30

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

Change is afoot already as our leads start to make tiny ripples in each other’s lives. As our hero begins to question his beliefs about non-belonging, our heroine gains strength and comfort from his presence. The story remains slight and stretched-out, but amidst the quiet moments, there may be the smallest signs of trouble.

 
EPISODES 3-4

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

“Because I can’t hear footsteps approaching, I must always keep people at a safe distance.” Jin-woo’s thoughts keep us rooted in his perspective for much of these episodes. When he tells us that he keeps people at a distance, we see that it’s less about protecting himself and more about being thoughtful toward others. And yet, there’s a refrain here of Jin-woo calling himself “rude.”

He’s rude because other people misunderstand him when they don’t know he’s deaf. He’s rude because people are forced to come to the door if he knocks, rather than just calling through the door in response. He’s rude because he zones out and misses what people are saying. All of this he tells us from a place of isolation (“a very deep sea”), feeling like he’s on the outside of something that everyone else is a part of — and worse, it’s something he can’t control. But by the end of these episodes, he starts to question how much is circumstance and how much is his own responsibility.

We learn that Jin-woo was raised in an orphanage and lost his hearing when he was seven, due to a high fever. He learned sign language from the orphanage director, whom he’s still close with, and that’s also where he met his best friend, HONG KI-HYUN (Heo Joon-seok) — the bar owner he hangs out with regularly.

We get a tip that perspective shifts are coming when Ki-hyun says that Jin-woo is kind but cold. He closes himself off, unwilling to give or receive anything from anyone. Ki-hyun implants the idea that Jin-woo feels like he doesn’t belong, in part, because he doesn’t try to connect.

We see this in action when Mo-eun invites Jin-woo to another concert, since they missed the last one. He says no, adding that he can enjoy music but he doesn’t like it. Mo-eun looks a bit embarrassed but then suggests they go see paintings instead. He tells her that he’s grateful that she saved him from the fire in Jeju, and because of it, he would be there for her if she needs him. But, she should enjoy good things with someone else. “Someone to be comfortable with and who’s a good match for you.” Ouch.

Their conversation is interesting because it’s quite a long scene, and it’s just two people sitting at a table, one of them writing in a notebook (in what feels like real time), and then turning the book so the other can read it. Back and forth, over and over, they pass the notebook, until what needs to be said is said. By the end, it feels like he’s written her a rejection letter. And the pain of it lies in how tense the scene is while waiting and wondering what he’s going to write.

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

The story moves on to Mo-eun’s perspective and we see her struggling to achieve her acting dreams. In a brutal sequence, she’s offered a one-line role in a film, where she has booze dumped over her head and is slapped in the face. They roll through take after take — and the slaps are real. It’s horribly demeaning, but she suffers through it with the hope that it’s the start of something in her career. Like last week when we saw Jin-woo demeaned by the police, it’s frustrating to watch and puts us right in the pain of our character.

After the shoot, Mo-eun is upset and Jin-woo is the first person she wants to contact. He doesn’t respond to her texts, though, since he’s been taking some days off and avoiding his phone while mourning the death of a child from his former orphanage. But as Mo-eun sadly stumbles home, she finds him outside her house (he received her texts after all), and pulls him into a back hug before letting out some cathartic tears. Afterward, she tells him a little about what happened, but just seeing him has made her feel better. She goes home lighter than she was before.

The next time they see each other at the museum (where Mo-eun is also working part-time now as a guide), Jin-woo admits he’s not sure what she said that night in front of her house. It was dark and she talked fast. He couldn’t read her lips well, but he tried. Mo-eun thanks him for trying to listen and for doing his best. And it’s this response that catalyzes the change that’s coming in Jin-woo’s thinking.

They continue their conversation, using a translator on his phone that turns her words into text so he can read them. When the phone dies, leaving them unsure of what’s just been said, Jin-woo wants to know if it’s frustrating for Mo-eun that he can’t hear. She says she feels understood by him, so sometimes she forgets that he can’t hear. Then she adds that it must be hard for him too, since her sign language isn’t very good.

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

Jin-woo thinks back on this conversation with Mo-eun while talking to Ki-hyun. Because he’s thinking, rather than looking at Ki-hyun’s hands, he realizes he’s just missed what Ki-hyun said. He narrates that this kind of thing happens often, but he doesn’t want to be inconsiderate by asking people to repeat every little thing they say, so he smiles and nods even if he hasn’t understood.

But then, he remembers Mo-eun thanking him for listening and trying to understand her. It’s never occurred to him before that he could be thanked for trying to listen. “All this time, what have I drawn the line for? Whom have I tried to distance myself from? Maybe it’s not just that I can’t hear. Maybe I’ve only tried to listen closely to what I wanted to hear.” Jin-woo is rethinking things because of what Mo-eun said, but I think it’s also because she’s someone that he wants to listen to.

Later on, Mo-eun gets a big break when an actress is injured and Mo-eun replaces her in a stage play that’s going live that very night. She’s been acting for film, not live performances, and she’s nervous beyond belief. We see her go out on stage alone, and as soon as the lights hit her, she freezes. She’s looking out at the audience, paralyzed, until she spots Jin-woo (whom she’s texted at the last minute to invite). Jin-woo signs to her from his seat: “You’ll do a good job. I believe in you.” And then he gives her a little nod as our episodes end for the week.

Whoa. That last scene gave me chills. I love how they can communicate at that depth, but at that distance. Here we see the first signs of change in both of them, with Mo-eun strengthened and comforted by him so she can move forward on stage with her acting dream. And after Jin-woo’s tiny epiphany about his own role in the barrier between him and the world, it’s a big step for him to show up for her and be the one to convey the comforting words.

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

There is a lingering possible problem hiding in the background, though. We’ve been introduced to a long-time family friend of Mo-eun’s, YOON JO-HAN (Lee Jae-kyoon), who the drama is spending a lot of time on. Jo-han is a songwriter and music producer and we’ve spent lengthy sequences getting to know that he’s just gone through a recent painful breakup. He’s the one that gave Mo-eun the concert tickets that she presented to Jin-woo — but Jo-han wanted to go with Mo-eun to the show when he gave them to her. He also knows her secret about pursuing acting, because that’s the level of close they are.

All of this has me very worried about a possible love triangle. The worrisome part isn’t that I think Mo-eun would have any interest in him. It’s that I don’t want to see Jin-woo on the outside any further than he already is. If Jo-han starts to pursue Mo-eun, sure, it would test Jin-woo’s insecurities, but I feel like he’s being tested enough. It’s just not something I want to see.

And on the other romance front, we’ve got an enemies-to-lovers side story in the works with boy-crazy Ji-yoo signing up for a gym membership because she heard about the hot new trainer — only to discover it’s Mo-eun’s brother, Mo-dam, who everyone is raving about. So far their relationship is not that exciting, though, and a more interesting dynamic is the friendship between Ji-yoo and Mo-eun. Ji-yoo is a big supporter of Mo-eun’s career change and envies Mo-eun for being honest with herself about her life’s dream. Ji-yoo tells her to keep doing what she wants with her life, even if she’s bad at it. Aww, she’s a good friend.

These episodes gave me a lot to chew on, and I love how the themes of non-belonging and feeling like an outsider are so relevant and resonant. The drama isn’t taking anything away from Jin-woo’s difficult circumstances by telling him that he’s not alone. And I’m charmed by the direction it’s headed, giving Jin-woo the onus — not as blame, but as power. I’ll be mulling this over until next week, when we see where this lovely story takes us.

Tell Me That You Love Me: Episodes 3-4

 
RELATED POSTS

Tags: , , , , ,

30

Required fields are marked *

This is honestly my one of favourite drama airing rn :)

It started off positive, with the two *communicating* and clearing up why he stood her up. Then it became so tragic. I felt so bad for Mo-eun this week! She looks so disappointed he didn't come in for coffee, she was desperately trying to get him to go *anywhere* with her, and then she gets politely rejected via notebook.
Later on, there's the brutal scene with the gig she was so excited for... Her face was *so* red from the repeated slaps, it looked so dehumanizing.

Shin Hyun-bin is genuinely such a good actress and she solidified that idea for me with these two episodes. Her 'trying to be upbeat while being on the verge of tears" voice when she's on the phone with her mom, her face crumpling as she holds onto Jin-woo... Very moving and amazing acting.

I can understand why Mo-eun opens up to Jin-woo. The man has the most understanding, gentle face ever, with very non-judgemental vibes. He should have been a therapist tbh.

I was cheering when he showed up to her performance and gave her that encouragement. And yes, it's not a kdrama if there's no romantic umbrella scene but these two have so much quiet chemistry, it was really sweet. I look forward to Jin-woo slowly bringing down his walls and Mo-eun gaining confidence through each other's support.

Yes, there's two storm clouds on the horizon. The inevitable love triangle with Johan, who really annoyed me this episode, and the angsty reveal about what exactly went down with Jin-woo and his ex in college. We saw the drunk gallery guy show up and cruelly blame Jin-woo for happened to his ex in the fire. I'm surprised the recap didn't mention this.

10
7
reply

Required fields are marked *

I love Ji-yoo as a character, she is such a wholesome friend to Mo-eun. But as always, I'm hoping the actress gets a lead role one day, she always kills it.

3
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Ji-yoo is excellent, the kind of bestie we would all like. I agree, the actress is amazing and certainly steals the scenes. I was really happy we got to see more of her in these episodes.

3
reply

Required fields are marked *

I'm with you Dylan, this is also one of my favourite dramas airing now.

4
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thank you for bringing up that umbrella scene. It is one of the BEST. Something about it transcends time and space. That scene is just iconic. We have 2 awkward people under the same umbrella, trying to communicate through sign language and made funny mistakes along the way (without knowing ofc at that time, hence strange face from the other). The scene was acted so well because even I can't do sign language, I could see it very CLEARLY from the ML's face that the FL's sign was in some way wrong. 💕

7
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

I really did a double take when the subtitles said she was talking about confessing! I was like, “wow, this woman is so brave, we love to see it” + “love confession by ep? They’re spoiling us”

I respect Jin-woo for having the grace to laugh at her lil mistake *after* he’s already walked away.

2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I agree with you about SHB's acting skills. I think she is especially good at portraying vulnerability and gentleness/kindness. If I remember correctly, I think she gave off similar vibes in Doctor Playlist. Here, she makes Moeun fully believable, drawing the viewer in to want to empathize, to want to understand, and to want to help--which I think is also Jinwoo's reaction to her. (It remains to be seen if he'll let her do the same for him.) Of course, it helps that her character is written so well and that she's playing off of a great actor, but I think she's doing a great job. I guess I'd be even more impressed with her as an actress if she can also play a really sassy character.

6
reply

Required fields are marked *

I'm going to pretend I wrote what you wrote, lol, yes to everything you said here.

2
reply

Required fields are marked *

Comment was deleted

0
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thank you for your lovely recap Dramaddictlly.
This is one of those shows where I wish the episodes were longer, I  love everything about it so much. 
The leads are amazing.
That last scene where she is frozen on stage, sees him as the only person in the room and he communicates. WOW, I applaud the actors, director etc for brilliantly executing the scene. It was so powerful, total utter silence but his communication to her seemed so loud. It made me cry, it was just so beautiful.
The sound track suits the show so well. 
Roll on next week, It's hard to wait for the next episodes.  

8
2
reply

Required fields are marked *

I cried, too, in that last scene. The emotional aspect of it reminded me of my favorite scene in ep8 of Nevillera. It has that impact on viewers. Perhaps @marcusnyc20 might want to check this one out.

3
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thanks @mmmmm for the shoutout. It is great when you have a memorable scene when everything comes together. ENA’s TELL ME looks like a fine drama but since it airs on Disney+ (and not available to me) I just hasn’t on my radar.

1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Did we learn how Jin Woo he became mute? He did talk with his friends at the orphanage at the beginning of Ep 3.

1
10
reply

Required fields are marked *

I think it was mentioned in passing that he became like this after he got a high fever one day. Nothing more about it was revealed. At least not until this point.

2
8
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thanks @mmmm! I got that part that he can't hear after the fever which is plausible for hearing but haven't heard anything about fever affecting speech. To paralyse the vocal cords, it will take more that a fever. May be more explanation is coming.

3
7
reply

Required fields are marked *

Why am I feeling that you're an expert in this area? 😁

0
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

Wow thanks for this discussion! It’s very educational and perceptive. There are so many things that I didn’t know… and that’s why I appreciate this space a lot. Thanks for the contribution, guys.

0

Okay. So I'm not medic expert. But i think he stopped speaking generally not because he lost is vocal cords in the fever incident but because he can no longer hear at all. So, he just stopped talking generally. Communication is a two way street - speaking and listening. If his vocal cords are fine, then he can only speak but can't listen. That's a one way street. And that is more excruciating cause it takes more toll on you.

There is this school in my locality designed for hearing-impaired individuals but open to all. There was this particular student who was only speech-impaired. Whenever they were playing soccer, he could hear them ask him to pass the ball to them, but that was it. He had to do a lot of work to get them to pass the ball to him, even in moments where he has the best opening to score a goal but they were paying enough attention to him on the field cause they can't hear his voice. So he's just giving but can't receive.

So if Jin-woo's vocal cords are functional but he choose not to use them after he lost his hearing, I totally understand it. The toll it'll take on him will be too much. That's what I think.

If it were me I'd do same. I'll only speak in critical circumstances. If such situations do not arise, in the absence of such situations, then I'm closing myself off.

4
4
reply

Required fields are marked *

Speaking as a partially hearing impaired person, you are right, and perceptive.

The reasoning behind this is: If I speak, they will answer, then I will not hear the answer, then there will be confusion until they either get their meaning across or they give up. The giving up is the worst part. That exasperated look of oh nevermind! is crushing.

So finsl decision is: Better stay silent.

7

We don't know the real reason the script gave Jin Woo why he doesn't talk AT ALL, not just in non critical circumstances. Yes, it could be psychological or emotional or even physical.

I merely said there is unlikely an organic reason from the fever for his speech impairment and that there might be explanation coming up why he became totally mute, not just partially mute as in he would talk in few instances like you said you would do if it were you. So far he hasn't made a sound even in critical circumstances, where it will be easier for people to understand him. I thought I missed that reason somewhere else. But judging from the way the story is structured so far, I'm sure that will be told to us somewhere later down the line.

1

@midnight I understand your decision. Do you not speak as well when people ask you a question and use sign language to answer?

1

@sunset125 No, I'm not at the level to need sign language, I use hearing aids that help me interact with people, but sometimes I can't use them for a variety of reasons.

To answer your question, if I'm in a social situation with no aids, I do speak when directly and clearly addressed, but I avoid eye contact as much as possible to minimize chance of interaction.

And in larger gatherings I distance myself from small groups talking together because if I'm present, it always creats the assumption that I've heard and know about a specific subject, and this has created a lot of problems for me in the past.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that any type of disability creats so many subtle habits and codes that are practically incomprehensible to others.

I'm not watching this show, but to speak when you can't hear yourself is very very very hard.
It takes enormous self-confidence and courage, because you don't know if you are pronouncing correctly, and you won't know if you accidentally made a mistake, and you don't know how loud or how quietly you spoke, and you don't know if you are sounding rude or polite or comforting or weird or what. You never learn current idioms, you never understand accents...

It's no use saying he should do it, it takes superhuman courage. I'm always amazed at completely hearing-inpaired people who speak aloud. They are heros.

8

People who are deaf or hard of hearing don't necessarily have vocal chord issues as a reason for not speaking. There are a variety reasons they don't vocalize to communicate--they are more comfortable and fluent in sign language, they don't want to make pronounciation mistakes, their vocalizing can get rusty from disuse making them less willing to use it, etc. At age 7 if he lost his hearing and then learned sign language, he also could have quickly learned the new language and have the other fall into disuse, similar to immigrant children who lose their first language in a new country. Jin Woo seems like a very sensitive person who doesn't want to be misunderstood and is self-conscious--so he might be choosing not to vocalize and instead, use communication that he is more comfortable with in interacting with people who can hear.

One really interesting example of vocalizing by a person with a hearing impairment is a contestant on the British Bake Off this season. She had a sign language interpreter but spoke a lot of the time by vocalizing. (She also appears to have cochlear implants.). However, one episode she was not feeling that well and also she was unsure how to pronounce some of the words that she had to use in the episode, so she decided to use sign language and have her interpreter say what she was signing so she could fully and more comfortably express herself.

I think one of the central tensions in this drama is how much Jin Woo wants or needs to conform to the hearing world to fit in or have people understand him and how much others who want to communicate with him should also use some accommodating methods. For example, at the police station, he should have had an interpreter for the interrogation (I was surprised they didn't even use a video interpreter for at least some of the initial conversations while waiting for the live interpreter.) Also, he appears to be able to lip read--people, including the FL, should make a better effort to face him and look at him while they speak if they want to be better understood.

3
reply

Required fields are marked *

I knew it was a rejection letter the moment they began having the conversation. But, I was more tense because while I knew what Jin-woo would end up saying, I just didn't know when he'd drop the bomb. So I was on the edge of my seat for all of that letter writing.

How to break up with someone without dating and breaking up with someone, Jin-woo taught that in this week's episode.

I thought he didn't respond quickly because he was seeing the messages but not reacting to them. So I think it was especially poignant that he was actually dealing with a sad situation at the time. But the whole exchange raised on question in me. What if Jin-woo hadn't showed up? One major part of me was praying he wouldn't show up because his phone was dead thanks to the mood that enveloped him after the other guy in the bar said some very not nice but things that gave me insight into Jin-woo's character. So he was just too wrapped up in the mood that he forgot to charge his phone and so he didn't get the message until the next day. Still, I liked the direction TMYLM took instead.

I was very sure that Mo-dam was Jaden. Poor Ji-yu. She wasn't informed. She should have looked before leaping.

Yo-han. I admire his work ethic. Interpreting the song without having practiced it doesn't give you a pass to just breeze through my song.
"Tell his manager to clear his schedule and have him practice. If he doesn't, I'll pull him off the song". I liked this sentence a lot. Holding the artist responsible for a job well done or not done well.
Haonha, he interrupted a dinner date Jin-woo was planning to have with Jin-woo and that's where I paused my watch to come comment here on DB. Why did he do that🌝? I hope his action sparks some fire in Jin-woo cause I was pained for Jin-woo. One of his fears was actually playing out in front of him. Anyways, I look forward to what changes in Jin-woo.

And the backstory about Seok-kyung, seems like some crazy ominous thing is brewing in there when third guy said Jin-woo hid behind his disability. I'll keep my thoughts wrapped until I learn more about this situation.

3
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Ahhhh I want to watch this! I finally found a place besides Disney+ that I can watch it! Saving for the holiday season <3
I've come to despise Disney and I refuse to give them my money, even for a kdrama. :)

4
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Episode 3 confirms that each lead has one best friend that can tell them straight what is wrong with them. Jin-woo’s orphanage friend who runs the bar knows him so well that he can make him smile, a rarity in his social life. Mo-Eun’s roommate is carefree but practical so she can help foster ME’s dream while keeping her grounded in the big picture of life. We learn that JW lost his hearing due to a high fever, and that he is haunted by the fact he, because of his disability, could not hear Seo-Kyung’s screaming his name during a fire. We know that JW has put up emotional barriers around himself because he feels he is an outcast. Likewise, ME feels that herself is the barrier for being an outcast in her acting career. Her film casting was realistically brutal. The lead actress’ consoling was good but did not make ME feel better.

There is such balance and subtlety in the characters outward emotions and contact between each other. ME feels she offended JW but his letter indicates his shy insecurity around normal people, especially women who take interest (in his mind maybe pity) in him.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It hit home for JW going to the funeral of the orphan girl who only dreamed of one day going to a normal school, so he painted a mural of her outside the school gate. Powerful. ME is still trying to grasp her own jumbled and conflicted feelings of trying to reach her dream as an actress. She learns that it is OK to make a mistake, even a Freudian slip, to someone who will really, really listen to her when she is down. Episode 4 was about listening to others, but also listening to your own heart. A lesson often overlooked in our smartphone dependent lives.

The series continues to have long pauses to reflect like an indie film but also the depth of many layers of a Renaissance master’s painting.

4
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thank you for such detailed episode descriptions of this drama. I don't have access to it (I have Netflix and Viki in Canada) so i'm "watching" it through these summaries. I've liked this actress since Argon.

3
0
reply

Required fields are marked *

Yeah. I am probably dropping the show. On a different show recap one of the beanies commented that they are tired of grown adults acting like children. That is exactly how I felt watching the third episode. Jin Woo is an adult, who has a full time job and is capable of living alone. For him to reject a woman in her late 20's assuming that she does not know what she is getting into felt a bit ... insulting? infantilizing? Maybe it is just me having watched Twinkling Watermelon and seeing Cheong Ah deal with her disability in a more matured way.

1
1
reply

Required fields are marked *

That commentator could have been me.

I think JW's rejection of ME's interest in him (going on dates since she had asked him out several times) is complex: he grew up as an orphan which an outcast in society; he grew up with a disability that culturally discriminates against him; he has an unresolved trauma of being unable to hear the cries of his friend trapped in a fire which leads me to believe he thinks he cannot protect people he loves. It could be that all those elements have made him socially immature and fearful of close relationships. It was an awkward "it's not you, it's me" Dear John letter, but then at the same time he did offer to come to her if she was having a hard time (a promise he kept). I think he has not realized that ME's interest in him is genuine (as in he is an interesting man to be around) and not a pity, social worker case file sort of way.

3
reply

Required fields are marked *

Thanks for the weecap, @dramaddictally! :)

I really like the show.

It’s true that some scenes didn’t feel that organic to me (you know, tropes staring us in our faces, e.g., back hug / crying, meeting again working opposite one another in a big city like Seoul), but somehow the whole show feels organic, and as @welh640 suggested, like a very beautiful and intricate painting. Maybe because I can relate to parts of ME? Maybe to parts of JW? I love that apart from everything that I felt manufactured or inorganic, the relationship that is blooming between the OTP feels organic, and that is one major win in my book. Add to that superb acting from both, I’m a happy clam.

I love the FL’s acting. Like Beans said here, she nails this role. She is vulnerable and strong, shy and a bit innocent, but at the same time straight-forward and brave. She looks like a real person irl that has a bit of everything. Her character has a good heart, and that’s why it’s easy to buy the idea that she likes to be around, or like JW a little more than friends. There is some comforting and understanding aura about JW that makes her feel better about her life and struggles.

JW’s acting is just superb. I can’t imagine how much time an actor needs to practice in order to nail those sign language gestures. He has been doing a lot of homework, and his devotion and effort he put into the project shows in how believable JW looks to me. He is insecure. His shoulders normally drop. He guards himself from others to be considerate but also to not get to attached to them and get hurt. When he wants attention, he thumps his fist on to a table top to gain attention. He tries not to be rude, but being hearing-impaired he sometimes needs to do things that make him look rude to others.

I love all these small gestures and details the show shows. As one Beanie commented in the earlier thread, as this is a quiet show and has much fewer dialogues, the acting, the directing, the cinematography, the editing played the major role in making us understand how the characters feel. I just think it’s a marvelous thing to have such drama that is so unique.

Continue to look forward to seeing next eps :))

1
0
reply

Required fields are marked *