Love, February Day 1.2.2020
(I think it’s) My first time joining 💕
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    Dear me, – I love you.

    Not so long ago, I posted a question on my fan wall – How can I love myself? The thing is that I have heard this for hundreds of times, but I didn’t have any idea as to what self love was or care to think about it. But when my therapist told me the same thing again, I began to question as to ‘how’?

    The first reaction of me was finding the answer from an online source – WikiHow LOL. Funny right? But that was precisely what I did. But even then, I still didn’t really understand the concept of it or how I could achieve it so I posted it on my fan wall. Dear @wishfultoki, among some other lovely Beanies, provided me with an answer – she suggested that I should just ask my therapist as to how I could achieve that, which was very straightforward and effective. I haven’t told Toki this yet, but I actually did just that and she should have seen my therapist’s facial expression: I think she was surprised by the question and tried to come up with something that I could do to ‘love’ myself. She asked me if I could still love myself if I lost 2 arms? I was shocked because I had never thought of it, but then realized that my initial feeling was feeling guilty. It seems like I had the tendency to blame myself when anything went wrong with me in the past, I guess I had forgotten to just self-love. I blamed myself for things which weren’t even my fault for years (and for not being stronger than I was back then), but things just began to change recently – I think I am growing up a little bit better and beginning to appreciate myself and things a little bit easier. I think I love myself and be kind to myself more than I used to. I’m in the baby stage of learning to forgive others and myself. This is a huge improvement.

    So thank you Toki, dearly. Thank you to every suggestion from Beanies too. It really made a difference.

    And thank you @mugy for being a eucalyptus I can koala hug anytime ( XD) – You know I related to ML in Run On so much and felt hurt when no one understood him and treated him badly. That’s because I tended to be a bit different too. And that was why I stopped watching at ep.7. (Mugy is my other half because she likes almost everything that I don’t, and me vice versa lol)

    I feel like I have friends here, good ones I didn’t have a lot of when I was younger. Now I have many good people around me right here where I live and here on DB I don’t think I want to ask for more. DB and Beanies provide me a safe haven I can rest when I feel exhausted. I’m happy and grateful for it.

    So dear me, I love you.
    And I love others too simply because they love me and help me love myself better.

    But most importantly, I love you Baby Kim Seon-ho. <3<3<3 *confetti*

    Love,
    February

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      @mmmmm I am so happy for you 😊

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      Self-love is a hard one. I don’t know the answer to that question either. I’m glad you found some perspective on such a hard question and that DB was able to help!

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        Thank you LT. Perhaps your Slump Land helped too. Glad to learn that it’s a difficult question for others too 😅.

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      Dear @mmmmm I feel happy and honoured that my words made a difference! I would have loved to see the therapist’s face. 😅

      I’m still pondering her answer. So was she saying that the key to loving ourselves (or one of the keys) is to not be too hard on ourselves or feel guilty about things that are not our fault? I’m still learning how to do this too… It will probably take me years if not my whole life. But life is a journey where we can always keep learning, right? Fighting!

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        Thank you toki 🥰. Your suggestion did help. My therapist is well-matched with me I think because she could always come up with certain questions that I could ponder for myself. Like the way she questioned my take on things.

        For me, I realized that, surprisingly, my initial feeling upon hearing such question was guilty -which didn’t make any sense because it wasn’t my fault. So I could see the tendency to self-blame things that weren’t even my faults. The questions made me learn about myself better, and help me see and accept myself as who I am.

        I don’t know the answer to it either, but for me self love needs to consist of an appropriate degree of self awareness and self respect IMO.

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          *at least an appropriate degree of self awareness, self respect and self acceptance.

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      Thanks so, so much for sharing this.
      The path to loving oneself is hard and it takes time to understand you’re not being selfish.
      You are doing so, so good.
      You are a ray of sunshine. Keep shining.

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        Your words warmed my heart, thank you eazal ☺️.

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      <3 Thank you for sharing ~ loving ourselves is hard to do, and hard to even know what that looks like…

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        Me neither, but I guess I’m also in the process of learning it. I still have time..
        Thank you Cocoa for such a wonderful activity. ☺️

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      Thanks for sharing 💙

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      Self love can be such a challenge because we know our own weak points better than anyone. Happy to hear that you’re learning and it’s getting easier. I think it’s a life long venture.

      Barring anything bad happening in the last 2 episodes of Run On, I think you’ll like seeing how several people truly love and want to protect the ML. It’s not all smooth sailing (because K-drama requirements must be met?), but he’s very appreciated. I love the drama because I know many people like the ML as well as the FL (maybe me). No wonder you think we’re complementary halves.

      You know I have to add this – He’s mine and he sends his regards.

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        *tight embraces* Thank you for cheering for me along the way mugy. Your company is very appreciated. ☺️

        I’ll let you know how I feel about Run On once I’m ready and start watching it again.

        Because of your kind and thoughtful response, I’ll let Baby stay with you for one day.

        *prepares an army*
        *consults a lawyer for abduction charge*

        🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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