara? My reaction may be driven by the fact that I’m seriously getting grossed out by Yoon-ki and how blatant he’s being with his cheating. I know a lot of Yoon-ki’s scenes are being played for comic relief, but I’m just over it. I want Ara to run as far away from him as possible, and to take her (dad’s) money with her.

It makes me nervous that so far, Joon-young’s the only main character who hasn’t cheated or been cheated on (that we know of). I’m praying to the drama gods to keep it this way — sure, the dynamic between him and Bo-young is super cute, but I’m not ready to see another marriage go down in flames because of infidelity. Besides, Joon-young’s way too goofy to cheat on his wife (assuming that she really exists), and Bo-young’s been burned once already, so there’s no way she’ll become the “other woman,” right? Right?

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Why do I still think that SY said all that in anger and is unable to understand why her husband is reacting that way. I still think she isn't cheating, but HW didn't even give her any space to talk and that can be all anger lashed out at him.

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I concur. It felt almost spiteful in reaction to his questioning - she knows she 's in the wrong but she also knows her feelings are valid. In his eyes, she's already the villain, so what does it even matter what she says?

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I'll reserve my judgement for later coz I think I should just wait and see what really happened here. I'm still reeling from hearing that it's been going on for six months so...
and what really irked me so much this ep was that Atty. Cheater coz whoa, right then and there at the museum with your wife just a few feet away maybe. That must be so thrilling for the both of them cheaters. THAt female doesn't have any shame whatsoever, damn! They presented it like a comedy but hey, that was just so ,..argh! he's lucky enough to get a wife when he is so ugly, and she's even rich and a good wife to him so what the hell..?! I want him to suffer in the end, his thing cut off or something, be a pariah and be a sewer rat for his next life. And maybe his wife should also have an affair of her own with a really handsome guy, see how that feels.
So is this just gonna be about women cheating on their husbands?

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And about husbands that cheat on their wives (the lawyer and the PD that wants to cheat with BY). But the title says it all, really. This is about cheating partners.

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I agree.. At this point, it feels like he wants her to have cheated just so he could have a sense of victory that he was right in his judgement about her.. He is totally not willing to listen to her side of the story, and although I admit that he feels too hurt to listen to any excuses, but his behaviour right now contradicts his intentions of talking to her properly and winning her back because God knows she won't come back to him if he keeps acting this way..

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I agree. He seems too hurt and is just reverting to his old shtick of throwing accusations and jumping to conclusions. Didn't that issue with Bo-young just prove that? He's too imaginative for his own good. LOL He should've learned to calm down and listen to the other side first by now.

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Hi Mary! Are you finally caught up on the episodes?

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only read the review but the whole thing feels off, it is not helping we still know really nothing about the wife. But it certainly gives the feeling she just saying what he wants to hear rather than try and defend herself, when he only interested in hearing her confirm it all..After all it could not be his fault so it must be all hers. There always two side to everything and maybe now we have the cards on the table, they start to show more of the wife's background to events and just why it all came about.

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Even just reading it, I 'oofed' when she said she's slept and purseued the guy.

And then cringed at the aftermath. Yikes, Hyun-woo, just get a punching bag already! That aggression needs to go somewhere.

And can he STOP FORGETTING ABOUT HIS CHILD ALREADY? LOL, it's like the saddest trope ever!

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The way he keeps forgetting about his son makes me wonder if he's like that as a husband, too. He gets so caught up in his own personal whatever that he forgets about his son, and then at the last minute is rushing to take him to school or pick him up. As a husband, maybe he's the same: always doing his own thing, distracted with work and his own stuff and so he neglects his wife, who maybe felt lonely and needed to feel like someone cared for her. Then, Hyun-woo's sudden interest in his wife's affair is like that moment where he remembers he has a son and is supposed to be responsible for him, idk. If that's the case, I don't think it excuses her cheating, because I don't think anything ever makes cheating on a partner okay, but I could at least understand where she's coming from...

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I agree that the way Hyun-Woo is dealing with Soo-Yeon is really self centred. It makes me a bit uncomfortable. But at the same time I can kind of see that anyone would blow their top if the other person isn't reacting. She doesn't seem sorry at all. Or maybe it's just that he's not giving her the chance to be sorry?

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She doesn’t seem sorry at all. Or maybe it’s just that he’s not giving her the chance to be sorry?

I wonder about that. Once I watched a tv show (or a movie idk) where a girl brought her boyfriend to meet her parents, and the mom seemed like she was being polite to the boyfriend, but the girl was freaking out about how her mom was being so judgmental and making veiled barbs against him.. to the boyfriend (and to the audience) the girl seemed kind of insane, like she was making a big deal about everything. But after she mentioned this stuff to her boyfriend (about how the mom was subtly looking down on him) he picked up on it, and it was more obvious to the audience, too, how snooty the woman was being. She was using the same words, but they seemed sharper.

So I wonder.. Is she really not sorry at all? Or does it only seem that way because we see everything from Hyun-woo's perspective, and he thinks she's not sorry so that's how the situation is presented to us, too...? I feel like there must be a reason that she'd start cheating in the first place, but again, since we see everything from Hyun-woo's perspective, if he has any faults we're as oblivious to them as he is. I wonder, if/when he acknowledges his own role in their marital problems, will we see her silence less as a lack of remorse and more as a lack of opportunity to express remorse?

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GirlFriday, JavaBeans and entire DramaBeans staff. Please forgive me for hijacking this space to got off-topic but all of you MUST watch Romantic Doctor Kim - a crazy stupid title for an astonishingly dark, romantic and intense drama. I am stunned! This is an AMAZING drama! The first episode was startling and sudden and utterly surprising and the twists didn't just happen in the middle of the episode. The second episode took even more twists and I feel like I'm watching a well crafted Stephen King novel a la K-drama style. Best of all? Han Suk-Kyu as the Master teacher. The moment I realized he had played the king in Tree with Deep Roots, I burst into tears. This is an A=class drama, people. And we owe it to ourselves to pay close attention. Brilliance ahead. No doubt about it.

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^I'm DYING for this show to be recapped. I only watched the first episode last night, but I AM HOOKED! I loved Han Suk Kyu in TWDR and he was part of the reason I wanted to watch this drama.

I'll talk about it more later in the recap thread (hopefully)... And I can't wait to watch the 2nd ep tonight, lol.

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Anyways, back to This Week, My Wife... The fallout from the affair was just brutal to watch. The scene where Soo Yeon confirmed that she slept with Sun Woo was heartbreaking. Hyun Woo is going about it all wrong, but I'm still sympathetic to him. He's freaking out. Both HW and SY really need to be able to communicate more and be able to share both sides of their story. But SY should not have cheated period. I feel like they will not be able to recover their marriage by the end of this show.... 'Cause HW had said that he could not trust his wife anymore.

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I second the call for Dramabeans to recap Doctor Romantic, Teacher Kim! I've always appreciated your recaps in helping me understand the shows better. I personally did not like the premiere very much, but the second episode showed a lot of promise. I agree with lunatic4kd and cocoboo that Han Suk-Kyu plays Doctor Kim extremely well and he's the main reason why I am going to continue watching the show.

If anyone's keen to read, have shared my thoughts on the premiere here:
http://wp.me/p7U37n-eB

And on the second episode here:
http://wp.me/p7U37n-fY

Hoping dramabeans will pick up this series!

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I hereby crown joon young the king of over reaction....lols

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The actor playing Joon Young was so buttoned up in "Signal" and here everything is so big and over the top.

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Thanks chocolatte for your recap. I, for one, thought it was a foregone conclusion from ep 3 onwards that Soo Yeon was involved in an affair, if not all that set up would have been for nothing. The show did do a good job of showing the ramifications of Hyun woo finding out what happened. I like what you highlighted about how Hyun woo's reaction reveals that their marriage than rosy because the way he talks to her shows a lack of respect.

While I do agree that the episode could be tightened, I did like the way the show alternated between the different relationships and I also found myself gleeful that Joon kI had some comeuppance. I do agree that at some point Ara should find out so that we can then move beyond the current status which is getting quite uncomfortable to watch.

As for Joon Young and Bo Young, I sense the show is heading towards them having affection towards each other. However, whether or not they actually have an affair is something that's uncertain and the show may use this to complicate Bo Young's handling of her emotions post-divorce.

I personally enjoyed this episode very much and felt it was much better than episode 3. Have shared more of my thoughts here:
http://wp.me/p7U37n-cL

Thanks chocolatte once again for your insights!

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While I agree with you that Hyun Woo is not giving his wife the space to explain herself, I just love how realistic that confrontation scene is. He has resolved to calmly talk to her about the affair, but I guess seeing her face to face, asking her questions he's been burning to ask to only have her evade and be vague, that is enough to set him off again. His wound is simply too raw, too fresh for him to have a cool-headed conversation. And when she admits to everything, a big giant OUCH!!

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@Maplesilver Yes, I completely agree with you on how realistic it was. When he is on his own or posting on the forums, he's calm and rational, formulating all these plans of how he will respond to her answers. Yet in front of her, he loses it completely. It's very real for married couples when it comes to conflict resolution in general.

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Yep, totally agree with you. His world's been shattered.

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Is it possible that Tunamayo is actually Song Ji Hyo?

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Or Ara?

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Oh, I thought it was the old lady!

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Cannot be, she's still learning how to type.

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I think it's his wife too

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I thought that his reactions were understandable--no excusable, but understandable.

I'm hoping that what this show will begin working towards is having this couple acknowledge the huge issues in their marriage and work towards a better future. I'm not sure I could handle it if it just portrays the collapse of their relationship. It would just be too depressing.

Interesting that it appears Soo-yeon is reading the thread. I hadn't noticed that while watching it. I agree with aubrey lim, I'm starting to suspect that she may be TUNAMAYO.

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Why would she put her husband through that instead of telling him the truth? She can't be Tunamayo unless there is some big twist ahead making him a jerk for her.

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I agree that this is unlikely and non-sensical. Maybe possible if this is a makjang drama, but this drama certainly isn't.

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Hi Thanks the recap!

I super love Boa's character (Soo yeon). <3

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Yeah the main couple seriously lacks communication. Even within the first episode it was made fairly obvious that they hardly ever even see each other. They are always busy with work and one or the other is almost always sleeping with the son rather than in their bed together and the son definitely doesn't seem like the type that's actively asking for one of them to sleep with him.

I was initially disappointed with her not saying anything when they were caught but as the episode progressed it was almost as if she knew if she did say anything he would be even more angry.

At her core she isn't a bad person as made apparent by the mom's stressing of how well the house is taken care of and how much she cares about her son.

Having an affair might have been a poor choice but at least she makes good ones for her son.

While on the other hand the husband has made bad choices regarding the son, forgetting about him several times, contemplating asking him who he would rather live with, asking him which parent he likes better. Those aren't things you should ask little kids. Not to mention he jumped at the idea that she would steal his son from him when he can't even remember to pick him up from daycare.

Surely he has to realize by now with how many people assumed he was the one having an affair that he is obviously behaving in a way people find suspicious.

I have to wonder if his wife thought he was having an affair too with his never being home, coming home late regularly with little to no notice, and their lack of intimacy.

Not that her deciding to have an affair is the right reaction to that but I have to wonder if while it is clear there is an emotional attachment between her and her lover if the sexual relationship really did happen or did she just in a fit of anger say she had because that is what he wanted to hear and wouldn't believe her otherwise.

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An affair is poor choice but forgetting the child is terrible? Having an affair even for mere emotional affairs is just terrible but having sex when you are married cant be forgiven. They may lack in communication skills etc etc but to resort to affair cant be excused.

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This Is My Take On Hyun Woo's Reaction: Obsessive; Yes Thats What His Love Turned Into When He Felt Extremly Betrayed,dont Forget His A Man Who Belives In Not Giving Up On His Goal And Stickin It Out Till The End But When His Goal (to Prove his Wifes Innocense And The Whole Situation A Misunderstanding) Is Completly Shatterd He Defintely Has The Right To Be Brocken As Well, After All Its His Driving Force.I Dont Think Anything Can Explain Sy Cheating And I Dont Think Any Spouse Will Listen To His/her Patner Tell You That They Initiated Such An Affair With Another MARRIED!!!!!(thats Even The Worst Part) And Not BLOW YOUR FUSE!!!! I Mean This Isnt A One Night Stand Its A 6 MONTHS AFFAIRand You Have A Child For Sake. So I Support HWs Reaction,NOT THE BEST But What To Aspect From A Betrayed Heartbrocken Man. No One could Ever Be Calm Listening To Another Married Man Tell You He Had An Affair Becos "he Loves Her" REALLY!!!!! Thats Going To Keep On A Replay In His Mind

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Lack of communication may be reason for counseling or eventually divorce, but no excuse for adultery. This isn't boyfriend/girlfriend...this is a family; married parents with a child. She deceived her family for six months! Cold.

This episode brought back so many memories of ppl in my family who committed adultery (let's call it what it is). And no one was ever genuinely remorseful..always some lame excuse. Always so many hearts broken and casualties. I hope the rest of the series is a bit more upbeat.

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I agree not to mention she pursued ANOTHER married guy so she's destroyed two families

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I think Yoon-Ki is representing all those desires people have while cheating and all most possible ways of cheating, like the last ones in the restaurant were so inexcusable. That's why he is a very important personage. He is kind of an open example and he would be very smart to write Cheating for Dummies. He's so in cheating that he'd completly forgotten why he's cheated in the first place.

Men have their period of time, usually in heir 40s and early 50s, when they try to cheat or they cheat. It has to do something with hormonal disorder, like female's menopause. For example I have two uncles who do the same. I love them so much but I love my aunts as well. They are telling their wifes they love them but in the other hand they pursue their new lovers as well and are unable to give neither of them up. They make everybody very unconfortable and frustrated, but it doesn't stop them. Both aunts lost so much weight and became again very attractive so their husbands are acting jelaouse but them selfs want to have all parts of the cake...

As for Soo-yeon I think she found somebody who finally listens and is there for her (my others uncle case). She was like Stepford's wife - a good very pretty housewife, occasional lover and an exemplatory mother. The perfect image crushed and her husband doesn't ask himself or try to see why. It's for sure she doesn't want a divorce. It looks like they've never argued, exchanged their insecurities in the first place. It's so important in the healthy relationship. I don't like confrontation neither. I'm getting frustrated, depressed and close myself. But there are circumstancies which make the bomb explode and it's up to us to clean our mess and to communicate and listen. It's strangely funny how a man who doesn't care too much about his child is always willing to keep him/her. That's why I find the show very important - to show all the ways people go through while in long time relationship. It's one of a kind ;-)

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"Joon-young’s way too goofy to cheat on his wife (assuming that she really exists), and Bo-young’s been burned once already, so there’s no way she’ll become the “other woman,” right? Right?"

I pray to the heavens that they don't have an affair their relationship just reminds me that guys and girls can be friends without any romantic feelings even if he does seem a little infatuated with her. I hate cheaters so much if it wasn't for Jihyo I wouldn't have watched it cause I can't stand infidelity false or real so these two are like the only reason why I continued to watch

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Ive always wanted to say this

It is not your fault if your spouse cheated upon you !

There is nothing you did to deserve that !

Blaming the other party for your own infidelity is traumatising !

Hunwoo may have flaws but his wife choose to look for the solution outside her marriage.

Let me tell you anyone could have blown out the same way he did. Its very difficult to remain calm in such a situation.

He could have told his mother the truth despite being condemned but he protected his wife.

Im sure the wife's story will come out and his faults will be revealed.

But recappers pls resist blaming him for his spouse infidelity.

Frankly nobody deserves that !

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Thank you for saying that. I am also incredulous at how quickly so many are pointing fingers at Hyun Woo. Sure he is not perfect, and he probably spends too much time at work. But as far as we know he is hard working, he is very involved in the care of their son, and he loves her. There is no hint of abuse of any kind. He apologizes when he has done something wrong and she brushes him off saying it's no big deal. He tries showing support when his mother is intruding upon their lives but she acts like it doesn't bother her. And you made a good point about protecting her from his mom. What is a man to do here, really?

She may feel the weight of the world upon her as she tries to be the perfect wife/mother, but who is putting that expectation on whom here? And to carry on an affair for six months and possible longer if he has not accidentally found out? Especially if she is indeed sleeping with her lover, and with her husband at the same time? Very cold.

Hyun Woo must be completely confused when nothing is playing out the way he thinks. She does not go out after him at the hotel, she does not beg for his forgiveness, she does not promise that she will end the affair immediately. He must feel very small and I think Heroonthebeach is right on the money when he points out that the camerawork certainly is doing a superb job making us see how small he feels/appears physically in one of the scenes immediately after the confrontation.

There are so many things this show can explore from this point and I for one can't wait to see where it takes me.

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Second that! I totally agree with two comments above me. I am actually quite surprised when lots of people are pointing fingers at HW and got reminded by a conversation in this drama about how men would tell nobody if the wife cheated because people would blame the husband instead of having a shoulder to cry on.

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I have to be frank and agree with HallyuMint, MapleSilver and karin. This comment may be a little incoherent because I take adultery so personally, but I'm going to try and gather my thoughts as much as possible.

First, I feel like there needs to be a distinction made between 'reasons for a marriage to fail' and 'reasons for cheating'.

There are many, many reasons for a marriage to fail. Lack of communication, lack of attention, lack of honesty, lack of trust. And I will readily admit that both parties can share the blame for this in many, if not all, cases.

That said, from the very first episode I've always felt like the biggest reasons this marriage has failed are:

a) HW has believed in his wife's love and loyalty for him so deeply that he's never even considered she could lie to him about anything, hence leading to him taking everything SY says/does at face value. She says she's not mad she had to pick up their kid because he forgot, he thinks she's really not mad. She smiles happily while taking in her MIL's well-meaning criticisms, he thinks she's happy. It's a blindspot, yes, but it's also one born of trust.

b) In reality, SY seems to have stopped honestly communicating with HW on even the smallest of matters. She's totally locked HW out from all her real thoughts and feelings to the point where she's practically got a split personality who I fondly call Ms "I'm fine" Stepford Smiler.

Now, I get that people can disagree, because there are so many angles to see this from and still so much we don't know about this relationship. And I'm biased towards HW. But, despite all that, I have to say it: I personally blame SY more.

Yeah, maybe all of this could've been prevented if HW had prodded her more for her feelings, if he'd pushed more when asking her for what her true thoughts are, if he'd tried to listen and understand more.

But men tend to believe what their wives tell them. They don't analyse things thinking "oh did they mean it" or "was that passive aggressive?" or "okay, but what's she REALLY thinking?" They just take what their partners say for the truth. It's an oversight yes, but it's caused by innate trust, not intentional neglect.

But SY? SY's actions are COMPLETELY intentional. She has intentionally shut her husband out, she has intentionally refused to share her real feelings with him, she has intentionally blocked the highway of honest communication so that it's only a one way road. For all intents and purposes, she's the one who initially and deliberately ended their marriage, at least on an emotional level.

Now, may I be taking HW's side more because I know and thus like him more? Yeah. But no matter what is revealed from this point on, no matter how much of SY's pov we see, I stand by my belief that she is the one who gave up on this marriage first.

Continuing in 2nd comment...

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Okay, frankly I think the whole adultery topic has incensed me more than I predicted, because I kept writing and rewriting this piece to over 6k rants and made run-on arguments and contradicted myself and was basically all over the place, so I finally decided to just let myself end it here with this small(er) comment.

At the end of the day, I personally don't believe there is ever a justifiable reason to cheat. Nobody has to cheat. Nobody is forced into it. It's an active choice of betrayal and deceit, and nothing anyone says can excuse it for me.

I just find deceit despicable. It's why I'm so mad at SY for unilaterally ending her honest communication to HW, as well as the whole cheating thing. Because she just went ahead and basically ended their marriage without letting HW know.

She just pretended to be this whole other person in front of him, this perfect wife who's always smiling and patient and good-natured and still in love with him. But to think that during all that time, she was hiding all her real feelings and secretly seething with resentment and seeing someone else... just typing that out makes me feel sick to my stomach.

It's one thing to fall for someone else, and to tell your spouse about it in an honest conversation, and to ask for a divorce. It's another thing to fall for someone and trick your spouse into thinking you are still in love with and loyal them.

Just...no. I'm sorry, but no. That is...an amazingly terrible kind of betrayal. It's not just deceit, it's playing with someone's feelings. It's not just disloyal and dishonest, it's cruel.

For me, there is no excuse for that. None.

That said, we all have different morals and ethics and principles when it comes to this topic, so I'm not going to pretend my pov is all-encompassing. I do respect that others can feel differently. I just strongly disagree, both because of my own beliefs and because, like I said, adultery is a touchy subject with me.

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Adding third and last comment to conclude the first two bc I really did get pretty incoherent lol.

So what I mean/meant to say is, while HW may have some blame in the reasons for the marriages failure (and even then I argue that SY is the one who first shut down all possibilities of working things out), I definitely don't believe he's to blame for her cheating on him. Like everyone above said, I believe that nobody deserves to get cheated on and nothing justifies that kind of betrayal.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts even when things hit a bit too close to home. Just want to say you did not sound incoherent at all. You made perfect sense and I agree that she checked out of the relationship first. I love your point about men not going to second guess it too much when their wives are acting contented. They don't usually overthink stuff like this. LOL.

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Thank you for saying that! It's nice to know the swirling words in my head did not seem as garbled on paper, haha.

And yes, honestly that's why I feel so sorry for HW, because he basically had the rug pulled out from under him for just...being a typical guy lol.

And I mean, I feel like I have to add 'lol' to the end of that, because it's the kind of thing you can cry over if you don't laugh about it. Like he just trusted her. He just trusted her when she told him how she "felt", because he believed she was being honest with him.

Honestly, the scene that keeps coming back to my mind and making me so angry/hurt on his behalf is back in the very beginning. You know, back when he forgot to pick up their kid.

Like the way he sent her all those texts apologising for forgetting, asking if she was angry, asking if she needed him to pick anything up on the way home. Trying so hard to make up for it. And SY just wouldn't answer him. She just would not communicate with him.

And then he got home, and he asked again if she was mad, and she said she wasn't. He asked her to look him in the eye if that was true. And she looked him right in the eye and smiled and said no. And he believed her, because who wouldn't believe the person you love looking you in the eye like that?

And just, it makes me so angry because HW tried so hard to be sure her feelings were okay, even more than a typical guy would. He sent her texts, he asked her at home, he told her to look him in the eye because he wasn't sure. He wanted to make it up to her, he wanted things to go well between them.

But she wouldn't even let him try. She wouldn't listen to his ready apologises or talk to him about her feelings. She wouldn't allow him to work things out. she just played the part and let him think that they were fine while they weren't.

[Cont'd below]

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[Cont'ing above comment]

Like, I still can't even word all the things I feel about how she behaved. She lied to him and tricked him and the worst thing is how she likely feels justified because she hasn't even apologised for it properly.

Like that's what hurts me the most. Because despite all the evidence I too, like HW, wanted to believe until the final moment that SY wasn't really having an affair. I saw that she was being dishonest in the relationship, but I hoped that was all it was. So finding out she really had cheated on him was like being punched in the gut even though I knew it was probably coming.

But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing that hurt so much, was how she didn't even properly apologise.

Oh sure, she said she was 'sorry'. She said she 'hadn't intended for this to end in divorce'. She said she 'didn't mean to deceive him'.

You know what I hear when SY says that?
I don't hear that she's sorry for cheating. All I hear is that she's sorry she got caught.

Not once have I heard her sincerely apologising for actually cheating on HW, for tricking him, for giving him such a wound in his heart.

No, it's all about what she intended with this affair, what she wanted to be the outcome. It's never about how he's hurting because of her, how he's been deceived by her, how it's understandable that he's feeling effing angry about it.

SY hasn't even tried to acknowledge the validity of his feelings, let alone properly apologise for causing them in the first place.

Frankly, SY frightens me. All her actions have shown is that she doesn't want the status quo to change, not that she's actually sorry that she changed it in the first place by going behind HW's back. All she seems to care about is her own comfort in her role as his wife and their kid's mother. Not HW's feelings.

She doesn't seem interested in his feelings at all. She doesn't even seem interested in him forgiving her. She just wants to go on with her life as it was, and for HW to brush off the whole thing. That's all she cares about.

So that's why I am 100% on HW's side about not being able to forgive her if she acts like this, because she hasn't even asked for forgiveness. She doesn't even seem to care if he forgives her or not. She just doesn't want to rock the boat.

Actually, I'm not even on HW's side -I totally take that back- because he is still actually considering forgiving her. I'm sorry, but I was completely genuine when I said that SY scares me. She legitimately scares me as a person. For HW's own good, I don't want her anywhere near him.

Sure, he can get his answers on her side of the story, journey to acceptance blah blah blah, but after that I am all for him getting a divorce and getting as far away from SY as possible.

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You do react strongly to Soo Yeon's behaviors. I think we K-drama viewers are so used to the innocent drama heroines that when we see a character like SY we do not quite know what of make of her. That is why not many are willing to accept her obvious lies and deception and are looking for ways to sympathize with her. The same thing can probably be said if the male lead is the one doing what she does. That is just so outside the norm of Korean dramas, especially ones billed as a romantic comedy, not that this drama has called itself that. You just don't expect to see main leads being so totally unsympathetic, and that is why many viewers still don't see her for what she is. I have to admit I myself have a hard time with this and still hope for a reconciliation and happy ending when the logical thing would be permanent separation.

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Coming into this conversation *3 years late*. To Soo-yeon's credit she hasn't blamed her husband. All the husband blame has been on Toycrane's chat board, office chatter or recap site. She's never displayed any resentment to her husband either, by word, glance or attitude. 'Office Romances' are real and its easy to find yourself becoming infatuated with someone you spend all day with. Whether your home life is happy or not is beside the point.

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I thought the show handled the confrontation very well, and I feel like Hyun-woo's reaction is reasonable storywise and in line with his character. The show has hinted their marriage was not as great as he believed it to be. Maybe he was deceiving himself. Maybe the lack of communication and intimacy had been going on for so long that he ceased to notice the absence of tenderness and mutual understanding. He took his wife for granted. So it makes sense that in the fallout, he's not good at communication b/c he wasn't even good at that before. He doesn't know how to talk to his wife, least when it's her talking about another man. He's still the same person who's always forgetting his kid and scripting scenes in his mind (the latter is probably what makes him good at his job). Also, I don't find his behavior obsessive. How could you NOT spend all your time thinking about this when you've invested X number of years into this marriage and have a kid together. I had a terrible fallout with a friend I loved like a sister and it was so shocking, that it was all I could think about for months. And here's the thing, I was caught in a place where I both hated and loved her, which caused me to say and do things that weren't the most rational nor nice. And I feel like I can see that same conflict in Hyun-woo. He STILL loves his wife. But he's coming to terms with what she did. Love isn't a switch you can turn on and off.

I'm sure he wasn't the perfect husband, but let's be clear, that in no way absolves her of wrongdoing. We can't forget wedding vows. Even so, I hope that they'll be able to work things out because I think that would make for a more interesting story than him just getting a divorce and finding someone else. I want to see them fight for their marriage...or at least have like a 5 min conversation.

I can't say the same for Yoon-ki's marriage. I agree that the show needs to tighten up on that story. It's so uncomfortable watching the show attempt to make his cheating scenes funny. Although, were they trying to be funny? When I watched the show, I was confused at how the show wanted me to respond. Should I laugh? Feel disgusted? Be angry?

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Maybe all three? Lol. Trust me, I am so over him and his cheating ways. When he was in pain from the exercising I was like "......serves you right."

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I think I may be in the minority here. I'm already married and have been in a relationship with my husband now for almost 10 years. I don't see any problem with how Hyun Woo is asking questions from his wife. He is direct to the point. He communicates well. He wanted proper answers without beating around the bush. I am just so frustrated with Soo Yeon like what the f*ck is your problem??? Why can't you just say what you want to say instead of being silent and trying to run away every time???

From what I observe, their relationship really lack communication. It seems until now they haven't really fought over something. Why is that? In the first episode when he forgot to pick up Joon soo, instead of saying that she was upset, she was just quiet.

I think Hyun Woo may have a problem with how he has handled their relationship but Soo Yeon is more guilty for not telling him anything he did which may have upset her or made her love him less like whatever.

He can only see Soo Yeon as the perfect wife as he hasn't even seen her complain about anything, even with how her mother-in-law picks on everything she does, she is just quiet.

It is important to be honest and open with your partner.. say whatever you want to say, good or bad. Don't let things reach to the point where you have to cheat.

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Hyun-woo, like you said, is straight to the point, that doesn't mean he necessarily communicates well. Because, as you said, there is a lack of communication in their relationship.

You said that it is important to be honest and open with your partner and in an ideal world, that should be the case. But that's easier said than done. Realistically speaking, not all couples can be like that. Soo-yeon may be scared of confrontation and in the face of accusations and anger from her husband, she shuts down. Not to mention her nagging mother-in-law; imagine the stress she must have had from that as well (i.e. keep up the good "mother/housewife" image). By now, she must have developed the habit of just taking it in and accepting everything passively.

So I don't think it's right to say who has more blame at the moment, because we don't know the whole situation. The drama has only been told from Hyun-woo's perspective. In the next episode, I hope the show will finally give us more insight on her side of the story. Because there is always more than one perspective to a story.

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Umm.. Nope! She is more to blame at this point. Hyun Woo may not be a perfect husband but neither is she the perfect wife. Sure, she may think she is being the "perfect wife" by being a martyr and silently enduring all that she thinks she must to be perfect. She is the one putting that pressure on her, not her husband. But most importantly the fact that she has committed adultery and he has not puts the blame squarely on her side, whatever her reasons may be. I am not saying he can't be a better man once she tells him how he is lacking, but he is not to blame for her choices for running to another man.

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Yes, those are all good points, but I was alluding to their relationship in general, not just her adultery. I agree that she is to blame for her adultery; however, I think that both are at fault when looking at their overall relationship.

And in that regard, I'm simply saying that we can't make any definitive accusations and assumptions until the drama starts showing us her perspective on this situation. Because right now, we are only looking through the lens of Hyun-woo.

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+1 I agree with what you'd written

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I like your writing style, chocolatte. Reminds me of girlfriday's. But I hope you'll release the recap earlier, like 1-2 days after the episode aired :)

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I really enjoy reading your review chocolatte and I found that we have very similar thoughts regarding this drama so far.

Like most people have pointed out, the lack of communication between Hyun Woo and Soo Yeon is likely to be the key factor for their failed relationship. It was quite frustrating to see her keeping quiet and holding everything in. I was like 'why can't you just tell him how you feel?!' However, after watching this episode, I realised that I have forgotten about the 'listener', who plays an equally important role in a conversation. The first two instances when Soo Yeon tried to talk to him, he just said some harsh words and refused to listen. (His reaction is understandable though, the wound was too fresh and he must be hurting like hell.) The third time when he took tuna mayo advice and tried to have a conversation with his wife, it turned out to be more of a interrogation session. It was apparent that he was not interested in hearing his wife out but more interested in getting her to answer his questions, and in the way he wanted. Like you chocolatte, I wonder if Soo Yeon was this quiet all these while or she became like this because her husband had never been interested to hear her out. Although nothing can ever justify an extramarital affair, it will still be good if we can find out more about her and what drove her to cheat.

I also notice the 3 guys' hypocrisy regarding extramarital affairs. Yoon Ki is such a jerk but Hyun Woo and Jun Young never seem to have any problem with him cheating his wife and even helped him cover up. It is as if it is ok for guys to cheat on their spouse but not the other way round... duhz...

I really enjoy this drama so far. It is so different from the usual k-drama with cringeworthy dialogues and surreal love stories. The solid acting from all the actors also helped. Lee Sun Gyun is definitely a good actor who can make you empathise with his character and his voice is gold. Song Ji Hyo did great too despite the limited screen time and was convincing as the seeming perfect wife who unfortunately, turned out to be a cheater.

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Excellent points, yamayo88! Are you related to tunamayo? :O

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There's definitely a "mind your own business" culture in Korea. Even if they disagree, it's not their place to expose anything since they're loyalties lie with their friend anyway.

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Looking over the first episode I don't see evidence of that lack of communication between spouses. They talk freely and effortlessly, they enjoy each other's company. There's no displays of tension between them (This is all pre-text message of course). Hyun-woo was blindsided. If it weren't for that text message it would have remained a happy marriage.

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Not to forget there is another spouse and maybe child(ren) being deceived by this affair. Children tend to be less forgiving than adults when their parent is intimate with someone outside their family.

On a lighter note, was good to actually see a Korean actress with muscle definition--the trainer at the gym. And some genuine glutes, not the flat butt that would label you anorexic or alcoholic in U.S.! Loved the torture she gave to Yoon-ki, he certainly deserved it and more. He is such a pathetic creature.

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I feel like it's Dear My Friends 2, I keep my tissues close by.
Jeez, how I bawled when Hyun-woo stormed out of the hotel room. You cannot go back anymore, you idiot! Fight for your wife!

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WOW I was really disappointed I was looking forward to this drama but now I am just dropping it after seeing how the wife is cheating and with another married man! this is totally a turn off for me... sure the guy has flaws but overall he seemed to be a good guy anybody that would get doubts like those and even conclusive facts like he is would definitely be acting more and more crazy I feel bad for him and I am so disappointed in the whole drama true it is a fact of life etc but I had some hope that it would be a lie

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I am still on the HW in his reaction when he and SY were talking. It wasn't the best reaction....it wasn't even close. It made things worse, yes. BUT at the end of the day, we have to realize that he had just confirmed (despite him hoping it wasn't the case) that his wife cheated on him. That would drive anybody to an irrational point, so his reaction was imperfectly human. I do however take your point that he isn't the only victim. From the beginning, SY seemed distant with him so we know that her needs were not being met. No matter how much he pushes though, she should've confronted him about it. She was brave enough to cheat, she should've used that strength to either speak or walk away from an unhappy marriage.

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*I meant I am more on HW side in his reaction when he and SY were talking. Sorry >.< My baby demands my attention so that comment was up for over 1 hour and I just hit submit without reading it over.

I also want to say that I am in love with this drama, it's just so good in its delivery. I shy away from dramas/movies about infidelity because I know I will get upset, and I am very upset with SY and the partner she is cheating with BUT I'm just reeled in and I can't wait to see what happens next.

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That Tuna Mayo in Hyun Woo's thread is probably his wife.

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Dude. She seems to have no remorse whatsoever. I know the drama won't end this way but I should hope he leaves her in the dust and finds someone who isn't going to cheat, or will atleast care about his feelings.

I hope she chokes.

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Anyone knows the name of the fitness instructor??

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I think it is pointless to attribute and apportion blame for any case of marital dysfunction. But, the choice and act of having an affair must rest on SY alone.
Even when the marriage fails, SY has to consider other options including getting a divorce rather than having an affair. Not to do so means she is cheating HW by having her cake and eating it.
I can understand and empathise with HW's reaction though it may be not be the best. SY lied to him about her activities that day (twice - before she left the house and even when HW called her when he was already waiting at the hotel. Further, SW attempted to deceive HW in the elevator that he and SY were headed for the hotel lobby.
During the confrontation in the hotel room SW admitted that he and SY had no plans to divorce and they just having fun but he loved her. How can we expect HW to be rational, empathic, cool and calm in his response in that situation?
In a later encounter at home, HW further learns that the affair started six months ago and the couple has slept together.
Hence, even if HW is to blamed for the dysfunctional marriage, SY's act of having an affair cannot be condoned -
she deceived and lied to HW and, if not revealed, would continue the illicit liaison.

d

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After SY's affair was discovered, HW confronted her. It is apparent that she was not too forthcoming to HW's questions. Was she trying to evade the truth of the matter (and HW's questions about the duration of the affair and whether they have slept together - both important, reasonable, and relevant questions).
Instead, SY requested that she talked first to say that "FOR NOW, I am not going to see him anymore". What did she mean or intend to say? How can she fulfil her promise, even for now, given that she still needs to meet up for work on a project for SW's company. SY seems insincere and deceitful.
During the confrontation, SY reinforced HW's belief that the affair was for fun only - a view SW proposed earlier. If SY did not do it to get divorced, was she going to deceive HW until discovered? As HW declared - it doesn't make sense.
Last but not least, SW's text message said he "missed"her, At the hotel he even declared that he "loved" her. During this confrontation with HW, SY claimed "I missed him" and reiterated that "I missed him all this time so I asked him to meet me."
Can any of you make sense of SY's messages to HW? What did she mean? Was she just being honest?
Little wonder that HW is so mad - SY provoked him!

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I did not quite understand SY’s character when I firstly watched and enjoyed this drama. So, I rewatched it to understand her character and story more. I totally agreed with your comment above. SY was not an innocent girl at all. In the early EP, we could see that she intentionally planned to have her 2nd “physical” affair with her lover SW by lying to her husband HW for the ending time of her office meeting such that she could have spare time to sleep with SW.
* When SY firstly talked with her husband at their home, she acted so calmly when said to her husband that she was sorry for what she had done. She PRETENDED that there was NO affair happening and hoped that HW would believe her because the “physical” affair did not happen as it had been early caught up by her husband.
* HW doubted her and pushed the question if she had yet slept with SW and for how long? Now she could not deny that she had slept with SW. She was upset because she was forced to tell the truth. She felt angrily and sarcastically said that she missed SW all the time and planned to meet him although SW was the one who had reserved a hotel room.

My understanding for SY was that she was in love with SW and might originally have a plan to leave her family whenever SW decided to leave their family. She also shared her story in her thread later that when she was with SW, she forgot her family, guilty, etc. Her saying in the thread that she was like a kid chasing after a ballon implying that she would continue to have affairs with SW. Unfortunately, her husband found out and SW chose to dump her and SW’s wife came to berate her. Then SY dare not seeing SW again.

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It made sense that HW did not believe on what SY was saying and pushed her the question if she had slept with her lover. It was not only that he now felt angry but also he lost his trust to his wife. She seemed to forget here that she had early lied to him about her meeting timing that ended much earlier such that she and SW could have an affair before she went to pick up her son.

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Back to the beginning of this EP, when HW confronted both cheaters at the hotel room, he asked SY if she and SW were playing with fire and asked if she didn’t actually love SW while he noticed that his wife did not wear her wedding ring. SY seemed reluctant to answer and SW just quickly jumped-in and replied to HW instead what they did was playing with fire. I thought that the reason of SY’s reluctance to say anything was because she loved her lover SW.

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Who plays the gym instructor?

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They should definitely divorce.
If she cheated and is playing victim and wants to tell 'her story' while not being truly sorry.
If she didn't he never trusted her didn't ask her early on.
They lack communication and that will lead to their relationship ending anyway.

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I'm so lost as to why everyone is blaming him for his wife's actions. Was his self-centeredness justification for her to have an affair? Hell no. She was the one who sought out the MARRIED man and abandoned her family because "she missed him" she betrayed her husband to be with another man and hurt him. If she truly did care she would've acted like a grown woman and should've spoken to her husband about it his actions instead of ignoring the problem to run off to another man's arms, she is no damsel in distress, she is a mother who needs to put the well being of her child before her own. She doesn't deserve to justify her reasons because she lied to the people around her and showed no remorse for her actions.

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I agree directionally on the assessment of the overall situation, but end up in a different place because of the relative importance I attribute to various acts and behaviors. For example, I find your judgment of Hyun-woo is slightly unfair, a bit "monday morning quarterbacking", though I agree that he could have done some things better.

Overall, I don't think that the way he reacted made him lose the "moral high ground" or make me less sympathetic. I would have considered him an alien had he reacted otherwise. He is a broken person whose entire worldview has just been shattered by the ultimate betrayal of the person he trusted most in the world. It's perfectly reasonable for him not to react with perfect equanimity. The person he loved humiliated and hurt him in the worst way imaginable, and from her rather blase behavior after getting caught he didn't see shame, remorse or even an awareness of the depth of the damage he caused him. Quite frankly, while he should try to remain a bit more composed, I can't in a way embrace the idea that she would be entitled to perfect equanimity. Put more simply, he caught her red handed, she can't possibly be so socially inept to expect him to be perfectly calm, let alone thinking that she would be entitled to his first reaction being about putting the blame on himself and putting her experience and perspective before his own.

I don't find it unfair that he has this "movie" in his head of how she should have reacted, because that's the way he feels he would have reacted had he hurt her so deeply. He is essentially asking "Don't you understand how much you meant to me, and how much you hurt me? Do I matter to you at all?", because from her detached behavior it's not obvious that she truly understand how deeply she humiliated and hurt him. She was the person he trusted the most, and therefore the one that could hurt him the most. I find it reasonable, and not unfair, it would have been unrealistic for him to be perfectly composed.

I think that in terms of reasons for the betrayal, lack of communication would definitely be a part of it. I don't think that this excuses her behavior, and I take issue with the claim that it perfectly explains it, too, in a sense: on one hand, it's not unrealistic that lack of care and communication could lead to cheating; on the other hand, there are people who would cheat and others who would show the least bit of respect for their partner and wouldn't. Maybe they would break up, and that would hurt the other person, but at least they wouldn't tear their dignity to shreds and mantain a basic honesty in their intercation. That's not a morally neutral distinction, but a clear indication of the kind of person one is dealing with. It's not that your partner is entitled to your love, but she or he deserves the bare minimum of honesty and respect.

Lack of communication is definitely an issue. Even on that, I have to point out that it's also a two way...

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"What I find interesting is how Hyun-woo seems to have this narrative in his head of what Soo-yeon should have said, and how she should have reacted to being discovered. He can’t even entertain the thought that Soo-yeon may not respond exactly in the way he imagined, immediately thinking that any other sort of response means that she’s ready to destroy their marriage. He seems kind of obsessive all around, unable to let go of something once he’s fixated on it.

So it makes sense to me that Soo-yeon’s response to Hyun-woo’s tirades is to shut down completely — I’ll bet she developed that tactic as a coping mechanism over the years. How often has Hyun-woo steamrolled her in the past, not waiting to hear her words? How many times has he pushed his “ideals” onto her, not being able to see or accept when Soo-yeon’s desires clash with his own? Hyun-woo’s faults don’t serve as an excuse for Soo-yeon’s infidelity of course, but it certainly tarnishes the rosy picture of marriage that Hyun-woo’s painted in his mind. It also makes him less sympathetic as a whole, since he’s not just a victim in this situation."

I agree with parts of it, but mostly not. The guy just discovered that the person he loved and trusted most in the world humiliated, shamed, hurt and deceived him for six months. That he would not be perfectly rational and composed is perfectly understandable, he has that right.

If I have to say something about his relationship, I get the idea that he took his wife for granted, and they had communications problem. I can't, however, pass over the "of course... but" victim blaming, which I find somewhat shameful (not to mention suspiciously one sided, it doesn't seem to go the other way around, somehow... disgusting, and we wouldn't accept in any other context). The fact is that whatever role him being less then perfect played in their relationship, in the context of the cheating, he *was*, to use the expression, "just a victim". Unless we are saying that *because* he was not completely perfec, *then* him being betrayed, humiliated, deceived for six months is justified. Loneliness, lack of appreciation, etc. are not a reason, certainly not a *good* reason (there is no acceptable reason for what she did), but particularly not a reason. The only reason is that she *chose* to cheat. He, without intending to, didn't fully consider her feelings. She chose to show herself to be unworthy of his trust and humiliated, shamed and deceived his for half a year. Intentionally. There is no moral equivalence between these, and it's not a response that can be causally linked to him not being the perfect men with any reasonableness.

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Actions speak louder than words, and her actions say that her idiosincrasies and problems are things she cares more than showing her husband the barest sliver of respect. That's destroying her marriage in practice, if discovered -unless the counterpoint is that what she did was ok, or than she simply didn't need to be discovered-. She removed all trust from the equation (if he is not a moron), so she has *actually* destroyed her marriage.

He remains sympathetic, and, in the specific case of the ceating, "just a victim". In the larger context of the relationship, him tacking her for granted played a part in the situation (that's 10 compared to 10000 in terms of severity, and intent matters -in this case, his unconscious lack of attention versus her intentional betrayal-).

If we are in a troubled relationship, that's on both sides. If you decide to punch me in the face, that's a) an escalation not comparable to what the problem previously was, and b) something that is the sole responsibility of the party throwing the punch, it's not fifty fifthy... the disagreement might be, the jump from tap on shoulder to nuclear annhihiltation, not so much..

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To be more precise, I don't think that it matters particularly if she explicitly thought she wanted to end their marriage or not, her actions make that kind of a moot point -if that is not forcing one's hands, a marriange breaking blight in a relationship, I don't know what is-. Actions speak louder than words. And what does it mean, anyway, exactly? Does she expect him to simply put up with it? Does she not think that he deserves to be with someone that would deign to show him the slightest bit of respect, and *not* betray his trust and lie to him for half a year? We know that she doesn't think he deserves that much for him, but is it possible that she really think that he doesn't deserve better than her (someone that treats him better than her)?

To me it seems like an incredible lack of self awareness. Is he the "bad guy" that broke the toy (relationship), for wanting to divorce her, while she cheated on him and deceived him for the last six months? That's the thief complaining that the banker calls the police after stealing from him, the height of hypocrisy. For that matter, actually destroying the marriage, that is, honestly confronting him about his slights and telling that it's over, would have been perfectly ok. He is not entitled to her love, but he *is* entitles to some basic respect as a human being. She treated him as she never would a stranger, and as she wouldn't tolerate to be treated.

I feel that the assumption that she wanted to destroy their marriage is perfectly valid (that's what she did in practice with her selfish actions, hurting those that loved her, and it matters little if that was an explicit plan or not, it's what she ended up doing), and as for the picture he has in his mind, I think that expecting more contrition would be normal as well -she basically destroyed a person, lied to him for half a year, and she barely registers him, it's not as if she was running after him or being particularly remorseful, on the contrary she seemed rather entitled... One "I'm sorry"? That's it? She didn't forget his anniversary (that too), she lied to him for half a year, more if she was not caught.

She doesn't seem to show any indication that she actually undestand the severity of her betrayal, the deth of how she hurt him, her reaction is extremely underwhelming (kinda reminds me of the Gervais bit about Hitler phoning his victims' relatives to apologize... not invoking Godwyn's law or making any sort of moral equivalence, but the situation is funny in a similar way in that the character doesn't seem to show any indication of how grave what she did was... only, since in this case there is no comedic intent, she comes off as genuinely oblivious and entitled).To be more precise, I don't think that it matters particularly if she explicitly thought she wanted to end their marriage or not, her actions make that kind of a moot point -if that is not forcing one's hands, a marriange breaking blight in a...

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one sided -> double standard

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"He can’t even entertain the thought that Soo-yeon may not respond exactly in the way he imagined, immediately thinking that any other sort of response means that she’s ready to destroy their marriage. He seems kind of obsessive all around, unable to let go of something once he’s fixated on it. "

I think he was hoping for a less underwhelming show of remorse (not that any words would be sufficient to fix this). Well, she was clearly potentially okay with risking destroying their marriage, so she was obviously willing to jeopardize their relationship (if she didn't even contemplate that as a potential consequence of her actions and simply assumed that he should take her back and act as if nothing happened, she woud be self conceited to a delusional level). She obviously hoped to be able to get away with it and never getting caught, but like jail for the thief, this is simply an occupational risk she was willing to accept. The fact she didn't care about risking their marriage, or about the way this would impact her husband and child obviously supports his point of view, rather than making it paranoid. The reason I don't put a night with my husband up as collateral in a bet is because I care about our relationship and am not willing to risk it. She was willing to risk her relationship, which indicates her priorities. She hoped not to get caught, but considered hurting her husband and destroying her marriages as something cheap enough to risk compromising it with her behavior.

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I have to point out that he just discovered that she had been lying to his face for the past half a year, with no care for how it would affect him and their child. It's kind of obvious that after that he wouldn't trust her (having just have discovered that she turned out to be unworthy of his trust), so, as they say, it's not paranoia if they are out to get you. In this case, it's not as if he thinks everyone is out to get him and doesn't trust anyone, he just doesn't trust the person that betrayed him and deceived him for the last six months, and would have continue to do so had he not caught her. Not trusting her after that would be a perfectly logical response.

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"she’s ready to destroy their marriage"

She was at the very least ready to risk destroying her marriage, so I would say that the one above is at least directionally true. It's not really even about her wanting to do that, or even if she cares, but about whether she cares enough. She didn't care about how her betrayal and lies would affect her husband and children.

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It seemed like there was a scene that the writer intended to test audiences’ perception on SY’s character. When SY told HW that she has decided to not seeing her Soon-Woo SW lover “for now”. Why did the writer put the script to have SY say these “for now” words? It could mean SY stopped seeing SW any more or we could think similar to what HW thought that it was temporary stopped. The former gave SY a credit but the later made SY look bad and selfish. If the words turned to be “from now on”, the story would definitely change.

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I am answering a bit late. But that "for now" bit is a subtitle error. There are a whole bunch of subtitle errors that makes this drama look a lot different in English and other languages. For example, in the hotel, the husband does not ask his wife "Do you love him?". He asks her "Are you serious?" I am guessing you watched this on Viki Rakuten or Disney or some other OTT site. Trust me. This entire drama sounds different if you watch it in Korean.

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Thanks for the comment. I also watched the original J-drama … and the J-writer used the wordings when the wife talked to her husband that she would stop seeing her lover “for a period”.

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I don't want to write a long comment here explaining the translation, since I am reserving that for a longer essay (which I hope I can publish it here). But the JDrama too got the translation wrong. The word she used there is とりあえず. It means "for now". But it also means "at once" and "first off". Which one do you think a wife who is desperately trying to save her marriage would have used? And the KDrama too uses this same idea from the JDrama. The Korean word she uses is pretty similar to the Japanese word in its multiple meanings.

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Hey...sorry for commenting here. But couldn't help asking you about the J-Drama. I watched the J-Drama too first. Can you share with me your opinion about the J-Drama? Especially on how the way the female lead's character was written in that. I'd really love to discuss it with someone who watched it.

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Hello, let me share what I thought about the wives’ characters between these two dramas although the key story was not much different.

The J-wife’s character, IMO, was clearer and more understandable. As I recall, the J-wife slept with her lover once during her business trip with him. Later she was the one who made a hotel reservation to be with her lover when she needed someone to comfort her when she felt exhausted. So, she seemed to be more cruel than the K-wife but I understood her action in this sense.

The K-writer seemed to make the K-wife’s character to feel passionately in love with her lover. The K-wife’s lover made a hotel reservation to sleep with her and she accepted it. There were so many scenes showing her emotional (love) feelings with her lover. A simple example was when the K-wife’s lover dropped her off at home after a late night work, she blew and kissed her hand given to her lover with her sweet smile and they held hands together. In the J-drama, the wife felt reluctant when her lover wanted to hold her hand.

There was a twisted story in the K-story that I did not understand the K-writer’s intention at all when the wife confronted her husband asking if he had an affair before. The J-wife asked her husband b/c she knew his ONCE affair secret …. BUT the K-story turned out that the K-husband had only a fantasy thinking and did not have any affair during their marriage. So, this scene undoubtedly compared the K-wife’s affair guilt that she cheated on her husband while he was honest to her.

When I watched the J-drama, I did not feel that the J-wife had any much connections with her lover after they SLEPT once. The J-wife did NOT express her (happiness) feelings with her lover or obviously showed that she thought of or missed him (but only a scene when she was upset during her argument with her husband at home). Oppositely, the K-wife admitted at the ending story about her feelings with her lover after the affair started that she forgot her family and did not feel any affair guilt when being with her lover and would continue the affair relationship if the husband did not find out.

Lastly, it seemed that the J-wife’s regret and apologies to the husband were more clearly and sincerely after the affair was found out.

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Hi. Sorry I am not able to reply on your new comment for some reason. Anyway, speaking about the J-Drama what do you feel is the reason why the wife wanted to get back with her husband? She left the house angrily after they finally had the talk. But within a few days, after reading his posts on the Q&A site, she immediately felt softened towards her husband. Why do you think she did that?

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Hi …. The reason that the J-wife left the house was reasonable. She was so disappointed that the husband still did not understand that she needed him to be with and comforted her when she was exhausted - it was clearly shown in the J-drama that the husband was always busy and never be at home when the wife needed or wanted to talk. Also, she was more upset after finding out that their personal story was put into the internet by the husband.

But when she carefully re-read his posts, she clearly understood his expressions and his feelings of how much he loved her. As I recall, the key words were something like … how much he loved her (more than the other man) and still loved her although he found out her affair and wanted to improve himself on what he did wrong to start over with her.

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You are correct about the J-Drama wife leaving because her husband not understanding at all. But I want to ask you something more actually. Do you think the J-Drama wife love her husband even during her affair? Or did she actually stop loving him?

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From the J-female lead’s character as seen in the J-drama, I do not think that she loves anyone … either her husband or her lover. She does not express any feelings when talking with him in the office meeting room or meeting him in the hallway.

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Also, it seems that the J-wife has more control over the husband … which is quite rarely seen in J-culture.

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I am still not able to reply directly. I don't know why. But continuing with your earlier comment about how "she clearly understood his expressions and his feelings of how much he loved her. " when she re-read his posts, what do you think would have happened if the husband in the J-drama was able to actually convey his true feelings right on the day he confronted her at the hotel? If he had actually listened to her when she asked "Don't you want to know why?" at the hotel or at least when she tried to talk to him at their home, and then expressed he should have helped her, how would the J-drama wife had reacted? Will she have felt guilty like she did after reading the Q&A post? Or will she have let him accept the blame?

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I do not think that the J-husband would be able to describe those words and his feelings to his wife during the three’s confrontation in the Hotel room or when they both talked at home. The husband was still upset and so angry during those times. It made sense that he described those words and feelings later when he was cool down. ….. Sometime the SAME words can be interpreted differently depending on the timing, circumstance, and situation. The written words may also, sometime, describe true feeling and show more sincerely

The J-husband’s character was a bit clumsy (when compared to the K-husband’s character) and the J-story seemed to show that the J-wife took control over him …. Even when the J-husband was so upset in the Hotel room, the wife dared to tell him to not be agitated or … told him not to be angry when the J-husband started to talk loudly when they talked at home.

You are an interesting question ….. IF the J-husband could say his true feelings to his wife when they talked at home, the J-wife’s reaction might be different and softened b/c she just did wrong and her affair was caught up red-handed. Although after the J-wife re-read her husband’s posts and understood his true feelings, I did not think that she felt much guilty about the affair BUT she just wanted to reconcile with him b/c she realized that the husband still loved her. That was the point that she asked the husband if he could forgive the wife who was hold by another man.

I more preferred the original J-drama (although the Korean ML and FL performed excellently and emotionally). The J-story portrayed that both husband and wife had their affair guilt …. But it provides food for thought WHY it would be hard for the man (mostly in Asian culture and elsewhere) to forget the wife’s affair guilt BUT the wife would be able to stand with and forgave the husband’s affair guilt.

Sorry for this long note … and I am glad to share my opinion and discuss with you about these two dramas.

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#1: Hi. Thank you for your reply. I am still not able to reply directly to your subsequent comments. So I am going to give a serial number to my comments from here on to keep track.

You make a very valid point about how the J-wife did not feel much guilt originally. In fact that is why we see she actually becomes angry when her husband downplayed her struggles when she explained to him why she had the affair. She had thought of herself as the victim.

However in the J-drama by the time she re-reads her husband's posts, she already felt guilty too because "she had not only failed as a wife but she failed as a mother too". In fact, I don't think the subtitles I've seen for J-drama show this clearly, but she says "now that I see that I have not only failed as a wife, but as a mother too, I understand the gravity of the situation only now". So by that time she is feeling guilt.

This is why I asked you that question. She did want to reconcile with her husband initially. But if she had reconciled with him, will she have felt love for him? Do you think she felt love for him because she also knows now how badly she has hurt him? Is it love out of pity? Or do you think she could have genuinely loved him even if she didn't realize how badly she had hurt him?

(don't worry about the long posts. I prefer long replies. btw, are you from an Asian culture? Knowing that can help me understand your replies better. For reference I am from an Asian culture)

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Yeap … I am also from an Asian culture.

For the J-wife, by somehow, I did not feel that she initially realized that her affair hurt the husband. She might be sorry about her guilt but did not think that her husband was hurt.

I’d think her attitude changed after she re-read his posts …. In the J-drama’s subtitle that I watched, I recalled that she posted her note to the husband that she could not get back to him b/c she realized (now ?) how much he was hurt before saying that she failed as a wife and a mom.

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#2: You are correct about how the J-Drama wife did not feel guilty for the hurt she caused her husband. But the reason is also very clear. From the very beginning she thought of herself as the victim. When the husband was storming out of the hotel room she quickly asks him "Don't you want to know why?". This indicated two things: She is fully aware why she had the affair and she thinks her reasons actually justify her affair and therefore she should tell it to her husband. This is different from the K-Drama.

Anyway, when someone thinks they are the victim even when they aren't, how do we correct them? We can show them how they are wrong . Or we can show them that they have hurt someone innocent and good. Or we can show them how someone is more hurt by their actions than themselves.

What did the J-drama husband do? Right off the bat, at their very first proper conversation he mentions how his ego is bruised. He talks about 面子 (mentsu). Mentsu roughly translates to ego or "public face". The J-drama wife is particularly affected by his mention of "mentsu" she indignantly repeats "mentsu?". Infact in episode 6, she sarcastically asks him whether he accepted to be the best man for his kouhai for his "mentsu". She is fully convinced that her husband does not care about the marriage or their relationship, but only cares about his ego. That itself makes him an callous, egoistic man in her eyes.

Also, does he ever once mention how he is hurt to his wife in the J-drama? Not even once. Not even till the last episode. Compare this with the K-drama where in episode 5 in their second conversation the husband screams "I am the one who is feeling like dying", "I am the victim", etc. Even if he was angry, he was still able to get his point across of being hurt to the K-drama wife. She too acknowledges that she has hurt him. So she doesn't she herself as the victim. But that is not at all the case in the J-drama.

So, the J-drama wife does not even see the hurt she has caused. And she is now seeing her husband as someone who is only worried about his ego. Naturally, she remains the victim in her eyes. In ep.8 when she re-reads the post, it is not the fact that he loves her that moves her. It is the fact that he is a good man who still thought about the relationship that moves her. That is why she stops being the victim immediately. Until then she thought he only cared about "mentsu". Now she knows she has hurt a good man.

As for your other question about why she didn't want the interview published, she didn't actually care about the interview. She was worried about her husband and her ex-lover meeting. She was rightly worried because she knew something bad might happen since her husband is angry. That is why she wanted to stop it.

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Your view of the J-wife’s thinking to stop her lover’s interview publishing makes sense.

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Hi …. May you share your thinking about K-wife’s character in having an affair with a married man with “kids” ? …. But the J-wife had an affair with a married man without kid.

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I don't have any specific opinion about the kids. The kids don't make a difference and in fact it actually made them both ensure that they won't break up two families and hurt two sets of kids. Other than that I didn't think there was a difference. Do you have some opinion on that?

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Good point … This might be the reason that the K-writer changed the story such that they won’t think to break-up the families or divorce to hurt the kids. So, they would continue their love-affair until one-day that they decided to end the relationship. This could happen in the drama but not in real life !! … The longer relationship period, the more difficulty to end it.

The song Lyrics seems incorrect saying that the K-wife did not even love her lover and that ONE-TIME mistake made her lose everything. Although she slept with him ONCE, she did not break-up her affair and continued the relationship with another man for such a long period. This is not a ONE-TIME mistake BUT a truly long-affair relationship.

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Hi, may you share your opinion about the K-wife’s character? The K-story told us that

* Both K-wife and her lover had a concept of having an affair without divorcing in mind to save their families.
* Her K-lover claimed in front of herself and her husband in the Hotel room that he loved her.
* She took her wedding ring off and was so reluctant to answer her husband’s question if she was serious with another man and her lover quickly jumped-in saying that they were playing with fire.
* The K-wife admitted at the end that she did not think of her family and affair guilt. She was so happy when being her lover and did not even think to end the love-affair relationship.

From above, I understood that she was passionately in lover with another man during the affair.

BUT when the K-wife’s lover left her in the hotel room without comforting her and decided to end the relationship completely by taking her out from the project. The K-wife still tried to personally meet and talk with her lover by referring to the project hand-over (without bringing her colleague who took over her job with her). But when her lover told her that they should NOT meet any more, why did she NOT feel disappointed to her lover? Was the imagination of “without divorcing in mind” make sense without any hurt feeling?

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Interesting points. I will explain my views here:
* This point was the same in the J-Drama. The K-Drama follows it as it is.
* This point too, about how the lover tells that he fell in love was in the J-Drama too. Same here.
* In the J-Drama too she was reluctant to answer the question and had taken the ring off. So the K-Drama follows exactly that.

Now, having said those points, in both J-Drama and K-Drama it was the wife that talked about ending their affair first. In the J-Drama we don't see what happened in the hotel room after. But in the K-Drama we know that the wife did not discuss anything with her lover. She went home and later that night she tells her husband that she has decided to stop meeting her lover. She actually says : 일단 그 사람하고는 안 만나기로 했어 (Firstly, I have decided not to meet him). Now, the key word here is 일단. It is pronounced "ildan". It means "first off". It also means "for now". In some places it can mean "just that". Given that context, she could have even said "It's not an excuse...just that I have decided not to meet him". She could have also said "First off, I've decided not to meet him". But she certainly cannot have said "for now". But her husband intentionally misinterprets that as "for now" to lash out at her. In the J-Drama too, the wife uses the word "とりあえず" (toriaezu) which is exactly like "ildan" in Korean. This word too means "first off", "for now", or even "at once", depending on the context.

So in both J-Drama and K-Drama the wife decides to end the affair first. In K-Drama we know it explicitly because we know they did not discuss it in the hotel after the husband left. In J-Drama we don't know whether the wife and lover discussed it in the hotel room and came to a decision to end it. However she says "I have decided to not meet that person" indicating it was her decision. Either way, that's that.

In episode 4 of the K-drama, by the last scene, the wife gets a phone call from the lover at her office. Her face turns so deathly afraid when she hears its a phone call from him. All happiness in her face is lost and she dreads to talk to him. That itself indicates what she feels about the affair now. In the J-Drama if you notice this same scene, the wife is not showing any expression. She just takes the call casually. For her it is work as usual. In fact, I was shocked at her casual attitude at the phone call. Compared to the K-drama wife she was so casual about even business meetings with the lover. In the K-drama the wife was acting timid and very official-like polite when she met her lover at his office. That showed she was feeling awkward and guilty. She doesn't have to bring her colleague. In Asian cultures, the handover is seen as a formal act that is required to be done. She was just doing that.

* As for the K-drama wife talking about guilt, it actually means she was a different person during the affair. She thought of herself as free of responsibilities. In...

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Very good points for further discussing. Please add more.

By the way, I have one more question that I do not quite understand the J-wife on why she called her husband and told him to NOT publish her lover’s interview in his magazine?

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You really brought up so many good points. I will break my views in two sections b/c the comments may be a bit long. My views between these two dramas are

# S-1
+ The “for now” in K-drama and “for a period” does not mean so much for me. I think both J and K writers used those words to draw Viewer’s (more) attention. Even both wives said “from now on” or equivalent, it meant nothing to the husband at that time b/c he was still angry and would not believe whatever she said.
+ Both K- and J-wives told their husbands at home that they would end her relationship with their lovers. The J-drama clearly showed that the J-wife stopped her “personal” meeting and feeling with her lover and she meant it. The J-wife did not express her awkward or any love or care feelings for her lover (even she suspected that her lover would met the husband after their office’s meeting and lately noticed her lover’s wound face). The J-wife told her husband that she met her lover due to works related. Another supporting scene in the J-drama about “work related” was that although the husband did not want to publish her lover’s interviews, he finally decided to publish it b/c he realized how much effort of his writer-colleague paid her attention for the work.
+ You pointed out exactly what I thought about the J-wife. The J-wife’s character was stronger than the K-wife’s character. I felt that the J-wife did not feel much love to the husband … The J-drama clearly showed that she intentionally took her wedding ring off and was the one who booked a hotel room. She was able to encounter the husband when they talked. She did not cry out when she talked to her husband about her reason or excuse for the affair. Was it due to her negotiation power knowing her husband’s affair secret? …. I don’t think it was only the reason. It was her written character that she was stronger and more mature than the husband.

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Good points. Now if I may ask you something, in the first episode of the J-drama there were two occasions when the wife sees her husband unexpectedly. In both occasions she was acting excited like a little kid.

In the first ,when he came to give her phone at her office, she was surprised and was giggling with excitement. She was actually jumping like a little kid running to him.

In the second, outside of the restaurant when he was spying her, she went inside the restaurant. As he decides to walk, but met the divorce lawyer guy and he's talking, she spots her husband. She shouts out to him "papa" and runs to him giggling like a little kid. In the first scene at least, both were looking at each other. In this scene, she thinks she spotted him first and voluntarily calls him out and runs to him.

From these scenes, what do you think she felt towards her husband?

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For those scenes, I understood that they had a lovely family. Both husband and wife loved each other while the husband suspected that his wife might have another man.

There was a small hint in those scenes which later supported the J-wife’s excuse when explaining the husband that he was not available when she wanted to share or complain her burdens. The J-husband denied his wife’s invitation in having lunch together in the mobile-phone returning scene and refused his wife’s intention to go home together after her late night’s dinner with colleagues. Even later when they wanted to explain and understand each other at home, the J-husband was so busy with his ex-writer and they had no time to talk.

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#3: I will come back to the country-side scene from the K-drama in a bit. But what you said about the J-dorama ep.1:

"Both husband and wife loved each other while the husband suspected that his wife might have another man."

Now, do you say that the wife loved her husband even during the affair as it was shown in that episode? I actually would agree with that. But just confirming because earlier you had said that she loved neither her husband nor her lover. So, I want to know if you are departing from that stand.

Anyway, if you concur that she indeed loved her husband even during the affair, can you say why did she love her husband? As we know, in the many years, he wasn't supportive, unhelpful and completely neglected her. So why did she love him, in your opinion? I have my theory. Just want to hear yours so that I can talk more about it.

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I also questioned myself if the J-wife’s character was changed due to a nature of human-being’s protection or defense.

I noticed that the J-wife’s character was changed to be a bit harsh after the husband and wife secondly talked at home. My view for the J-wife was that she might not initially feel the affair guilt was serious b/c when she had early known her husband’s early affair, she did not mention it to the husband and was able to forgive him. So, she might understand by herself that the husband was able to forgive her after listening to her explanation which the J-drama showed us that she firstly tried to explain her affair’s reason to the husband in the Hotel room. But when they talked at home in the 2nd time, she was disappointed that the husband still did not want to listen to her explanation but kept asking her the affair questions that she did not want to answer. So, when she thought that the husband did not want to understand and protect her, she might feel neglected in a relationship and have Negative feelings toward the husband (although she still loved him) at that time. That was what we saw her expression in the drama that she might not love him.

So, please share your view about this.

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#4: You are correct about how the J-wife's attitude changed only during the second conversation. Actually only at the hotel room when she told him to not be agitated, she was acting a little stand-offish. But after that when she came home she was looking timid. She was pleading with him. But as I have mentioned already, her attitude changed at one point.

This is my theory. When he mentioned "mentsu". If you look at that scene again she is very visibly hurt when he mentions "mentsu". Her husband is indicating to her that all he cares about is his pride. At this point everything changes. Then she acts spiteful and leaves. Afterwards things went downhill. Then in ep.6, when she asks him why did he agree to be the best man at the wedding of his kouhai, she actually tells him that he did it for his "mentsu". So she is very clearly impacted by how her husband only cares about his pride.

Please check these scenes in ep.4 and ep.6 again. The word "mentsu" is not something very commonly used in Japanese. Since she repeats his exact word against him, it is somewhat clear that, that is what hurt her the most and after that she starts to resent him.

Like I said, this is my theory. But if you can watch these scenes again and corroborate or disagree with it, I'd find it helpful. Please check out and tell me.

Anyway, as a second question, why do you think she loved her husband even during her affair? Why was she loving him even when he was unsupportive and neglectful? Do you have an opinion?

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Although the story showed that the J-husband was not supportive and neglectful for the wife, I assumed that he might have other good things for the wife and family which the J-story did not show us those details … I interpreted it that way b/c the story led us by showing the wife still loved him at that time. The husband is a good man but not a flawless person and he can do a mistake.

If the J-wife did not love him during the affair, the written story should be changed in the way that she did not need to care the husband’s feelings or tried to explain the reason of her affair at the Hotel or later at Home. She did not need to tell her husband at Home that she would end the relationship with her lover.

Any view from you?

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#5: As you said:

"If the J-wife did not love him during the affair, the written story should be changed in the way that she did not need to care the husband’s feelings or tried to explain the reason of her affair at the Hotel or later at Home. "

I too actually thought about this. She didn't want a divorce, so she could have ended her relationship with the lover. But even then why did she want to explain it to her husband? One way we can think is that she loved her husband and wanted him to understand her.

But there is another way to think too. She didn't want a divorce for the sake of keeping her family safe. So she wanted to explain things to her husband believing she was the victim and therefore he will understand. But when she thought he wasn't as understanding, she decided she can't live with a man she hates even for the sake of family or her child.

Now, I am not saying this is what I believe. I am just saying this too can be true.

However, the only real evidence we have that she loved her husband even during the affair is how she jumped like a kid seeing him unexpectedly on two occasions in the first episode. Everything else can be invalidated with one reason or the other. What do you think?

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Your view is interesting and valid.

Btw, please share your views for

+ The J-wife’s and K-wife’s feelings and characters. Their characters and actions were different and some of their revealed stories were also shown differently. By somehow, I felt that the K-wife loved and had two men in her heart during the affair. But I did not feel the same way for the J-wife when I watched the J-drama.

+ The J-wife’s and K-wife’s lovers. Their characters and the sequences of the drama stories were different. I felt that the K-wife’s lover was (secretly) a flirtatious man and might take advantage on the K-wife b/c he noticed her weakness. But I did not have the same view for the J-wife’s lover.

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#6: I wanted to make a longer comment about why I don't think there's much difference in how the K-wife and J-wife saw their lovers. But basically I'd say, the K-wife's character is more fleshed out and we see her describing her affair in much detail, twice in the series, which could give the impression that she loved her lover more than the J-wife did. However I would like to know why do you think the J-wife did not love her lover much?

As for the k-drama lover being flirtatious, that too we only see because we see him in much more detail in the flashback. Besides his way of noticing the K-wife was different (noticing how she had kept a book unread) unlike the basic kindness that the lover in j-drama did. So, that's one aspect. Otherwise I don't feel much difference.

However continuing with my earlier question, what did you think about what the J-wife said about how she was the first to fall in love (when they were star-gazing with friends in ep.9)? What do you think is that scene's significance when it comes to understanding why she loved her husband even during her affair?

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Sorry for a bit late reply. For your question of “why I did not feel that the J-wife did not love her lover during the affair”, it might relate to the J-story which did not disclose much about her feelings with her lover and her so-calm expression when meeting or being with him during the affair or after it was found out.

The star-gazing scene, when the J-wife said to her old friend that she was the one who firstly loved the husband, did not clearly show (in my view) that she still felt in love with her husband “during the affair”. The scene when the J-husband heard what she was saying, meant more to me when he realized that not only he loved her but she also loved him in the past (but during the affair ?). Her expression to the husband in EP.1 more clearly showed that she still loved her husband during the affair.

Another following scene in the Tatami-Mat bed room had more meaning in showing the J-wife’s guilty feeling along with her waiting and wish for the husband to forgive her although she realized that it would be hard for him after reading his replies in the blog.

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#7 Don't worry about the late reply. I too occasionally miss the notifications or not visit this site.

As for the tatami room scene, I saw that as the changed relationship power dynamic between the husband and the wife. You mentioned how the J-wife was strong in the series. But did you notice one thing? In the K-drama, by the end of the series, at least from episode 10 till the end, the K-wife was in fact more mature and was a stronger person. She was not acting guilty around her husband. She was not acting like her husband was some fragile soul whom she must tread around carefully. But in the J-drama, from ep.9 till the end, did you notice the change in the wife's demeanor around her husband? She was always acting like a guilt-ridden person. She wasn't happy and enthusiastic like she was before her affair was discovered. Neither was she strong during the middle episodes. In the final 3 episodes she was acting subdued and in fact subservient to her husband and that is how her character is portrayed to have changed. Did you notice that difference between the K-wife and the J-wife?

Coming back to the star-gazing scene, I'd like to ask you, whether you see the difference between how love is portrayed in western literature/media and Asian literature/media? How important is nostalgia in showing love in western dramas? In western dramas you see love being presented as the feelings drawn from experiences of the past or the current feelings in the present? On the contrary, how important is nostalgia in Asian dramas? Which gets more importance? The memories of the past or the feelings in the present?

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Hi … I am so sorry for a very late reply. It has been quite a long time that I do not log into the Dramabean web.

IMO, the written Western love story in the drama or movie is short, clearer, and easier to understand. The story does not much mention about the story of how the ML and FL developed the love or relationship since when they were young or back to their college-years until the present time. The story is much like the consequences from their actions, which happens now, is from their present livings and actions …. which does not need to mention back to their past love story since they developed their relationship.

For the Asian love story, many Asian Writers always write about the past story showing how FL and ML has developed their loving relationship from the past. Although the consequence from their present cations is not good, both ML and FL used to have a good time together in the past.

I also notice that Asian drama stories are written differently regarding the Man’s affair and Woman’s affair. When a man has an affair, the story does not mention much about why or what is the reason that he has an affair. However, when a woman has an affair, the story will be written to show how hardship or how much effort that she has done for the family to justify the affair and she is the Victim (although the husband is not really a bad guy but he also is not a flawless person). Many stories are also written that the wife can move-on when her cheating husband’s affair is found out … and she can find out a new good man at the end ….. Oppositely, the man can not survive and wants to reconcile with the cheating wife after her affair is found out.

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#S-2
I felt that the K-drama had so many unclear or untold story and it was hard to understand the K-wife’s character.
+ The K-wife’s character was softer than the J-wife’s. The K-drama revealed “more” K-wife’s (happiness, forgetting her family, etc.) feelings toward her lovers when compared to the J-drama’s wife. There was a small detail that I wanted to give credit to the K-drama’s team for the K-wife’s dressing style. During the K-wife’s affair, she dressed-up so nicely and even put make-up on her face when seeing her lover BUT she wore quite a typical dressing style before the affair started and after her lover abandoned her when seeing him. The K-wife, IMO, still loved her husband BUT she also had another man in her heart after the affair started … and she also admited at the end that she did not think to break-up the affair relationship if the husband did not find out. That was WHY I was confused about the J-wife’s feelings with her lover that she did not express any disappointed feelings when knowing that her lover abandoned her completely. So, did the “having an affair without divorcing in mind to save family” BUT without her own feelings toward her lover make sense?
+ As you pointed out the K-wife realized that her husband was hurt by her affair after he caught-up her red-handed. The K-story seemed to show her (obvious) care about her lover’s family but not her own family. This is quite annoying for me b/c the ones who were hurt were her own partners and family BUT the story did not much show her growths to save her broken family and gain her husband’s trust back. Her character might be written in the way that she just only waited for the husband to forgive her.
+ The K-story seemed to show that the K-wife had communication issues and did not share her burdens to the husband resulting in her over-works and weakness. But there was a scene (which the J-drama did not have) showing that the K-wife kept pushing the husband to resolve her issue in finding out a camera man to satisfy the Mom’s group. So, I did not really understand WHY she did NOT share her other burdens to the husband and not cheat him. Her “everyone living like that” thinking and lacking of communication did not connect here.

What are your other views for the two dramas and wives’ characters? Btw, do you have any views for the K- and J-lovers’ characters? I felt that the K-wife’s lover might not love her but took advantage on her and b/c he noticed her weakness. He cut-out the relationship immediately after the affair was found out. Compared to the J-wife’s lover, he ended the relationship after the affair was found out for a period of time. He ended it after he was punched by the J-wife’s husband and the J-wife’s work quality was not as good as before..

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You've wrote many important points. But I also feel there are so many nuances that you missed in the K-drama. I will give you one example. In episode 7 of the K-drama, at her father's house, the wife sits out on the porch to read a book. She opens the book and immediately she has a memory. In that memory, she is dressed nicely, with make-up and bright lipstick on, just as she would be on a date with her lover. We don't know yet, what this memory is, but we can guess it is from a date with her lover. Actually in ep.12 when she writes about her affair on the blog, this scene comes again and in that we can see finally that it is indeed from a date with her lover. Now, immediately after this memory comes, what does the K-wife do? She feels triggered. She feels some negative feelings as if she is experiencing guilt. She is fidgety, looks up from the book, looks to the side and puts her book away. That is when she accidentally sees her husband's words written on a page in the book. That takes her back to the memory of when they were dating. She feels a pain and we can see her feeling that she has lost something very important.

This scene is an example of juxtaposition. Two different memories with two different persons. The first memory makes her feel guilty and triggered. The second memory makes her feel pained by loss. So, from her reaction to the first memory we can see that the affair is making her feel hurt for the destruction she has caused. That is how she sees the affair now.

In the J-drama do you see any scene like this? Even after the wife decided on divorce and went to live alone, she was still okay with calling her lover to talk about why she was taken off the project. But given how the K-drama wife was reacting in episode 7, do you think she'd be capable of even talking to her lover like that after all the things that have happened?

Also, one more thing: In the K-drama, the wife when she talks to her husband about how he has informed her lover's wife she was still acting calm. She asks him "are you feeling relieved now?" and when he shouts "yes. why?" she actually says "I understand. I can see you are hurt now". But what did the J-wife do? She actually called her husband "dirty" (キモイ). She didn't even try to understand her husband's hurt. In fact in episode 6 she talks about how her husband had hurt the lover's wife, but she does not even think how her husband might have been hurt.

Now based on what I've mentioned, what do you think of the K-drama wife compared to the J-drama wife?

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I felt that the K-wife “initially” realized that her affair hurt the husband and she felt guilty since he caught up her affair at the hotel (but I did not feel that the J-wife initially felt (much) guilty or cared of her husband’s hurt feeling until she re-read her husband’s posts). Although the K-wife was so upset when her husband kept pushing her the question if she had slept with her lover and she exaggerated in replying her husband that she missed her lover and called him first (although the story showed that her lover made the hotel reservation), I well understood her feeling to the husband at that time.

Regarding the country-side scene where the K-wife visited her father in the K-drama, I interpreted the K-story slightly different from you. What I interpreted that reading-book scene was that the K-wife “still firstly” thought about her happiness with her lover but when she realized it, she just stopped her feeling … and then when she found her husband’s written words, it just flushed back her good and sweet memory back with her husband … But as my understanding for the K-wife’s feelings that she “already” felt guilty and hurt the husband, so the reading-book scene did not mean much to me. But the later scene was so touching and emotional when she left her father and cried out when realizing the consequence of her affair and broken family that either her or her husband would have to stay “lonely” like her father.

Anyway, I had another view for the country-side scene. The K-wife later claimed in the last EP that she did not have enough time to fix her worn shoes … BUT how she could take her days-off to visit her father in the country-side or in the earlier time when she had intentionally lied in front of her husband’s face for the late office meeting activity to be with her lover in a Hotel room? She seemed to mess-up her life and time management … and her not-enough time excuse was questionable.

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I enjoyed this drama and rewatched it from the start.

I did not quite understand SY although I rewatched it again. It was hard to identify her character and thought if I would feel sympathetic to her. When she and HW talked together in this EP and what was her intention when she said to her husband that “she did not have an affair because she wanted to divorce” … and “she did not mean to deceive him”. The true fact was that she had the 1st affair and slept with another man before. The planned 2nd affair would nearly happen if it did not get caught. I would think that the Writer made SY to have a character of unclear communication. Whatever she said was doubtful and not convincing.

* When she said that she did not have an affair because she wanted to get divorced. If she meant that she did not deceive her husband, it led to a thought that SY did not care much about the ‘moral’ affair mistake and realize how it would destroy her family and hurt closed beloved people … although she seemed to be a person who pleased and did not want to argue and upset anyone. She was a SELFISH girl and just enjoyed her happiness moment by playing with fire without any care that she was going to destroy her family when the affair was caught up.

* Was she lying to her husband that she had not yet had an affair? Because when her husband pushed her a question if she had slept with her ex-lover, she could not deny and said “yes”. In that sense, she seemed to be a LIAR.

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Another point that SY calmly acted her sorry feeling at home when she said to her husband HW that “I did not do this to get a divorce”, I believe she did not think that her relationship with her ex-lover SW would yet end - as she did not clearly said to her husband earlier that she would stop seeing SW “from now on” but she rather said “for now” instead. How could it be that SY would stopping seeing SW as they were still working together as company partners? Until now, she did not regret or have a deep sorry feeling to have the truly 1st adultery and the planned 2nd (not yet happened) adultery … until she realized that her ex-lover did not love or care her as she originally thought because he dumped her later by requesting her boss to take her out from the project and ending their relationship.

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I mean, I also don't think that we want to, nor do I think we should, concede the point that the project and the stress are the issues here. For christ's sake, they have *ONE* kid. There are families with four kids where both parents work full time jobs (my boss's boss being one of them, for a kdrama equivalent look at Once Again). It's not easy and she faces discrimination in the workplace, but on top of her lover not making her schedule any easier (was meeting him any more stressful than spending quality time reconnecting with her husband? I don't think that adding a lover in the mix adds time to the calendar, not sure it's a productivity improvement.

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Not sure what I am supposed to make of the "love" claim from a guy that would cheat on his wife and the mother of his small children, lying to her face for half a year until caught. Does he respect her enough to leave her if he is in love with someone else? No. Does he respect her enough not to betray/humiliate/hurt her? No. Does he come clean? No. Not sure the guy knows what love is. Considering he stays with his wife, and that he did not break things off when he realized he had feelings for another woman, but instead made his lover into a homewrecker (actually, that's patronizing, I take that back: she is someone with agency, she made her own choice to be that). It's frankly insulting to see the word "love" uttered by this scum of a man.

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And, I am supposed to feel impressed in any way by her "shutting down" after hearing his well earned tirade? If anyone has a right to rant, it's him after catching her red handed, discovering that she had been lying to him for half a year and that she spurned his offer to spend time together to reconnect in order to be with her lover... and still has the gall to call him "honey". Scum.

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Even if he loved her, he still cheated on his wife and the mother of his small children. I think that he also told them he loved them. Not sure that's very reassuring if that's what he does to those he loves, but sure as hell the two cheaters are a match made in heaven, while the two cheated partners that would never betray their spouses, and unfortunately do not do so even after discovering the half a year long deception -until discovery, really-.

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Not sure how what they "meant" or how it "started out" innocent is relevant here. Completely besides the point. It turned into a half a year long deception. It did ruin their families. That was intentional, premeditated. Not "meaning" to hurt them is the same as Bernie Madoff not "meaning" to hurt the people he ripped off. Hurting them was not the goal, just a side effect of him wanting to take their money. This is besides the point: we know they are not having revenge sex, they don't care enough about not hurting/humiliating/deceiving the other person's family, as well as their own, just to satisfy a whim.

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Not sure what's the point of not wearing the marriage ring: they both know very well that they both have families, this is just pure evasion.

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The should should really have drilled down on that "for now" bit. I mean, she was caught red-handed lying to her husband for half a year. Is she really so shameless that as to suggest that she will be seeing the other guy again in any capacity? Right after having been caught on the way to sleep with him? The day after their anniversary, spurning her husband that wanted to spend time together instead? Telling that to the husband that just discovered her horrific deception, and has every reason in the world to not trust her? To be able to say something like that she would really need *not* to understand how hurtful and devastating her actions are, how grave and unforgivable... not a shred of empathy or respect for her partner, or of decency, but then again if she had any of those she wouldn't have lied to his face for half a year.

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Not sure what the show wanted to imply with the "I love her" bit. The guy is a philanderer with wife and kids that cheated on his wife with a married woman with a kid. Not only that, but deceived her for half a year until he was caught. In all this time, he did not think to come clean and break things off with his wife (which he should have left *before* cheating on her, if he had discovered he was in love with someone else). Instead, he chooses to have it both ways. Given how he treated his wife and children that he supposedly loved, betraying their trust and risking wrecking his family (and the one of his lover, people that did nothing to him), I am not sure that being loved by him is a good thing.

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With respect to "he is not doing himself any favor", I would ask for a return to basic sanity. As you said, he just discovered that his wife, who he trusted unconditionally and considered essentially perfect, lied to his face when he proposed to spend some time together to reconnect, preferring to spend the day after their anniversary sleeping with a married philanderer with kids of his own. Then he learns that she lied to him for the past six months and initiated the follow up encounter (apparently not giving a damn about the damage she colud do not only to her family, but also to his, people that she doesn't know, but that have never done anything to her, but ruining whose life ranks below satisfying her selfish whim (same goes for her lover).

The guy was shocked and immediately wanted to divorce, he is now on the edge and just finds it impossible that she would be so nonchalant towards the possibility of splitting apart their family. So soon after the event he is still very much traumatized and not emotionally stable, rightfully angry and hurt, lashing out randomly.

With regards to twisting her words, she is being evasive with her answers, he practically has to force out of her that she had been lying to him for half a year and has slept with her lover. Again, considering that she spurned him for her lover the day after their anniversary and he has just learned she had lied to him for six months (and would have continued to deceive him had he not caught her red handed -she did not come clean, she was discovered-), coupled with his previous unconditional trust in her (which she explointed) and him considering her essentially a perfect woman, the only light in his gray day, it's no surprise that he feels she is untrustworthy and treats her as an enemy. Because she *is* unworthy of his trust, and given recent events giving her the benefit of the doubt and the most charitable interpretation would be frankly crazy.

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selfish -> superficial

Basically, what I am getting at is that they don't hate them, but treat them as road kill. They don't hate them, but they don't care to hurt them to satisfy a superficial whim (or don't care enough).

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Selfish is the wrong word, I should have used superficial.

Basically, what I am getting at is that they don't hate them, but treat them as road kill. They don't hate them, but they don't care to hurt them to satisfy a superficial whim (or don't care enough).

Compare with the husband hating himself and projecting that on the wife's lover's wife. That is a different thing. And I think that hatred would be preferrable in this case, rather than the indifference that "you were not important enough for me not to hurt you".

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I found the suggestion of "understanding why she did it" insulting. Okay, that's something that could be addressed. But frankly, the motive is besides the point. Reminds me of a journal article I had read that used those exact words: the loneliness, the thing missing from the marriage, etc. might all have been valid complaints to address in the appropriate manner, or grounds for divorce. They are not reasons to cheat. For that matter, we see characters here that have been put through much worse: the protagonist, her lover's wife. They don't cheat (they don't even abandon their partners). They should. The wife beating drunk, or a philanderer like her lover, or herself for that matter, do deserve to be cheated on (was hoping for some revenge sex between the cheated spouses). Him being slightly inattentive might be true in and of itself, but we cannot seriously consider it a "reason to cheat" any more than we can seriously consider "stealing a loaf of bread" a reason for "having your hand cut off". There is no proportion. This cannot be an excuse/rationalization. They might be true. But unhappyness does not equate cheating. Again, her lover's wife and her husband have more than enough reason to be unhappy, and they won't cheat on their spouses (though shey should, as they would deserve it). There is simply no proportionality between an unintentional slight and a premeditated (her "not inteding to" is hogwash and evasion) half a year long deception.

There is another element to this, namely that her lover is married and has a family. She does not know them, and they *surely* did not to anything to deserve the hurt/humiliation/deception, so there is no possible way they could be factored into her "reason" (on the other hand, being able to do this to them signals a rather sociopathic lack of empathy). Again, surely they *did not* contribute to her decision to hurt/humiliate/deceive them, given that she did not even know them in the first place and they did nothing to her. She simply didn't care about hurting her, at least not enough to avoid doing that if it meant giving up on satisfying her selfish whim. This is an angle the show should have focused more on. It's not as if it's normal callously hurting people you don't know if you can satisfy your selfish whim.

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