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This Week, My Wife Will Have an Affair: Episode 10

I’m amazed at the way this show keeps surprising me with its unexpected emotional punches, even this late into the series. Just when there seems to be a little bit of clarity on where our lead couple will go, and just when I think I know where the story is heading, I’m proven wrong. At this point, I have no idea what the end game for Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon will be, but I’m okay with that — as long as the show continues its deft and biting portrayal of what marriage, romance, and adultery look like in real life, I’ll be happy to tune in until the very end.

 

 
EPISODE 10 RECAP

Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon reconnect over some beer, and for the first time in a long while, they actually look happy to be together.

But over on the stocks forum, a mysterious commenter writes that he’s found out more about TOYCRANE’s wife: She’s a graphic designer.

Bo-young and Joon-young are on Joon-soo Duty again, and end up coming across a telescope at Hyun-woo’s house. It’s dated November 27 — which happens to be tomorrow — and Joon-soo says the date is his mother’s birthday. Bo-young tells Joon-soo that it will be great to have his whole family celebrate Soo-yeon’s birthday together, then she surreptitiously tells Joon-young that they need to work together to make sure that happens.

When Hyun-woo comes come, the two ask him about the significance of November 27. Hyun-woo has no idea and looks completely flummoxed when they tell him that it’s Soo-yeon’s birthday. Bo-young encourages Hyun-woo to bring home flowers and a cake, adding that Soo-yeon will return home tomorrow, if only for Joon-soo’s sake.

As they’re leaving Hyun-woo’s place, Bo-young declines Joon-young’s invitation to go eat, but not before mentioning how good roasted clams would be. The next thing she knows, Joon-young pulls the car to a stop at the beach. Bo-young accuses Joon-young of kidnapping her, but he huffily tells her he drove all the way to the beach for her, since she said she wanted clams. These two.

At the restaurant, Joon-young tells Bo-young that she once told him that roasted clams are best eaten at the beach. He thinks that was her way of asking him to take her to the beach; she, of course, denies it. The two argue back and forth, until two men from the next table chime in. They take Joon-young’s side, saying that Bo-young must like Joon-young.

Joon-young’s totally on board with that observation, but Bo-young is most definitely not. Then, a drunk woman at a nearby table also jumps into their conversation, loudly slurring that men are garbage anyway. Bo-young’s happy to have found someone who agrees with her, and the two take a shot together, kicking off a night of epic drinking.

Yoon-ki’s startled to find Ara at home — she’s returned from her parents’ house for their wedding anniversary like she said she would. After the two blow out candles on their anniversary cake, Ara hands Yoon-ki an envelope containing papers for his office building, which is now in his name. He’s at once uneasy and overwhelmed by this gesture, but Ara just tells Yoon-ki that he’ll do well with the building.

Joon-young and Bo-young adorably sing and dance their way into Joon-young’s apartment, thoroughly drunk and armed with more alcohol. This can’t end well, but they’re still awfully cute.

The next morning, Joon-young gulps his morning coffee like it’s hangover soup, and tells Hyun-woo that he actually woke up in his apartment this time after a night of drinking.

Meanwhile, Bo-young sits at Soo-yeon’s apartment for breakfast, looking like a lot is on her mind. She remembers that it’s Soo-yeon’s birthday, and tells Soo-yeon that Joon-soo did a lot to prepare for her big day. She suggests that Soo-yeon go home tonight, then adds that it’s going to be harder for Soo-yeon and Hyun-woo if they continue to stay separated.

Hyun-woo takes Bo-young’s advice and stops by a florist, happily picking out a basket of flowers for Soo-yeon.

Soo-yeon’s at the office when she receives a flower basket delivery. She smiles and opens the card in anticipation, but her eyes widen in horror when she reads the message: “There is no forgiveness for a cheater who betrayed her family. Your husband may have forgiven you, but I will never forgive you!” Okay, so the flowers are definitely not from Hyun-woo.

Her mind racing, Soo-yeon logs into the stocks forum, where she sees the post outing TOYCRANE’s wife as a graphic designer. Completely freaked out, she looks around her office suspiciously, and then her phone rings from an unknown number.

Thank goodness it’s only Joon-soo on the other end, wanting to know if Soo-yeon’s coming home for her birthday. Soo-yeon exhales loudly with relief as she assures him that she will come home.

Later, Soo-yeon’s mom group starts texting about the news that TOYCRANE’s wife is a graphic designer. One mom wonders if Soo-yeon might know her, and another points out how horribly the child will be treated once their identity is revealed. Poor Soo-yeon looks terrified as she reads through each message.

She’s super jumpy leaving work that night, and when she gets home, she walks in cautiously, calling out for Hyun-woo and Joon-soo. She jumps when Joon-soo emerges from around a corner and sets off a party popper, followed by Hyun-woo. The boys are adorned in party hats and enormous grins, and Hyun-woo even chuckles at Soo-yeon’s stunned reaction.

They continue Soo-yeon’s celebration with cake and gifts, which include a family picture that Joon-soo drew for Soo-yeon and a gold star necklace from Hyun-woo. Soo-yeon’s face is filled with emotion as she gratefully looks at her family.

Later that night, Hyun-woo apologizes to Soo-yeon for not taking care of her properly. After a pause, she starts to say something to Hyun-woo, but then stops herself, unable to tell him about the flower delivery.

Bo-young reads through the stocks forum, where a commenter claims that he sent flowers to TOYCRANE’s wife today. He even posts pictures of the flower basket and the receipt, which Bo-young notes with worry on her face.

Back at her new apartment and still looking incredibly anxious, Soo-yeon heads downstairs to take out a trash bag containing the flower basket. She runs into Bo-young, who immediately notices the flowers and asks if she received a delivery today from one of the online commenters.

Bo-young and Joon-young break the news about Soo-yeon’s online stalker to a horrified Hyun-woo. Joon-young runs through some options to find out the stalker’s identity: They could look up his current user ID, or they could trace his IP address (which is illegal) to find a location. As Hyun-woo agonizes over what to do, Bo-young tells him that Soo-yeon is probably the most shocked out of all of them right now.

Hyun-woo calls Soo-yeon and apologizes for posting his story online and getting them into this mess. He tells her not to worry, but Soo-yeon’s more concerned about how Joon-soo will be affected. Hyun-woo promises that he won’t let anything happen to Joon-soo or her.

The next day, Hyun-woo enlists the help of Lee PD to do an online search of the stalker, whose username is ADULTERYPATCH. The search comes up clean — it looks like the username is brand new, with no trace of other online activity. Outraged, Hyun-woo asks Lee PD to try tracing the commenter’s IP address, but he refuses on the grounds that it’s illegal.

Joon-young tries to contact the Cyber Crimes Department but gets nowhere, since they won’t do an investigation until there’s been an actual breech of personal information.

As Bo-young, Hyun-woo, and Joon-young regroup, Bo-young says that ADULTERYPATCH might be someone who used to post messages under a different username. She muses that people are driven to social media for various reasons, and that it’s easy to develop a god complex online, or to insert yourself into someone else’s story as if it were your own.

Hyun-woo reviews all the comments on the forum, writing down every user who sounds like the stalker — and there sure are a lot of potential candidates. He thinks to himself that anyone and no one could be ADULTERYPATCH.

While all of this is going on, Yoon-ki is carefree as can be as he drops in on another one of the flower teacher’s lectures.

Hyun-woo decides to write another post online, asking ADULTERYPATCH and others not to share his wife’s personal information with the public. “Please support my wife and I as we embark on a new beginning together,” he writes.

The responses are swift and pretty unforgiving, as many are rooting for Soo-yeon’s identity to be revealed. ADULTERYPATCH himself soon responds, writing that he’ll punish Soo-yeon in Hyun-woo’s stead by releasing Soo-yeon’s information tomorrow night.

Deep into her lecture, the flower teacher clicks over to the next slide, which draws gasps from the crowd — instead of her usual flower arrangements, the slide features a photo of her arranging petals on a topless Yoon-ki. Mortified, she hurriedly presses her clicker, but her humiliation continues as more incriminating photos pop up, slide after slide.

She looks over to Yoon-ki in desperation, but he’s not there — he’s already outside, looking confused as to what just happened. He tries to call Ara, but she doesn’t pick up.

Back at the office, Joon-young takes charge, telling Hyun-woo and Bo-young he’ll do whatever he needs to do — including tracing the IP address — to stop ADULTERYPATCH. He asks Bo-young to bring Joon-soo to Soo-yeon and to stay with them for the night.

It looks like Soo-yeon needs the company, as she can’t even walk down the street in broad daylight without looking afraid for her life. She looks so relieved to see Bo-young and Joon-soo, and embraces her son tightly.

For his part, Hyun-woo does the only thing he knows how to do: write a post online. He sends a note directly to ADULTERYPATCH, imploring him to stop, but ADULTERYPATCH replies that his wife needs to be punished. Hyun-woo writes back that this punishment will not only hurt his wife, but him and his child too.

When ADULTERYPATCH doesn’t budge, Hyun-woo loses his temper and replies with a nasty message. That gets him nowhere, so he pedals back, writing that he’ll punish Soo-yeon himself so that ADULTERYPATCH doesn’t have to. The lack of a response prompts Hyun-woo to write yet another note, desperately saying that he’ll do whatever ADULTERYPATCH wants him to do.

Hyun-woo quickly closes his laptop when his CEO stops by to chat, then opens it back up, looking unsure about what to do.

He heads outside for some fresh air, where he sends a message to TUNAMAYO, seeking some words of encouragement. TUNAMAYO responds quickly, but not in the way Hyun-woo expected: She tells him that none of this would have happened if his wife hadn’t cheated. At this, Hyun-woo yells and screams in frustration.

The flower teacher returns to her studio to find Ara waiting for her. The teacher is strangely arrogant when she confronts Ara, telling her that while her career may be over, she’s not going down alone. When Ara doesn’t respond, the teacher gets angry and slaps her hard across the face again and again, until Ara’s lip splits open.

Ara looks up at the teacher and asks if she’s finished — because if she is, it’s her turn now. Oh snap. Ara throws a monster punch at the teacher, sending her flying across the room. She next grabs her by her hair and smacks her across the face, causing her to crumple onto the floor.

The teacher starts pleading with Ara to stop, but Ara responds with a move straight out of professional wrestling, by wrapping her legs around the woman before flipping her to the ground. Before walking out, Ara stands over her opponent for a moment, soaking in her victory.

Later that night, Bo-young hangs out with Soo-yeon and Joon-soo, but none of them look like they’re going to get much sleep. Meanwhile, Hyun-woo writes another desperate message to ADULTERYPATCH, begging for mercy, but ADULTERYPATCH just deletes all his messages.

Hyun-woo wakes up the next morning to a post from ADULTERYPATCH announcing his plan to reveal TOYCRANE’s wife that day. In an effort to stop him, Hyun-woo decides to flood the forum with post after post, each with the same message: He, TOYCRANE, will forgive his wife. ADULTERYPATCH responds in kind, posting repeatedly with his intent to identify TOYCRANE’s wife.

Soo-yeon watches the battle between Hyun-woo and ADULTERYPATCH unfold on the forum, then starts typing. Identifying herself as TOYCRANE’s wife, she writes: “It’s okay if you reveal my information, but please don’t bother my husband and my child.”

This only makes ADULTERYPATCH angrier, and he writes that he’s going to post Soo-yeon’s information sooner than originally planned.

Hyun-woo calls Soo-yeon when he sees her post, but their conversation is cut short when Hyun-woo reads the latest ADULTERYPATCH post saying that he’s getting ready to reveal Soo-yeon’s information. Hyun-woo hurriedly tries to write another post to counter it, but his laptop battery’s dead, with no charger in sight.

He quickly heads to the study, but he kicks the power cord to his desktop computer out of the socket by accident. Restarting the computer takes forever, and by the time Hyun-woo’s able to log back into the stocks forum, he’s losing his mind.

He finally brings up the forum, then freezes in shock — it’s being flooded with posts from other users, all with the same message: “We forgive your wife.”

With Bo-young by her side, Soo-yeon tears up as she reads through all the supportive posts on the forum.

Elsewhere, the husband we know as a TOYCRANE follower and commenter angrily taps at his keyboard after reading through the latest messages on the forum. He’s soon interrupted by his wife (also another commenter), who tells him to stop what he’s doing, because it’s illegal. The husband says he can’t sit back and do nothing — he wants to catch ADULTERYPATCH. Oh, so he’s trying to track down the IP address?

His wife leaves the room, but returns a moment later with her own laptop — and ha, she joins in his efforts to track down the IP address, though she tells her husband that if they get caught, she’ll deny her involvement.

The two diligently try to hack the forum, but to no avail. The husband suggests an old-school method to collect ADULTERYPATCH’s IP address: They’ll send him an email and get him to open it.

The two quickly create a program, then the wife sends ADULTERYPATCH an email. To get him to open it, she’s set the sender name as “Wife,” with the subject line as “Honey.” ADULTERYPATCH falls for it and opens the email.

The outpouring of support from online commenters has successfully stalled ADULTERYPATCH’s reveal, and Hyun-woo reassures Soo-yeon over the phone that they’ll find a way to block her information from becoming public. After hanging up, Hyun-woo sees a new email — it’s from our hacker team, sending him the address they traced to ADULTERYPATCH.

Hyun-woo doesn’t waste any time and runs as fast as he can towards his target location. On his way, he passes by some of his regular commenters one by one, but none of them turn out to be the culprit.

Hyun-woo soon arrives at… his office building? What? He heads straight into the CEO’s office and grabs his monitor, confirming that the CEO is indeed ADULTERYPATCH. To the CEO’s surprise, Hyun-woo confesses that he’s TOYCRANE.

Hyun-woo asks the CEO why he did what he did. The CEO replies that he found his personal situation to be unfair — and when he read about someone else going through the same thing, he claims he just lost his mind.

The CEO tells Hyun-woo the whole story: He sent his wife and kid to live abroad, but his wife had an affair. Now, he says that all he has left is a wife who won’t return home, and a kid who’s like a stranger to him. When the CEO breaks down in tears, apologizing for what he did, Hyun-woo can’t hold back his tears either.

The CEO writes a final ADULTERYPATCH post on the forum, apologizing for threatening to reveal the identity of TOYCRANE’s wife. He writes that it was all a lie, adding that he only did it for attention. Soo-yeon reads the post and practically collapses from relief.

Yoon-ki’s on pins and needles as he waits for his wife to return home. As soon as she enters, he starts rambling about how his affair with the flower teacher was an “accident,” and how he was seduced. He trails after Ara all the way to her room, asking her to forgive him, but when she turns around, she bluntly tells him: “Let’s get divorced.”

Insisting that he’s sorry, Yoon-ki suggests that they talk again when she’s less angry. But Ara says that she’s not angry at him anymore, and repeats that they should get divorced. She tells him he doesn’t have to worry about the building, which is still his, and says that she’ll send him paperwork tomorrow. Then, she shuts the door on him.

Yoon-ki mulls over Ara’s words and decides that the divorce is not a bad deal after all, since he’d still be getting his building. In her room, Ara makes a phone call to a Manager Kim, instructing him to begin. Uh-oh.

Bo-young ribs Joon-young for not “handling” the ADULTERYPATCH problem like he said he would, while Joon-young protests that he did all he could. When the two decide to go get something to eat, Bo-young stops short just outside the restaurant, pointing out that Joon-young’s ex-wife is inside. She tells Joon-young that they should go elsewhere, but Joon-young insists that they go in.

Inside, Bo-young orders while waiting for Joon-young to finish chatting with his ex. When he rejoins her, he says he settled things — the relationship with this wife is really over. Bo-young just tells him to eat, but she doesn’t seem as unaffected as she pretends to be.

Faithful TOYCRANE fans Ajumma and Grandma are caught all up, having read the latest post from ADULTERYPATCH. Grandma’s happy with the ending to TOYCRANE’s story, and asks Ajumma why she’s such a proponent of divorce.

Getting teary, Ajumma says Grandma’s had a hard life because of her and her husband having an affair. She says that if Grandma had at least gotten a divorce, she would have felt better, and maybe Grandma would have lived a more comfortable life. Grandma dismisses Ajumma’s words, but back in the kitchen, she wipes away her own tears as she prepares a meal for the two of them.

Back at work, Joon-young fawns all over Bo-young at a staff meeting. This doesn’t go unnoticed by their colleagues, and they wonder why the two are being nice when they’re usually at each other’s throats.

As a response, Joon-young invites the team out to dinner, proudly announcing that he’s divorced. He keeps giving Bo-young little smiles while telling everyone he’s now a single “oppa.” Bo-young, on the other hand, looks exasperated as she urges everyone to focus on work.

Hyun-woo returns home to find Soo-yeon and Joon-soo decked out in party hats again, with another cake in front of them. Joon-soo helpfully explains that Soo-yeon forgot to make a wish the other day, so they’re having a birthday party do-over. Hyun-woo’s all in, so Soo-yeon makes her wish, then blows out the candles.

As Soo-yeon gets ready to leave, Hyun-woo notices that she’s folded all of his and Joon-soo’s laundry. He calls out to her that she’s a really bad woman — the worst, he says. “But,” he continues, “I’m even worse than you.”

He tells her that he’s sorry for never trying to fully understand her, and for making her feel alone. He says there were so many things he didn’t know, and for that, he’s sorry. Soo-yeon tells him that she’s the one who should apologize, because she was the one who caused their family so much pain.

Hyun-woo steps closer to Soo-yeon and proposes that the two start fresh. “I’ll do better. Let’s live happily together — you, me, and Joon-soo,” he says. Soo-yeon nods tearfully, and Hyun-woo draws her into an embrace.

But when he hugs her, all he can see is the face of Soo-yeon’s lover Sun-woo, which makes him recoil. Shaken, he takes a breath, then tries putting his arms around Soo-yeon one more time, only to have the same thing happen again. Hyun-woo looks totally confused and stunned, and stammers to Soo-yeon that it’s not what she thinks.

Soo-yeon looks back at him, tears streaming down her face. She tells him that she knows, and that she understands.

And back at her place, Bo-young stares down at a pregnancy test — it’s positive.

 
COMMENTS

There’s no way that baby isn’t Joon-young’s, right? It was clear something had happened between him and Bo-young during their drunken escapade, but I was surprised that it (probably) went that far. So now, I’m confused about just how much Joon-young actually knows. He seemed so normal the day after compared to Bo-young, who looked a little shell-shocked. Does he even remember what happened that night? Did they have a conversation about it off-screen? I’m dying to know the details, and I’m sure whatever happens next, it’s going to be entertaining.

This show continues to surprise me with its take on Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon’s story, as it throws in twists and reveals that really tug at the heart. I totally teared up when the online community stepped up to protect Soo-yeon against ADULTERYPATCH’s attacks — despite the terrible things that people had said about Soo-yeon over that very same forum, it truly felt like reason (and forgiveness) prevailed. In that same vein, I also liked that ADULTERYPATCH was ultimately outed by followers of the TOYCRANE story; all around, the best of their online community ultimately saved Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon from the worst. It makes me feel like there’s hope for us all.

The strongest emotional note for me came at the end, when Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon were on the verge of reconciling. I have to admit that I was a little surprised when Soo-yeon agreed to Hyun-woo’s proposal to start fresh. She did, after all, tell the world she couldn’t go back to him because she couldn’t forgive herself. That and the fact that we’re only on Episode 10 led me to wonder where we would go from here if our main couple were to get back together now. And then, the gut punch: that look on Hyun-woo’s face when he realizes that he can’t touch Soo-yeon without seeing Sun-woo. I felt like Hyun-woo in that moment, like I’d gotten the wind knocked out of me; then I felt Soo-yeon’s pain as she watched Hyun-woo have that reaction. It was one of the most powerful moments of the show thus far, and I have to give it up for Lee Seon-kyun and Song Ji-hyo for putting in such an incredible performance here.

I love that the show is continuing the story by having Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon deal with the very real ramifications of the reconciliation process. I thought the show might have easily ended with the two of them forgiving one another and moving on to happier times in their marriage — but it’s not that simple, is it? The show hasn’t hesitated so far in showing us what a marriage on the rocks really looks like, and I appreciate that they’re also highlighting that it’s not easy to move on from something like this, even with forgiveness and love. I do wonder where this leaves our couple — how hard will Hyun-woo work to power through this new hurdle? Is it really possible to forgive and forget? How do you erase the memory of the man your wife had an affair with, but not the memory of your wife?

Now, for our last couple: I’m trying to figure out why I’m not finding Ara’s revenge arc as satisfying as I thought it would be. Maybe it’s because I truly just don’t care at all about Yoon-ki at this point, or because the show took too long getting here. It could also be the fact that the show’s completely given up on telling this couple’s story in any sort of a realistic way. Just as everything about Yoon-ki’s affairs were over the top and hard to believe, Ara’s step-by-step destruction of his mistresses (and Yoon-ki, by extension) is similarly crazy and uncomfortable to watch.

Yoon-ki and Ara stand in such sharp contrast to the beautifully nuanced and human stories of our other two couples that it’s almost like they’re in a different show. I know that as characters, they’re not really meant to be realistic — that’s not the purpose they serve. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it, right? I can’t help but wish that I could just skip over their parts and spend more time with the rest of our characters in the episodes we have remaining. There’s so much more to mine there, and I can’t wait to see how we wrap up their stories next week.

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Oh. Shit.

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What I can't seem to understand is how Adulterypatch got Soo Yeon's name, address and occupation but not knowing that Hyun Woo is her husband and most probably -Toycrane,right?!
Oh, freak, I forgot this is only 12 episodes so it's finale tomorrow. Oh, why only 12 eps, I want more Ahn PD and Bo Young!!

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According to the show, looking up a username can sometimes allow you to find pieces of information that lead to finding that person. ...I don't know if this really works. Maybe, none of that information connected her to her husband?

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This episode was just amazing! A rollercoaster, in every single way.

The writing, acting, directing, everything was so on point that I froze in front of my screen for the whole episode.

I love the way they pulled a "Deus ex machina" in the ADULTERYPATCH storyline. It worked very well, and all the "unknow" forum users did shine in this episode.

Ah-ra's revenge was delicious, and I'm very curious about her next move.

And I know it's not the way to fix things or resolve this whole problem, but I really wanted that Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon have kissed or something. Just make out, guys! (just a fangirl desire, to be honest)

Now, show, with that little ending, I need to see what happened with YoungYoung couple! Come on, gimme the juicy stuff!

I'm really sad it's ending this week.

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I found this episode really refreshing because it almost seemed like an action-thriller, which was distinctly different in tone from previous episodes yet it stems very naturally from what has been happening so far in the show. It was very well-established and extremely well-produced as well.

I also loved the ending of the show where it seemed like we were going to get that happy reconciliation and then Hyun Woo pulls back when all the memories of the affair come flooding in. It's so real and true - forgiveness may be easy, but forgetting is not. And the journey to recovery for a marriage is a long route and many couples take years to recover after an affair happens. Kudos to the show!

Have elaborated on the above pointers in my blog entry:
https://kdramaanalysis.wordpress.com/2016/11/28/my-wife-is-having-an-affair-this-week-episode-10/

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am the first to comment.. .yey

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No, you're not. Ugly troll got lucky there on top.

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I will eat you!!

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LOL!

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I totally understood hyun woo wen he can't even embrace his wife. there is alweiz going to be this huge chasm btwn them since the cheating. yea he cld forgive his wife but forgetting won't be that easy at all. it's a good thing the wife understands too that cheating is not easily forgotten. I hope hyun woo can forget. but I personally am doubtful

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I think forgetting something that you've personally experienced will be likely rare. I didn't got cheated on but I did experienced an event that hurt me and 15 years later, I think I won't ever forget it unless I get old I guess but I think being hurt can have the same effect on almost everybody. In the beginning when the wound/s are fresh, you really don't forget and there's this pain inside your chest that really does that to you. But as years go by you forget some details about it but you still won't forget and the pain will still be there but not like when it first started. The pain you get from a fresh wound decreases through time but the scar is still there.

Hyun Woo forgetting on what his wife did is really up to him because we all react differently. It's what we do with our actions. These things would either drive them apart or make them do crazy things like revenge sex. Give them some time to maybe put it all out there and maybe in the future he may be able to become intimate with his wife without cringing but it depends on whether he still clings to that image of her or to the one he fell in love with.

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No, you CAN totally get over it and move past it! It takes work, no doubt about it, but if the husband and wife spend good time together before they sleep together again, it has every opportunity to be fine. Especially once the husband makes love to his wife again - they will move on. It's that first time, though, that's the tricky part - but it CAN work. Been there, done that.

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About our main couple- at some point I really wanted them together, but applause for this show for being so real, even if the other person had reasons, even if every other problem is solved and both spouses want to reconcile, it is still difficult to forget, nearly impossible.
Secondary couple- why pregnancy? Was it even needed? I loved how quite and slow their relationships progressed so WHY do we need pregnancy here? Bo-young isn't even sure she wants to start family, so now she will get one because she has to? Come on show...
Jun-ki and Ara- I don't know what I feel about them, and I am dissapointed about Ara, I dislike all those Jun-ki's lovers but the main one at fault here is Jun-Ki ....plus I agree that it is SO over the top, that their story feels more like a grapevine then real story of real people

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I'm okay with the pregnancy. It might be a way to bring them together. Their babysitting of Hyun woo's kid seemed like a foreshadow of this. Also, it could lead to Bo-young rethinking getting married again.

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Disappointed about Ara? You must be a nicer person than me, cause I was totally rooting for her through all the wrestling matches she won!

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as for ara.....she might be dramatic and all, but l say go girl.......I hope she serves her husband with ten times wat he deserves. the nerve of him.. arrgghhh

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My face at the end---> :O ----> :o ----> :) ----> :D ----> XD

CAN'T WAIT FOR EP11!

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Not going too long with my comment like I did for ep.9, but given that, I probably was the only one hoping to see her get exposed. Again, she's protected til the end, her image is left in tack and whole, while HW is exposed (admittedly he did this to by exposing himself as man who was cheated on to an online forum), defends her to the nth degree, and is left to investigate the whole situation while SY gets to stay at home and cry. She's forgiven somehow by the public (so unrealistic in Korea and I'm Korean and understand it's beyond any realism) through the online forum. She's still the sympathetic character. At the end, HW is the one to approach her for reconciliation (are you serious??), and admits his wrong. All she does is get to cry again and just come in for the embrace. She "understands" why he pulled back once the embrace happened. Greeeaat. Thanks SY. At least you understand something....

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The difference is she's known what she did wrong from the start and she tried to apologize but he wasn't having it and she already explained what caused the affair and her shortcomings (she tried to spread herself thin, she was keeping it all to herself). It's hard to apologize to someone who isn't ready to listen. Now it's his turn to see where he was wrong, and he's changing. It may seem that he's the only one apologising, but all he's doing is acknowledging his own part to play. No one is saying she's innocent, but we are just getting to the point where they will talk -they have to if they want to move forward- because he's finally ready to listen.
As for the netizens, I agree that was kind of unrealistic. However, she was more afraid for her child than herself. She also exposed herself as his wife by posting that they should leave her husband and child out of this. She's not shying away from her responsibilities, but he was the one who put her in that kind of danger so he had to be the one to solve it. Besides, anyone who knows him and knows he's toycrane will automatically know that she cheated. So, it's a double-edged sword. If she hadn't cheated, he wouldn't have posted about it online, and if he hadn't posted, their personal lives wouldn't have become fodder for the public.

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Totally understand this. I'm having major problems with the wife's characterisation. She still untarnished unkind hyun woo who has hit dirt personally n in the public eye bcz of the affair. I skipped though much of this society's bcz the whole internet drama was ott it was unbearable.
And if she gets flowers, doest he know who she is. Or the flowers are from someone else revealed tmrw.
And, WHO IS TUNAMAYO??

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Episode not Society. God auto detect has lost it.

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i was completely shocked by the ending of this episode & that rarely happens to me anymore hahah.
i'm interested to see how the series as a whole will end. but thus far i enjoyed the ride more than i expected when i started watching out of boredom!

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Okay, I dreaded the idea of a happy and picture perfect reconciliation because that would be so unrealistic in the circumstances we have. Sorry I doubted you Show!

As one who has publicly stated here in previous comments that I do not understand how the spouse who was cheated on could ever go back to an intimate and trusting relationship with the cheater, I am so glad to see that very dilemma presented here at the end of this episode. After reading the honest stories shared by fellow beanies, I've come to see that it is indeed possible but I still don't know how that would look, so I am intrigued with how the show will handle this situation and hope it is equally realistic and as heartfelt as the rest of this show has been.

And I don't mind the pregnancy trope for our second couple because the theme in each of our couples has been honesty with emotions (to self and to each other). I don't feel Bo-young is being honest with her emotions about Joon-young (or even about having kids) - to me she has always felt more resigned to being alone than staunchly convinced that that is what she wants. (Fear of future betrayal maybe?) She obviously cares for Joon-young very much but would she ever step outside of her lonely but comfortable life right now to actually act upon those feelings? I don't think so. So the pregnancy may be the push she needs to finally admit to herself and to him that she has feelings and wants a relationship, much like the forgiveness of the members of the message board let Soo-yeon admit she wants to be forgiven and accept that maybe she is forgivable.

Not sure if that makes sense. But either way, I loved the end of this episode and can't wait for the last two.

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+1 re: pregnancy trope.

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@DramaMama, even though I have not publicly stated what you have , I agree very much with your take on trust and intimacy issues in post-adultery reconciliation. But I have also come to accept that people in general are probably more different than we think.

My bro-in-law cheated on his girlfriend with some random girls (not the emotional kind more like physical kind) but the girl desperately wanted to hold on to him, and he was sorry to hurt her. They tried to keep dating, but he felt suffocated by her questioning eyes and outbursts that he eventually broke it off. I didn't like that he got off easy and the girl obviously suffered but hey live goes on and it's not like I will ostracize him for it. He tried, it didn't work. Should he have tried longer/harder? Would it have worked out? Who knows. I didn't like how he handled the situation but I don't suppose there is any better solution. In any case, it is their hurdle to overcome. I try not to judge, sometimes it's hard but he's not an evil person so...sigh.

Then I have seen an elder ahjumma in the family cheated on her husband (it was well-known in the community) yet the husband choose to turn a blind eye. They are probably just spouses on the surface but well who am I to know since I'm not privy to their personal lives. Maybe he forgave her and they are happy with their present situation.

We really don't know how people want to live their lives, and for me, the blame game plays no purpose at all. Is it the wife's fault, the husband's fault, the third party's fault, etc? I applaud the people who at least want to try to make things work, as painful as it may seem. Whatever the finale serves, I believe not everyone will be satisfied because everyone has their ideal on what is the best solution. Right now I am just enjoying this show that is so divisive and triggers so many thoughtful threads.

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I have been cheated on and I have cheated myself. Didn't break up though. I'm still with the same guy, intimate and happy.

I'm not gonna go into the full history of my relationship here. I just came to say it is possible to build one's relationship anew and be intimate and trusting again. Relationship will and must be different afterwards, though, which is something that most people do not realize and why I think so many people fail even when they do try to work things out. They really do try to get the old relationship back but that is utterly impossible.

I guess that changed for me is that I do not really trust my man anymore so much as I trust myself. What I mean is that before the cheating you never really think he could do it. It isn't even a remote possibility. Afterwards you KNOT it is fully possible as you got proof of it. So what do you do? You start agonising about it, where he is, what is he doing, he's not doing THAT, is he??? And that will not only kill the relationship but it will kill your spirit and soul, too.

What I have realised is that I do not NEED to trust him not to do it ever again. He could do it. I cannot be there watching after him 24/7. So I must accept this and live on. And things got immensely easier after I accepted that my happiness and wellbeing is not dependent on what my bf does or doesn't do. It relates to other things too, because before I used to take them as signs he doesn't care about me or love me enough and got really upset. Nowadays I KNOW he loves me dearly so I do not mind that much if he's late or doesn't remember wash the dishes when he promised or what not. And even cheating is a tad more serious, it still goes into the same category. People claim that you cannot cheat if you love your spouse and vice versa, but I have never believed this. And so I do not really even care anymore if my bf kisses another woman or even sleeps with another woman. :D And I do not mean I'm like A-ra here, she obviously was NOT ok with Joon-ki prancing around with other women and I would not be ok with Joon-ki type behaviour either. That is different.

Aaaaanyways. Point is, once cheating is done, relationship is BROKEN. It can be fixed but it will never be the same. It just depends on people whether they are hung up with what was or are willing and can and want to build something anew. And it requires both, obviously, one cannot do it alone. Also, a person with black-and-white worldview probably cannot do it if he/she's the one who got cheated on because it does require a lot of understanding and forgiving and seeing the grey in everything.

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Um... but how many days have passed since that drunken night? She is getting a positive already? Is it possible it's another man?

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No, maybe she took that like some weeks later. Why sleep with some other guy (and there's no other guy) when you got the best right there in front of you. They were waiting on each other. But we have to totally see what happened when they got home drunk that one night, right?!

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I wondered the same..but was thinking maybe her ex? How long has she been divorced??

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I was surprised at the quick positive on the pregnancy too but you can get a positive within two weeks of conception.

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A week after a missed period. Before that it's not reliable.

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Honestly, I don't like how the show has made HW take most of the blame. It feels like SY is not at that much fault compared to HW. I have sympathized with SY from the beginning knowing her reasons but I don't like how the show is not holding her accountable and is letting HW take all the blame.

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Just when I thought we were on a very wild roller coaster ride during the start and as we were approaching the end, I thought to myself,'Oh! This feels like the finale'..

But BAMMM!!! The powerful incredible performance of the almost-hug did happen..That was truly incredible acting there.

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And I think Hyun Woo does not even utter his thought out loud, it is all in his head, yet Soo Yeon knows right away what the problem is. Let's see if this turn of event will further drive her into her shell or propel her to work harder to reach out to her broken husband.

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I wish she will take the initiative this time to talk to him and repeatedly try to get him to trust her again. That's the growth I expect from her now that Hyun-woo has realized his failing as a husband. I won't always recommend broken marriages to get back together but it looks like these two still love each other, so maybe SY's penance is to take initiative in the reconciliation?

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Yes, yes, yes! I want to see her efforts front and center now before it's too late. He obviously would give anything to have his family back but perhaps it is her lack of sympathy toward his suffering that subconciously holds him back from fully embracing her again.

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Well, if you see the man who was embracing you recoiling as if he had electric shock, with a stunned and pained expression, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know what's going on.

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The ending absolutely threw me for a loop, and it has been quite a while since a K-drama has done that for me.

Hindsight is 20/20, though, so all the scenes of Bo-young and Joon-young babysitting Joon-soo should have clued me in that something like this was in the cards. Joon-young even jokes that they should "try" parenthood out together. And the fact that the show didn't resolve the drunken night immediately, but chose to string it out. Foreshadowing is your best friend!

Some people may disagree with using the pregnancy trope, and I hear those arguments (and agree in some cases). But I think it was the right choice for their situation. It will force Joon-young and Bo-young, I think, to confront their feelings for one another, whether they decide to have the baby or not. Otherwise, the two would have been stuck in the same vicious cycle, subconsciously pining for the other without ever acknowledging the reality of their feelings. They needed a push, and they sure as hell got one.

Regarding Soo-yeon and Hyun-woo, I get the feeling that Hyun-woo has made great improvements in his character development, by acknowledging all the things he did wrong in his marriage or was lacking in. I don't get the same sense from Soo-yeon. I'm honestly not sure what she could do that would make me feel that she has learned from her mistakes, like Hyun-woo has, but not bottling everything up and taking everything on by herself would certainly be a start. With only two episodes left, I'm not sure that's where we're headed.

And, ah, Ara -- hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ara is obviously playing the long game, and I'm so curious to what she is up to. Why did she give Yoon-ki that building? What is she going to do with it? Questions abound.

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Also, I kind of hope that the hacker couple makes it. They obviously used to love each other and have shared interests from what we've seen (IT and a child). They need to take a vacation to bond with each other, start focusing more on their son (he needs it), and sign up for some serious family therapy, but they aren't too far gone.

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Yes, Ara. Revenge. Her phone call to start some plan. Next week will Yoon-ki's new building have an infestation of locusts? Termites? Building safety inspectors? Debt collectors? All 4?

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"subconsciously pining for the other"?
In his case it's obviously fully conscious!

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I really do admire this show for taking us to all of the uncomfortable places. Usually shows with adultery theme (such as OTWTA) would show one partner as pretty much horrible and that they're really a mismatch thus adultery happens. That's not how adultery mostly happens though, at least not from what I've observed (from friends, family members). This is much closer to reality.

I'm honestly okay with any ending. I'd love to see them get back together and try to mend whatever broken pieces they have left, cause I think their marriage is worth fighting for...though I'm certain it'll be a very painful road ahead. The question becomes, would they be willing to do that? Sure it's unrealistic for the Knetz to "forgive" SY (if they can't even forgive Kim Bom for taking a prescribed depression drug, how would they forgive an adulterer? *shudder of the thoughts of scary knetz*), but b/c I'm not Korean, so I just wanna say "IT'S NOT FOR YOU TO FORGIVE OR JUDGE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" I really do wanna root for them to move on, b/c the problem is theirs and the solution can only be their own. Anyone else, oh heck...be damned.

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joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung joonyoung and boyoung

Thank you for reading.

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I genuinely cried when the netizens helped to protect SY everyone came together and it was beautiful.

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Here's the thing. If Soo Yeon is a "bad" woman - I mean like Yoon Ki type of adulterer. I wouldn't feel the need to sympathize with her. But she's actually a good person. A good person trying to be the perfect wife and a perfect mother for her family, while striving to be a good employee to pride herself with.

This show did an awesome job in showing that everyone - EVERYONE - can make mistakes. Even though you've never once cheated on your bf/gf before. Anyone can make mistakes.

So when I saw the online community coming together to protect and preserve what little hope is still there to reconcile and save the family, I got teary eyed.

I always thought that netizens are super unforgiving and harsh nowadays. They destroy lives without blinking. They can end lives with just 1 click of a button. All because they can. We sometimes forget our humanity when we're in front of our monitors. We forget what matters most.

Whether we are the victim, the cheater, the friend, the online supporter or friend - we all have our stories. Now this drama gave us an avenue to appreciate our stories. And for that I think this drama, though low key and unapologetic, is one of the best written and acted drama I've ever seen. I will always remember that powerful scene at the end.

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I'm glad this show is not afraid of exploring the darker side. "Happily ever after" is quite unrealistic in most relationships. What do you do when the heart wants to forgive but the mind cannot forget?
Hyun woo shouldn't ignore his feelings. He might think that since he has decided to forgive her anyway he can suppress his emotions when he touches her and that it'll be alright in a matter of time. From experience I can say that it'll only get worse to the point where you can get anxiety attacks just at the thought of touching your partner. Soo-yeon should think from his point of view and not get disappointed at his reaction because that will only make him guilty. Maybe they should take a time-out and just be parents to Joon-soo while being friends with each other i.e. not getting physical. They will definitely need a counselor and talk about it until it is out of their system.
Can't wait to see how they handle it!

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As much as the Yoon-ki/Ara storyline is really not that entertaining for me, I just screamed/laughed in joy when Ara just upper-cutted that florist lady. It just felt so satisfying to watch, despite it being so dramatic.

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To the contrary... I found Ara's scene so satisfying!!
I can't wait to see more of her and her revenge on the mistresses!! Final cut should be with Yoon Ki... Make that guy suffers 10000x and make sure he won't ever be able to seduce any women forever!!
GO ARA GO!! DA QUEEN!!!

*sadistic mode* :p :p

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I love this episode and found myself surprisingly moved by the side stories of the hacker couple and the elderly pair. My favorite scene does not make it into this recap, but it is the one where the hacker wife gets up and gives her husband a bowl of rice. That loveliness just speaks to me, the moment when two people drifting apart finally finding again that one passion they both share and that may be enough reason to save their relationship. This is why it is of paramount importance that couples continue to find the things that they both enjoy doing because once the last kid leaves home you don't want to sit next to your spouse and ask, "Who are you?"

The scene of the elderly women is so bittersweet in that it must have pained the first wife greatly to be constantly reminded everyday of her husband's betrayal. But yet it is this very same woman who is now her close companion in old age and we clearly see their affection for each other.

I felt a pang of sadness to be saying goodbye to the cyber aspect of this drama but boy the goodbyes have been so well done. But I guess we still have TunaMayo.

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Wait, could it br that Granny is actually TunaMayo?

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I went "YESSSSS" when the hacker ajumma entered the room with her own laptop. Such a cool twist. And I loved how their cooperation, which led to Hyun-woo 'saving' his wife, is paving the way for their eventual reconciliation - that'll be 3 hearts patched up!

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why isnt everyone mention superman appa being cameo in this episode?
i really surprise en happy seeing twins appa and rohui appa ^^

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IKR ! I was surprised there was no Return of Superman shoutout in the recap. I'm curious to know what Lee Hwijae & Ki Taeyoung's connection to the production team is.

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Me me me!! I had to pause and take a good look to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I still can't figure out their connection to the show though *scratches head*

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While I was watching the drama, I thought that everything was so smooth( they way whole things were unfolding) as if eps 10 is the last episode,, I was really wondering' Does this drama have only 10 eps like most Japanese dramas?' then Bomb! The last scene is not a scene with a big action or too much emotion that many k drama ends to create dramatic storylines. But this subtle scene with hidden emotion has more impact than epic action filled film. This is a great drama with great actors and a great screenwriter. Bravo!

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I cried when the netizen helped SY..
I cried the ahjumma's confession to grandma scene..
I cried when HW tried to hug SY but he can't :( ..

Moral of the story :
Always prepare a box of tissue

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Will be very sad when this show's ending! Quite the underdog because it was on cable and has low rating, but it's so good and realistic!

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Well, 3%+ for JTBC channel, its quite good..Do you know this drama had the high rating so far in JTBC drama this year?So dont worry, this drama gonna be well in Korea..

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1% is already high for cable ratings..

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face value trumps cheating ahahaha

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I'm both scared and excited for this drama and where it's heading to. I love that it doesn't need to throw in weird stuff to make people watch it-- its realistic portrayals still has people hooked, even if the romance isn't perfect. I daresay it's BECAUSE of the imperfectness that keeps people's attention.
SY and HW, and also their child, I'm still holding out for a happy ending where the whole family stays together, but I really (like most everyone here) want to see from SY's perspective more and see her change.
Also, for the pregnancy, judging from how the drama has run, I think it might be that they want to address the glorification of pregnancy out of wedlock, because that's another trope from many dramas that doesn't take a look at the realistic consequences. From what I've seen, though, I doubt I'll be much disappointed by whatever the ending may be ^^ I'm rooting for all you couples!! :)

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As we enter the final two episodes this week, I've done up a wishlist for the show to bring our relationships to a meaningful end:

https://kdramaanalysis.wordpress.com/2016/12/02/my-wife-is-having-an-affair-this-week-wishlist/

Can't wait for the finale! It's been such an exciting ride so far :)

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I re-watched episode 1 last night and notice just how much the character Yoon-ki has become a caricature of the Yoon-ki from episode 1 and 2. In the beginning he may be just as sleazy but at least he is a real character, a real person, a friend that Hyun Woo finds helpful for his particular needs. The production has sadly killed whatever humanity he has in the earlier episodes that by now viewers just want to skip his scenes altogether.

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You can forgive, but usually not forget. Forgetting means losing everything you just learned with that. As painful as the memory of his wife cheating is, he also came to terms of the fact that he did not do enough as a husband.

This stage is where they need the most work, and going back to a cycle is not the way to go. Both of the characters over-react with either giving all the blame or taking all the blame.

I mean, TV-time wise, the affair may have been a while ago, but healing process was pretty recent. They gotta try to hold back their knee-jerk reactions.

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I watched eps9-10 back to back so even if I agreed so much with the comments in 9 (re: Soo-yeon not showing enough growth and all the "blame" put on Hyun-woo), I couldn't comment then without knowledge of ep10 affecting my opinion.

Hyun-woo has come a long way from clueless husband to self-aware father, but Soo-yeon is still frustratingly closed off with the occasional honest moments. I'm glad that the show looks like it will tackle Hyun-woo's hurt feelings now because I'm hoping the responsibility will fall on Soo-yeon to regain her husband's trust. I hope she manages to get back together with him because it looks like they still love each other.

Honestly, I don't know what kind of penance Soo-yeon needs to do to be forgiven. I see some comments demanding here that she be exposed. But I don't think that will work because their son will suffer in the process. Unlike Yoon-ki who's remorseless about his cheating and seems to need external punishment (shaming, financial loss, etc) Soo-yeon's punishment is her own conscience. She seems highly introspective so regardless of how their marriage ends up, she will be forever beating herself up over this mistake. I think that's a more powerful punishment for her.

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I think the drama did well to highlight that forgiving and forgetting are related but distinct.
It is difficult to forgive many wrongs, especially spousal infidelity, but it's even harder to forget it. And the writers did well to underscore this fact.
However, it is not impossible. I hope this drama will depict this and give hope to many marriages broken by infidelity.

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It was so heartwarming seeing the netizens burying the ADULTERYPATCH's posts. I teared up too.
It was awesome seeing the fighting wife and husband actually working together.

There's more to Ara's revenge on Yoon Ki besides messing up his lovers. But it's still not that satisfying. We haven't gotten to see the reasoning behind Yoon Ki's cheating or maybe I missed it. All of his cheating has just felt ridiculous and over-the-top. In the beginning, his character gave a bit of insight to cheaters and some of their views. But he hasn't truly felt sorry towards Ara this whole time. I really want to see him break down and beg. But Ara should not forgive him.

And yeah, that ending. It was a shock. I felt awful for Hyun Woo. Really curious to see how they will cope with this issue and if they can overcome it.

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I am waiting for the last two recaps so I can read everyone's discussion!!! Please --> @chocolatte

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OMGG return of superman anyone??

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This episode also gave an important message to all us netizens, to not get too much involved in someone else's story and to be practical enough to not take decisions for others, netizens have absolutely no right to drive a family to the end of the cliff leaving no option out of it... this is my favourite episode of this series

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Like most of the commenters, I concur that HW has outgrown his many shortcomings and developed as a person, father, and husband. It seems wasteful and unfair that the writers of this drama have committed his future with SY again (what a fate!)
At this HW should be "rewarded" with a new virtuous, good, and beautiful life partner. The writers of this drama have failed to adequately address the issues of broken trust and forgiving and forgetting.
Perhaps, a few extended episodes or a sequel to explore these issues?

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Bo-young and Joon-young at the clam restaurant...the meta behind the cameos of the two men and lady at opposite tables...please share.

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This episode has. So. Much. Heart in it. From the drunken friends at the clam restaurant to the hacker spouses beginning to reconcile to netizens teaming up to protect Soo-yeon, there were so many moment she where my heart just melted.

I can't wait to see how the story ends, but I'm going to be so sad when it's all over.

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I didn't like this part at all. In the face of realism, we have this deus ex machina. It was emotional manipulation, a cheap trick. Basically pinned to the straw man "either you forgive her or you want her exposed to mob justice". How about neither. One can ask for forgiveness, but is not entitled to it. It's your right to ask, but it's not your right to get it.

To me, she is simply the kind of person that in those circumstances would be willing to break the trust of someone she claimed to love. This is a fact. It doesn't mean that she should be punished vigilante-style by a mob. It also doesn't mean that there is something that she can do to undo what she has done -there is no reparation possible here, she can't get into a time machine and not broke her husband's trust... she is an unfaithful wife, he a cuckhold, whatever she does in the future, she can't undo what she has done-.

I don't really like to have my emotions played with in a cheap trick to force a dichotomic view. It's not that this is terribly complicated stuff, or an unsolvable moral conundrum. It's simply true that there is a way to both say that she did something she can't undo by apologizing, that actions don't get erased with words (that brings to mind a Ricky Gervais routine where Hitler phones his victim's relatives to say sorry... not invoking Godwin's law or making any comparison, obviously, just a funny thought that popped to mind), and also acknowledge that this doesn't mean "she should be exposed to a mob because she is literally Hitler". But unstrustworthy? Oh, yes.

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“But,” he continues, “I’m even worse than you.“

I didn't really like his evolution. Mid-way, I felt that he hit a nice balance where he acknowledged his failings. He was unattentive. They both had problems communicating. This is a problem. It's not willingly, consciously, betraying her trust, humiliating her and breaking her heart. It's not lying to her for half a year.

Self flagellation and having a distorted impression of where they stand relative to each other is as much of an issue as ignorance of where he has failed. They are not morally , equivalent, anymore than hurling slurs to someone is equivalent to inadvertedly being rude without meaning to. One thing you did intentionally, the other not on purpose.

I don't like that the two are equated, because morally, and in terms of severity, they are very different, and they say very different things about the kind of character of the people we are dealing with.

Here we hear talk of "forgiving each other", and he even considers himself as worse, which is just crazy. He unintentionally ignored her, she hurt and humiliated him in the worst way possible, and intentionally deceived him for half a year.

The fact that he would apologize to her for being tramatized by the fact that she utterly betrayed his trust and slept with someone else is just crazy. This is simply not something a psychologically normal individual with a shred of self respect would say. While I don't approve of victim complexes, it is perfectly clear to me (even from the fact that the trauma evidently is such that it doesn't allow him to function normally) that there is a key point that seems to be getting confused and forgotten here. Namely, that he his the victim of the half year long humiliation and deception. And yes, he might not have been perfect in the relationship, and while she didn't talk up e he was not a mind reader, he should have paid more attention. But he didn't humiliated and lie to her for half a year. Intentionally.

Here, he is not her equal. He is the carpet under her shoes. He want to "forget" (willfull ignorance and self delusion) and self flagellate.

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