Just curious, but how are you going to do #3?

Girl, I'm with you there....I've been in perpetual singleland for a VERY long time...and I feel like it just get's harder with time. I'm in my late 20's and it seems like everyone is either in a serious relationship or married. I wish I would have tried to date more when I was younger, but I was so focused on my career...now that I'm done all that, there's no one around to date =(
And yes, I've tried EVERYTHING ..... I've been on more than one dating site, speed dating, blind dates and dates set up by friends. I've even given my parents an "okay" to set me up.

Either I have unbelievable high standards (which I really don't think I do) or I'm just destined to be alone. BLAH.

Sorry, end rant.

@greenfields,

It feels like long time, no see. You've been busy with Real Life. ;-)

As a person of a certain age who's been there and done that, I'd like to give you a hand with #3, finding a boyfriend. The following story is true, and only the names have been changed. Think of it as a parable. YMMV. ;-)

At the age of 29, a combination of events and circumstances prompted me to get into therapy. For a solid year, I put the focus on getting my head together, and benched myself from my already non-existent social life as I had no interest, time, or energy for dating.

I had broken up several years earlier with my first significant other, whom I truly had thought I would marry. In my heart of hearts, I had come to realize that that was not to be, and attempted to end it amicably. (We had started dating when I graduated college two years before he did, although he was actually a year older.) Ultimately I had to quit my gig at the campus radio station because crossing paths with him there became too frustrating.

As I came to understand myself better, I gradually realized that I would like to come out of my shell for companionship with an emotionally healthy adult human male. My only other criteria: that he have a good heart. That was it.

With that in mind, on the full moon in May, I donned my favorite yukata and a touch of patchouli, looked up at the moon as I stood in my backyard bathed in its light, and stated my wish to the Powers Who Be. It was like sending off a etheric message in a bottle.

In those pre-Internet days, my mundane options were: (1) go to bars and clubs (no way!); (2) religiously read the "Personals" classified ads in the local newspaper and see if any of them resonated (some did, but I didn't have the guts to respond); (3) go to dances and gatherings hosted by local organizations such as churches (did I mention I was shy?).

About 5 weeks later, I got a call from a girlfriend one Friday night after work. She wanted to go out and socialize, and needed some moral support. I was inclined to just stay home. She said, "I'll never meet anyone if I stay home. They're not going to form a line at my doorstep." I could stay in my comfort zone, or I could try out a new behavior. I relented and selflessly agreed to go out with her.

We had two options: a dance hosted by a local church, or a "rap group" organized by a respected local outfit that had been meeting for something like 20 years and was open to the public. We went to the rap group.

The site was an ornate mansion dating back to the Gilded Age of Wall Street tycoons. It now served as a church, which rented out the facilities to community groups. The upper story contained classrooms which were not air conditioned. The beautiful grounds included a lovely paved terrace and gardens.

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Participants were randomly assigned to one of a number of classrooms where a moderator would introduce the evening's rap (discussion) topic. Everyone took turns stating their response to the question, which was along the lines of, "Do you make decisions with your heart or your mind?" It went on for about an hour as everyone had their say. Then we hastily retreated downstairs for refreshments in the sweltering July heat.

After getting a snack and speaking with one person, I ran into my girlfriend, who kept meeting weirdos. The heat was killing me, and I needed fresh air. I made a beeline for the French doors to the terrace. The humid night was still, and after standing around in the twilight with my tootsies beginning to ache in my "lucky" purple high heels, I tottered over towards the corner of the building, where I hoped to catch a breeze.

A young man, who looked to be about 26, came over and said, “I thought you were a statue until you moved.”

There was no place to sit down, and my feet were killing me. I asked if it would be okay if we went over to the edge of the terrace so I could lean against the balustrade. He agreed, and we found ourselves near some trees. During our conversation it came out that he had recently taken a leave of absence from his programming job and spent 4 months traveling in Hong Kong, China, India, Australia, New Zealand, and Indonesia on an around-the-world ticket. He passed through Hawaii, where I had lived for several years. We had a nice, relaxed conversation. It wasn't his first time at this twice-monthly gathering. He'd attended a couple of times before.

He struck me as a sincere, down-to-earth person with a sense of humor. He was from the middle of the country, and was soft-spoken and unassuming. His voice was pleasant, and he had a hint of a twinkle in his hazel eyes. He was just a couple of inches taller than me, so I could pretty much look him in the eye without having to crane my neck uncomfortably to avoid staring at his collar bone.

He was no Robert Redford, but looked attractive, neat, nicely dressed in a suit, and well-proportioned. Whereupon the mosquitoes emerged from the shrubbery and had a field day biting my bare arms. I remarked that I felt like a blood donor, which elicited a chuckle.

The night was winding down as we made our way to the wrought iron gate. When we got there, he asked for my phone number. A little voice inside told me that he was okay. He said he'd call the following week, and we exchanged numbers.

Afterwards, I was stunned out of my shoes. I had gone solely to provide moral support to my friend, who spent the whole evening avoiding weirdos. I wasn't even looking, and met a truly nice guy. Then I recalled that conversation with the moon. Suddenly I felt as if the Universe had delivered a man with a good heart via FedEx. And it scared the pants off me.

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Epilogue 1:

He'd told me that he would phone me on a certain day. My schedule changed, and I realized I wouldn't be home when he planned to call. So I left him a message on his answering machine telling him when he could reach me. When we did get to talk, he thanked me profusely for leaving a message, which confused me. What was the big deal? It turned out that he'd often had his calls go unreturned, which struck me as just plain rude. Someone else's bad manners led to a conversation that continues 31 years later.

Note: He was actually about to turn 31, not 26. A regular baby-faced Kim Hye-sung. ;-)

We went to the movies on our first date. THE KARATE KID 2 was filmed on the windward side of Oahu. When I saw Chinaman's Hat (a famous landmark), I jumped up and down in my seat. He was amused. Apparently I didn't scare him off.

Closing thoughts:

Looking back on it, his first words to me sound like something out of a cheesy Kdrama, although it would be decades before I saw my first show. He said those words with the utmost sincerity.

God works in mysterious ways. Decide what your heart truly yearns for, and let the Universe know. Then get out of your own way. Just be ready to answer the door when the Cosmos delivers. ;-)

Epilogue 2:

I stayed in touch with a couple of mutual friends of my ex's. One of his oldest buddies was an anthropologist who had gone to Japan to teach ESL, and married a Japanese woman. We stayed in touch via the occasional airmail letter. I was awaiting an ESL teaching position in Japan at the time I met my boyfriend, but gave up on that idea. The anthropologist eventually brought his wife home to meet family and friends in New Jersey, by which time we'd also tied the knot. We got to meet his family, and had a blast.

After a few years, my penpal came down with non-Hodgkin lymphoma, and eventually died. His sister informed me of the funeral, which I attended with great trepidation. I was afraid I'd run into my ex. Sure enough, in the packed church, I spotted him sitting a couple of rows ahead of me, and made myself as invisible as possible.

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- continued -

The funeral Mass was followed by a repast at a catering hall. I hadn't driven around in the area since parting company with my ex, and got lost. Eventually I found the place, and was one of the last to arrive. I grabbed the first seat I saw. There, across the round table from me, was another of my ex's old buddies, who looked at me and said, “That face. I recognize that face.” To his right, my ex was sitting beside him. I looked up, smiled, and said, “Hi, Jim. Hi, Bob.”

Thanks to the deceased, we got the opportunity to bury the hatchet. That chance encounter was something that I could not have engineered if I'd tried to. After coming to understand myself, I was able to understand where my ex was coming from, and we mended fences. We kept on talking until he died of the effects of juvenile diabetes at the age of 48.

I am forever grateful to our old buddy, who in death brought us back together and gave us one more chance to forgive ourselves and each other.

PS: Blessings on your quest, greenfields.

With warmest aloha,
PakalanaPikake

Welcome! Glad you could join us!

Welcome 🤗🤗 hope you enjoy it here!

If you stick to this lovely community, next year around this time you'll be glad for dramabeans. Welcome 💜

Welcome! *rolls out the welcome mat* Hope you stay around for a while. I've been here for 44 weeks!

🎊🎉welcome to DB!🎉🎊

Beanies are interested, full of information, friendly and generous :)

Hahahaha! *high five* on law school, post-uni anxiety, graduating soon and no idea what to do with life.

As your sunbae, my only advice is to definitely do something. Anything. Whether it's law or not - more school, swtich to journalism, writing, theatre, music, freelance, whatever. Don't sit at home doing nothing. Work. Start with law if that's all you know. If you hate it, quit once you've found something else you want to do and figured out a way to get started doing it. That's all.

An idle mind really is the devil's workshop.

Welcome to OT!

You don't live your "life". That is probably overwhelming to even consider.

You live in the "now". Today! Do small things, use your judgement to make decisions and allow yourself to fail and make mistakes along the way. Learn by critical observation and reflection but don't get stuck in the past.

I don't like the expression "live your passion" since it presupposes we have a passion or we introspect ourselves to death trying to understand what "passion" is or feel bad for not having one. Instead, find out what you're good at (objectively), do it and get better at it. You'll learn to love it.

Fighting!

I dropped Temperature of Love halfway cuz I ran out of time and was watching the other more interesting dramas. Still wondering if I should finish it

I couldn't finish TOL either, even my love for the two leads couldn't get me there.

I like Black knight so far. It seems so romantic. The atmosphere, osts, mystery...etc reminds me the Vampire knight. I even find here Kim Rae Won is beautiful as Kaname LOL.

Having an ok week here.

Sorry to hear that you won't have a car available.

Hello back at you!

my week was a bit tiresome and extra busy at work but looking forward to the coming weeks already gets me sane

I only finished 13 new dramas this year. 31 overall, but most of them are old drama. I was in hiatus from watching asian drama for a very long time, so there are many dramas to cath up.

This year my top three are:
Live up to your name, Dr. Heo
Forest of Secret
I actually want to say Because This is My First Life, but later episodes really put me off. So the third position I'd give to Tunnel.

I'm glad that you are safe! Seeing people here lost their homes, animals, farms etc breaks my heart 😭🙏🏽.
I'm currently in Orange County but far enough from the fire. We don't even smell the smoke from here even though it's pretty windy. This has been the scariest thing I've ever witness in my entire life. The sight of it is like from a movie.

"The Santa Ana wind" or "The Santanas" as the locals originally called it is just fanning this fire and now we are getting more small fires in nearby counties.

I too have a lot to be grateful for!

I loved reading this! And to all my SO-cal beanies, I hope you all are safe as well!

Your husband seems like our oppass from any good drama. Lucky you!

It's too soon for end year graces, stop it! 😊 But one should always be grateful for good things she has. Than you for some tips on dramas and movies. I also 💙 Witness for the Prosecution, it has superb script and great actors.

Train to Busan is last year though

My top three by grade /quality are Chicago Typewriter, Avengers Social Club and Save me. By addiction or obsessiveness they are Suspicious Partner (hard to let go of the office meetings and Captain and such), Strongest Deliveryman (got addicted to Dimples and Go Won Hee) and School 2017 (there was never enough). By satisfaction (as to, from beginning to end I can agree and accept everything): Miss Perfect, Circle, The Package. By cuteness and romance: Radiant office (so tender, so careful, so considerate!), Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (so devoted, so unwavering!) and Live up to your name (so Omg-Kim-Nam-Gil-Why-You-So-Intense-I-Cant-Breathe-But-Please-Dont-Poke-Needles-In-Me-Just-Keep-Up-The-You-Know). So, almost all my dramas Hit The Top (LOL).

and of course Su Ji and Mr Ma - I haven´t learned the names of the actors but I should write about them and list them just so that there is an article to remind me of it.

Hiiiii have you seen Mystery Queen? (Park Byung-eun was great in that too)

Hmm? But love was never fair.

And some relationships just go through too much to the extent that both parties cannot fall back in love with each other. Life's just like that.

Haven't finished it either, but I only have the last two episodes left. I think it's the time that has passed since the miscarriage et al. Its been over a decide right? In the drama. Times heals all wounds, including Se Hee's, without him even realising it.

LOL about the ramen! And I don't see why you couldn't have a Mr. Ma! There's lots of these types of funny guys around--you just have to look past the exterior sometimes!

I dropped it right around the same point.
I really tried to get into the pairing but I just couldn't...I wanted Ji Ho to be more head strong and I was tired of Se-hee being too tsundere. I also feel like they had more chemistry off screen than on screen.

Mr Ma is such a reliable fortress of support and played so charmingly, plus he does musical number(s) - one in the drama but I am sure there are more we didn´t get to see that were meant only for Su Ji. there has to be with this guy.

Hahaha, that sounds so cute.

In the end, sometimes the only sorry we need is sorry for the harsh words or actions made when angry. There might not have been any fault at all, because opinions can be different and there's always lots of ways to skin a cat (although I don't wish to know any).

Hahaha this is so cute. I was going to comment on how awesome Forest of Secrets is, but then I decided your real life is far more awesome. :) Yay for Goblin gift exchange!

Hugs can cure anything :)

I always look forward to reading your stories with your hubby on OT.

FOS was good but not great for me, I think I'm in the minority on that one though.

MBC is killing us viewers with the best goodies.

Of the dramas you listed here, I've only watched Black Knight. It just started this week so many of us here are still trying to figure out what it's all going to be about. It's a little mysterious with a bit of a fantasy element to it. We'll see what happens.

Black Knight - well the scenery and mysterious dream sequences are worth experiencing if nothing else. Enjoying the slow reveal (for now) and the enigmatic characters and their motivations. It is not everyone's cup of tea especially if a viewer requires more cut and dried - good guys and bad guys upfront. But the sense of mystery is very well done and it has the makings of an "epic" romance line. I suspect it will be a slower paced story.

Doubtful Victory - more of a mindless watch for me. If you accept the premise, the plotholes and sometimes irrational behavior, the action and story is pretty fast paced. It doesn't do anything for me when it tries to slow down and bring in the typical korean drama emotional manipulation/pitiful back story/fated sweethearts/super villain line. If you're short of time - then this wouldn't be something to start watching, you're not missing much.

Ah... I used to torture myself with that MV too. (But I got obsessed because of Song Jaerim.)

I agree. I never got the vibe that the h cared for the H romantically but instead just saw both him and the OM as really good friends.

Overall, the only part of this drama that I enjoyed was the romance between the Policeman and the Stewardess (too bad they didn't have more screen time).

I’ve just finished it too. Made me wonder how their depiction of sexual harassment in the workplace influences wider Korean society. I mean, the three women talking about SooJi in the toilet - surely the watching demographic for this series would include working women, and the wives of working men. I hope this drama influences workplace attitudes for the better. (Perhaps a vlog topic one day - what positive impact does kdrama have on Korean societal attitudes)

ditto! we have a TV show here that reveals issues that are not often publicly discussed and forces them out in the open through re-enactment, after which there is a discussion and call-in. and it feels like this drama was almost semi-journalistic like that. I was almost expecting them to run a poll at the bottom of the screen like "what´s your opinion on this?" and posting tweets on the matter in the right bottom corner (heck, why don´t dramas actually do that - live tweets?)

A mention of #OTWOL deserves a reply and a like.

Hmmm, that's right. OTWOL and BTIMFL have similarities. Both were excellent at tackling real life.

I would rate it 8/10 for the first 14 episodes but 6/10 for the whole series. I really didn't like the ending.

That would have been fun! I wonder how many entries get submitted. I sent one in this time too and it wasn't chosen. I wondered how much competition there was. Your cartoon should have made it!

That's a shame but could you post some of your cartoon versions? I'd love to see them. :)

This is sweet. Good luck in 🎓 and 💜

Wow. Definitely some kdrama moments. Good luck with exams and "A".

Your kdrama life is becoming interesting! ..... Let's see what happens in the next "episode". 😉

Good luck with everything!

You might want to consider submitting this for Name That Drama, which I don't recall seeing for a while. It used to appear pretty regularly. Try emailing it via the Contact Us link at the bottom of this page. But with the Year in Review features in the works, the DB minions might already have their hands full for a spell. ;-)