Makjang with a happy ending.

@hotcocoagirl’s makjang just reminded me of some hospital drama I was part of that was all makjang, but turned out quite alright. I just want to put that out there, since my last submission was all too horrifying. It was the Taco Bell PPL reference that reminded me, so here is my next submission for #makjangmonday.

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    I was a fellow at a university hospital. I was a little older than my co-fellows as I did a 4 year military service commitment after medical school, when most of them went straight into fellowship. It was there that I befriended several other doctors doing further subspecialty training and one that I became good friends with. He was from a Hispanic family, also a first generation American. I’m going to call him Juan here (although his real name is so much cooler). We were both married, but my husband would always tease that Juan was my “work husband” because we watched out for each other, went to lunch together, and just spent a lot of time together at work. I was his emotional support during fellowship. I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s what I ended up being. I’m sure there were rumors about us in that hospital, but it was what it was.

    His wife was a first generation Indian-American (don’t you just love America?) but was doing an extended residency in a nearby town, and he only saw her (and as he called it, had conjugal visits) on weekends. And with the craziness of her surgical residency, he really didn’t talk to her much during the week. I met her once. I invited the department to my house for a pool party and he brought her. You know how you meet a couple and you think, “How did they end up together?” She tall and model-esque. She was probably 2 inches taller than he was. Juan was just average height, maybe a little shorter than average. I won’t disparage my friend, but when I met him, he reminded me of a frog with glasses. Kind of like if you kissed him, he might turn into a handsome prince. He was funny, engaging, and really very sweet and thoughtful. He would tell me about her, their sex life, everything, and I knew he adored her.

    One of our quick lunch stops was Taco Bell. I think that’s where we first met and talked actually. We would walk there and back to the hospital together 2-3x/week and I would have the meximelt and he would have the bean burrito. He talked about cars, a lot. I could speak “car” because my husband likes cars too. He was so excited that day because he had finished building his wife a car for her birthday. It was an adorable MG that even I was impressed with. He and his brothers had spent the better part of a year rehabbing it. He was actually leaving work early and surprise her with it. (I told you he was sweet.)

    So, one guess as to what happens next…

    He had gone to the house she was staying, a house that she was renting a room from a doctor whose family lived there as well. They had a son in college who was home for the summer. And Juan (dear, sweet, thoughtful, frog-prince-in-disguise, Juan) walked in on his wife and this son of the doctor.

    He called me in tears. I told him to drive back to town—in her car.

    My husband took him out until late that night. I still had kids to take care of.

    He sold her car and a year elapsed.

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      Juan and I were working in our cubicles, maybe there were other fellows there, but I just remember his conversation. “What do you think about that new nurse?” he asked me. “Umm, I think she’s pretty nice. Wait, do you like her?” “I’m going to ask her out, I think.” “Really?” I’m really dumfounded at this point. Because for the past year, I’d only listened to him bemoan his failed marriage; he never thought he’d be divorced. (His wife had asked several times if he would stay with her. She ended up fired from her residency for inappropriate behavior.) And Mary the nurse, I’ll call her, had been all but throwing herself at Juan since she had arrived. And after reading @hotcocoa’s account of nurses she’s worked with, you can imagine what I was thinking. “She’s cute, I guess.”

      He really liked her. And from what he would tell me (which was probably more than I should have known) she really liked him too. At least she knew what a great guy he was. Several of our co-fellows worried that she was too controlling because she had to keep dibs on who he was with, where he was, and how long he’d be gone. But as Juan told me, she told him that she knew what a great catch he was and knew there would be other women wanting him. (To which I was like, maybe?) Who do you think was enemy #1? You guessed it. ME. So no more Taco Bell dates or hanging out with my husband and me, unless she was there.

      I went to their wedding. It was a smallish affair, his second wedding. (His first was a 3-day traditional Indian extravaganza.). It was mainly family, and us co-fellows and attendings with whom he worked. I hoped he’d be happy and that she wouldn’t hurt him, but she was kind of a bridezilla, and I had my doubts. I had really stopped being an emotional crutch for him at this point. And Mary liked me better that way as well.

      They’ve been married for 7 years now with four girls that includes a set twins who were just born this year! And they are all princesses! I send them baby shower gifts every time they have a child. I’m more than happy for Juan right now. His makjang really turned into a fairy tale ending, and I turned out to be the random supportive friend.
      (Maybe Nam-woo in “A Poem a Day.” Well, I didn’t have an alligator, but Juan was my “frog” for a while.)

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        Yay! Phew, I was really worried for him for a while there …

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        Juan sounds like a cool guy. Glad he found someone to be happy with.

        I have to admit, a lot of the story I was distracted by the fact that two doctors ate Taco Bell, which is possibly the worst food on the planet.

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          Do you know what residents and fellows get paid? Peanuts, that’s what. It’s basically free labor if you added up how many hours we actually worked.

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          And it was only because our fellows’ offices faced the Taco Bell and it was really a 5minute walk from our office there and back. It was closer than the cafeteria, which we would eat at as well. One conversation I remember having with him in the cafeteria was that he had just bought stock in FORD who didn’t take the government bail out and its stocks were low. I wonder how his stocks are doing now? Probably well.

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        Ah so glad he is happy now! You had me worried 🙂

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        I don’t know if it was actually that surprising when the affair reveal came but I gasped on cue anyway.

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        When makjang monday started i made a random makjang story in my mind. I’m more than surprised reading this because the guy protagonist in my mind was a doctor and was cheated on. How i wish such things don’t happen to real people but *gasp* they do. Well i am really glad it turned out well for him.

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        Sigh… I want to be happy for Juan, and I am, but do you know how many times us single nurses are asked if we are looking to snag a doctor? Because heck no. I respect doctors a great deal, but there is a whole hierarchy and power imbalance there that just makes the idea of dating a doc you work with seem horribly icky to me.

        I guess it’s like the secretary dating their boss trope, a lot has to happen to make me okay with that.

        Hehe, I’m honestly very happy you too enjoyed Taco Bell PPL when broke.

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          I know several doctor-nurse couples. It all depends on how they meet that takes the “ick” factor out of it for me. If they meet before the nurse is the doctor’s subordinate, I’m ok with that. Juan was a fellow. We were were only higher than med students and residents; nurses could make or break you at that stage. I had some that I was definitely intimidated by during training!

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            Ooh, gotcha. My only time at a teaching hospital was as a nursing student, when we were pretty darn low on the totem pole.

            And I agree about the “when they meet” part being key, I guess my two years of experience has only really seen a couple of icky situations which only end with someone hurt…

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          Ha – so my mini makjang story is this situation exactly: My uncle left his wife (mom of my cousins and his two adult kids) for one of the nurses in his office. It was so shady and no one has filled me in on the details, but I assume they were having an affair.

          It’s been 22 years and his first wife can’t let go. Granted, she wasn’t always a saint either, but they also got married when she was like 17, had 2 kids in quick succession and were married for probably 20ish years. It really doesn’t surprise me as an adult that it broke down so spectacularly. Also, wife no. 2 is pretty much your standard makjang evil second wife/stepmother (only not grossly young – actually, she’s probably more age appropriate for my uncle). Granted there are a lot more shades to the story but I only know bits and pieces because no one talks about it.

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            That’s pretty makjang. I hope your uncle is happy, at least.

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            I love my family as rule (unless they don’t deserve it) but my uncle really tries me. I may write a Makjang Monday post about the politics of my father’s family. It’s as complicated as any chaebol family, but with less designer clothing and more passive-aggression. We recently had a get together and I was reminded as to why we only do this every few years or so. They are almost unilaterally all terrible in one way or another.

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      I like that nearly all these #MakjangMonday stories have a time-jump! 😄

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