She did look sus, agreed, but I think that might have been a red herring. Maybe this is just wishful thinking, though, because I am rooting for those crazy kids

She wasn't the only one bereaved 🤷🏾‍♀️. He was bereaved too.

And just because you're tactless in general doesn't make it okay to be tactless all the time and in all situations.

@ladyjaye - they're both at fault for being insensitive to each other
she has a long history of putting up a tough/unbothered front in response to pain and he has a pattern of making wrong assumptions about her despite her attempts to dispel them, the miscarriage just happened to combine both in the worst possible way for both of them.

I happen to disagree with you also. She did say that the baby stuff is not needed anymore, meaning they would not try to have another baby. If it was a miscarriage, it was just a miscarriage and not a loss of a born baby. But we don't know yet if it was a misacarriage, she did say that she doesn't deserve to feel bad about it (or something like that). So we don't know all the details yet.
But why he wouldn't jump to conclusions if she never tried to tell him the real facts about her? She had sooooo many opportunities to tell him that she is actually rich, yet she let him believed that she is poor for so long. And she could have come clean with him about how she really felt about the lost preganancy when he moved out of the bedroom but she didn't for so long. Is it that he or us must accept any of her flaws because she is rich and too proud? Is that what the show is telling us?

@Kodra - we see multiple attempts on her part to correct his assumption that she's poor (tries to tell him she's fine without the umbrella because she's got a driver but he doesn't let her get a word in edgeways, actually tells him her clothes are vintage and expensive and she's not poor but he flat-out doesn't believe her, before that he proposes to her under the assumption that she's poor but she's clearly too flummoxed in the moment to respond and he thinks she's just surprised), we have no idea how he found out she was in fact the heiress but clearly he did.

As for the miscarriage/baby loss - it happened two years previously (they've just had their third anniversary) with the wedding anniversary date being 2nd May and the baby's due date being 31st October i.e. a late January conception within the first year of their marriage. By the first anniversary, things have broken down between them badly enough that she doesn't want to be reminded of the anniversary i.e. the baby loss happened before then, which going by the timeline indicates a first trimester miscarriage, if it was a stillbirth she'd have been further along and past the anniversary.

@pogo1
Those were multiple attempts? What a joke. How about "Hey, dude, stop embarassing yourself talking about cows. I am the grandaughter of the guy who pays your checks! The one that will inherit the whole company! I am beyond rich, I have one of a kind designer outfits and shoes, elevator in my house, and an art galery that museums envy! Our house has more mai than your entire family" She let him ridicule himself for months. Himself and his family. How can you say that you love someone when you laugh when he goes on and on and on about how better he is financially than you. She ridiculed him and laughed at him from the beginning for months, not a couple of days. That is why I always said that she started the miscomunication and saw him in the beginning as a trophy, as part of her art collection or an accesory like a bag or shoes. Because of his beauty, remember what she said to her frenemy at the party in ep. 2 (I think). And if we take into account the epilogue of ep. 6, that was a throwback to It's ok not to be ok, the way she wanted to grab him with her hands as that FL did, my theory is true.

About the losing of the baby, I know when that happened. I meant that it was not as a tragedy of losing an already born baby. I had a miscarriage and a kid after it, so there was no reason, from my pov, for her to say that there is no need of the baby items to be in the house unless she meant that she does not want to have another baby. At least that is what he might have understood, hence him moving out out of the bedroom. Knowing that she said that she doesn't deserve to feel sad about the baby, it might be that she had an abortion and not a miscarriage. I do not know this and is just a speculation but why would she say that?

@pogo1
*maids not mai

@Kodra - where in the beginning of their relationship (i.e. pre-marriage portion) did she ever laugh at him or.... ridicule him? The 'we have 30 cows' marriage proposal clearly has her shocked into silence at first, which is a reasonable reaction considering they don't seem to have a real relationship yet at that point, just a crush. When she does start trying to speak, he doesn't let her finish and runs off, leaving her with his umbrella. Bit hard to say the whole 'I'm actually a chaebol heiress' thing when your man doesn't stick around to hear any of it lol.

@pogo1
We all laughed when we heard that. Everyone on the planet would laugh if they knew how rich she is. So she did also, she must have had. And everyone in his place would have been embarased not only on that day, which is excusable, but for all that time until he found out. Which was a pretty good amount of time. Even when the SIL wanted to buy her out she didn't say anything. Even when they cuddled in the bed. Or when they ate the icecream.
Ok, I understand that maybe he left too early the first time he blured the cow thing. But after she goes on her stalking trip (that's when she "tells" us that she started to love him) and it doesn't cross her mind that she should come clean with whom she really is if she cares so much about him? Like the next day she could have said: "Hey, dude, last night you were so cute talking about your cows, but you know, I like you too so you should know that I am the grandaughter....". Why she kept that fact hidden for him for so long while he and his family continued to say embarasing things, I guess we will find out. But that was not cool in my oppinion.
Yes, there are some dramas where the chaebol hides the fact that he is rich but I don't think that the charade is continued for so long after he gets the girl or the girl starts saying so many laughable things and he lets her embaress herself and her family in such ways. I get it, the whole black comedy gender roles reversal thing (SIL buyout, helicopter chaebol thing, etc) but it was done again, to the extreme. In most of those dramas, the female family is always respected. And the female is not embarased to the maximum as he is here in this case and also later when she ridicules him in front of the evil SML. Just imagine the response here on DB if a chaebol just starts hugging another girl in front of his wife or tells the wifey to get out of the room while he talks to a SFL. The fact that she is still loved tells more about us, the audience, and our bias.
And yes, just like the rich jerk chaebol doesn't get a pass when he lies to his FL, this one doesn't get one also. She started the problems in this marriage by not being thruthful to him from the getgo and for embarasing him and thus having the power uperhand in that relatuonship.

@Kodra - your/our reaction as the audience is not hers, and is not what's actually happening onscreen. There's a difference.

How is Hyun-woo not knowing about her Oppa his fault when she never told him about it? That’s not how communication works. She needs to open her mouth for him to know. He is also not “utterly clueless” on how her mom treats her. He was not surprised whatsoever when she called Hae-in a bitch basically. Hae-in has never shown weakness, so he lets her deal with her mom the way she sees fit yet stood up to said mom the moment he saw Hae-in shaking during that dinner confrontation. As for what support he provides her, he literally spent the whole ep6 listening calmly to her speak of her upcoming death and encouraging her to keep fighting. He’s been the one listening this whole episode. It’s literally Hae-in who heard him talk about how much he cried but didn’t truly *listen* or acknowledge it.

I’m really not trying to make this some Hyun-woo vs Hae-in situation tho because I think they are both equally at fault.

In the end of ep 4, we see that she scold him for worrying about him - with their marriage dynamics, it's very likely that this is not a single occurence. He does not have a say in the household, and are expected to silently accept his feelings and become a trophy husband. It will need more marriage flashback to see his effort, but I think it's safe to say that they both make efforts, but it takes vulnerability from both sides to conquer crisis. You can't expect even your loved ones to read your mind and feelings, just like how Hyunwoo can't see all the stuff Haein did to defend or protect him. Out of all the fantastical chaebol villain elements, I really love the hyper realistic portrayal of marriage here. It's not rosy as it is usually portrayed in other Kdrama. The viewers can see how much they love each other but they themselves can't, because they don't see what we see

Yes, I don't think it's black and white and neither is fully to blame, or IMO even more to blame than the other. It's all about choices, and cause and effect. Each decision they made hurt their relationship, and it accumulated over time.

Also, I think the fact that we're arguing so passionately, and everyone is making excellent points, is just a testament to how good the writing is. It shows that the relationship is complex and nuanced, just like a real life one would be.

@vienibenmio - agreed, it's not black and white, the state of their marriage is a result of choices by both of them.

I personally object to any attempts to paint either one as the villain or somehow acting in bad faith in or towards their relationship before the events of the story because if the script so far makes anything clear, it's exactly what you said - this was on both of them, each in their own ways.

"Hyun-woo is the villain in this situation - he should suffer, should make it up to her BUT Hae-in needs to understand exactly why he wanted a divorce. For this relationship to work in the future, Hae-in needs to change her approach and find a way to ask for forgiveness when at fault."

Your whole comment is GOLD. You are much, MUCH kinder to Hae-in than I am (I can't stand her anymore), but you put eloquently in words everything that is wrong (for me) with her character. If I don't see some type of "reparations" from her, I will be strongly questioning the foundation of her love. I can't simply overlook this no matter how much I try. Such a good comment!

"That's when one *should* ask for a divorce."

And he did.

Such a good comment.

Which is probably why she decided to give up on trying (should she have talked to Hyun-woo about it? Absolutely). When you think about how her mother blamed her for her brother's death, it makes a ton of sense that she would assume that this is her fault, too.

I assume that when she just blithely agreed with her dad's suggestion of having a baby, she was just going along with it to make him shut up. Much like she agreed to her mom making her sign that will in order to get married.

If she had a miscarriage then she has every right to cry if she wanted the baby. How could she blame herself or her body for that? How do you think is otherwise? It is not her fault even if is her body unless something else happened for the miscarriage to take place.
I do understand, to a point, her motives to move out the baby stuff because it may cause her more trauma seeing it (although, again, is not like they tried for so long to have a baby and had many such events to be sooo affected by it) but it does not add up when she says that she has no right to cry for it. This is a woman that had no quarells about having another baby to please her parents and her ego to be the heir, with an estranged husband that tells her that their marriage is not a happy one, while saying that the baby will raised up by others while he goes to US to get MBA and her being busy with her three trillion sales competition.
I think the real reason that they mourn (more so him than her) is what they thought the baby could have been for the marriage, as in it would have been the glue for their relationship. Once that got lost, the relationship really felt apart. Of course I am specullating because we don't have a lot of the story from the time between the honeymoon and the loss of the baby, but a marriage just doesn't fall apart from a first very early miscarriage if it was a happy loving one to begin with.

@Kodra it's not what we think, it's what SHE thinks.

As for the idea that she wasn't trying for a baby for long enough to be that affected by the loss of the one she was about to have, my experience is that this is not true in real life, emotions like these don't follow such perfect logic and real-life women can and have been absolutely devastated by the losses of first pregnancies.

@pogo1
I understand, I know the feeling very well of a lost pregnancy. What I do not understand is her reaction to it. Not only that she didn't show that it affected her but she told herself that she had no right to cry. She had every reason to cry like most women in the same situation! And most couples I know, toughen up and try harder, especially if it the first time and they are still young. But she seemed like she did not want to by the way she threw all the baby stuff and by what she told him. And I don't think that someone that was so traumatized by a loss of a past pregnancy would say that the next baby would be raised by others and with the father being mostly away.
Obviously there is more to this story that we are not aware of yet. That is what I was trying to say, to me is not very clear because her actions are very confusing. She threw all the stuff because she couldn't take it because she is so hurt when she sees it but her passcode, the one that she is using everyday, is the baby's birthdate? How is that not a reminder of that baby but the baby stuff were?

@Kodra - my point is, not every real-life woman reacts as you did (and I'm sorry for your loss too). My experience with this was of a friend who got pregnant and miscarried in 2015, and told me in 2022 that she, despite wanting a child, felt like she as a person had felt she didn't deserve to be a mother/was unfit to have children and that the miscarriage felt like confirmation of this fact from her own body, but what destroyed her emotionally was having the chance taken out of her hands, worse than if she'd never got pregnant at all.
Not logical, but still the way she truly felt, like she deserved to suffer (and she had a difficult relationship with her own mother too). QOT is obviously a fantasy but this specific part of it is rooted in feelings I can recognise as true to life even if I hadn't had a friend take 7 years to tell me her own story.

@pogo1 and mimimi

I think that you guys jumped into your own conclussions about what I said. Of course everyone reacts to trauma in each way they can deal with it and there is no right way or wrong way to go about it. But, in the same time, we can say that the way a person goes about it is more in line with the majority or not. This is not in any way unsymphatetic, is just stating a fact. For example, after 9-11 I developed a very high anxiety of heights. Is that what happened to the majority of people watching those events? I don't know for a fact but many of the people around me have no problem with flying or going on rollercoasters so I believe that I am in the minority. Same thing here, I believe that the women that blame themselves and their body after a miscariage are in the minority from my own experiences based on RL. You guys can turn it around however you want it, but I still think that pointing out that fact is not unsymphatetic. Do I think that everyone should feel the same? No, of course not. Do I think that women should not blame themselves? I do because I do not believe that women are at fault when a miscariage happens. I thought we were past Joseon era mentality where women were blamed and they were blaming themselves for not being able to have children. Can they feel that way? Sure they can, they can feel however they want to. But I believe that we, as a society, should do better to help them not blame themselves not only because it is not true (it's not their fault) but also because they would be happier in life. How is that unsymphatetic? Maybe my sympathetic ways are more practical and realistic than yours.

Now, getting back at this particular case in this drama, I can only comment on what we are told by the writer thus far. She threw out the baby things because that is the way she copes with her grief. But she kept the baby's presumed date of birth as her phone passcode. To me it is not logical, either you push away everything that reminds you about it or nothing at all. Unless I get an explanation from the writer on why she did that I will not be on her side in this particular issue. You can say that I have no right to judge what one can choose to keep or throw away because is her trauma and her pain and that I should respect that. Yes and no. Sure she can do whatever she wants to but I can judge how her behaviour traumatized the people around her, her loving and as perfect as it can be until that point husband in this situation. Does she get a pass on that? Nope, she doesn't. You say that I should understand all of her trauma she has been through because of her family. Yeah, but what that has got to do with the husband? Did the writer show us until now that any of his behaviour up until that point mimic in any way shape and form the behaviour of her family? Nope. So why treat him this way? How much abuse one can take from someone always playing the victim card? Should we be sympathetic always, in any condition,...

@kodra - personal experience isn't really enough to make claims about the prevalence of something, so I hit the literature. This one study found that (in a US sample) 47% of people who’ve had a miscarriage feel guilty, and 41% felt they had done something wrong to cause the pregnancy loss https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4443861/

Although I agree that pregnancy loss is never a woman's fault, and that certainly as a society we should do our best to combat self-blame, it's a common reaction people have to negative events. It's often a way people try to assume control over uncontrollable events (if I admit that I couldn't have done anything to prevent it, then that means not all bad things can be prevented and that is terrifying), as well as myths or misconceptions people have about causes of events.

Distorted self-blame following a traumatic event is actually a symptom of PTSD and predictive of negative mental health outcomes.

@Kodra - the point that I've been repeatedly making is that expecting perfect logic from women - either fictional or irl - when it comes to dealing with a highly sensitive subject like pregnancy loss is not always reasonable and that it is not unusual for women to feel self-blame for miscarriages, feel devastated by a first-time pregnancy loss or feel that they were at fault in some way and consequently have no right to grieve etc. This is not about what they should feel (and we are not saying that anyone should feel this way, what a horrific implication), it's about what they do feel. As @vienibenmio pointed out, there are real-life statistics showing 40-47 percent of women feel this way after a miscarriage. Should they blame themselves? Of course not. Sympathy and compassion are called for. But do they? Looks like they do. 40-odd percent is a minority, but a significant one - not too far from half (based on US statistics, but frankly I doubt that that percentage is reduced in South Korea or any Asian country), it's not the extreme aberration of your experience. You seem to be framing your views as 'practical and realistic' in apparent opposition to what we had to say which was merely pointing out the actual reality of several such situations in real life - we are NOT saying women should blame themselves for miscarriages, merely trying to put across the fact that it is not in any way unusual for them to do so, and that it isn't some unrealistic character flaw on Hae-in's part to both feel that she has 'no right' to grieve her unborn child while also keeping a reminder of it in the form of her phone's lock code. Just because someone has a natural right to feel a certain way, doesn't mean they'll be as kind to themselves as we will to them. Hae-in's passcode appears to be her only reminder of the baby that she carries with her daily but four digits is presumably more bearable for her to look at daily than the kind of visual, physical reminder that the baby's unused toys and room decor would have been. I think the real issue here is with expecting characters to follow the viewer's logic rather than their own (which is still rooted in a level of reality because human feelings are not that straightforward but it's true to Hae-in as a character and to what I see as her internal logic i.e. keep it a secret when she feels sad about something, which is a pattern established in her childhood after her brother's death. Child Hae-in is blamed by her own mother for said brother's death - false, unreasonable and monstrously unfair and absolutely awful parenting, yes, but the message was clearly internalised and continued in adult Hae-in when the next loss comes). It's notable that the code to Hyun-woo's safe also begins with a '1', it's not a stretch to believe they might both be using the due date as their pass codes. The failure in communication comes from both of them - there is no indication before the...

@pogo1 and @vienibenmio

I must admit I I am very skeptical of these type of new age studies, I find them unreliable. This particular one was done using Amazon Marketplace with anonymus male and female responders. I am not going to spend too much time about using people that only use the internet (many women, in particular older, do not) or that they used a sample where the white and asian more educated women were more represented but I will point a fact from the article: "Since it is not possible to determine how many people previewed our survey without completing it, there is the potential for non-responder bias. It is possible that those who responded felt stronger about issues related to miscarriage." That means that is not so accurate. Also, more educated in US means more liberal which may mean more are inclined to read about these issues and have an already bias. These type of studies can be manipulated to get a result, one of which these doctors might be used to further fund other researches, as to find more causes for miscarriages in this particular case. Also, it doesn't give a clear picture for the point I was orginally trying to make, which is a newly wed couple that has a first pregnancy very soon (like the case in this drama) after the wedding (which implies they are in that magical loving stage). I find those couples to be more optimistic, rebound faster and try again if this is something that they originally wanted. Of course, if a couple was not succesful for a long time or had more miscarriages, than yes, those feelings can be more frequent. But still, my personal research conclussion (which I find it to be more reliable because I deal with not only my friends and family but also about 20 patients a day - if you do the math for 25 years is a much larger sample than this study - from all over the US (and parts of the world) that come from other issues than mental or OB/GYN ones, that use or not the internet, educated or not educated) still stands even with this biased study because they still found that the majority of women do not express those feelings. And like I said, the procentage of newly wed couple with a miscarriage within a few months from the wedding is probably a lot more. More importantly, I don't think is wrong to say that the majority of women do not have those negative feelings or better, reactions from them (this is what my original statement was, the throwing out of the baby stuff without him knowing or even discussing with him). As this study conclusion states, it is the correct one and one we should thrive for all women to feel. And pointing this out is not to deny their feelings but maybe point out that it is for their own good. Also, these negative feelings might mask other issues, like feelings of losing control as @vienibenmio pointed out.
I do think that these studies do worse than actually help because raising artificially the number of women that feel this way it gives them a "warm"...

@pogo1 and @vienibenmio

I do think that these studies do worse than actually help because raising artificially the number of women that feel this way it gives them a "warm" blanket to cover under, a confirmation that it is right to feel this way if so many others do it, solidifying and prolonging further those negative feelings. If you point out that miscariages ar normal (some have it as high as 25%), are a part of life, it can happen and the majority of women understand this and are ok with it then it will be easier to block those negative feelings faster. Which is more like I thought at the time of my miscariage, although I must admit I had diferrent circumstances because I already had a new born baby.

@pogo1 and @vienibenmio

Anyway, I still think that in this particular case in the drama, with a women that thinks is invincible even when faced with a dying disease, that thinks she can buy her way out and ousmart God with her money, it is very very unlikely that she feels the way you guys speculate. You do speculate because the drama did not tell us yet, all that the drama showed, up until this point, is the password and a glance to the crib. She wanted to rip the ultrasound picture, said that she didn't deserve to cry, only three years later agreed very easily to have a baby with am estranged husband that would be shiped overseas for an MBA and that the baby will be raised by strangers (although that whole exchange with him in the first episode might not be her true self, she might have said it to just irritate him knowing that he would not agree with it which means that she still does not want a baby).
So I stand with my statement that she does not look like she is someone that will blame herself for the loss of the baby. She might be blaming herself for the thoughts of not wanting the baby at that time and maybe she felt guilty when she miscaried. Maybe she keeps the password as a way to remind her of her guilt, to punish herself, hence the "don't deserve to cry" statement. Maybe she also felt guilty when she looked at the crib and maybe that is why she didn't want to see the baby stuff. And probably why she said there is no need for it anymore. She might not have wanted a baby initially because she saw the trauma of losing a child through her mom (she did say that she does not want to upset them). Or maybe she thought will hinder her from taking the heir throne. Or maybe both. We don't know yet but to me she does not look like a women who would blame herself or her body for that one time early miscariage. I might be wrong, probably am, but the drama is very confusing up until now on this issue and can be interpreted both ways.

@kodra Mechanical Turk is commonly used in mental health research and there are studies showing that results from it are valid and reliable.

I would argue that it's actually a good thing to show that a certain percentage of the population experiences self-blame following pregnancy loss. It's validating and normalizing. Saying that someone "should" not feel this way doesn't really change how they feel, and usually just makes them feel worse because now they feel like they're doing something they shouldn't on top of that. In fact, people might be more ashamed if they think they're alone in having thoughts like that, in which case they might be more likely to avoid thinking about it and be less likely to talk about it and get support, which we know is very important to reducing self-blame.

I definitely think there's space to say that self-blame like this are NOT effective and as a society we should do our best to combat harmful myths and other things that contribute to it, while also acknowledging that it's understandable some people may have them.

@Kodra - she is near tears when she attempts to rip the ultrasound while telling herself she doesn't deserve to cry.

It doesn't take much to put 1+1 together and see that she is indeed grieving it. And at no point does the dialogue or subtext ever indicate that removing the baby's things because it hurts to look at them = she did not want to try for another baby (and even if she had, why would she want the same things from her failed pregnancy). Hyun-woo took the decision into his own hands by abandoning their marital bedroom, and she's clearly surprised by that too once she goes back in the house and is told he's moved into the baby's room.

@vienibenmio

The article you mentioned used two other articles as proof that these new online studies are reliable. Those two articles were about use of maijuana in young people and showed that are reliable when used on young people only. Which does not when the whole population is involved, therefore I do not find these studies reliable and should not be used even more so in mental related issues in my oppinion.

"I would argue that it's actually a good thing to show that a certain percentage of the population experiences self-blame following pregnancy loss. It's validating and normalizing."

A certain procentage? I think it's a good thing to show the real procentage done on real population and not one done online. By the way, they were not really anonymous, the Amazon Marketplace did know who they were. So we don't know if certain people can be chosen and directed to certain researches to obtain wanted results.
You can normalize and validate a certain feeling by not exagerating the numbers. A 10% or 20% is just as validating as 40%. By hiking it up you are creating more of the problem I am afraid. Finding out that they are in a much smaller true minority does not invalidate someone's feelings, it just tells them that there are not a lot of people feeling as they are. That will give them more incentives to think that maybe they need to change the feelings that they currently have for themselves. If they find out that are a lot more people like them, it might give them comfort to feel this way but not necessarily make them think that they should do something about it. We all know that people in depression find comfort in negative feelings and cling to them longer. Some might think that if everyone is like them then it must be ok, it is normal and then might not seek help. Because the first step to stop the self-blame is to aknowledge that those feelings (see, I am validating them) are not healthy and not good for them.

Also, it can pre-condition the young into feeling guilty because it is shown that is a normal feeling by these "studies", specially now when sympathy-seeking and sympathy-giving are so prevalent in our society.

"Saying that someone "should" not feel this way doesn't really change how they feel, and usually just makes them feel worse because now they feel like they're doing something they shouldn't on top of that."

Of course we cannot change the way they feel now but we all must hope for them to change those feelings eventually. And we should also not precondition the young minds by telling them that will be normal to feel guilty or to self blame if they have a miscariage because "almost half" of women do it anyway. Cause you know they will, this new generation is probably the most susceptable to pick up on these things.

Because really, don't get it. I mean, in this case, we all agree that feelings of self-blame is not the way to go about it. Because that is the reality based on what the...

@pogo1

As I said, probably my two neurons are not working and I am wrong about it since so many beanies think your way also. But think about it a little, his "sin" of acting all nice with her while facing death in only three months to make her change the will is soooo unforgetable that something needs to balance it. This writer is not one of those rad-fem ones that will write hate men pieces like others. Both CLOY and the alien one (I always forget the name) were not into man bashing like other dramas do. They always got the girl even in tough condition even if not having perfect endings. What can equil that "sin"? Because we know it will come up, she will know eventually. He can back down now and feel bad about it but is still there, he not only thought it but also acted on it. In my opinion, for this relationship to work out, she must do an equally damaging thing. The will is not one of them, she cleared it out easily. Her behaviour until now is not it, he already forgot all about it at this point. What can she do or has done behind his back to be as "sinful" as his? How could she forget him if she is clean, how could she understand this? It is, in my opinion, unforgetable. Will she have an afair? Highly unlikely. If the writer will leave it as such, with only him apologizing like a little dog wiggleing his tail, I am sorry, this will not be the show for me. The balance is tilted all the way for her side at the moment with all of her past traumas, miscariage, deadly disease, divorce paper and a lying gold digging husband. And no, helping the family from the evil gang does not vindicate him, that's his job as a husband. Something must balance it. But to have her not wanting to have baby with him and not telling him about it, that kind of fits the bill. That sort of places them on same footing. At least that is my prefered scenario, that is how I would write it.

"why would she want the same things from her failed pregnancy"

Why wouldn't she? Do you think all women do not try again after a first failed one? Even some that go through those kind of feelings do try again. I did and there is no indication, even from her parents, that she would have a problem with that. They live in the same house, they must have known about the nursery.

A lot of beanies stated that she was so hurt that she couldn't see the baby stuff anymore and that is the real reason she threw them out. She could have let the nursery as it was, didn't need to remove it even without discussing it with him.

He started to, yes. But she has been the only one showing thus far by kissing him when she got drunk, by asking to sleep in the same bed at the hunting trip and all that towel scene in the bathroom. She definetelly wants it but is too proud to beg. 🤣
She did agree to sharing the bedroom only if not a one night stand. And very quickly after he responded, I might add.
It's a good thing in my oppinion to also show the gender reversal when it comes to that.

I mean, he says he hates her and wants to divorce her but even before the drunk kiss he gets jealous of Eun-slimy-bastard hanging around Hae-in and touching her hair or having breakfast with her.

She wants it but is too proud to beg (see: every time she senses he's outside her door or catches him in her bedroom), he wants her but is deeeep in denial that he even still has feelings for her at all until ep 5 end. What a pair.

@pogo1
What a pair, indeed. 🤣

I would like to see her drop some of the manly act with him and for him to act more manly. So that they would be even, the only way a happy marriage based on love can survive. She sucked it all out of him and she is not more atractive to him (and many of us) and nor is she happy. She is lonely as she should be. He, on the other hand, is not so attractive himself as the scared of his shadow queen of tears. I am happy she learned about the divorce and that he did not lie about it. They both need to readjust the power balance in that marriage.

@Kodra - thinking about it, I don't think it's an 'act' on her part - even pre-wedding, she was unusually assertive with showing her interest towards him compared to what we normally see out of female partners in a heterosexual relationship (verbally pushing him to realise he's into her when he's still at the 'it bothers me to see you get yelled at' stage, pursuing him to Yongdu-ri after he ghosted her for being a chaebol). On the flip side, she also seems to really like it when he steps up and does the manly thing, as it were - whether that's giving her his umbrella, standing up to his noona for her, taking her to his hometown. And that still holds in the present day - she's the one who initiates (the ep 3 kiss, the asking if he wants to cuddle before covering it up as a joke when she sees he's uncomfortable, getting out of his bed to find him in Yongdu-ri intending to finish what they started in ep 5) but is also very into his more stereotypically 'manly' moments when he saves her from the boar and does the princess carry, gives her a present or is jealous about Eun-snake.

@pogo1

"verbally pushing him to realise he's into her when he's still at the 'it bothers me to see you get yelled at' stage"

Haha, I just rewatched that yesterday and I felt it so much more than in the first watch. Actually, I like her more and I understand her better on the second watch, even though I still complain about her. That whole first episode unpacked so many things at once.
I think is an act because she had to do it to survive in that family. She had to act tough, like a man and future heir. Because, like you mentioned, she likes it when he steps up and acts more manly. Maybe she will learn to let her guard down more with him so he could do more for her. He did say that she is her boss and that is probably one of the main problems, that she takes that attitude at home with him, she feels that she doesn't need to discuss anything with him at home (the will, the baby stuff, the new pregnancy, etc) and he obviously doesn't like it.
She said that people think that he married her for the money and is eating her inside (at the interview she said that she decided to show her face to stop those rumors). That is why she likes it when he gets jelous. About the cuddle thing, it's "killing" her that he moved out, also maybe because she wonders if it was all for money and stays in the marriage for that. She also said that he takes care of the strangers and should start taking care of the people close to him and he responded that they are not close (it was a question but the same meaning). Obviously she wants to be taken care of and she feels neglected. He feels like she is his boss only and is afraid all the time. Most of the times he just agrees and goes to his room and cries.
I would like for her to be softer and for him to be tougher, like they were at the beginning.

@Kodra - the thing is, I don't think Hae-in's toughness is an act - the orphanage flashback indicates she's been this way since her oppa's death (yells at Eun-snake for hurting Soo-cheol but goes 'he's already slow, he can't become more of an idiot because of you!'). It may be her armour, but she's been that way for long enough that it's clear her very blunt/direct (occasionally callous) way of phrasing things is part of her nature even as she uses it to hide some of her real concerns (saying her family would just fight over her assets and not mourn her but, weeks later, admitting she doesn't want to put her parents through the pain of losing another child, being cool as a cucumber telling Hyun-woo about her diagnosis ("yeah and what did you want to say?") but later, on seeing his research on terminal illnesses (which she mistakes as being done out of concern for her) tells him that getting a terminal illness diagnosis did in fact leave her shaken and she just put up a bit more of a tough front. But she makes that confession still with her straightforward, almost unemotional delivery...it's not that she doesn't have feelings, more like she's not inclined to express them in an emotional manner (also her guard has been all the way down around Hyun-woo ever since she saw his open search tabs - she effectively said as much right there)

As for her thinking he married her for her money, she has proof positive that this is false, in the form of a marriage proposal when he thought she was poor and him turning tail and ghosting her when he found out she was rich - what ep 1 shows us is that it bothers her that other people might assume that.

I've been rewatching it myself and what I've noticed is that she's unusually direct with him in their early days but following their estrangement, has a pattern of waiting for him to give her a sign/make the first move. Like episode 1, where she senses him outside her (formerly their) bedroom door and waits on the other side for him to open it, and initiates the episode 3 kiss after he pushed her up against the tree while trying to get her phone away from her. But she's still the one to bring up their Yongdu-ri single bed sharing days, ask him to come to Germany with her etc. But there's no sign that she's gone past his self-imposed marital exile after the miscarriage, she seems to be waiting for him to make the first move to come to her because he's the one who moved out in the first place (and it makes sense why she'd specifically be happy to see his jealousy over Eun-snake, because it indicates he's still got feelings for her - he's been concerned and caring, sure, but attraction/desire, that seems to have been suppressed entirely and this is her first sign in a while that it still exists)

uh, why do I need to know you to make an assessment of your comment?
But thanks for proving my point, I stand by my earlier comment and its assessment of yours, parts of which directly contradict what we've actually been shown onscreen (immature and doesn't know how to communicate properly, sure, but that applies to both of them with the way they behave. And a "snob"? Hae-in? After episode 4? An "abuser"?). I'm sorry if you or anyone else feels personally offended but I'm just pointing out that the facts don't add up to all your 'concerns'.

It is sad that they started to reignite their love only when faced with a terminal ilness. Until then he was about to divorce her because of the abuse he was feeling from her and the family and she was ok living in a loveless marriage to keep up with the society she was living in only to be the heiress of the company. She never thought to divorce him because of that and never thought that he would want to divorce her because she believed he would never leave such a rich family. That is why she felt she can abuse him and that is why he was so hurt all this years. It is sad and many marriages fail even if both spouses still have feelings for eachother but circumstances in life or character flaws get in the way.
But it's still thought provoking and refreshing if we think about how many dramas with the same framework we had lately that always seem to be about good woman/bad man. At least here we have a good representation of how gray we all really are, without taking sides yet. But we will see, the writer writes good male characters and I hope she still takes care of the ML in the end.

Of course it's a breath of fresh air, that is why IONTBO is one of my favourite drama. By the way, the FL of that drama is one such example for your above question.
But my comment was in response that some beanies are quick to point out flaws for only female leads just because they are women. Which is just not a realistic take here on DB. Maybe on other sites, I hear on Viki there are a lot of trolls. But here is totaly the oposite.
That article, unless there is one that point out the bad female characters in kdramas, should not exist because it is a propaganda piece for male hate. I have said my peace and I will move on now.

@kodra
"But my comment was in response that some beanies are quick to point out flaws for only female leads just because they are women."

I noticed the same tendency. As for me, I want to assure everyone, I will pile on criticism on EVERY character, no matter a gender, even if it's a cute cuddly cat, if they are objectively awful people (animals.) Period. lol

"Think about it, though, who would she have learned healthy emotional coping from? Her mother also avoids grief and other emotions, focusing instead on blame and anger. Her father seems to care more about snails than his human children."