[Work, life, balance, and K-dramas] Growing apart in taste, closer in marriage

72 June 21, 2018June 21, 2018

[Work, life, balance, and K-dramas] Growing apart in taste, closer in marriage

by Guest Beanie

Because This Life Is Our First

My husband and I will be celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary this year. We met in primary school, at age nine, and were each other’s first love. We married young, 23 years young, and both still at university when we convinced our conservative South Asian parents that it was meant to be. So, we tied the knot and flew to the other side of the world to start our brand-new lives together.

The first seven years of our married life were filled with new adventures, financial hardship, takeaway pizzas, and long evenings cozied up next to our small TV watching movies and shows together. Our tastes were the same: Asian horror movies, sci-fi, Lost, Breaking Bad, and Dexter to name a few. We were never apart. Not even for a night.

Year eight saw the arrival of the sweetest, most beautiful baby boy you had ever seen (maybe I am a bit biased!?). He easily took up the shared space between us on our couch for TV watching. We adopted two cats from the streets and our little family was complete.

Because This Life Is Our First

It was one fine day that same year while on maternity leave that I decided to give K-dramas a go. We were already fans of Korean movies and so I thought dramas wouldn’t be that bad. So, I Googled a bit and watched Fated To Love You on YouTube — all episodes in three days!

My husband noticed my new obsession when he saw I was embracing all ways possible to get out of our shared TV watching time on our couch for the night — baby needs rest, cat poop has to be cleaned, I am tired — to watch my new secret obsession, in secret. I knew the dramas wouldn’t be his taste and I was utterly embarrassed for liking something so girly and fluffy for the very first time! A tomboy in my own right, my younger days were spent picking non-girly stuff and sneering at anything pink and fluffy. I knew this new obsession was clearly off the mark for me. But I couldn’t stop!

Very soon I discovered DramaFever. DramaFever on my phone, DramaFever on my work laptop, DramaFever on the bus, the passenger seat of a car, on the toilet, while eating, at the park! I was unstoppable! And I was not ashamed anymore!

I dreaded going back to work after my maternity leave was over. When would I get time to watch? What happens if I miss a new episode? How can I juggle a baby, work, household chores, and my obsession at the same time? We were better off financially by then, so it was a relief when I was able to get back to work part-time. At work I missed my little boy, so much that my heart ached, but as soon as I picked him up from daycare, bathed him, and gave him his dinner, we were back again curled up in front of our TV watching dramas together while I verbalized to my toddler son what I was seeing onscreen and he happily babbled in return. It became our own routine while we waited for his dad to return home from work.

As for my dear husband, he teased me relentlessly for my new “crack,” but managed to give me some time of my own to unwind in my own way, while he found something else he loved to do: read. We still watched our shows together and still had our time, but we both compromised to accommodate my everlasting love of K-drama and his newfound love of reading.

For our eighth anniversary he bought us a brand new big TV. For our ninth, a VPN subscription and Netflix. For our tenth, a subscription to Viki, among other things. Our nighttime routine is still the same. Us on the couch, me unwinding with my dramas and him reading, our 4-year-old on his iPad learning the alphabet, our two cats purring on either side, and my husband and I holding hands.

Just Between Lovers

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1 Dbeanie

June 21, 2018 at 8:14 AM

Loved your write up. I can completely relate to this. I had also not told my husband about this new kdrama addiction. I would watch dramas day in and out.. Now that my husband knows about it, he teases me. I can now almost understand Korean. On our last trip to Hong Kong, we saw many Koreans. He would make me eavesdrop on their conversations just to test my Korean language skills :)

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