I’ve been half dreading and looking forward to this month’s Love February posts, because it’s a reminder to stop rushing from here to there and take the time to stop and reflect.
On bad days, I still go back to re-read some of your stories, to take comfort in your words. Thank you and I promise I will catch up with all of your posts this week. ❤

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    I’ve always had this superstition or belief that voicing negative thoughts would make them come true. As if I by voicing these thoughts out loud, I am tempting fate. (I don’t mean the usual grumbles of life but for example if a loved one is sick, my mind thinks of the worst case scenario).
    As usual, I get on with the day, try not to worry about it, worry about it, work out all the possibilities and outcomes and just keep pushing on.

    Last month, I tried something new.
    I sent a chat to my best friends and told them what was really going on.
    Not to get sympathy but to just say I’m having a hard time and that things are getting worse.
    I wasn’t able to talk more about it or have the visual reminder of my initial text to them into the group chat so I deleted my texts and kept their responses.
    I felt relieved. I felt accepted.
    For that brief moment, I felt like I had someone else to do the thinking for me.

    Over the past year, I’ve been realising that things aren’t ok and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix it. Every conversation, every call to the doctor has left me certain that my worst thought will be a reality and there is nothing I can’t do.

    Travelling home on the way from another appointment, I finally got the courage to say something to my mother.
    She listened. She agreed.
    We started working on a plan together.
    If the worst comes to worse, we will handle it.
    For the first time, I don’t need to fix it on my own.

    Love, February.

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      love this, ayan. sending you a lot of love and the biggest hugs <3

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      Thank you for sharing 🥰🥰🥰

      In moments like these, having days like these, all you can do is to take it step-by-step and day by day, and that’s totally okay!!
      I agree that society’s standards always tell us that we it’s a need to look ahead, plan ahead, have all of our ducks in order, but to that, I say, “Screw it”.
      With that type of mindset, it makes it really easy for us to lose sight of what’s really important, it takes away the joys of the little things in life and the little victories—which should ALWAYS be celebrated, I say— and then we end up rushing ourselves and pushing ourselves to celebrate the “big” things—which are still important, don’t get me wrong— but then at the end of it all, when it’s all said and done, there will only be 2 outcomes: feelings of overwhelm or feelings of emptiness

      So take your time, savour it all. Let yourself feel, let yourself think, let yourself cry. Just remember to go at it with your own pace ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

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        This is so true, in any way usually we have feelings of emptiness or being overwhelmed.

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      [Hugs] I am glad you don’t have to go through this alone.

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      Lots of hugs to you. You can do it. Together, you can do it.

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      It’s always good to talk it out Ayaan. Confide in someone, if not always then sometimes. While we are essentially on our own, sometimes we do need some comforting words or opinions because we may not be able to always seek help from the inexperienced us.

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      Oh, thanks for sharing.
      So glad you’re sharing it with someone as special as your mum.
      Sharing with others an receiving their support is so important, because it means you’re not alone, you don’t HAVE to figure it out on your own.
      I’ve been there.
      Sending you hugs.

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