Open Thread #34
by javabeans
So this week I was a good little citizen bee and served out my jury duty, which was a big ol’ plate of annoying. Not the jury duty itself, which is something I agree is an important civic obligation (the nice way of saying, if ya wanna be an American and enjoy its attendant freedoms, suck it up and serve), but the whole bureaucracy of the system.
This was my third time serving, but there are always new observations:
- The jury waiting room is like a black hole of negative energy, drawing you into its whorl with its overwhelming gravity. A roomful of anxious citizens do their best to make up excuses for dismissal, but the unsympathetic clerk has heard them all, so now we’re a roomful of disgruntled citizens.
- Making up nicknames is only one of numerous attempts to make time creep along faster — ultimately unsuccessful, but I do come with a list of names, like Miss Muffin Top and Mr. Half-Combover (what, does he only have issues with being half-bald?).
- And Mr. French Anarchist dude, as I have dubbed him, who snipes in a petulant, aggravating way to his father, who is there to make sure he stays, I think? He must be at least 18 but acts like a surly 15, and spends the entirety of the morning emitting sporadic grunts of adolescent fury. His father speaks to him in French, admonishing him like a wearied parent who’s given up all hope of his son being smacked by the Maturity Gods, and French Anarchist spews back in surfer-dude English: “You’re all such… sheep! GOD! We don’t even have to BE here, you know. You don’t even know how to think for yourselves. Just look at everyone, sitting here like mindless sheep, doing whatever the government tells you to. GEEZUS. Urnhgh!” Methinks Mr. French Anarchist is the guy who showed up to one day in Civics class and suddenly thinks he’s the voice of the revolution, this generation’s punk-skater Che. Well, I think to myself, I notice you haven’t stormed out, so I suppose that makes YOU a freethinking rebel?
- Granted, I don’t want to be there either, but we’re all in the same boat. And people really, really like hearing themselves complain about how they’re too busy and important for jury duty, and how being in court one day has somehow thrown the entire balance of their fragile existences into irrevocable tailspin. Which might garner them sympathy anywhere but, say, a room full of people in the same situation.
- All day I sit in that cramped room, trying to drown out the shrillness of The View, which bleeds into the shrillness of Oprah (I now know more about pregnant men than I ever wanted to know), which then gives way to daytime soap operas, which OMG I hadn’t realized were this truly awful. It reminds me of being a kid and getting that rare sick day, excited to get to watch TV all day. And then realizing that the only thing shown while you’re at school is offensively bad soap operas. Pyrrhic victory indeed.
- I have my laptop handy, but the battery life is down to about two hours so I put it away, saving its use for when I’m utterly desperate for the distraction. I realize I am now mired in boredom and slowly anticipating greater boredom.
- It’s truly mortifying to be witness to other people flirting. It’s one thing to be at a dimly lit bar, surrounded by alcohol and hormones, but in the broad light of day in a confined space? It’s the same brand of uncomfortable as thinking your parents have sexy times.
- Especially when two of them are both wearing wedding rings. Somehow I feel dirty to be witness to this scene.
- You know this is Los Angeles because the jury duty room is lined with signed headshots of actors — Harrison Ford, Kate Hudson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Weird Al Yankovic?? — presumably who all served here, as though to say, “Stars! We do our civic duty too!”
- Some people here already know each other and are on friendly terms. I think this is grossly unfair; people shouldn’t be allowed to come to jury duty with friends. We should all have to suffer equal amounts of the boredom hell. It may sound like I’m grossly exaggerating jury duty boredom, but it really does hit Sartre-like levels. It’s like traffic school but worse, because at least at traffic school we have the bittersweet consolation in knowing we did something wrong to deserve this.
- Day 1 ends with us being summoned to the courtroom at 4pm. We wait outside until the bailiff calls us inside at 4:30pm, which is coincidentally also when court gets OUT. We all file in, sit down, and then the judge tells us, “This is as far as we’ll go today. Come back tomorrow.” The district attorney smiles at the jurors but it’s one of those forced, creepy smiles, and all I think is how much pandering attorneys annoy me.
- Day 2 starts with another prolonged wait, at which point we get a call from the courtroom. One way to make a roomful of frustrated, grumpy adults jump up and nearly cry in joy? To hear the case was settled.
- I get my paperwork and leave, relieved to be off the hook, and yet I’m really kinda bummed that we were excused before even getting to hear what the crime was. It’s like we had to sit through all the painful parts, then were denied any of the interesting ones.
And how was your week?
SONG OF THE DAY
Yael Naim – “Too Long.” Lovely French-Israeli singer-songwriter. I went back and forth on which song to post, but in the end I picked this one for its chorus, which is one of her more eclectic-sounding songs.
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1
June 13, 2008 at 9:04 AM
You're a great writer! enjoy your comments everyday.
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2 candi
June 13, 2008 at 9:43 AM
lol, i love your comments! I've heard about jury duty from my teachers in school... i don't know if I should dread or resign to the fact that I may have to do jury duty someday, hopefully its not that bad unless im stuck with a complainer, but unfortunately there always seems to be one in any group
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3 robbo4
June 13, 2008 at 10:22 AM
I can sympathize with you, dramabeans. I've been called upon to do my "civic duty" six times and actually served on two trials. I've seen most of the stories that you've described, and a lot more. I've also had some cool one day friendships with a few of the folks that I did time with. All in all, it's an interesting study in sociology. It was better, however, when I had a job that paid for the field trip!
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4 shro
June 13, 2008 at 10:43 AM
i have yet to be a part of jury duty and i have heard how boring it is but i'm super excited.
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5 yelibean
June 13, 2008 at 10:53 AM
i have never been called for jury duty but i have friends who have and they all have similar horror stories...
and i just realized...javabeans is from LA! lol
*so am I* ^__^
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6 Sherrie
June 13, 2008 at 11:28 AM
You lucky duck, you and my husband must have a secret code the jury selection committee must like. He too have been called every other year. I on the other hand have tried every which way to get out of it. I have another couple of years of permanent "excuse from jury duty responsibilty" until my little one moves out of the house.
The only time I was called for jury duty, I too like you sat through the whole day waiting, waiting until the bailiff called and said "the case have been settled". Then I was excused.
Hopefully you will get permanent excuse for a while. Enjoy your week
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7 belleza
June 13, 2008 at 12:12 PM
"And people really, really like hearing themselves complain about how they’re too busy and important for jury duty, and how being in court one day has somehow thrown the entire balance of their fragile existences into irrevocable tailspin."
Yup. Don't they know that's what blogs are for! :D
The only time I really minded civic duty was when I was genuinely worried about my job. I guess I enjoy the people watching aspect of it. That and it gets me an excuse to catch up on General Hospital (Jason and Liz forever! :D :D :D)
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8 fogfan
June 13, 2008 at 12:40 PM
As someone who works in the criminal justice system daily, and who has dealt with wayyyyyy too many jurors to count, I want to thank you for offering your very honest perspective. We're more than aware how much jurors HATE waiting around with no idea when anything is going to happen if it happens. We really try to keep the waiting to a minimum but unfortunately stuff happens. And just so you folks don't think we court employees get off the hook, we don't. Even judges get called for jury duty and a few have even served during trials.
We totally recognize what an inconvenience it is for the public, but the criminal justice system truly could not operate without jurors.
What makes the waiting worse for us who work in court when called for jury duty is that we know what's going on behind the scenes. Especially with a particular court we've been called to. But I still encourage everyone to show up and serve.
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9 nixxochick
June 13, 2008 at 2:35 PM
lol...this is my typical experience whenever i have to go in for jury duty....
the only thing i do hate and have a complaint against is having been called in 4 times already and im only 22 :( whereas other people never get called in....i guess this is the side of me that thinks if i have to suffer a boring day everyone else should at least go through that once, lol
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10 gallivanter
June 13, 2008 at 3:05 PM
Oh gosh that sounds miserable. In my state the system is set up where about 80% of jurors are either state employees, or Boeing employees--so that they get their paycheck while on duty. Unfortunately, this, in my opinion, makes our court not as diverse as it should be. Every time I've been in the court room our jurors often come from similar backgrounds.
I am terribly amused that you've got the star signed photos on the walls. Hee hee. I think we've just got dead judges : P
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11 Jackie
June 13, 2008 at 3:18 PM
i agree
good writing
it was like i could almost seeee the room! I have a terrible fear of jury duty
I got called once but never even made it to the court room. Ugh it was so terrible. I agonized over it for MONTHS.
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12 OE
June 13, 2008 at 3:28 PM
I had the chance to ask Weird Al to sign a copy of that jury service poster, and I asked him if he really did do jury duty. He said yes, he was on a trial jury for a week.
Imagine what it's like for jurors who wind up on a panel with somebody famous. And then the judge tells them they're not allowed to say anything about the trial outside the jury room. Their heads must explode.
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13 j
June 13, 2008 at 3:36 PM
what's you take on the Dream Concert, (Girls Generation getting the silent treatment, & fans being harassed)?
also are you excited about any new dramas? (Eric's, Kim Sun Ah's or Gourmet)
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14 Javabeans
June 13, 2008 at 3:43 PM
I actually look forward to jury duty every time... and then I get there and I'm reminded why I like the concept but hate the actual reality of service. Like last time, I was a juror in a trial and thought I would feel all proud to do my duty as a citizen... and the process just disillusioned me further about why the system is broken.
I've actually been on the other side, too -- not as a lawyer but working on trial cases, and seeing why jurors are picked or dismissed. Yet more disillusionment about the justice process in this country.
Umm... my take on the Dream Concert? Well, my take on kpop music in general is, shall we say, negative. Stupid is as stupid does? I never thought much about Girls Generation and I can't say I'm surprised that their attitude bit them in the ass. But also: Korean (anti) fan culture in general needs a swift kick in the ass.
Next week, the new drama rush begins! So looking forward to it. I don't even care WHICH one is good, just as long as one of them is! :D
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15 bethany
June 13, 2008 at 5:13 PM
sorry...pregnant men? haha
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16 May
June 13, 2008 at 6:09 PM
Your posting reminds me that I am due to be called for jury duty...again.
Having been called to serve jury duty six times (like robbo4), both state and federal, your observations are dead on and made me laugh. It's not that I object so much to serving jury duty, I just wish they would give someone else a chance to perform their civic duty.
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17 judy
June 13, 2008 at 11:01 PM
you live in LA? might you know where i can purchase korean OSTs for a reasonable price? i've found some through yesasia but they don't carry some that i'm looking for?
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18 marcel
June 14, 2008 at 12:56 AM
this post is too funny.. miss muffin top & mr. half-combover :D i imagine it would be fun to be javabeans' friend..
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19 creidesca
June 15, 2008 at 3:10 AM
javabeans...your 2-day experience for your third time was basically what happened to me on my first time down at the Westminster Courthouse.
And I couldn't believe my luck the previous time I was at the Santa Ana Courthouse, which happened to be the day right after New Year's. When I requested for a delay in my jury duty on the form and wrote in for any day starting Jan 2, I didn't expect it to be Jan 2! But, nonetheless, I was laughing inside at all those college students who raised their hands before the judge asking to be excused because their semester/quarter was about to start the next week, and got excused for the day.. If they had only hung around for 2 more hours, they wouldn't have to remake an appearance at the same courthouse 6 months from then (the judge didn't completely excuse their jury service) and go through the same process once again.
I could have done what they did, but since my class schedule did not happen to conflict with the case schedule I was silent throughout the entire process. Made it to the jury box but was finally excused by the defense.
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20 ginnie
June 16, 2008 at 9:38 AM
Next week, the new drama rush begins! So looking forward to it. I don’t even care WHICH one is good, just as long as one of them is!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Javabeans, I actually miss you mocking bad dramas.
Witch Amusement was fun and memorable in so many ways.
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21 fogfan
June 16, 2008 at 3:51 PM
Hah! I thought you might find this interesting dramabeans. We usually get judges from various countries who visit our courts to observe the jury system in the hopes of implementing the same system in the countries they're from. So we have judges today visiting from....wait for it....South Korea!! I had the urge to discuss K-dramas with them and if any of them had seen Coffee Prince. But you'll be happy to know that I suppressed that urge. ;)
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